Chapter 31
"The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that." —
Woody Allen
"I'll never forget the first day I saw you," he said later on, as we sat leaning on a boulder, his arm draped around my neck, and my head on his chest.
"It was in the fruit market, and you were there with the older housekeeper. I didn't think you were a real human being. In fact, I thought you were a goddess or something. You didn't look like you were from this world."
I smiled. "I'm sure you were still in your diapers then, so you hadn't seen much of the world yourself."
He chuckled. "You're not that much older than I am, Zeynep. Three years is nothing in today's world."
"It's four actually, and that's plenty where I come from," I answered, the smile on my lips fading. "You're too young for me, Jason. This can't lead anywhere."
He titled up my chin. "Says who? Make no mistake about it, zeynep. I'm going to marry you one day."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Marry indeed! Have you even finished saving money to send yourself to school?"
But he wasn't amused. "This isn't a joke to me. I'm in love with you, and I swear to God that I will not rest until I can take you away from your excuse of a husband."
"You want to marry me, even with all my baggage?" I asked, when I realised he was serious. "I don't need to ask if you've heard about Ibrahim and I. The whole media has heard. I'm not the pure and spotless angel you think I am. I'm dirty and –"
He put his finger over my lips. "zeynep, you are perfect to me."
With that statement, I was signed, sealed and delivered.
With that statement, I knew immediately he was the one my heart had been waiting for.
And so became our nightly ritual.
I would leave earlier, usually at about 7pm, and meet him at the creek, where we would talk, daydream, and talk some more, with the burble from the bayou and nocturnal animal sounds as a soundtrack.
During the day, we were, at best, civil to each other.
If I saw him whilst in my garden, I would acknowledge his greeting with the courtesy of nods.
Nobody who saw us would have believed that we were lovers after sunset.
There were times he tried to sneak in a smile with his greeting, but those were the times I was even more offhand.
The last thing I wanted was for anyone to suspect us and, thankfully, nobody did.
Another wonderful outcome of our love was that my sleepwalking completely stopped.
I no longer awoke to find myself in strange parts of the house.
Instead, I awoke on my bed, in the same state of content bliss in which I fell asleep after returning from our rendezvous each night.
"I'm going to make sure you go back to school," Jason said on one occasion. "You're a very smart girl, and I know you'll excel. Who knows, your NASA dream might still become a reality one day."
I'd laughed at the mere idea. "Don't talk nonsense, Jason. NASA indeed. From a village Indian girl to NASA?! Is that how they do it? Let's get you into school first. Then you can get a fancy job in New-York and take care of me properly."
"I won't insist. All I know is that I'm definitely going to give you the best in life," he laughed. "Starting with a mobile phone. As soon as I can save enough money, I'm going to buy you a mobile phone. You're probably the only one I know who doesn't own one."
This, like most of our conversations, prompted a giggle from me, which, just like the other times, would always lead to more kissing.
We hadn't gone beyond that, and even though there was a particular occasion when I could tell he was very excited, he'd somehow been able to control himself.
And I loved him all the more for it.
I never knew love and sex were not mutually exclusive, that I could be loved and feel so passionately for someone I desired, and who desired me sexually, without giving my body away.
Leaving him was always the problem, and it took a lot for us to tear apart from each other after every rendezvous.
I made sure I didn't get back to the ranch anytime after 10 PM, and nobody seemed to be the wiser about my whereabouts.
I was sure to be casually dressed, enough for people to think I'd just been wandering around the compound, or maybe even in my garden.
Nobody seemed suspicious of my movement.At first.
There was a night I got home, and as I was making my way up the stairs, Clara brushed past me with tears in her eyes.
I stared at her as she rushed out of the house and wondered what could have happened to upset her so.
Since the incident with her mother, she had been almost a permanent fixture in the house, barely even leaving to go to school.
Her mother, on the other hand, was now a thing of the past. Before Jason, I would have been worried about Clara soon replacing me as the minister's wife, but now, I no longer cared if the man married ten of her.
"Where are you coming from?" The minister's voice boomed over me.
"I went to look for something to eat in the kitchen," I answered, trying to keep my voice calm and steady.
"But I didn't find anything."
"When you're too lazy to cook, how will you find anything?" he mumbled, as he descended the stairs past me.
"Are you looking for Clara? She has gone," I said, deriving pleasure in giving him that titbit of information.
He glared at me, obviously detecting my sarcasm, and continued his march to the front door.
I chuckled as I walked upstairs. Good luck to them.
The next morning, as I ate breakfast, I was in the mood for some gossip.
"What happened to Clara?" I asked madam maria. "I saw her crying and running out of the house last night."
"Really?" madam maria asked. "Where did you see her?"
"I was going upstairs as she was running down. She even almost pushed me off the stairs," I added with a snigger.
"Hmmm. And where were you coming from?" madam maria asked.
There was something in her voice that made me look up at her, and I saw genuine concern in her eyes. "Zeynep,Be careful."
With that, she carried her tray and exited the room, leaving me staring at her in panic. Did she know? Could anyone know? No, it wasn't possible.
Jason and I were careful.
There was no way anyone could know.
I convinced myself that it had been a warning from her to stay out of the minister and Clara's matter.
Yes, that had to be it.
I didn't even have too much time to ponder over it as, just like a long forgotten nightmare, Ibrahim resurfaced later that afternoon.
He had been away in Europe, working on one business deal or the other.
I had since realised that the minister's wealth had not come from baked goods, but from smuggling firearms.
When some of their government contacts had been sacked a few years before, there had been a downturn in their business, but from the way the minister had resumed spending money like it was going out of fashion, it was apparent that business was booming once again.
"Zeynep! My beautiful zeynep!" Ibrahim exclaimed the moment he saw me in the hallway, not caring who around him could hear. "You look more beautiful every time I see you."
"Welcome," was all I could mutter.
"I brought you some lovely things I believe you'll like," he said, reaching for my hand. "Let's go upstairs, and I'll show you."
I stepped away from his reach. "I'm not feeling too well. Some other time."
He looked at me, a frown forming on his face.
"You're not feeling well, how? You look pretty fine to me. If it's that time of the month, you know I don't mind."
My stomach churned at the awful memories his statement evoked, and it took everything in me not to slap him hard across the face.
But instead, I took a deep breath and shook my head. "I don't feel well. I am not up to anything. Sorry for the inconvenience."
I looked him in the eye, daring him to react.
We both knew I was no longer that girl he could bully into submission.
Our recent dalliances had been strictly for monetary gain, and as I had found a treasure more valuable than money, I no longer needed him.
The beauty of it all was that he couldn't make me do anything I didn't want to.
Not anymore