The sky above the Ledger Plains grew quiet, as if even the winds held their breath.
After the bureaucratic chaos of the Bit-Byte Bureaucrats and the accidental uprising led by Vātraka's Bleatāṭṭam, a hush settled over the group. In the aftermath, the ancient Sanctum of Unrecited Verses—a fusion of banyan branches and stone memory—shimmered faintly. And then, as if summoned by laughter and rebellion, a forgotten chamber revealed itself beneath the roots.
Nikāma stared at the exposed stairway leading down into darkness. "Well, I suppose this is what happens when you dance hard enough to unlock hidden lore."
Kaśyapī stepped forward, her eyes gleaming. "Or fate decided we were finally worthy."
Vātraka adjusted his imaginary spectacles. "Or someone accidentally filed 'subterranean relic vault' under 'miscellaneous picnic zones.' Either way, onward."
The Descent into Memory
Each step was inscribed with a lost mantra. Whispering voices filled the air—snippets of forgotten epic poetry, debates on relic policy, and obscure relic warnings like:
"Caution: Relic No. 17 may cause temporal hiccups, identity reversals, or spontaneous folk dances in inappropriate contexts."
At the bottom of the stairway stood a lone plinth carved from śāntiśilā, a peace-infused stone. Resting atop it was a massive tome: The Relic Codex of the 108.
Its cover was stitched from the skins of reborn parchments—sentient scrolls that had once argued with their owners. A lock hung in midair above it, turning and clicking rhythmically as if judging whether the reader was worthy.
The moment Nikāma touched the airlock, it melted into smoke.
The Codex opened on its own.
The Revelation of the Relics
Written in Deva-Sanskrit hybrid glyphs, the Codex pulsed with presence. It was not read—it was experienced. Each page unfolded with an illusion, summoning faint visions of the relic's purpose and chaos.
Kaśyapī whispered in awe, "These aren't just objects... They are embodiments of unspoken cosmic ideas."
Below are select entries from the Codex's infamous 108:
Relic 01: Ladle of Limitless Laughter (अनन्तहास्यपात्रम्)
Wielder: Nikāma (currently)
Effect: Dispels despair, distorts seriousness, destabilizes rigid bureaucracy.
Warning: Overuse may induce divine bellyaches or attract Pun-Rākṣasas.
Relic 08: Mirror of Māyāmetrics (मायामापकदर्पणः)
Effect: Shows the truth behind all illusions, including self-delusions and fake holy men's Yelp reviews.
Warning: May fracture egos beyond repair. Keep away from motivational speakers.
Relic 13: The Sanskara Spoon
Effect: Adds life lessons to any dish. Even bland rice will taste like spiritual transformation.
Side Effect: Can trigger childhood flashbacks or ancestral debates.
Relic 21: The Feather of Śravaṇa (श्रवणपक्षपत्त्र)
Effect: Allows the bearer to hear secrets whispered in any realm.
Cursed Usage: Bearer might also hear divine complaints, inter-realm gossip, and occasional celestial bathroom noises.
Relic 26: The Time-Tangled Thread of Tṛtīya Kāla (तृतीयकालसूत्र)
Effect: Lets the user stitch broken moments in time.
Caution: Loose ends might attract rogue timelines or temporal tax collectors.
Relic 35: Cosmic Abacus of Kārmaṇika (कर्मगणकयन्त्र)
Effect: Instantly calculates karma gained or lost from any action.
Bonus: Comes with an "undo" button for minor blunders. Major sins require admin approval.
Relic 44: The Coin of Consent (सम्मतिमुद्रा)
Effect: When flipped, both parties must agree to a deal.
Judgment Clause: Flip not allowed without both hands present and aware.
Relic 51: Jar of Forgotten Joys (विस्मृतसुखकलशः)
Effect: Unseals happy memories buried by trauma or adulting.
Overuse Risk: Induces extreme nostalgia and irrational longing for simpler lives and better Wi-Fi.
Relic 63: Goose of Eternal Bureaucracy (शाश्वतकार्यालयहंसः)
Effect: Lays forms instead of eggs. Requires approvals before flight.
Status: Lost after flying into the Department of Infinite Approval and getting trapped in Form-47(A).
Relic 72: Bell of Bhraṅśa Bodha (भ्रंशबोधघण्टा)
Effect: Rings at the precise moment a person begins to fall from grace—or into a hole.
Alternate Use: Cosmic wake-up call for political debates.
Relic 88: Pen of Parāśabda (पराशब्दलेखनी)
Effect: Writes only in divine metaphors. Turns grocery lists into sutras.
Translation Required: Comes with built-in confusion for mortals.
Relic 99: Vātraka's Horn of Hemorrhaging Humor (हास्यशृङ्ग)
Effect: Once sounded, renders all within earshot uncontrollably giggly for 108 seconds.
Cursed Clause: If sounded during a tax hearing, causes existential audits.
Relic 108: Manuscript of Mokṣa-Misfiling (मोक्षच्युतलेखपत्रम्)
Effect: Records a soul's true destiny… but writes it in the wrong department.
Potential: Could free a being from the cycle of rebirth… or accidentally file them as "Inventory."
Beyond the Codex
Kaśyapī closed the book gently. "These relics... they're not weapons. They're... metaphors incarnate. Symbols. Tools to rewrite the absurdity of existence."
Vātraka nodded sagely. "And also wildly impractical in most situations. I mean, the goose?"
Nikāma grinned. "Still... we've got one already. And if what that merchant said is true, the Ladle still has potentials yet untapped."
A pulse of energy flowed from the Codex into Nikāma's arm. The Ladle hummed. A faint glyph appeared near its base: a laughing eye, half-closed.
"Second Potential Unlocked: The Ladle of Parodic Prophecy."(Function: Foretells events—but only in absurd, satirical verse.)
Kaśyapī clapped in delight. "Congratulations! You've just become the world's least helpful oracle."
Nikāma smirked. "Better than being another line item in the cosmic ledger."
As the Codex sealed itself and the plinth sank slowly into the floor once more, a hidden doorway opened in the wall behind it—revealing a long, winding path made of mirrored steps and echoing with faint laughter.
A new quest awaited.
One where relics would not only empower—but reshape the very narrative of reality.