Stuck by fire Aaleyah rips her hand away from someone's hold, her eyes turning to the assassin in front of her. "Saan?" Why is he here? Her eyes scan her surroundings, the palace, the balcony, the moon high in the sky. Moving her hand over her speeding heart she takes slow steady breaths.
Swallowing deeply she forces the flames burning in her throat. Her eyes fall to her clean hands, no more blood on them, but not seeing doesn't make something disappear. Her throat dries from her heavy breaths, her body shivering from the cold that did not exist outside. Flinching from winds nature was not creating.
Her tears roll off her face and fall onto Saan's hands. His hands stay placed ever so gently on her lap, he never moved them from when she snatched her hands away. His fists tighten as he watches her shake, her body racking with sobs she refuses to release. She has to relax, she is worrying him. But she is shocked when her hand gets wet from tears that still fall. Peaking at Saan he seems too afraid to speak, in her lap his hand turns up and she clutches it tightly.
Gone. Everyone is gone. Her mind slowly starts to clear. "Everyone is dead." The fight was for nothing. "Everyone is dead." It would have been better if she never made it out of that manor.
Hearing her icy voice, Saan's expression darkens. "That's not true."
Aaleyah smiles, a smile where her lips part to show a couple of her teeth. Her cheeks lifting slightly, and her empty vacant eyes bore into his, "They're all dead," she repeats, this time her voice is filled with more conviction.
Saan freezes, "I said goodbye to you hours earlier like a fool. I should have never left your side. Now you are-" he cuts himself off, but Aaleyah finishes his thoughts.
Laughing in pain, "Now it is the same. Once more it is my fault, I have failed. Every drop of blood, every loss, every death is on me. I can scrub my hands raw but I will never be clean again," she mutters.
"Aaleyah, listen to me," he stays kneeled on the floor. Waiting for her to respond, to make some movement that she is listening to him. So patiently he waits, brown eyes only showing compassion. "Life is filled with pains, scars that I am unable to take away. Pains I am unable to make disappear. Burns I am unable to cool. But if you would allow it, I will live my life sharing in it with you."
Aaleyah's eyes flicker with emotion. Why? Why does he not see her as who she is? Her fate is to die.
"I do not have the power to bring your family back, I lack the power to erase the trauma of the past. You say everyone is gone, but within you they live, and so you have to live. Not with guilt, not with shame. But you have to live accepting the sun that you deserve to have shine on you, the sweetness of the honey you deserve to taste, and the love," he lightly squeezes her hand, "that you deserve to have." Slowly standing, "There is nothing I demand of you, there is nothing you must bare on your shoulders by yourself. But this simple man asks that you let me in. Allow me to comfort you. Life is beautiful, and I desperately wish to live it with you."
Aaleyah allows him to pull her off the chaste and lead her to her bed.
With one arm wrapped around her shoulders Saan pulls the blanket back and guides Aaleyah to sit on the bed. His hands slide down her arms and remove her golden cuffs, and bracelets. With a clang he places them on the tray next to the bed. Then taking a cloth from the bowl under the bed he cleans her feet.
The cool water on her feet is soothing, Saan's strong hands that wield swords are gentle as he cleans her. Lifting her hand she moves his crown from the top of his head, holding it in her lap she waits for him to stand. Her fingers trace the four red and blue jewels. The leader of the four members of his family, and the four corners of the kingdom. His crown is a symbol of protection.
Discarding the cloth Saan rises to his full height towering over her. His finger twirls a small curl by her face, his eyes studying her and she wishes to closes them. To stop him from seeing the war that is her emotions; but her heart longs for him to know. Just for tonight she needs him to see her.
"Shall I leave you?" Aaleyah can see the pain the question causes him. His fear that she will shut him out, and she wants to. She wants to have him leave and the moment the doors close to collapse and cry. But her hands do not release him.
Unable to control herself a tear falls as she whispers her needs to him. Her voice is so quiet she is not sure he will hear her, "Stay."
Saan leans down and kisses her forehead. "Alright." He quickly changes his clothes and returns to her side without hesitation.
Aaleyah moves the crown to sit next to her bracelets on the table and moves to the left of the bed before turning over to face away. Tomorrow, she promises herself. Tomorrow she will be strong. Just for this night, with the crescent moon in the sky she will allow herself to seek comfort.
Sliding into the bed beside her he wraps his arms around her, and pulls her to rest her back against his chest. Squeezing his hands tightly she realizes she was shivering, and she quickly turns to hide her face in his chest. Hiding there she thinks of her dream. It is not over, she may have woken up; but everything in the dream came true. If she makes mistakes in the future destruction like that will only happen again. Biting the inside of her cheek, what would her mother tell her? Shaking her head, thoughts like these are not helpful. It matters not what her family would say, they are not here to say it. The reason she does not receive comfort from her mother, or teasing and jokes from her brothers, and the laughter from her sisters is because she failed all those Blue moons ago. She must not fail again. The stone, what a poisonous miracle. The past events were due to man's greed. This time she will be smarter. This time she will not fail. She will protect everyone. But if she cannot, she will ensure she will be the last soul to deal with this.
Resting his chin atop her head, "Leyah," it is the first he has spoken in the hour they have been lying in bed. "Whatever you ask for I will grant it. Just promise me you will not leave," he says as if he was reading her mind. As if he knew the nature of her thoughts.
Taking his hand she tries to lift it, and only after he realizes her intentions does he allow her to pull his hand up towards her face. Kissing his knuckle, "I have made you worry. I apologize." Interlocking her fingers with his, "The kingdom relies on your family, thousands of people rely on the safety the royal family grants them. One wrong move is a potential death." Staring at their interlocked hands, "What I wish for you must never grant."
"The next time you feel tired and wish to rest like this," his voice takes a serious tone, some anger appears, "tell me to come with you. Do not be alone."
Closing her eyes, his words leave her eyes watering.
"Do you understand?" he asks sternly.
"I am sorry."
"You never need to apologize to me. I should be sorry for leaving you alone."
"It was not my intention to worry you. I did not know I was still so sensitive," she says bitterly.
"Is that what you did wrong? Feel pain for your family? The next time you wish to blame and punish yourself for anything, it is best you punish me instead. I am the one who has wronged you the most Leyah. If instead of crying you wish to feel anger, then vent your anger onto me. And if you feel hatred, give your hatred to me. Do not swallow them down and hold them in that beautiful soul of yours."
Not knowing if she should laugh or cry at his words she instead closes her eyes. Hatred, how can she hate Saan? Anger, how can she give her anger to him?
Aaleyah can feel herself drifting off, and in a haze or dream she feels Saan kiss the side of her head and say, "I vow, with Lord of the Heavens as my witness, that I will never let you experience pain again. The Apophis himself must kill me before he can ever touch you again."
After Hestia left the Queen's chambers for a second time she made her way to the medicinal gardens. To appease Hammun, she allows Musinm to follow closely behind her, she can feel him go left when she goes left. His shadow stops when she stops walking. An incessant shadow she can not avoid, it is only for Hammun that she does not complain. Musinm's footsteps are not loud per say, she hears nothing over her own steps. Her bracelets dangle against each other with every step she takes. The shimmering pieces of jewelry on her azure blue dress. Every step she takes is clinking down the hall.
When she first came to the palace it was Aaleyah who spent moons teaching her how to walk on smooth stone without shoes. Which is why she much prefers running, when she runs she does not have to feel that hard cold material under her feet for too long. In Nevalvn one always wore shoes, even in your own home. That is the beauty of outdoor shoes, and indoor shoes. Hammun was the first to notice her discomfort, or maybe reluctance is the better term; for her to go shoeless. He gave her a secret. As long as her dresses flow to the floor covering her feet, she can wear sandals made of elephant leather, they can keep the bottom of her feet free from the cruel discomfort the floor grants. The downside is when she wears them she has to be careful not to make sounds. She chooses to cover the sound of shoes up with her jewelry, but Musinm, as young as he is, has great eyes. Which is why the walk to the gardens is a slow one. Regardless, as long as her feet are safe she has no qualms of the speed. But, she is bored.
"Musinm?"
"Yes princess?"
Pouting her lips she twirls a finger around the loose curl of her brown hair, "Must you walk behind me? I feel rather alone walking by myself." she chances a glance at the guard behind her.
Musinm is young, his face still holds onto his baby fat, his cheeks very pinchable. His eyes are so different from the guards throughout the palace. Most of the guards are trained to keep stoic expressions, their eyes revealing nothing of their thoughts inside. However, not Musinm. No, this adorable one is never able to hide his shock. Hestia tries to recall his age, was he one Blue moon from adulthood? So one Red and eight Blue moons? Either way he is older than her for she just reached adulthood 9 moons ago.
Musinm lifts his head and walks at her pace at her side in silence. Hestia notices the guard's slight movement and Musinm moves back to walk behind her.
Playing with the long loose sleeve of her dress, "You will not walk with me?"
"It is not proper for me to walk at the side of the princess," Musinm explains.
Tsking her tongue, "I see. It seems that this princess has made a mistake, and must require you to teach me the proper way." she says with a sense of guilt. There are so many rules in the palace, she has forgotten who is and isn't allowed to walk beside her. Being a princess makes it so hard for her to have company.
"This one has insulted the princes, and deserves punishment."
Grinning, she swings the long sleeve of her dress the sound of her bracelets dangle with every movement, "Alright. I punish you to speak to me. You must answer all my questions, and ask me questions as well." Hearing silence she adds, "You do know how to have a conversation correct?" she chides with a smile.
"Yes princess," he answers respectfully. A tone that all the guards grant her when she peaks to them. So full of respect, but so obvious that they have no plans on doing what she has asked.
Continuing to walk, Musinm is young though, it may still be possible to mold him the way she likes. "Then ask me something," she orders, her voice filled with excitement.
They reach the gardens and Musinm moves to open the door for her. Following in behind her his eyes scan their surroundings carefully before his eyes zone back on her as she picks up a pair of scissors and a basket.
Placing the green leaves she cuts in the basket, "With the time you are taking it must be a good question," she teases.
"What question would you like me to ask Princess?"
The excitement fades from her eyes and she slams the basket onto the ground. When Hammun first told Hestia that she needed to have a guard he chose some scary looking man she does not recall the name of. He never spoke to her, and did not follow her orders. She would tell him to walk with her, he wouldn't. She would talk to him, and his answers were always, 'Shall I ask Prince Hammun?' After complaining Hammun took her with him to choose a guard. When she saw the youthful expression of Musinm, she excitedly chose him. Who knew that he would be just as boring as the rest? "Ask me questions you would ask a friend."
"I have no friends princess."
Assuming him joking she glares at him, but his innocent face makes her feel guilty for bringing it up. Picking up her basket she turns away from him, "Alright, then as a royal palace guard please tell me about yourself."
Following behind her, "My name is Musinm. Musinm has been training in the military my entire life. Musinm grew up in the training camps. Musinm capable in multiple forms of-"
Waving her hand tiredly to stop him, "Enough, I understand." The formal way of addressing himself is already annoying her. Smelling a plant she asks a different question, "How about your favorite food, or color?" she asks this time lowering her expectations. From the corner of her eye she can see Musinm sport a serious expression as if he is thinking long and hard for the correct answer.
"Princess Hestia, this one apologizes. Musinm insults you with my ignorance."
Groaning, "Musinm! Just answer the question!" she orders him. All she wishes is for someone to make light conversation with. Why is it so hard? How is it that she holds one of the most esteemed positions in her kingdom, yet there is still no way for her to get what she wants.
Musinm bows when he hears Hestia yell at him. "My apologies Princess. Musinms favorite color is," he pauses as if his brain needs time to think. "Orange?" he asks, then shaking his head he blurts out, "No blue, and red. Blue and red are my favorite colors."
Kneeling onto the ground not caring for the soil that will stain her dress she studies small leaves. "Blue and red?" Cutting a leaf, of course he will say his favorite colors are blue and red. Better yet, if she decided to ask every palace guard she sees what their favorite color is they will say the same. "We can pretend that is true. Your favorite food?"
Musinm helps Hestia off of the ground, his eyes darting to and fro, "Rice?" he says in a nervous tone. He gives the impression of a guilty criminal waiting for their punishment to be announced. He watches Hestia fill her basket with flowers and leaves, "Shall Musinm carry this for you princess?" he asks excitedly hoping to be of use.
Sighing Hestia hoists the basket on her hip and walks away. Hammun's guard is nothing more than an adorable child. "No thank you Musinm. I have collected all that I need and will brew a nice tea. Do you like tea?" she asks, having not learned her lesson from the previous questions.
Making her way to the pergola her dress is blown in the wind, the sound of hitting against each other is heard. Her brown hair blows covering her face from Musinm's view, which is why he does not see the soft smile on her face.
Placing everything from the basket onto the tablet she scans the ingredients for a Camellia Sinensis tea, or an Oolong tea. While the Camellia Sinensis tea will help greatly for antibacterial purposes, it will serve no purpose for pain. It will not aid the queen in getting a full night's sleep.
Staring at the ingredients on the table her nerves return, if the queen does not heal she can barely even imagine the worst scenario. Playing with the palace guards will not be enough to bury her fears. Sitting down in the pergola she picks up the green leaves and twirls them in her fingers.
"Musinm does not like, or dislike tea," Musinm answers. Moments pass and when Princess Hestia says nothing, Musinm looks around nervous with her sudden silence.
"Is there something wrong Princess?" he asks, taking a step into the pergola and then thinking more, he takes the step out and waits.
"You have spent your life in military camps, have you ever been injured?" Hestia asks.
"Musinm has been injured. But Musimn assures you that Mus-"
"Enough!" Hestia can take no more. "Stop speaking so formaly. I grant you permission to address yourself normally!"
Musinm bows, "Apologies, princess." His eyes dart left and right before he speaks again, "I will do my job and keep you safe. You need not worry." he nervously answers.
Hestia swallows her annoyance. Musinm was never taught how to speak to royals, instead he spent his life learning not to speak to them. Similar to how she spent her life outside the life of a royal. They both have much to learn. Musinm is to be a silent shadow, and aid so she can never experience danger.
But Hestia refuses to allow him to practice blending in the shadows. Maybe it would be easier for him to guard her fiance, or High Prince Saan. With them he would only need to rely on his skills, never his social abilities.
Musinm's words break her from her thoughts,. "My biggest injury happened when I was sent to guard the east border."
"The physician there, what did he give you for your wounds?" Hestia no longer feels excitement talking to him. She silently prays that he will not say something foolish like water. Then again with his favorite meal being rice, and his favorite colors being the kingdom's colors she can only hope that he does not know the answer she wants, and instead will just tell the truth.
The barked questions seem to grant Musinm with some relief. He knows how to act when a royal is like this. "There was a male physician from the Nevalvn kingdom,"
Hearing this her eyes brighten, and she sits taller in her chair only to sink at his next words.
"I apologize, I did not focus on what he gave me."
Deflating like a flower with no sunlight, "Think Musinm. Do not stop to apologize to me. Tell me everything that happened. If you do not know the name of what you were given, describe it." she orders him finally feeling irritated with his numerous apologies. When she left her home kingdom she did not gather all the knowledge that the physicians were teaching her. Therefore she forgets, and lacks information about some plants, and their medical properties. Hearing that Musinm's physician was from her kingdom she is filled with hope. Taking a breath she rubs her hand over her chest, and in a soothing voice, "Please," She adds, after all, it is not his fault if he does not remember, yelling at him will not help his memory either. Twirling one of the bracelets on her wrist she thinks in advance, if she cannot make tea to help the queen sleep, it is better to just make tea to help her heal. She can fight the bacteria and sleep afterwards.
"The physician gave me tea to drink, it was a slight yellow colour and I could taste ginger. There was a paper holding a fine yellow powder that he made the tea with. He had another physician with him, and I remember them talking about lemon, and ginger. They also said something else but I did not understand it. I believe it was bloodwit?" Musinm thinks deeply trying his best to remember and appease the princess. "Or bloodwhim? I only remember the first word was blood. I apologize for not knowing more Princess."
Hestia is too deep in thought to care about Musinm apologizing once again. Blood, she repeats the word over and over in her mind. A plant with the word blood in it, usually used for the injuries, it is on the tip of her tongue. She has heard of this before. Rubbing her hand over her chest she calms herself and tries to focus. Bloodwan? No, a yellow color? "What were your symptoms?"
"The arrow was lodged into my body, and needed to be taken out. I had broken it and pulling it out took more work than normal. I was unable to hold down food and everything I swallowed came back up, after drinking this tea I was able to hold food down, and felt less dizzy."
Hestia hums. Yellow color, he was in pain, liquid was mixed with ginger. The ginger aided with the vomiting and dizziness, she dismisses those symptoms and focuses on pain. Turning to the plants to the left of her, she scans the numerous medicinal plants. He said the tea was yellow, so her eyes scan the plants with yellow flowers first. However, the tea being yellow doesn't mean that the plant is yellow, then her eyes fall on a spike stalk. Its flowers are white but seeing it she remembers the name, "Bloodwort!" turning to Musinm a wide grin on her face. "The physician gave you curcumin." Racing towards the stalk, "Musinm, prepare the water!" she orders.