System: [New Mission: Take Celia on a Casual Date. Make Her Laugh at Least Once.] Reward: +50 Charm, "Unexpectedly Smooth" Title Penalty: Pants-Zipper Malfunction Event (Probability: 74%)]
I stared at the mission notification like it had just called my mom ugly.
"Take Celia on a date? A casual date? That's like saying 'go tame a dragon with a paperclip and blindfold.'"
Luna leaned on the couch, grinning. "You did serve her parfaits in a maid outfit. This is practically a follow-up."
Cynthia sipped her bubble tea. "Also, she DM'd you on Insta. With a smile emoji."
"Wait, Celia uses emojis?"
"She uses them strategically." Cynthia gave me a serious nod. "You are officially in danger."
After twenty minutes of panic-closet wardrobe changes, I settled on a white shirt, denim jacket, and jeans. I looked like the protagonist of a slice-of-life anime.
System: [Outfit Evaluation: Passable. Chance of Charm Success: 22%. Add Sunglasses? Y/N]
I clicked NO.
System: [Too late. Sunglasses equipped.]
I met Celia at the city plaza. She stood under a blooming cherry blossom tree in a casual lavender dress, looking less like a student and more like the thumbnail of a dating sim game.
"You're late."
"I was… uh, wrestling with wardrobe malfunctions. Not the fun kind."
Her lips twitched. Almost a smile. Progress?
We ended up at a street fair.
"Pick something," she said.
"Cotton candy?"
She blinked. "Are you five?"
"...Yes?"
Tiny smile. We were on a roll.
Next up: goldfish scooping. I failed miserably.
"I've never seen anyone miss the water entirely," she deadpanned.
"I like to challenge physics."
By the time we got to the soft-serve stand, she was outright chuckling.
System: [Objective Update: Celia Laughed – BONUS ACHIEVED] Reward: +25 Charm, Bonus Title: "Ice Queen Warmer"]
Then it happened.
I dropped my cone. Right on her foot.
The silence could've been sliced with a butter knife.
System: [Pants-Zipper Malfunction Probability: 100%. Event Triggered.]
A gust of wind, a betrayal of zippers, and I became the tragic protagonist of a slapstick rom-com.
Celia blinked.
Then burst into laughter.
Full. On. Laughter.
"You're actually hopeless."
I died right there and ascended.
Later, we sat on a bench under the stars.
"I had fun," she said, voice softer than usual.
"Even with my wardrobe failures?"
"Especially because of them."
My heart did a weird little somersault.
System: [Mini-Mission: Hold Her Hand. Success Chance: 57%. Failure Penalty: Death by Embarrassment]
I reached.
She didn't pull away.
Mission clear.
Back home, Cynthia, Luna, and Nari were waiting like judgmental aunts.
"Well?"
"Success. Minimal bleeding."
Akira tossed me a can of soda. "You're growing, man."
System: [New Event: Harem Tension Level Rising – Initiating Next Chaos Phase Soon]
"Wait, what?!"
System: [Hint: Hot Springs Arc Approaching. Prepare Your Towel Inventory.]
I choked on my soda.