System: [New Mission: Win A Home-Cooked Meal Contest With At Least 3 Female Participants Judging You] Reward: Ultra Rare Skill "Culinary Charisma Lv1" Penalty: "You Burned The Rice!" Debuff – All Food Turns Out Terrible For 24 Hours]
Me: "...Can I just order takeout?"
System: [No. That would be cheating. Obviously.]
Akira rubbed his hands together like a mad scientist. "Cooking contest?! I've been preparing for this day. My omelette technique is ranked top 500 on Reddit!"
"Why does Reddit rank omelettes?" I muttered.
He ignored me.
Cynthia walked in, arms crossed. "If you think I'll eat anything you cook without a hazmat suit, you're delusional."
"Oh please," Nari chimed in. "He burned toast last week and tried to blame it on 'a solar flare.'"
"That was plausible!" I argued.
Thirty minutes later, I stood in the kitchen, apron tied awkwardly, ingredients scattered around me like a battlefield.
I had one goal: not to die.
Luna, ever the observer, sat at the kitchen island, watching with an amused smirk. "You know this could be solved if you just asked one of us to help you."
"I would, but then I don't get the reward!" I whispered back, cracking an egg with far too much force. Half the shell joined the yolk.
[Warning: Shell Count Increasing. Do Not Feed This To Humans.]
I panicked and quickly scooped it out with a spoon… and flung it straight at Cynthia.
She didn't flinch. "You have two minutes before I consider murder."
Akira leaned in. "So what are you making, bro?"
"Spaghetti carbonara," I said.
He squinted. "Why is there a pineapple?"
"I panicked."
Two hours of chaos, flour storms, and accidental cinnamon incidents later, I stood proudly with my final dish.
"Ladies and weird gentlemen," I announced, "presenting: Spaghetti Carbonara à la Ethan!"
The girls reluctantly gathered around.
Cynthia poked it with her fork like it might bite her.
Nari sniffed it. "Is that… lemon zest?"
Luna took a small bite, paused, and raised an eyebrow. "It's… actually edible?"
Akira: "High praise from her."
The system pinged.
**[Judging In Progress... Calculating Results...] Final Verdict: You Pass! Barely.]
[Reward Unlocked: Culinary Charisma Lv1 – Your Cooking Makes You 10% More Attractive Temporarily. Enjoy The Boost, Hot Stuff!]
Cynthia folded her arms. "Fine. I'll admit, I've had worse."
Nari gave me a thumbs up. "Next time, try not to set anything on fire."
Luna smirked. "Well, if he cooks again, I might just watch. For science."
I was about to bask in the win… when the stove exploded behind me.