"Every night, you're out here hopping across rooftops, duking it out with criminals who never seem to run out. Wouldn't it be a hell of a lot more fun to wrestle with supermodels in a billion-dollar mansion?"
"And what's with that mask? Seriously. Leaving your chin exposed like that… What, are you trying to let the cops know you're definitely white?"
Batman was still processing the shock of having his identity called out when the masked young man in front of him launched into a stream of insults.
Years of training in the East had taught Bruce many things, including a term that now came to mind—"polite at first, then disrespectful."
And this punk? He was the perfect embodiment of it.
Just moments ago, he was screaming in terror. Now? He was running his mouth without a care in the world.
Is this a trap?
Batman's eyes narrowed as he surveyed the surroundings. Joker was the obvious suspect. Was this lunatic just a pawn? A distraction?
He engaged his cowl's sensors, scanning for any immediate threats. Nothing. No explosives, no ambush. Just this aggravating kid.
"Who are you?" Batman's voice was low and commanding. "What are you talking about?"
Leo flashed a smug grin beneath his mask. He was dying to drop a twisted joke about six legs going in and two coming out, but even he knew that wasn't the smartest play.
Batman was technically a good guy. No need to push him too far.
"Doesn't matter if you admit it or not," Leo shrugged. "It's not like we're gonna meet again."
He wriggled slightly within the net. "But hey, how about a little game? You grant me one wish, and I'll answer one question. I know a lot more than you think."
Batman hesitated. There was no way this punk actually knew anything of value… right?
"Talk."
He took the bait! Leo's spirits soared. He was about to pull off something even Joker hadn't done—he was going to make Batman play along with his nonsense.
"Okay, okay! I'm ready!"
Excitement surged, and in his eagerness, Leo blurted out, "Oh! Oh! Let me ask you—wait, no, wrong line! Start over!"
Batman didn't move. Only the faintest twitch of his brow betrayed his growing irritation.
Leo coughed, regaining his composure.
"Ahem. My wish is simple. I want to see you do the classic, iconic Batman entrance line."
"What?"
"You know the one! Don't play dumb, little Batsy!" Leo cackled like a fox that just stole a chicken. "Need a reminder? Fine! Here goes…"
With as much gusto as a man trapped in a net could muster, he bellowed,
"I am vengeance! I am the night! I am Batman!"
If he weren't restrained, he would've struck the most dramatic pose possible.
The result was instant. Batman's breathing subtly changed. A tightness formed in his jaw.
He was embarrassed.
Leo felt it. And it was glorious.
Oh my god, I broke Batman.
He could almost hear Joker's laughter in the distance, celebrating this monumental achievement. Even the stoic Dark Knight was human, after all.
But the moment was short-lived.
With a sudden burst of speed, Batman lunged, grabbing Leo's mask.
"Ah!?"
Leo instinctively gripped the edges of his headgear, preventing it from being yanked away.
"Oh, so that's how we're playing, huh?" Leo grumbled. But before he could react further, Batman's real goal became clear.
SWOOSH!
In one swift motion, Batman snatched the fake AK-47 from Leo's grasp.
Damn it! Leo winced. The collectible! A Joker-certified, certified piece of villain memorabilia! Gone!
"You're unarmed now. Talk." Batman's voice was colder than ever.
But Leo wasn't about to back down. He adjusted his position, lounging dramatically in the net like it was a hammock.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk… No can do. We had a deal, remember? One wish for one answer."
He smiled wickedly. "Don't you want to know who really killed your parents? Or Joker's true identity? Maybe uncover the grand conspiracy looming over Gotham? I know the answers… but everything has a price."
Batman leaned in closer, his glare unrelenting.
"I'm good at getting answers."
A wave of dread washed over Leo.
Suddenly, he had a vivid mental slideshow of all the things Batman could do. Interrogation techniques. Psychological pressure. Truth serums. Hell, even hypnotism!
Okay. Time to go.
"You're making a mistake, Batsy!" Leo hissed, like every good villain should. "Mark my words, you'll regret this decision. Take your unanswered questions to your grave!"
With a final dramatic flourish, he closed his eyes and focused on the traversal command.
Go, go, go!
----
"Master, be careful!" Alfred's voice crackled through the earpiece.
But Batman had already sprung back, cloak raised in case of any unexpected explosions. For a moment, he wondered if Leo was wired to detonate.
Nothing happened.
The alley remained silent.
Lowering his cape, Batman scanned the ground.
Leo was gone.
"What the…" Batman activated every sensor he had. Heat signatures. Optical scans. Sonar sweeps.
Nothing.
"A, check the surveillance feeds."
"No sign of him, Master. It's as if he vanished."
"The trackers I placed?"
"Signal lost. Instantly."
Batman's brow furrowed. Teleportation? Magic?
He crouched, examining the ground. A faint disturbance in the dust showed the last position Leo had occupied.
"He ran. Then stumbled… adjusted his position… and…"
Batman's eyes narrowed.
"Vanished."
"Master," Alfred interrupted. "Joker has been spotted at another bank. He's taken a substantial amount from the vault."
"Expected. This was just a distraction."
But even so, this distraction had been far too effective.
"Buy the entire alley," Batman ordered. "Reinforce it. Turn it into a steel cage."
"You think he'll come back?"
"I don't know." Batman's voice was grim. "But in Gotham, it's best to prepare for the impossible."
Without another word, he activated the Batmobile's signal and took off into the night.
And in the back of his mind, one nagging question remained.
Who the hell was that guy?
---
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