"Naruto, why do you look so down?"
As Menma and Naruto returned home that evening, Jiraiya was already waiting for them inside. After all, it was the twins' first day at the Academy. Jiraiya had even left work early—telling the Third Hokage he had "important guardian duties." In a flash, he was gone.
A worm at work, a dragon at clock-out.
But now, seeing Naruto with his head low and a pout on his face, Jiraiya couldn't help but be curious. By all logic, Naruto should've been excited after his first day. Had something happened? Had someone bullied him? That couldn't be—Menma would never allow it.
Naruto lowered his head even further at the question.
Jiraiya turned his gaze to Menma. Since Naruto wasn't talking, the older twin could at least explain.
Menma noticed the look, but instead of answering, said casually, "I'm kinda thirsty."
Jiraiya: "…"
He rolled his eyes and shuffled to the fridge, grabbing three cold drinks and setting them on the table.
Menma picked up one, took a sip, and nodded in approval. Nice and chilled.
"This idiot," Menma finally said, "got punished to stand on the first day of school."
"It's all Sasuke's fault!" Naruto immediately defended himself. "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have been punished!"
"Ohh…" Jiraiya finally understood. He opened his bottle, downing a good amount in one go. "Naruto, that's nothing! You know, back when I was in school—"
Cue Jiraiya's Grand Tales™.
He began rambling about his "glorious" childhood: skipping class, peeking at girls, pulling pranks, and other absolutely horrible examples.
Menma just stared at him blankly.
I should really Rasengan him. These are not life lessons.
Even worse, Naruto looked completely enthralled.
Once Jiraiya finally stopped talking, Menma calmly said, "Naruto, if you ever try to be like him, I'll break your legs."
Naruto's knees buckled. "Brother, I would never! Never ever!"
He turned to Jiraiya with a betrayed glare. "Master, don't teach me bad things. And keep your distance from me!"
Jiraiya: "…"
Oof. The betrayal. I raised you better than this…
So what if you break a leg? Tsunade can fix it. Easy.
If Naruto knew what Jiraiya was thinking, he'd have moved out that night.
Meanwhile, in the Uchiha Clan Residence:
"Sasuke, what's wrong? Didn't you enjoy your first day at school?"
Izumi smiled softly, brushing Sasuke's hair as she spoke.
Ever since confirming her relationship with Itachi, she'd been spending more time with the family—and that included getting close to Sasuke.
"I got punished to stand…" Sasuke muttered, sulking. "On the very first day."
"Oh?" Izumi tilted her head, amused. "And why's that?"
"It was Naruto's fault!" Sasuke huffed. "He got me involved! And then… his brother, Menma—he kicked me into a wall!"
Itachi: "…"
Izumi: "…"
You've gotta be kidding me…
"Itachi!" Sasuke turned toward his brother dramatically. "You have to avenge me!"
Itachi blinked. "If someone bullies you… fight back."
"…So you'll help?"
"Depends. Who hit you?"
"Menma Uzumaki."
Itachi: "…"
Izumi: "…"
Seriously, again?
He bullies my little brother now too?! That's it.
Itachi stood up. "Come on. Let's go settle this."
Finally! Sasuke leapt up like a spring-loaded kunai. "I'm coming too!"
Izumi followed as well—she figured it'd be fun to watch.
But just as the trio was about to leave—
"Where are you three off to this late?" asked a calm voice.
Fugaku Uchiha, the clan head and father, appeared in the hallway.
"Sasuke wants to visit Naruto," Itachi answered without missing a beat. "We're going with him."
"Oh?" Fugaku blinked, then relaxed. "In that case, send my regards to Lord Jiraiya."
"Understood."
Sasuke waved goodbye, anxious to get out before his dad changed his mind. Izumi bowed politely and followed after them.
Fugaku watched the three go, smiling faintly. Then he sighed.
The clan's tensions with the village are less than before… but they still linger. If only the Fourth Hokage hadn't died so young…
Soon, the three arrived outside the twins' new home.
Sasuke stared, swallowing hard. It was like a mansion—modern, sleek, with a garden filled with blooming trees and colorful flowers. There were even outdoor tables and lanterns.
All this was thanks to Menma's writing.
After his novels exploded in popularity, Menma released book after book. Jiraiya even began to suspect the kid was possessed by a ghost writer—or some kind of genius monster.
Menma just smiled and said: "I didn't write them. I copied them."
Jiraiya nearly choked. Copy what?! From where?!
Regardless, the royalties alone let the twins live comfortably. For the first time, they weren't just surviving—they were thriving.
"Naruto! Come out!" Sasuke yelled toward the villa.
A moment later, Naruto opened the door and grinned. "Pillar! Why didn't you say you were coming?"
He ran over happily.
Sasuke folded his arms. "Didn't I just say it now?"
Naruto squinted. "What's with the look, Pillar?"
"Idiot."
"Pillar, you bastard."
"Idiot."
"Pillar, you—"
The bickering began immediately, like clockwork.
Meanwhile, Itachi and Izumi simply shared a look and walked past the chaos into the house.
Inside, they were greeted by Jiraiya.
"Master Jiraiya," Itachi and Izumi greeted politely.
"Welcome," Jiraiya smiled. Then paused, blinking. "Wait a minute. I'm the master here. Where's my greeting?"
Menma appeared from the hallway, crossing his arms. "More importantly, Master, this is the 29th month you've forgotten to pay for your food."
"…29?" Jiraiya choked.
"Twenty. Nine," Menma repeated with a deadpan face. "Since my first book sold, you haven't paid once."
Jiraiya scratched his head with a shameless grin. "Relax! I'll pay you back as soon as I finish a mission. I've got one coming up, for sure!"
"That's what you said the last twenty-eight times."
Menma sighed and turned to Itachi and Izumi. "You two want something to drink?"
"Sure," Itachi nodded.
"I'll get it!" Jiraiya said quickly, fleeing to the kitchen.
Menma stared after him, expression blank.
Cheap dad… if I weren't earning, we'd be living off cup noodles by now.
(End Of Chapter)
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