Noah wanted to go home.
Not metaphorically.
Not emotionally.
He wanted to physically open a glowing portal, jump through it, land in his old apartment, and burrito himself in a blanket with a tub of ice cream and not think about being combo-slammed by a medieval knight in front of royalty-funded maids.
He was halfway to doing just that — okay, fine, he was sulking away toward his new apartment in this place, at least he would get some peace of mind there.
A bubble floated in front of his face.
A single, shiny, almost mocking bubble.
Noah squinted at it. It shimmered in the sunlight like it was dipped in glitter and smugness.
It floated calmly, defying gravity, weather, and his personal space.
There was a brief second of silence where his brain tried to register what it was —
And then it popped.
SPLASH.
A full-blown water balloon of doom exploded in his face.
Noah let out a strangled yell as water burst all over him, soaking his shirt, hair, and most importantly — his pride, at least what was left of it.
The force knocked him backward like the water had something to prove. He staggered, slipped, and landed flat on his back with a soggy thud.
"WHAT IN THE HELL..."
He gasped and sputtered, blinking water out of his eyes, and found himself staring at armored boots.
Not just any boots.
Captain Garrick's boots.
And beside them... smaller, sleeker shoes. They were made of black lceather.
Noah's eyes slowly climbed upward.
A robe. Black with glowing blue trim. Sleek design. Kind of stylish, actually. Then, silver hair.
Then her eyes.
Glowing purple, full of amusement.
It was Mira — the mage from yesterday.
Noah, still flat on the ground, immediately became very aware of all the dumb things he'd said to her.
That Pokémon joke echoed in his soul like a war crime. He felt the sheer force of secondhand embarrassment choke him.
Mira smiled down at him like she'd just rung the world's most polite doorbell with her spell.
"Oops," she said, tone as innocent as a toddler who'd just thrown a brick through a window. "I may have used a bit too much water pressure."
"You tried to drown me with a bubble."
"It was a splash enchantment," she corrected gently. "To test your mana resistance."
"Test me with a pop quiz, not a water cannon!"
She giggled.
GIGGLED.
Captain Garrick, of course, stood there trying so hard not to laugh.
The man had been a stoic wall during sword practice, but the moment Noah got baptized by Bubble Beam, his beard twitched.
"I had to test something," Mira added as she reached out a hand to help him up. "Sorry for the trouble."
Noah blinked, hesitated, and then took it. Her grip was cool but firm, like she regularly shook hands after throwing people into magical disasters.
As she pulled him up, she gave him a softer look. "Don't worry, Hero. Magic's not so scary when you get the hang of it."
Noah squinted at her. "Do all magic teachers start with aquatic assault?"
She just smiled. "Only the fun ones."
Noah blinked water out of his eyes as he was helped upright.
He wasn't even mad anymore — just spiritually tired.
If it wasn't Captain Garrick launching him like a meatball in a dodgeball tournament, now it was this.
He looked up, still dazed, and met the glowing violet eyes of the robed woman standing next to him.
Garrick, ever the gentleman, made a motion to interfere, but Mira shot him a glance and he backed off like someone who'd learned the hard way once.
"Oh, don't worry, Captain," she said sweetly, "I won't break him. Just... soften the edges a little."
That didn't help Noah's anxiety at all.
"Did you really just wake me up with a water balloon?" Noah muttered, still dripping from the surprise aquatic assault.
"It was a bubble," she corrected, sounding mildly offended. "A bubble laced with a minor kinetic enchantment and just a splash of elemental resonance. Very beginner-friendly."
"I felt like Poseidon slapped me in the mouth."
She giggled again… he didn't know whether you feel blessed or terrified.
"I just wanted to test your mana resistance," she said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You don't have any."
"Great," he said. "No armor, no magic resistance, and somehow I still haven't unlocked the 'Please Take Me Home' spell."
Garrick coughed into his fist behind them like he was trying not to laugh.
'Traitor.'
Mira led him a few feet away to a smooth stone slab, positioned beneath a shade tree.
It looked like the kind of place wise wizards taught chosen ones the meaning of power. Or where students learned what third-degree magical burns felt like. Jury was still out.
"Let's begin with the basics," Mira said, motioning for him to sit.
"Let me guess," Noah said, plopping down. "Magic exists in everything, it's a flow of energy, blah blah, don't piss off the elements or you'll explode?"
She paused, blinked, then smiled even wider.
"Not bad. Did you read the Universal Arcane Primer?"
"I watched Harry Potter. And got trauma-baptized by a toothbrush this morning."
She laughed, covering her mouth like a noble lady at tea. "Alright then. Here's the short version — yes, magic exists everywhere. It's in the air, the ground, even your body. The trick is learning to call it, channel it, and use it without turning yourself into a smoking crater."
Noah looked down at his hands. "And I assume I'm expected to be good at this?"
"No," she said. "You're expected to survive it. But if you get good, that's a bonus."
That felt... not great.
She began to draw simple shapes in the air — glyphs, symbols, runes — all glowing faintly blue as she spoke. "Most people rely on spells memorized through these runes. But you, dear hero, are not most people."
"Thanks," he said. "I feel incredibly special."
She ignored his sarcasm and pointed to his chest. "Open your Status Panel."