My greatest wish was to die and be free.
Free from this hell called home.
Free from this devil called father.
Free from everything that has to do with my ill fate.
I sighed.
The room was dark, so dark that I could not even see my own hands.
It was so dark... Not even prisoners would agree to come to a place like this. Yet.
I was forced... No, I was made to live here.
For the past seven years, I have been living in constant fear. Being scared of my father is the worst feeling I ever had and he made it so because he derived so much joy in it.
The look on my face each time I see him, the expression on my face every time he touches me. The cries of help escaping my throat... The curses I mutter each time he does it with me.
All of these... They gladdened his heart. Made him excited and made him feel accomplished. He loves it. Loves to abuse me, beat me, make me wish I was dead, and he's never tired of it.
I've had enough of it but there is nothing I can do. I wish I could escape... Somehow. But unfortunately, it is not possible. No one can help me.
No one knew that I was still alive.
He told them that I was already dead... I died to an illness but it was a fat lie. He lies to them so that no one would come for me... So that no one will ask of me.
I am left alone. Abandoned and rejected even by the heavens. I am left to suffer and die alone, die a lonely, painful, and shameful death.
I sighed again. Not from the pain but from exhaustion. I was already tired of everything... Tired of living.
Suddenly, I began to hear footsteps, approaching my door.
My heart skipped. The man I dreaded was coming again.
The footsteps stopped at my door and it was followed by the sounds of the door unlocking. Soon, the door opened and he walked in carrying a lamp.
The moment he walked in, the rats in the room all ran away, they were licking the wounds on my foot. I frowned immediately — he had chased my companions away. They were the only friends I had — rats, lizards, roaches, they were the only ones visiting me.
"You are already awake," he said, bringing the lamp close to my face. "Get up you bastard!"
"Argh~!" I grunted as he made me sit up.
My entire body ached from all the assaults — My face from the countless slaps and blows, my back and arms from the countless whipping, and my buttocks from the constant drilling. Every of these pain reminded me of how much hatred I have for him.
"Guess what?" He asked me.
I couldn't see his full expression but I knew he was smiling happily. This could mean that he has an awful surprise for me.
"I have a package for you," he said and dragged me up. "You will be coming with me."
"To—to where?" I stuttered.
Last time I remembered, it's been four years since I last saw the sun and what the outside world looked like.
"Huh? Do you dare ask me questions?" He asked me and gave me a slap on the face. "This is to remind you that you are never to ask me questions unless I give the order to!"
With that, he picked up the lamp and when he dragged me out of the place, he threw off the lamp. Of course, my hands and feet were thoroughly tied — I couldn't escape even if I wanted to.
The moment I stepped outside the door, the sun hit me so bad that I was forced to step back into the room, because my legs were tied, my movement was hindered and I ended up falling to the ground.
"What the heck is wrong with you?" He yelled, glaring at me.
I looked up and glanced at him. For the first time in four years, I finally saw what my father now looked like.
The last time I saw him, he was looking healthier, handsome, and like someone still with his complete senses but now...
Right now, he looked unfed with white hair covering almost part of his head... And, he definitely looked like someone whose nuts has been removed.
"You better stand up and move!" He ordered me, grabbing me forcefully and pulling up once more.
I closed my eyes as the rays hit me again. It took some time before my eyes finally adjusted to the sun light but the hotness of the sun on my skin was something I still could not put up with.
The clothes I wore was worn-out, barely covering my body, especially my private areas. I felt like a vampire being placed close to the fire.
"Hey, walk fast!" He grunted.
To keep up with him, I had to jog... Still I stumbled a few more times, falling to the ground and being hit with anything close to his reach.
Finally, we reached a place.
A bathroom.
"Get in and wash your damn body, you smell like shit," he said to me. "And if you don't do it, I'll tattoo your body with scars."
Of course, I'd smell. I haven't had a bath in four years now.
"My arms and feet are tied," I mumbled.
"You think you'd be able to do escape once I untie you, right?" He mumbled. "You can't leave here, it's security tight."
I didn't talk, I didn't know what to.
I watched him untie me. I was so weak, so exhausted to do anything. Even though I wanted to escape so badly, I couldn't because my legs... Not just my legs — every part of my body would fail me definitely.
I tried to walk my way into the bathroom but my legs failed me and I ended up falling to the ground. Left with no choice, I crawled my way inside and managed to wash my body.
As I poured the hot water on my body, it burned so badly. Like the injuries were screaming to me to have pity on them. At last, I managed to wash off the dirty from my body and then I dried myself. I held the shower and managed to stand on my feet with its support and then he threw me some clothes.
"Put that on and come here!" He said.
After I was done putting on the clothes, I left the bathroom and he tied my hands again, but this time, he didn't tie my legs.
As he dragged me along, I noticed that the clothes felt tighter on my body. Even with my frail body, it felt uncomfortable to around in a so-tight outfit.
After walking for a while, we arrived in a room filled with so much people. They were eating, drinking, enjoying themselves... Some were having sex and they happened to be... Men. All men.
"Wh-what—"
Before I could say something, he pushed me inside and I fell to the ground.
The party stopped instantly with everyone's attention now on me.
Shame.
The word rang in my head as I lay on the ground, head lowered to the ground.
"Are you okay?" A male voice asked me and when I for ed myself to look up, a handsome young man was standing there, his hand outstretched towards me. "Come on, stand."
His voice was calm and I reluctantly stretched my hand to take his.
"Come here," he said as he helped me to my feet.
Could there still be kind people in this world? I could not help but ask myself as the young man pulled me up.
But what happened next shocked me beyond reasonable doubts.
He pushed me to a table and made me place my chest on it, my back to him.
He grabbed my ass and squeezed it, earning a loud scream from the others.
"Boys like you make my shaft hard as fuck," he bent towards me and whispered to my ears. His voice sending shivers down my spine. And I could feel his already hard shaft pressing against the hole of my buttocks.
"Let me go, please," I said but I doubt if he heard me as my voice was too low, coupled with the noisy environment.
I looked around in search of the devil that birthed me and there, I found him... Standing in a corner, having his own fun.
'What kind of life is this?'
I thought to myself.
I couldn't even call my kind of life a life. It was hell. I was living in hell, a hell created by the man I once called father for nine whole years.
I wished I could die... By any means at all.
I just wanted to die and escape this life.
And it happened.
I didn't know how but the last thing I remembered was everyone falling dead beside me, even the man called my father... Not a single one escaped. And at last, I saw myself falling to the ground as well.
The only memories I saw were the ones from when I became ten years.
The constant abuse, drilling, bitting, humiliation, pain, hatred.... Caused my family.