I got home, the weight of the evening still pressing down on me, and picked up my phone. Emily. I had completely forgotten about her. I hadn't updated her all through the day, and the missed calls, a dozen of them at least, were a stark reminder of my neglect.
Guilt washed over me, thick and heavy. I lay down on the bed, the cool sheets offering little solace. I dialed Emily's number, my hand trembling as I held the phone close to my ear.
"Ava! Where have you been? I've been calling you all day!" Her voice, usually light and cheerful, was laced with worry and concern.
Instead of replying to her rant, I just started sobbing.
"Ava, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice softening, her concern growing. "Calm down, tell me what happened."
I held the phone close to my mouth, my voice muffled by my tears. "I think I dumped Chris."
"What?! What do you mean you dumped him? Or did he dump you? Do you know what his father called me?" I asked, as if she were sitting beside me, sharing the burden of my anger and confusion.
"What?" she asked, her voice laced with curiosity and concern.
"He said...low standard," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "He looked at me head to toe and said I was low to Chris's standard, that I wasn't good enough for him. He said that."
"He didn't just look at you but also said that? He doesn't know you, Ava. Don't let it get to your head."
"But what did Chris say when he said that to you?" Emily asked, her concern growing.
"His father is in control," I said, my voice tight with frustration. "Though he stood up for me, but he lied to me, Emily. He said I was the first girl he brought to that place."
"Ava, calm down," Emily said, her voice soothing. "Only you know Chris better than I do, so if he really deserves your attitude, give it to him. But if he doesn't, don't stress the poor guy."
Her words were a comforting balm, a reminder that I was not alone, that I had someone to talk to, someone who understood.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm that raged within me.
****
I went to work the next day, but my best mood was still buried beneath a mountain of anger and confusion. The world seemed a bit too bright, a bit too loud, a bit too much. Everything felt out of place, like a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces.
I got home, the familiar routine a slight comfort in the face of the turmoil swirling within me. My apartment felt different, the air thick with the unresolved tension of the night before.
I entered my room and flipped the light switch, the sudden illumination casting a sharp shadow over Chris. He rushed to cover my mouth, his voice a whisper in my ear. "Your dad is asleep."
"What are you doing in my room?" I asked, removing his hand roughly, my heart pounding in my chest. "And with my diary?"
"I came to see you," he said, his eyes avoiding mine. The words were hollow, a poor excuse for his trespass.
"Did you read it?" I asked, collecting the diary from him, my hands shaking with anger. The words felt too personal, too intimate, to be shared with him now.
"I was just about to start reading it," he said, sitting back on the bed, his voice a little too casual, a little too indifferent.
"I didn't ask you to sit on my bed. Who gave you permission to be in here?" My anger was rising, the words bursting out of me like a dam bursting.
"The window," he replied, his voice laced with sarcasm.
"Oh, really?" I said, my anger boiling over. "You know what, Chris, I'm not cool with all this. And do you know what you have to do for me to be cool?"
"No," he replied, his voice soft, his eyes downcast. "I wish I knew what to do."
"You will take me to your house and introduce me to everyone as your girlfriend. Can you do that?" I asked, my voice firm, my demand clear.
"Ava, what are you asking for?" He stood up, walking towards me, his eyes filled with confusion and doubt. He looked small and uncertain, a far cry from the confident man I had fallen for.
"You saw my dad yesterday. Do you want the same thing to happen again?" I asked, my voice laced with a hint of despair. I couldn't bear the thought of him standing by and watching as his family disrespected me.
I sighed, the sound heavy with disappointment. "You know what, just get out."
"Ava, calm down. I'm just saying, whatever you face there will not my fault.
"It means you don't think I'm good enough for you, also. It means you actually agree with what your dad said, and you don't feel your family will approve of me," I said, my voice cold, my anger rising with each word.
"Just get out..." I turned my back to him, a wall of hurt and disappointment. "I'm done thinking I'm not good enough, because I actually am. I'm the best girlfriend you would probably ask for, Chris. I pay my own bills myself, my dad hasn't been all so lively since Mum left and hasn't been doing anything to bring income. I do everything, Chris, down to the food we eat without no one's support. You barely know what life out there truly is. Do you even work? You get an allowance, isn't it? So, I'm too good for you, Chris. And if you don't think so, you can use the window and let me be."
The words came out in a torrent, a raw expression of my anger and frustration.
"Ava, stop please, I'm not playing by what you are trying to do right now. I just don't want to rush things. We would meet them, but let time be the judge."
"Judge of what, Chris?" I asked, my voice filled with disappointment. "You know what? You're just scared. You're Daddy's boy, and you can't even fight for what you want."
I turned and left the room, my anger a burning ember in my chest.
"You know what, Ava, I don't care," he said, his voice cold, a cruel edge to his words. "You said you would be the best girlfriend I would ever have, but that's a lie. You're just a headache."
He turned and walked towards the window, his back to me, his indifference a slap in the face. I stood there, frozen, as the weight of his words crushed down on me.
Get out!!!!! I shouted