The air in the Grand Hall crackled with a sickly sweet energy, like overripe fruit about to burst.
Twisted runes glowed an unsettling crimson on the polished floor, pulsing in time with Lucas's chillingly calm breaths.
He stood at the center, a serene figure amidst the chaos he'd wrought, bathed in the unholy light of the Soul Devouring Array.
Strands of ethereal mist, remnants of Mia's potent spirit energy, swirled around him like reluctant moths drawn to a flame.
He looked like he was about to do a mukbang, except the menu was *souls*.
Ethan, lurking in the shadows with the stealth of a particularly caffeinated squirrel, felt a wave of nauseating dread wash over him.
This wasn't good.
Not good at *all*.
The system, bless its glitchy little heart, was frantically spitting out translations of the ancient array inscription.
"User, incoming critical information! Incoming...wait for it... incoming DOOM!" The robotic voice chirped with unsettling cheerfulness, completely oblivious to the impending apocalypse.
And then, a plot twist worthy of a daytime soap opera.
Phoebe, the seemingly meek and mild药堂执事, stepped into the light.
"Stop this madness, Lucas," she commanded, her voice ringing with unexpected power.
Her usually placid features were hardened with resolve, a flicker of ancient wisdom in her eyes.
"Phoebe? What… what are you doing?" Lucas stammered, his carefully constructed composure cracking.
Phoebe just smirked.
"Oh, honey, did you really think I wouldn't notice you messing with *my* stash?"
The system, never one to miss a dramatic beat, helpfully chimed in, "Alert! Alert! Detecting spiritual core division! Likelihood of a 'Buy One, Get One Free' immortal apothecary situation: 99.99%!"
Ethan blinked. "Wait, what?"
Turns out, Phoebe wasn't just Phoebe.
She was, according to the system's frantic babbling, a "medicinal soul fragment" of Mia.
Basically, Mia's backup drive.
This explained *so much*.
Seeing his chance, Ethan activated his most ridiculous skill yet: the Drunken Immortal's Shuffle.
He'd practiced it diligently, mostly by stumbling around his room after one too many fermented peaches.
Now, he weaved through the swirling energies of the array like a tipsy hummingbird, aiming for the epicenter where Lucas stood.
It *almost* worked.
The array, sensing an intruder, bucked like a wild bronco.
Ethan, still not entirely proficient in the fine art of drunken immortal navigation, got a face full of spiritual backlash.
He staggered, his vision blurring, and coughed up a shimmering rainbow of pure qi.
"Taste the rainbow," he choked out, the irony lost on absolutely no one.
Lucas, now fully encased in a newly formed body of pulsating shadow, let out a chilling laugh.
"Fool. You cannot stop me." The puppet strings, previously invisible, now materialized as thick, black tendrils of pure malice, writhing around him like hungry snakes.
The system, in a last-ditch effort to save its host from becoming puppet chow, activated the ultimate treasure: The Qiankun Tofu.
Yes, *tofu*.
But not just any tofu.
This was tofu infused with the power of a thousand exploding suns (metaphorically, of course.
Exploding tofu is generally frowned upon in culinary circles).
The humble block of bean curd expanded rapidly, transforming into a towering…defense turret?
Complete with what looked suspiciously like miniature tofu cannons.
Before Ethan could fully appreciate the absurdity of his situation, the array's backlash hit him again.
This time, darkness slammed down, stealing his sight.
Then, cool fingers brushed against his eyelids.
A soothing fragrance, familiar yet potent, filled his nostrils.
Phoebe.
She was smearing something powdery on his eyes, whispering ancient words that hummed with power.
The system screamed, "WARNING! Imminent spiritual overload! User's tofu turret is about to become…extra crispy!"
The darkness began to recede, replaced by a blinding white light.
He could feel the power surging through him, chaotic and untamed.
Phoebe's voice echoed in his ears, fading into a distant whisper.
"The seed…" she murmured, her touch leaving his skin tingling.
"The…what now?
" Ethan croaked, feeling a strange warmth blossoming in his chest, right under his sternum, like a…
He stopped.
He *felt* it.
The air crackled, thick with a grim anticipation.
Lucas, bathed in the sickly green glow of the activated "Soul Devouring Array," looked less like a benevolent Chief Disciple and more like a deranged puppeteer, his eyes gleaming with a predatory hunger.
Mia, frail and pale, was the marionette, her spiritual energy being forcibly drawn towards the swirling vortex at the center of the array.
It was a macabre ballet, a dance of power and despair.
Ethan, however, wasn't about to stand by and watch the show.
He'd seen enough puppet shows in his life, thank you very much.
And this one?
This one stank.
Badly.
Like a week-old fish left in the sun.
"You know," Ethan drawled, cracking his knuckles with a loud *pop*, "I always hated those 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' stories. Especially when someone else is doing the pulling – and not in a helpful way."
Lucas simply sneered, his voice dripping with condescension.
"Such insolence. You think you can stop me, you pathetic outcast?"
"Pathetic? Maybe. Outcast? Definitely. Stopped? We'll see about that," Ethan retorted, pulling out… a jade seal?
It glowed with a warm, earthy light, pulsating with a life force so potent it felt like the heart of a slumbering giant.
It was the "Mother of Myriad Medicines," the system's ultimate trump card, dropped with the subtlety of a drunken rhino crashing a tea party.
Lucas's eyes widened, a flicker of genuine surprise crossing his features.
"That… where did you get that?"
Ethan shrugged.
"Lucky draw? Found it in a cereal box? The details are fuzzy." He winked.
"The important thing is, it's got your name on it. Well, metaphorically. Unless your name happens to be 'Giant Face-Punching Seal of Doom'."
The seal hummed in Ethan's hand, reacting to his chaotic, system-infused Qi.
The air around him shimmered and twisted, the very laws of reality seeming to bend to his will.
The sickly green of the Soul Devouring Array was being pushed back, inch by agonizing inch, by a wave of pure, untamed life energy.
And then, the facade shattered.
Quite literally.
Lucas's carefully cultivated image of gentle composure crumbled, revealing what lay beneath – a grotesque puppet, its wooden joints creaking, its painted face frozen in a rictus of malicious glee.
The strings controlling it, shimmering threads of corrupted spiritual energy, snaked back into the shadows, leading… elsewhere.
Phoebe, the ever-observant apothecary, gasped.
"The real Lucas...he's not here! He's controlling this puppet remotely!"
"Well, isn't that just *peachy*," Ethan grumbled.
"So, it's a long-distance face-punching, then. Fine by me. I've got decent range."
He raised the jade seal, the Mother of Myriad Medicines pulsing with vibrant energy, a beacon of defiance in the suffocating gloom.
His grin widened, a manic glint in his eyes.
The absurd energies of the "Eccentric Immortal's Handbook" began to swirl around him, a chaotic symphony of mismatched techniques and improbable power.
This wasn't just a fight for Mia, or for Qing Yun.
It was a fight against the very fabric of this twisted, puppet-master-ridden world.
And Ethan, the unlikely hero, the system-fueled chaos incarnate, was ready to tear it all down.
**Ending Hook:** The jade seal pulsed with an almost sentient light, resonating with Ethan's chaotic energy.
The air crackled, the ground trembled.
The battle for Qing Yun, for Mia, for the very soul of the cultivating world, was about to begin.
But something told Ethan, this was just the first act.
Something much bigger, something much *stranger*, was lurking just behind the curtain.
And it was watching.