Bagley Iowa, November 25, 7:25 AM
58 Days Remain
Nana Mildred stood in front of the door. "No, I refuse. The only way you go to school in your condition is over my dead body."
"Nana, c'mon. Don't be like that. And when I'm all dressed up too!" She gestured around her crutch to her caterpillar jacket, sweatpants, Monty Mole socks, and a much worse for wear pair of Jordans. Shockingly, it's really hard to get blood out of shoes.
"Those are the same clothes you wear every day, and if I hear a single word about whatever obscure Nintendo character you are wearing socks of today, I will confiscate your crutches for a week."
Jojo silently rescinded her comment about how she thought Nana Mildred was always repping the big double M. "Okay, but aren't you the one who's telling me to go to school? I already missed the first day, it wouldn't be a great look to miss the second day as well."
"You can always get your class schedule and tour or what have you later, on a day that isn't less than a day after you got out of the hospital."
"Okay, but consider. It's a Monday, everyone feels like they just got out of the hospital."
"I'm still not letting you."
"Alright, fine then. I guess I'll just have to go out the window again." Jojo started crutching over to the open window, but as Nana Mildred moved to block that as well, Jojo dived for the door, moving as quickly as she could with one leg basically out of commission. Unfortunately for her, that was not very fast in the slightest, especially not faster than someone who only had to move about 2 feet back over to the door to block it.
Nana Mildred watched her granddaughter look completely shocked by this outcome, as if she expected to receive some sort of burst of speed the moment she decided to go for the door. She sighed, then said, "Are you really this committed to trying to go to school?"
"Well, when you say it like that I sound like a loser."
A long pause passed as Nana Mildred weighed her options. "Fine, but we're going to lay down the ground rules now. You are still allowed to ride the bus since I can't drive, but you may not go out for any reason, you may not speak to anyone not preapproved by me, and if you are in any danger, you are to immediately proceed to whichever one of these locations is closest." She handed Jojo 4 pieces of paper stapled together. "If you are not able to proceed to one of these locations, you are to call one of these numbers and confirm their identity with their associated code word. If these numbers are compromised, you call me, confirm my identity. If, for some completely unseen reason, you are unable to get me to you, then, and only then, will you be allowed to STALL the enemy stand user." Nana Mildred handed a stapled packet of numbers, almost as thick as a phone book, nearly making Jojo fall over with the weight.
"God, how many numbers is this? Did you just have this on hand?"
"695, and you had better go through every single one of them the moment you are able. In order. I don't need the dregs getting called out here because you were too lazy to make a couple calls."
"The dregs? What kind of friends do you have that you refer to some of them as 'dregs?'"
"Get your bag, get to walking, you'll be fine from here to the high school."
Jojo started thumbing through the packet, "Yeah yeah, I'm moving. Can not one of the people in this book drive me to school? I really woulda thought… Tony Spagoni? Ok, that can't be a real name." Jojo said, stopping halfway through putting on her Waddle Dee bag.
"Doesn't matter, in a perfect world you'll never find out. And in an imperfect one, any info you have puts you in more danger. Now, I love you, have a good first day at school, and come straight home." Nana Mildred pushed Jojo down the stairs to the small café running under their home.
"Hiya Ms. Mildred and Jojo!" A short purple haired girl with a nametag that read Zelda was working the counter, the café still empty in the early morning. Jojo waved back, which Nana Mildred quickly shut down.
"It's Jocelyn, and when are you going to get that ugly box dye out of your hair, you look like a queer!" Nana Mildred sniped, covering Jojo's ears as she whispered the last word.
"Love you too Ms. Mildred, and I'm glad to see that J is back on her feet. Lemme know if you want any of this." She gestured down, 50 50 on if she meant the pastries or her body.
"Jocelyn, that is what is going to happen if you drop out of high school, let me tell you right here and now." Nana Mildred leaned in close to whisper this, and yet still maintained the stage whisper, the woman working at the counter very clearly still able to hear the conversation.
"Nana, how would you feel if I took her up on that offer?" Jojo mostly jokingly asked, doing a half lean over her grandmother to look at the barista leaning on the counter through the window, holding up a chalk sign with a phone number.
"Quiet, you know she's only doing that because I said I'd gouge my eyes out the day she managed to 'rizz' someone under the age of 40." She put up air quotes on the rizz, seeming deflated at the very mention of the word.
"Nana, I really feel like if you stopped calling her a queer every morning, you wouldn't be in this situation."
"Bah, the day I sacrifice my ideals is the day I walk headfirst off a cliff and write your father into my will. Now shoo, I've got a lesbian with bad fashion sense to give some life advice to."
Jojo crutched off, waving her bandaged hand back as she, and this was as much of a shock to her as I'm sure it will be to you, waited at the bus stop for the bus to get there at the approved time. My God, this calls for a celebration. Quick, get the champagne! Grab the party poppers under your chair! [sfx of champagne popping] [sfx of party poppers] Sorry for the low budget, don't have any emojis to use. Maybe one day I'll get enough budget for me to drink copious amounts of alcohol mid chapter… Oh right, the story.
Jojo stepped onto the bus, the bus driver looking marginally less upset today then on Friday, but it honestly could've been a trick of the light. Jojo stepped back past the first couple rows of seats, a sense of déjà vu overcoming her as she saw Hermes drawing on the window with his breath, his 'signature' fedora nowhere to be seen. I don't know, we ended things kinda awkward, plus I still can't stand the other 2. Freddy and Kenny were sitting together today, the aquarium across both their laps as the Harlequin Rasboras circled around their heads. Fuck, I bet if I sit over there, he's gonna ask me about the names of the fish or some shit. Ok, maybe you just magically remember them all. Um, Carol? Nope, I'd be cooked. Roger still sat with all of his fans; the groupies seemingly unfazed by the shooting that had taken place less than 4 days ago. As chipper of a group as they seem, I'd rather not hang out with people just because we all find somebody hot. Wes was still screaming, just like the disgusting freak I know he is, but I dunno, he seems more chill about it today, I guess. Dear reader, trust me, he most definitely is not. Carmen was doing her makeup again, seeming to have a full vanity set in front of her, complete with a full 24 by 32 inch mirror. I mean, I could just ask her to move it? She obviously has to put it somewhere, she didn't have it at the hospital, that I saw at least. Yeah, I'll sit here! Just gotta be real confident. Chest out, chin high, project your voice.
"H-hey, mind if I sit here?" It could always be worse, it could always be worse, it could always be worse, it could always be worse…
"Oh, of course! You're disabled now; I think you get priority seating like Kenny."
Kenny nearly snapped some wires at the angle he spun his head to. "Oh haha, real funny."
Carmen started giggling, "You missed it, when Kenny tried to get on the bus, the bus driver started… she… I- I can't." Carmen was fully folded over now; the giggles having changed into full on guffaws.
Kenny started, "It wasn't that crazy-"
Freddy leaned over the top of the seat, "The bus driver tried to set a ramp on the stairs, but then it slipped down, and Kenny had to walk it back up to her."
Carmen was a lost cause at this point, almost having completely fallen off her seat. Hermes also turned back, chuckling as he said, "You forgot the best part, Kenny can't even walk up ramps with the leg model he has!"
Carmen was fully on the floor now, her vanity appropriated by Jojo as she stared at the different lipstick colors, I really feel like the look could use a splash of color to be honest, it's a lot of black and blue, maybe a… cold? Color? Is that a thing? She started testing all the lipsticks, but pretty much all of them were a bit chilly, it was still November after all. Damn, I gotta find some makeup, suuure do wish I could actually go out and buy some, but noooo, we gotta be, super extra duper careful, there is no way they wait 3 days for me to recover a little when I was sitting in the hospital almost completely defenseless that entire middle section. Maybe I should try learning some crutch-justu. Carmen dragged herself back up, rubbing tears from her eyes as she watched Jojo contemplate the battalions of makeup stretched out before her.
"You want some? I didn't really think you wore makeup to be honest, figured you were more of an all-natural kinda gal."
"Oh yeah, I just always kinda forgot about it. By the time I was old enough to start actually learning how to use makeup and not just slathering myself in whatever was close enough to reach, my dad was enrolling me in a loooot of self-defense courses, never had time to go, I dunno, buy stuff? Especially not without my mom being… available. I mostly hung out with my family, dad and grandma and Joseph and Avdol sometimes, but he was usually back in Egypt. Maybe I could've asked Joseph for some help, he seems like the kind of guy to do drag."
"…"
"I mean like as a young guy, he's like 104 now, I'm not sure he could pull it off."
"…Is… he still alive?"
"Oh yeah, he's always looked way younger than he should've, I found some pictures of him from the 80s at one point, lemme show you." Jojo started pulling out her phone and scrolling through her photos as Carmen started holding up lipsticks to Jojo's face and trying to picture it.
"Yeah, here we go. He's got the Indiana Jones fit and everything. Oh yeah, you can't really tell in this pic cause of the gloves, but he's got a prosthetic right hand, it's an antique from like 1940-ish. He always tried to say he got it from a dead nazi, but I'm not convinced, mostly because he didn't actually fight in the war. Because of the missing hand of course."
"You like green?" Carmen was pulling out 3 lipsticks at a time now, mostly because of a general impatience with checking things one at a time.
"Sure, why?"
"Tryyy… this one."
Jojo stared at the shade on the cap for much too long to just be reading it. Finally, she pointed at the sticker on the top, saying, "What kind of color is 'Make Up For Ever' supposed to be?"
"Don't worry about it, it's a good one." Carmen said, waving a hand in a dismissive tone.
Jojo shrugged before pulling off the cap and staring at Carmen as she almost immediately missed her lips and smeared her cheek with the seafoam green lipstick. Carmen tried to save it, jumping into action to stop the damage from getting worse, pointing at the still there vanity mirror. "Babe, my eyes are not that reflective, and you are apparently really bad at guessing shit."
Jojo looked at the mirror, laughed it off, stared deeply at her lips, her hand, the position of the lipstick in her fingers, where her face was in relation to her hand. She took a deep breath, braced herself, and then very slowly began approaching her chin with the lipstick. It seemed so intentional that it took until Jojo was desperately trying to smear back up to her lips for Carmen to begin seriously questioning this woman's hand eye coordination. "Jocie. Jomie. Juice. You gotta be fucking with me, you can't be serious with this."
"No, no, I got this, just give me one more chance."
"Jojo, that stuff is marketed as grease paint on the side, you're not gonna get most of that out."
"Nonono, it's fine. Here, just watch." Jojo led TPAB onto her hand, then in the mirror watched as it disappeared up exactly one cubic inch of the lipstick, which is more than you think. No really, right now, try and imagine smearing enough lipstick on a surface that you can make it an inch tall.
"Oh sick, can you put it back in the stick?"
"Uh, maybe?" She had TPAB open up its mouth, then stuck her finger inside, thankful that this was not a real inchworm and was conveniently sized. Hang on, I could've sworn he (He? She? It? TPAB did come from me, it would make sense if we shared pronouns. Although, there was the question of how much freewill TPAB actually had, could you really misgender a ruler or a shovel?) Jojo stared deep into the inchworm's eyes, then grabbed at the sides of his mouth with 2 fingers and said in a deep stage voice, opening and closing TPAB's mouth as she did, "'Well Jojo, while I am a representation of your fighting spirit, there's nothing saying I'm not allowed to be my own person along the way. I'll use he/him pronouns, just to keep things fresh.' Oh, wow To Pimp a Butterfly, isn't that unique of you. 'Whoa, why you just throwing my full name out there? What if there's someone stalking you?' Well, I really doubt that someone would stalk me on a school bus, plus I think most people have an idea of the album from the acronym, it's a really popular album. Some people say it's Kendrick's best album by far, but I personally think that Mr. Morale is right up there with it. 'Oh wow, I didn't know that. I'll have to give it a listen at some point.' You should, it's really good."
Carmen sat next to Jojo, watching as this legal adult spoke to a fake caterpillar like it could respond and comprehend that it 'just so happened' to share a name with an extremely popular album. "You done?"
Jojo looked at Carmen, seemingly remembering what she had been doing right before she got sidetracked onto the whole pronoun biz. She looked at TPAB as he reared back, then spat all of the lipstick back onto Jojo's face. "Guess that's a no on putting it back."
"No big deal honestly, but I'm not letting you waste anymore. Here, don't move your head." Carmen reached over, uncapping the lipstick again as she gripped Jojo's face so tight her lips started pursing themselves. She readjusted to holding her hand over Jojo's eyes, then, with expert technique from a finely trained hand, (not that the bar was very high, mind you) she quickly applied the lipstick directly onto her cheek.
"Huh. Alright, I guess it's a little harder to do on a moving bus. One more try." She then managed to get the other cheek in an almost perfect lip shape. "Shoot, I really thought I had that. I got the next one though." One more lip shape, now on her forehead. "… I can't be that bad at this."
"Do… do you think it's a stand attack?"
"It's a really bad one if it is. Hang onto the lipstick though, they might leave at some point." They sat in silent contemplation for a moment before Carmen bumped Jojo's elbow. "C'mon, say something to make it seem like we don't know what's going on."
"Oh shit, uh, Yeah, uh, sorry 'bout that. I think it's mostly the stab wound on my hand kinda fucking me up."
"Oh yeah, where did it go through?"
"Right around here, maybe I can pull up the bandages a little for you to look at it…"
As Carmen desperately tried to stop Jojo from pulling off her bandage, another person on the bus also desperately wished this situation wasn't happening. Near the front of the bus was a young lady named Saki Fumina. She looked like a typical high school girl, pink sweatshirt with a white skirt that was definitely not following the fingertip rule, and white leggings with some black ankle length shoes. She was currently gnawing on her knuckles as she watched that whore Carmen getting to touch Jojo like that. It was just sickening; she had put in all the work to find out everything about Jojo, and then this hussy just decided to show up out of nowhere and try and home wreck?!? No, she wasn't going to take that. Especially not after she saw how cute Jojo's stand was, just like Jojo herself. They just had so much in common! They were both Japanese, they both had stands, they were both incredibly attractive, god Jojo was so attractive…
Saki's thoughts slowly devolved into thinking about how attractive Jojo was with the occasional death threat towards Carmen, but thankfully, the bus began nearing its final stop a few minutes later, Yale Upper High school. Now, while the current school building in Bagley was admittedly collapsed, this school was not much better. Paint peeled from the brick, the only parking spots were for faculty, if we're being honest, the only redeeming quality of the whole thing was the enthusiasm of the principal, who was currently standing outside 30 minutes before school opened just to greet the students. As everyone piled out of the bus, Jojo and Carmen stayed close together with Freddy, Kenny, Hermes, and Wes, with Roger pulling up the rear as he had a large bubble of clear space due to his groupies giving him at least 2.5 ft of space at least, with one insisting upon 5 feet away, which made it difficult to shoo people from him, but she made it work.
The principal tried to quiet the crowd that had just piled off the bus but only managed to get it to a low rumble, which she decided to take as a win. She held up her hands and announced, "On Friday, a horrible tragedy unfolded on your bus, a completely unpredictable but all too normal shooting. Now, while I am sure you are all spooked, I want you to know that we are doing everything we can to make sure that this never happens again. Security measures are already being rolled out and should get to every bus by January. Now, on a lighter note, we have some visitors from Bagley that are going to be at our school for the foreseeable future, so why don't you all come up here and introduce yourselves? That's not a request by the by, get up here."
Slowly, Jojo, Freddy, Kenny, Hermes, and a couple randoms (What? If I said their names, you'd get all confused and start going back to see if you missed somebody) stood on the stage, Jojo next to Hermes. She side-eyed him, trying to see if this really was Hermes. Purple tinted eyes and an aged face greeted her.
"Oh, fuck off, I'm not talking to some fake guy." She whispered, turning back to the front.
"The dame was being cagey, but I knew all I needed was to wet her beak a little, and she'd be singing like a canary." A feminine voice came from behind Sam's head, Sheba the Freak vocalizing Sam's inner monologue.
"Alright, that one wasn't all that bad to be honest, you're getting better at the detective speeches Hermes."
"You know he's not the one talking. And as much as I appreciate the feedback, that is not why I need to speak to you."
"Well, I would certainly prefer to be talking to him. But please, if you need to 'wet my beak,' get on with it, I'd love to hear it." If he offers money, punch him and run with it, if he wants to be on better terms, ask to speak to Hermes and then just tell him he needs to grow a backbone when he's dealing with them, and if he offers anything else, say I need to piss and run away to the bathroom.
"I can give you information on how to evolve your stand." Jojo stilled.
"What?"
"Come on, don't play dumb. I'm sure you've figured out that your stand kind of sucks. It's obvious that it should be able to change in some kind of way. Just help me out a little, and I'll tell you exactly how to achieve your 'acts.'"
She paused for a while at that, the principal still droning on in the background. "Well, I-I suppose the offer is certainly… tempting. But what would I actually have to do?"
He turned to stare at her, OH! Tengo Suerte seated on his shoulder with a wicked smile splitting its beak, it's horrible laugh echoing through the courtyard. "Don't interfere." And with that, the purple in Sam's eyes seemed to melt away, and Hermes stumbled forward.