Was life supposed to be this hard?
If someone asked me how my life was like then I would most probably reply:
"It's absolute shit, it keeps on egging on me"
I was no saint nor was I necessary evil but did I really deserve this much bullshit?
Why you may ask?
Well...
My alarm didn't go off this Morning and because of that I missed my shift and very soon after that, I received an email of me being fired. Cool right? And as if that wasn't enough, my favorite restaurant suddenly closed without any warning just when I was about to eat in it to lighten up my already sour mood. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I was somehow blamed of theft because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it took me a few hours in the Police Station getting questioned before I was released as an innocent man.
Officially, my day was absolutely the shittiest day ever and I was now lamenting if I was somehow cursed with bad luck since birth.
But, fine. I as a responsible soon-to-be-adult , took the huge L and started going home without making a fuss, but of course the huge BS didn't stop there.
It was evening then and while going home I came across an Old Lady trying to cross the street with her groceries in both hands, but couldn't because of the Vehicles on the road moving way too fast.
And so, I who had the worst luck in the world decided to do a good deed for the first time of the day to somehow lessen the bad Karma I had.
I offered my help to the Grandma which she showed a kind smile to and agreed.
And so we both waited for the next stoplight as I carried the Grandma's groceries in hand.
A few moments later the Vehicles stopped moving as the stoplight turned red indicating all of the vehicles at that lane to stop and for us waiting to cross the street to go. And so, me and the Grandma started to cross the street.
And then this is where my absolute proof that life was fucking me over happened.
While we crossed the street, a blaring noise resounded as a huge truck, clearly overspeeding started hitting cars after cars out of the way.
Before I knew it, it was already very close to us.
We didn't get enough time to react to it but clearly it was going to hit us two, but then suddenly the Grandma pushed me away with a surprising strength making me stumble off to my butt
She was trying to save me.
I tried to quickly react and save her but unfortunately, humans had limits and even if I did everything I could it wouldn't be enough to break the limits of humanity and save her.
My brain might've had reacted but my body was slow to react to it.
But then, In a seemingly twist of fate. The truck that was about to hit the Grandma suddenly changed course and hit me instead.
I flew up way up in the sky as if the truck was golfing and hit a perfect hit and made the ball ricochet up in the sky.
All I could remember was a searing pain that spread throughout my whole body, and then suddenly nothing.
Yeah, I died just like that.
Atleast the Grandma was safe, but I definitely wasn't.
Still don't believe how shitty my life is? No? Then I hope you have a taste of my karma one day you shitty bastards.
Seriously, my life is nothing but a huge misfortune. From me losing my Family early age and being forced to drop out of school and work to support myself to having no friends nor lover to support me. I guess watching TV shows or Anime's were the only anchor keeping me to this world.
But I guess the universe finally had enough of my existence and finally killed me off.
Well, that's basically how my life is and how it ended.
I don't really know why I can even monologue right now even though I'm dead.
Does that mean I'm still alive?
Nah, No way my body could've survived being ragdolled by a truck like that.
So, why can I still think?
I mean, I can't feel my body but I think I can feel myself being washed away somewhere.
It was a truly weird feeling
Maybe I was just a soul now?
Does that mean that I am currently on the process of being transported to the afterlife?
Still, that doesn't explain why I can think.
Well, I feel comfortable right now, it felt as if I was being enveloped by a warmth of a very loving Mother so I'm not complaining, I just hope the afterlife would be a peaceful and fun place for me.
I just want to live the rest of my afterlife in peace, until I get reincarnated if that was even true or possible.
Suddenly a thought made me quiver.
Wait, what if reincarnation wasn't true and I would just have to live the rest of eternity looking up at the sky looking at the passing clouds?
That would be too boring, I don't want that, That's why I hope there will be some entertainment there.
I then relaxed once more with that wish in mind still a little uneasy before an even scarier thought crossed my mind.
Wait, will I even go to heaven? I mean, I did a few good deeds here and there in my life but I also did some bad stuffs in my life, that was unavoidable, humanity always do bad deeds even if they weren't aware of it.
What if I would get judged by the gatekeeper who would decide my fate if I was deserving of Heaven or Hell?
I don't wanna rot in eternity in hell and being deep fried in a huge pit of fire, that's way too scary to even think about.
Hmm...
Alright, escape it is.
I don't really know what awaits for me in the afterlife nor was I yet ready to find out, so I will escape from wherever I am and hope for the best.
With that, I started to try and wriggle my body or what's left of me atleast.
At first I couldn't really move myself, but after a few more tries I successfully moved myself a little.
And then, as if I was a worm, I wriggled myself with no direction really in mind.
I mean, I really couldn't see or feel anything at all so I was just using my guts and instincts to navigate where I go.
I kept on wriggling as if my life depended on it, I didn't know where I was headed and the wave that was taking me to the afterlife started to get stronger.
Suddenly I felt a wall blocking me.
I didn't know what it was but I thought that it might be the chance for me to leave this place.
And so I started pushing like my life depended on it trying to squeeze myself in.
I didn't know if it was even working but I could feel myself slowly starting to sink into it.
It took me a lot and I truly meant a lot of will to insert myself in it and I succeeded
And I fell.
.
.
.
I didn't really know what happened but after falling I suddenly felt an unimaginable pain that I didn't even know was possible course through my entire being.
It felt as if something is crushing me and was slowly butchering me.
I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know where I was and I wanted to scream in pain but I couldn't.
Maybe I should've just let myself get transported to wherever I was about to be taken to.
That thought crossed my mind before it quickly dissipated as the pain intensified.
Panic set in further.
Then, I don't know how but I felt a shiver run through my spine as I heard- No, I felt what it was trying to tell me.
The voice sounded, "Soul of an Outlander, how did you get here?"
I didn't know who it was but I knew it was dangerous, as if one wrong movement would be the end of me.
I tried to speak but unfortunately my current form couldn't do so.
"A soul being able to escape the Cycle is unheard of." I heard her mutter to herself.
I don't know what she was on about but I just wanted to escape, the pain that coursed through my very being was just that unbearably painful.
And so, I tried to move myself but I couldn't. No, she was stopping me from doing anything.
She hummed in slight interest, "A conscious soul? Hmm... How interesting. Unfortunately you strayed off of your designated path and broke one of the absolute laws of the heavenly principles. So you must be erased."
Right after those words rolled of her mouth the force that was keeping me still suddenly changed to something that was slowly engulfing me.
It felt like hell, the pain that coursed through me was something that I never knew was even possible.
It hurts.
I knew that if it succeeded then even the afterlife would be impossible, my very being would just cease to exist.
I tried resisting but it was futile, I could feel myself slowly getting engulfed by something but I couldn't do anything.
Suddenly I felt a part of me shatter and got erased, it felt even more painful, as if a limb got brutally torn away.
It felt like I wasn't whole anymore but was fragmented into pieces.
The pain was unbearable and I flailed around more, trying to ease my pain but the force just grew stronger.
And just when I felt my existence was about to be erased, something happened.
I wished for me to just get out of here, and then all of a sudden a small black and red rims shaped like a star appeared just below my soul and sucked me away.
Crap... Am I dying?
And then, with the pain unbearable. I fainted.
Before I fell unconscious it seemed like the Woman that tried to erase me muttered something to herself.
"Impossible... That is..." Her tone was that of a surprised one as she looked at the portal that got summoned.
.
.
.
The room was warm, dimly lit by lanterns that cast a soft glow over the stone walls. The scent of herbal remedies hung in the air, mixing with the faint metallic tang of blood and sweat. The sound of strained breathing filled the space, accompanied by the quiet murmurs of the doctors moving around the bedside.
A woman lay on the cushioned bed, her auburn hair damp with sweat and clinging to her flushed skin. She was exhausted, her muscles ached, her body felt like it had been torn apart, and yet, she pushed through, gripping the sheets with trembling fingers.
"You're almost there," one of the doctors said, their voice calm but firm.
She let out a shaky breath, barely registering the words as another wave of pain crashed through her. It felt endless. Hours had passed, yet every second dragged on like an eternity.
Then, finally-
A sharp cry didn't fill the air.
Instead, there was only silence.
The baby had been born, but there was no sound.
The mother barely had time to register this before the doctors quickly stepped in, working with practiced efficiency. One of them gently took the newborn, wrapping it in soft linen while another checked over her.
The silence stretched on for what felt like forever.
"…Why isn't he crying?" she managed to ask, her voice hoarse.
One of the younger doctors hesitated, eyes flickering to the child in their colleague's arms. The baby wasn't struggling. Wasn't gasping for air. It was just… lying there. Quiet. Still. But breathing.
One of the older healers pressed a hand gently to the child's tiny chest. A long moment passed. Then, they sighed in relief.
"Heartbeat is strong. Breathing is steady. No signs of distress," they said, nodding to reassure the worried mother.
A few of the others let out quiet exhales, the tension in the room easing, but only slightly. It wasn't unusual for newborns to take a moment before crying, but this child… He was too calm.
The father, a tall, broad-shouldered man with sharp red eyes, stepped forward. He had been silent the whole time, watching everything with a furrowed brow. The second he saw that his son was stable, he reached out and took the small bundle into his arms, holding him with a gentleness that contradicted his rough exterior.
For a while, he just looked at the child.
The baby was tiny, wrapped snugly in the linen, his face soft and peaceful in sleep. His little chest rose and fell with each steady breath, completely unaware of the unease surrounding him.
Then, after a few moments, the baby stirred.
Tiny fingers twitched under the fabric, his nose scrunched slightly, and then, for the first time, his eyelids fluttered open.
The father inhaled sharply.
A doctor, who had been in the middle of cleaning up, froze in place. Another let out a quiet gasp.
The baby's eyes weren't normal.
A striking shade of gold gleamed under the lantern light-deep, rich, and bright in a way that seemed almost unnatural. But that wasn't what made everyone pause.
It was the patterns.
Within those golden irises, delicate rings swirled faintly, shifting in a way that didn't seem possible. It wasn't a trick of the light. The rings were faint but undoubtedly glowing and mesmerizing.
It looked beautiful and divine.
The father's grip on the child tightened slightly. He turned his head, eyes meeting the mother's. She was already watching, her expression unreadable as she took in their son's unusual gaze.
"His eyes…" the father murmured.
One of the doctors, an older woman with years of experience, cautiously stepped closer, peering down at the baby with a furrowed brow. "Golden eyes aren't unheard of," she said carefully, but there was hesitation in her tone.
"Not like this," another doctor muttered.
The mother, still weak from labor, slowly lifted a hand. With trembling fingers, she reached out, brushing them gently against her child's tiny cheek. The baby blinked up at her but didn't flinch away.
She let out a slow breath. Then, despite everything, a small, tired smile formed on her lips.
"It doesn't matter," she whispered.
The father watched her for a long moment before exhaling through his nose. He looked back down at the baby, at those strange, golden eyes that still hadn't looked away.
"…Lux," he murmured. "His name is Lux Yildirim."
The mother's smile grew a little as she repeated the name softly. "Lux."
The room was still quiet, the weight of what they had seen lingering in the air. The doctors didn't say anything more.