CHAPTER-1
While in his class Shiva feels a bit bored and instead of focusing in class he starts daydreaming.
Shiva:* in his head* Mannnn.... Class is so boring. How about a start a new story in my head..... But i always discontinue them.... Never mind this time i will continue the story until I am satisfied. Ok let's get started. My character will remain the same. Let's get some intros done in my new story version 231. I am Shiva, I am a high school student who will soon reach the final year of high school very soon. I am also doing a dummy. So instead studying in school here I am in a coaching. I am also gonna be 17 this year. This fatso next to me is my current class best friend and his name is Dhruv. The three idiots in front of me.... I don't know there names but I call them Gandhi's three monkey's. Of course we have a group of showoff idiots. I mean why wouldn't we this is a city. Though I don't remember there name either. But I know two of them. Their leader Atharv and the topper who is also part of them, Shivansh. People say it's weird to daydream and imagine stories in my head but I guess that's cuz they aren't like me. I am ju-ouch!!
The teacher who threw a chhok at him asks: Why are you smiling so much,Shiva? Would you mind telling us so we can all laugh a bit?
**From here on we will experience this story from the main characters point of view**
The whole class then looks at me with a grin. Most aren't even trying to hide it. I let out a deep breath and say, " Sorry sir. It's nothing. " I soon realised after coming here that when the teachers ask such questions they don't want a actual explanation and instead want a apology. In case you did explain they are highly likely to get defensive or mad in many cases.
The teacher continues, " No Shiva. Please tell us maybe we can laugh too. "
What's the point of asking when you don't even want a answer. "Sorry sir. I won't do it again. " It's so obvious what everyone is thinking. The bullies are making fun of me and saying that they just wouldn't accept this and fight back against the teacher. The guys who don't get involved in class drama or activities just want this to end. And the girl's.... I don't know. I don't know enough about then to judge. Not like I made any female friends. And I will get out of this place in a year or two at best. What's the point of making friends with them. This so called average life is so boring. Maybe I am like this cuz I don't enjoy this so called normal. Maybe me wanting fun and entertainment is something that can't be possible in normal. But who cares since I have my own entertainment which is beyond normal.
The teacher continues and says" Ok Shiva. Just don't do it again. "
Finally these hellish classes ended. Now I can go back and play games like crazy. But I also need to study. Fuck this is so boring. But let's get something to eat first. I go to the mess but like always I am told that I eat like a tank and I was asked where everything I eat goes. I know these guys are just joking but it feels so bad. Who I want to ignore them since I won't be with them for long but I just can't. Forget it. Let's just eat, game and study.
After that the scene changes to night time and the main character is shown in a room with Shivansh.
For those of you who don't know Shivansh here lives in the same building as me but we have kept aur friendship hidden from our classmates. He is my best friend in the place I live. We both usually study together and a lot more stuff.
The scene then shifts to his own room where his roommate is sleeping and he is using his phone.
Well I live a very clean life on the top but I have my own secrets. Like right now this group chat I am in. I love to look at illegal websites in tor browser. In there I managed to find a group chat full of criminals. And now I am friends with the majority of them. Why you ask? Well I am deeply interested in human's their nature, psychology and so on. But I have analyzed to many normal people. I have read them like books. So I wanted new and entertaining test subjects to experiment on. And these criminals are my new test subjects. And this isn't some bookish story that everything is super good. No! Some of these guys aren't completely cold. Some are cold to everyone but inside they are a bit of a scaredy cat and emotional. For example the criminal I am currently talking to is a killer, drug manufacturer and drug dealer. He is currently asking how he should torture a women. His father told him to torture and kill a girl. More like ordered but yeah same stuff. But he doesn't want to. So he came to me for help. Why? I too am confused. He says he wants my skills. But I wonder what's so interesting in a kid like me. He doesn't want to hurt the girl and my rule that I use to keep a certain level of humanity is help others and never harm a female or a kid. So I first used reverse psychology and found out that the females family was killed in front of her. And no one close to her is left to live. I talked and I came to a conclusion. He is gonna video call me in a bit and show me the girl's condition. If it seems like she wants to live then we will not kill or torture her. Rather we will let her go and support her. This way his father's gang will show how much strength they have and this is what happens to those who mess up. I even managed to find out why her family was killed. Her dad leaked drug info to there rivalling gang cuz of which his son who had went to pick up the truck full of drugs was attacked. Yes that son is the same as the guy who I am talking to. And if she doesn't she will be killed on the spot.
After a hour, it's three in the night and i get a video call. I go and pickup the call in a empty room.
The gang leader's son: well what do you think? Does she want to live?
Me: hey there? Can you hear me? If you want revenge we are willing to help you and even if you want to live then we will help you. So what do you want?
The girl: ...
Me: Hold up her face and let me get a look at her expression.
The gang leader's son holds up her face tightly and shows it to me on camera. The only thing about her expression is that there's no hope. Her eyes were empty like the void as if there is nothing left. Her eyes were unfocused. She wasn't trembling, crying or shaking. She had accepted her fate and was ready to die. She wants to die. I am shocked why she didn't just bite her tongue. That's when I noticed that she was trying to cut off her tongue. But was too scared to do show. Other then that there was only emptiness in her eyes.
Me: She is already dead inside. Make it match the outside.
I said this without hesitation since. I already expected this as one of the possible outcomes, but seems like my friend who had to do the actual shooting was rather weak willed for a criminal. I guess being born in a crime family doesn't automatically make you a criminal. This friend of my has great ambitions yet is very reluctant. Isn't the human nature so entertaining. It's things like these that are the most fun watching. But we can't have have being this hesitant.
Me:Your dad has already made the choice. You just have to prove that he was right about you. Prove that your ambitions aren't baseless and that one day you will achieve them.You know it, don't you. He gave you these orders to help your growth. He expects his only son to help in his work. He needs support. Maybe just like you he is also tired. You can't let him live with that weight alone. So help your dad in his work.
Finally he shoots. The fear barely visible in his eyes. Her blood backspatters. Her lifeless body still tied to the chair. And the professional criminal can't hide the fact that he killed a innocent girl. Till now He only had to kill actual criminals and rivals, and at most only had to beat the innocent. Seems like it's his first time actually killing a innocent girl. I feel a bit disappointed that I still feel nothing, but looking at his reaction was entertaining enough. He is trying to hide it from me. I guess he feels ashamed that a kid, who is supposedly only 16 year old is teaching a professional like him, about how to do his job. Asking for help and then hiding your emotions. I guess this is what therapist feel like when someone pays then to help but isn't honest with them. But who cares. This isn't some fantasy. There are people like him and there are people like me. We hide it but there are just too much crime in this world.
we soon cancelled the call. I then start talking to myself again. Normally people think that brahmans are very kind and helpful. Most don't expect a black sheep like me in the brahman group. Not like I harmed her. Yes I could have helped her more but what's the point. With the way her face was she would probably kill herself as soon as she was freed. And forcing someone to stay alive feels wrong. So it's better to let her die painlessly.
It feels wrong to force her to live, but it also feels wrong to get her killed. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's just that as I keep growing I keep losing my sense of emotions here and there. Like last year I noticed that I was unable to cry. I couldn't even force a proper tear. I want to feel guilty but I can't feel guilty even though I know I got her killed. I say that I don't want to kill females and kid's but even that rules only applies when I do it directly. I try to keep myself sane by making my own sense of moral. But for some reason I don't care if someone dies, gets murdered, etc. As long as it doesn't affect ne or my personal life. But I wish I could just feel these emotions. Even if my past made me like this, that doesn't define the fact that my past wasn't as bad as so many people of the world so why did I end up like this.
I keep overthinking like this for a hour or two without realizing how much time had passed. I finally stopped overthinking in the morning, when it was almost time for my classes. I like to eat a few grams of coffee powder to force myself to be awake. Coffee just doesn't do it's work on me anymore. I guess eating low concentration poison as a child affected my digestion or something. Cuz I am poison resistant to a certain extent.