Chapter 33
"Over here, you idiot!" Vorrak screamed from the other end of the room as his headless skeleton stumbled and tripped over a chair, landing on the cold stone floor with a hollow clack.
I leaned slightly to the side for a better view of the comedic chaos. Vorrak's skeleton stumbled in circles, groping at the ground in panic as if he were looking for a lost coin and not his head. Guided by the sound of his own complaining, his hand finally found the skull and jammed it back onto its neck with a sharp click.
His flaming eye sockets turned towards me. I assumed what was reflected in his eyes was pure anger, but it's hard to determine a skeleton's expressions.
"Well, that's a neat trick," I muttered about the detachable head shenanigan. "Ravi, shoot him."
Ravi raised her bow, but before she could let the arrow fly, Vorrak chanted some obscure words and flung out a skeletal hand. A burst of raw magic surged through the room, hitting Ravi square in the chest as it lifted her off her feet like a ragdoll. She was slammed into the stone wall with a sickening thud and crumpled to the ground, motionless.
"Hey Ravi, you still with me?" I asked nervously.
She groaned but didn't reply. At least she was alive.
"Well," I muttered, clenching my fists. "Looks like I'll have to do it myself…"
I charged.
Vorrak turned just in time to fire another spell. I ducked under the swirling mass of purple energy, feeling the magic whip past the top of my head. Without losing a second, I closed the gap between us in two strides.
I threw a punch.
Vorrak moved with surprising speed, twisting his torso just enough for my fist to sail past his bony face, missing it only by a few inches. He stepped back and raised his fists like he thought we were in some kind of skeleton boxing match.
He swung first, and a bony fist collided with my cheek, and I staggered back a step.
He laughed. High, grating, and utterly smug. "You mortals bruise so easily."
"Stop talking," I said. "It's creepy to see you talk."
All I needed was a moment of weakness, and then I punched him square in the face.
There was a loud crack. Vorrak reeled back, clutching his skull with both hands. "Time out!" he shrieked. "You broke my nose!"
"You don't have a nose," I said and tried to kick him in the ribs. He sidestepped with a little skeleton hop, and we started circling each other again.
We exchanged more blows. I was stronger and faster, but he was slippery and had the distinct advantage of not needing human things like lungs or stamina, which were slowing me down.
Eventually, he managed to push me against the wall. I reached behind me, hand fumbling across the top of an old desk until I felt something ceramic.
A vase.
I yanked it up and raised it above my head.
"Wait!" Vorrak squealed, holding up both hands in surrender. "Don't throw that! It's very precious!"
"Even better."
I hurled it.
The vase missed Vorrak and shattered against the opposite wall. A wailing sound filled the chamber, and tiny green ghosts began pouring out of the broken remains like smoke escaping a bottle.
Vorrak screamed. "You just broke my limited edition Jar of Souls! Do you know how long I waited for that pre-order?!"
"I'd guess an eternity," I said.
His flaming eyes widened in genuine horror. "You monster."
And then we were at it again with renewed ferocity.
We flung everything at each other that we could get our hands on. Books, candlesticks, and even what looked like action figures of knights. He tossed a taxidermied owl at me, which was horrifying but weirdly soft. I retaliated with a bust of some long-forgotten duke. It took off half his arm, which he promptly screwed back on with ease.
At one point, I swung a chair over his head, which missed and broke into pieces on the floor. We both grabbed one of the legs and started fencing for a while. I managed to stab him once, but it went in between his ribs. He laughed and smashed his chair leg over my head.
Then he started trying one-liners.
"You've met your bone-afide doom!" he shouted, hurling a magic bolt.
I sidestepped. "That's terrible."
"Feel the marrow of your defeat!"
"Worse."
"This fight… is skele-fun! Hah!"
I stopped mid-dodge to give him a deadpan look. "Please stop. Your words are more hurtful and horrifying than your weak punches."
He looked genuinely hurt. "You could at least pretend to appreciate the effort."
"No."
We went back to brawling, forgoing his weak one-liners. I ducked under his next swing and socked him in the jaw. His skull spun a full 180 degrees.
He paused. "Where did you go?"
I grabbed the skull, yanked it off, and held it up while shoving the rest of the skeleton away with a kick. The body stumbled, arms flailing.
"Hey!" the skull shouted. "Unhand me, you brute!"
"Stay back," I warned the skeleton, lifting the skull threateningly. "One crack and your head's confetti."
"Do as he says!" Vorrak's head screamed desperately.
The skeleton froze. Then, very slowly, it raised its hands and backed away.
"Yeah," I said. "That's what I thought."
It continued inching backward. I narrowed my eyes, feeling suspicious.
Something wasn't right.
"Hey," I said. "Where do you think you're going?"
The skeleton didn't answer. It reached a nearby wall and yanked down a rusted iron lever with both hands.
There was a deep clang. A thunderous sound rippled through the chamber.
The skeletal pillars, which Vorrak had called the Void portal, began to move. The fingers swung closer and touched at the tips as the ground began to shake.
Vorrak's skull started laughing menacingly in my hand, his teeth rattling.
"It's too late! The Void is coming!"
"Why didn't you pull this move at the start if it had been your plan all along?"
"I was waiting for it to power up," he said gleefully. "But you've forced my hand. Rest assured, the damage will be tremendous!"
I had no time to argue with a talking skull. I dropped him into my bag and turned to Ravi.
She still hadn't moved.
I ran to check up on her and dropped to one knee, gently lifting her onto my shoulder.
"Hang in there," I whispered.
The air behind us twisted as the Void portal started opening. At first, it was a tiny black spot, which quickly expanded, sucking in all light, color, and warmth around us. It was like standing next to the mouth of a black sun.
The skeleton was standing triumphantly beside the lever, hands on its bony hips.
I ran.
Ravi groaned faintly over my shoulder, but she didn't wake up. My boots pounded across the stone, echoing down the winding tunnel that led out of the cave. Behind me, I could hear the portal growling like an angry storm cloud, swelling with unnatural force.
There was no point in looking back—I knew something horrible was about to happen.
Despite my better judgment, I looked back anyway.
"Shit."
Misshapen beasts of black mist poured from the widening void like an army of nightmares.
Claws, wings, tendrils—you name it. In one short glance, I saw more than a dozen painful ways to die.
The sound of a thousand screams folded over each other in some sort of horrifying orchestra.
I turned back around and ran as if my life depended on it because it sure as hell did.
As I burst out of the cave mouth, daylight hit my face like a blessing. The valley stretched ahead with the tranquil lakes, green slopes, and gentle breeze. It was almost too peaceful. Except for, you know, the torrent of unholy darkness now bursting out from behind me.
"Laine!" I screamed. "Get the damn lizard! Bring it closer!"
He was on the other side of the lake, waving frantically. The lizard was charging forward, shrieking in panic with its massive feet pounding the earth. Laine guided it toward me, riding bareback like some deranged jungle cowboy.
I ran to them, hoping the lizard would be fast enough to help us get away.
We met about halfway between the lake and the cave.
Too late.
The shadows were faster than I thought. They poured into the valley like a living flood. Some slithered. Some flew while others crawled upside down in the air like gravity was just a suggestion and not a scientific fact. They surrounded us in a matter of seconds, forming a black tide that stretched out in every direction.
And they just kept pouring out.
"This is new," I muttered, setting Ravi gently down on Scaly's back.
Vorrak's skeleton stepped through the swarm like a king among ants. His skull might've been at my waist, but his body still moved calculatedly, like it had something to prove. The beasts parted for him.
He struck a dramatic pose.
I took his skull out and screamed at it, "Tell me how to stop this!"
He laughed at me.
"You can't stop it. Look upon my mighty work, mortal!" he bellowed. "And despair! My plentiful servants shall serve me till the end of time, as I—"
Out of the darkness, a massive dog-shaped shadow beast materialized, all jaws and spine. It tackled the skeleton from the side and chomped down with a crunch.
Vorrak's skull made a surprised noise from my hand.
"Oh. Shit."
The beast chewed once, twice, then gulped.
I raised the skull up to eye level. "Your servants, huh?"
"To be fair, I didn't say they were loyal," he said. "Just plentiful."
Laine looked at me. "It's been an honor, Sam."
I sighed. "Wish I could say the same."
A groan came from Scaly's back. Maxian.
The priest got up and rubbed his eyes. He muttered sleepily, "Is it done? Did we save the day?"
"Open your eyes," I said.
He did.
And froze.
"Blessed Emprio," he whispered. "Please save us."
One of the beasts, a huge horned thing with eyes where its stomach should've been, leaned in and roared in his face.
"Actually, scratch that. Any god will do. Someone. Anyone."
And then…
Wings.
Massive, thunderous wings.
The entire valley fell silent as the air shifted. I looked up and saw it.
Sarmos.
The dragon. The god of the natives. Coincidentally, also the one who tried to burn me to a crisp.
"Oh great," I whispered.
Now, we had to deal with this guy, too, on top of the shadow beasts.
It circled above us, scales glinting like molten gold and wings spanning half the sky. The beasts around us shrank back, uncertain.
And then it dove.
Fire poured from its jaws, golden and white-hot, burning hundreds of the shadows in a single breath. The beasts shrieked and scattered.
But there was nowhere to run.
Sarmos kept circling the valley in sweeping arcs, burning away at the horde. I could now understand why the natives had chosen to worship this being—it truly was powerful.
Our crew stood frozen as the air turned hotter.
But the fire didn't touch us.
It didn't even come close.
It was like the dragon was avoiding us on purpose by shaping its path in a way that it left us in the middle of a perfect circle of untouched earth. Everywhere else was pure carnage as the beasts burned away, reduced to ashes.
I could see the beasts trying to dive back into the cave, but Sarmos landed in front of its mouth with a deafening crash and let out another furious blaze.
The cave lit up like the heart of a volcano.
Then, from somewhere in the distance, came a boom.
An explosion echoed through the mountains. A plume of dark blue smoke erupted from behind the cave entrance.
"Oh," Vorrak said. "He just destroyed my portal."
He sounded like a man watching his car get flattened.
The few beasts that remained began to fall apart, their bodies dissolving into smoke and their screams fading away.
And then, quiet.
Sarmos turned.
Massive eyes, the color of sunlit steel, locked onto me.
The dragon stared for a long moment. I had no idea what to do.
And then, instinctively, I raised my fingers to my temple. It was the strange salute the natives had given me after I'd saved them.
I held it there.
Sarmos tilted his head.
Then, with slow, deliberate grace, he raised one enormous claw and tapped three talons against the side of his scaled head.
Without a sound, the dragon lifted off the ground, wings stirring the wind into a storm, and soared up into the clouds until he vanished from sight.
I stared after him, mouth dry. "Thanks," I muttered.
Laine reached up and patted Scaly. "Don't worry, buddy. You're still my favorite lizard."
Scaly grunted, either proud or offended.
I looked down at the skull still in my hand.
Vorrak sighed dramatically. "Well. That went poorly."
"No kidding," I said.
"So…. What do you say we let bygones be bygones?"
I turned his head around slowly, letting him get a good view of the wrecked valley, the black ash, and the lingering embers.
"Well, the dragon's gone," I said, "but maybe I can feed you to my own lizard."
Vorrak let out a nervous laugh. "You wouldn't."
"True. I got something better planned." I gave him my most evil smile.
I could swear the skull started to sweat in my hands.