I am 15 chapters ahead on my patreón, check it out if you are interested.
https://www.patréon.com/emperordragon
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Chapter 27: The Forgotten Open House
The sun hung low in the sky as Jon dribbled a basketball, bouncing it between his legs effortlessly before passing it to Luke.
Manny wiped his forehead dramatically. "I don't see the appeal of this sport."
Luke caught the ball and grinned. "That's because you shoot like a T-Rex trying to hail a cab."
Manny frowned. "Excuse me?"
Jon chuckled. "It's true. You gotta extend your arms when you shoot, not keep them tucked in like you're bracing for an earthquake."
Manny sighed. "This is why I prefer fencing. At least then, looking dramatic is part of the sport."
Before Jon could respond, the front door of the Dunphy house burst open.
Phil sprinted out, looking as if he had just woken up to a five-alarm fire. His tie was half-on, his shirt untucked, and his eyes were wide with panic.
"Phil?" Jon called, frowning. "What's going on?"
Phil stopped mid-step and pointed at them. "Open house! Totally forgot! I have one hour to get everything ready!"
Jon raised an eyebrow. "That sounds... bad."
"Very bad," Phil confirmed, checking his watch. "I still have to set up signs, fluff the pillows, adjust the lighting, bake cookies—"
"Cookies?" Manny asked, confused.
"People love cookies, Manny!" Phil exclaimed. "They feel warm, welcome, and most importantly, hungry, which makes them more likely to make emotional purchases!"
Jon nodded slowly. "You really thought this through."
"Yes! I always think these things through! I just don't always remember them in time!"
Luke tilted his head. "Dad, do you need help?"
Phil looked at his son as if he had just discovered fire. "YES."
Jon exchanged glances with Luke and Manny before shrugging. "Alright, we'll help."
Phil gasped in relief. "Oh, thank you! Thank you! You just saved my career, my dignity, and possibly my marriage!"
"…I feel like we're not qualified for that last one," Jon muttered, but before he could protest, Phil was already ushering them toward his car.
"Come on, team!" Phil declared, throwing open the driver's door. "To the open house!"
The moment they arrived, Jon took in the mess before them.
The house was not open-house-ready.
Furniture was slightly out of place, the air smelled stale, and the kitchen counters had crumbs—an unforgivable sin in Phil's world.
Phil clapped his hands together. "Alright, men! We have exactly forty-two minutes to make this house so inviting that buyers will weep at the thought of leaving!"
Jon raised an eyebrow. "Not sure we can get that far, but let's do it."
Phil pointed at him. "Jon, you're on furniture duty—make sure everything is perfectly staged."
He then turned to Manny. "Manny, you're in charge of aroma! I need this house to smell irresistible."
Manny nodded. "I shall make it smell like a European café at sunrise."
Phil blinked. "I was thinking more like freshly baked cookies, but... sure."
Then, finally, Phil turned to his son.
"Luke," he said gravely, "your job is the most important of all."
Luke perked up. "Yeah?"
"Yes." Phil put a hand on Luke's shoulder. "I need you... to stay out of the way."
Luke's face fell.
"I'm kidding!" Phil quickly amended. "Sort of. But seriously, buddy, I need you to help me put up signs outside, okay?"
Luke sighed. "Fine. But I better get at least two cookies for this."
Phil nodded. "Done."
Jon worked quickly, straightening couches, adjusting tables, and aligning chairs until everything looked staged but effortless.
Meanwhile, Manny took his job very seriously.
He had found a stash of scented candles and was lighting them strategically across the house. However, he might have overdone it, because now the living room smelled like a bakery exploded all over the room.
"This smells like diabetes," Jon commented as he adjusted a lamp.
"I call it ambiance," Manny corrected.
Meanwhile, outside, Phil and Luke were busy putting up open house signs—creatively.
At one point, Jon glanced out the window just in time to see Phil standing on top of Luke's shoulders, hammering a sign into a tree while Luke wobbled beneath him like a baby deer.
"Should we stop them?" Manny asked.
Jon shrugged. "Let's wait and see if gravity does it for us."
It did.
A second later, Phil let out a yelp as he lost balance, falling straight into the bushes.
Jon sighed. "Yeah, that tracks."
With fifteen minutes left, the house was almost ready.
That's when Luke came running inside. "Bad news! Dad's stuck in a bush."
Jon closed his eyes for a brief moment before exhaling. "Of course he is."
Despite the many obstacles, they somehow managed to get everything done in time.
Phil dusted off his suit just as the first potential buyers arrived. He greeted them with a wide, confident grin, as if he hadn't just spent the last twenty minutes fighting a bush.
Surprisingly, the open house went well.
Better than expected, actually.
Jon watched as guests admired the setup, commented on the pleasant but not overwhelming smell, and even indulged in the cookies Manny had prepared (which, to his credit, were fantastic).
At one point, Phil even whispered to Jon, "Three offers already."
Jon smirked. "So... do we get a cut?"
Phil laughed. "Your payment is the life experience of making dreams come true."
Jon rolled his eyes. "Uh-huh. How about actual payment?"
Phil patted his shoulder. "I'll buy you dinner."
Jon considered this. "I accept."
As the buyers kept pouring in, Jon glanced over at Luke and Manny, both happily munching on cookies after their hard work.
He chuckled to himself.
Despite the madness, the missteps, and Phil's complete lack of time management, they had actually pulled it off.
Jon leaned back against the counter, watching Phil in his element, and shook his head.
This family is something else.
And Jon wouldn't have it any other way.