Will You Always Like the First Person You Fell For?
My name is Lin Xi. At first, I firmly believed the answer was yes—until I met someone.
In my second year of high school, I fell for a boy. I first saw him in the library. Because of the heavy academic workload, I would go there to study during summer and winter breaks. One day, as usual, I sat in my usual spot, focused on my books, when someone sat across from me. I looked up and saw a boy—he had delicate features, bright and clear eyes, fair skin, and soft, puppy-like hair that fell gently over his forehead. I thought to myself, 'He's so cute', but I didn't dwell on it.
Then, one day, I was feeling a little down and rested my head on the desk. I reached into my pocket for some chocolate to ease my stress but couldn't find any. Just as I gave up, a hand gently pushed a piece of chocolate in front of me. I looked up and saw him—now wearing glasses. He gestured for me to take it. I accepted it and whispered, "Thank you."
At that moment, I silently promised myself that if I ever saw him again, I would return the favor. But by the end of summer break, I hadn't seen him again.
When school resumed, I was in the cafeteria waiting in line for food. The queue was long, and I got lost in thought, not realizing the line was moving forward. Suddenly, a warm voice spoke, "Hey, you should move forward." Startled, I turned around—and there he was, standing right in front of me.
"It's you?!" I blurted out.
He smiled, "Yeah, it's me."
That was the moment we formally introduced ourselves. "I'm Nan Jun, first year junior."
From then on, we would always greet each other when we crossed paths.
One weekend, I ran into him again at the library. Sitting across from him, I quietly took out a piece of chocolate and slid it towards him. "Returning this to you," I whispered.
Later that evening, as my stomach started growling, I noticed he was still studying. I walked over and asked, "Nan Jun, do you want to grab dinner?" He looked up at me and nodded. So, we packed up and left the library together.
"Ugh, I'm so tired," I stretched as we walked.
He chuckled, "Yeah, studying is exhausting. But since you're a second-year, it must be even tougher for you."
"Stop calling me 'senior,' just call me Lin Xi. And yes, it's really tough with final-year exams coming up."
That night, we found a spot to eat and chat. I discovered that he was truly adorable. As I looked at his soft hair, I couldn't resist reaching out and ruffling it.
"You're so cute," I said.
He looked at me, stunned. Trying to play it cool, I grinned and said, "You can ruffle mine too."
I didn't expect him to actually do it. But the next second, his warm hand gently patted my head.
"You're cute too," he said.
From then on, we became good friends. But when I graduated, he came to find me.
"Senior, can we take a photo together?" he asked.
Though I didn't like him calling me "senior," I let him this time. "Of course, my dear junior. Stand next to me."
I knew he was tall, but this was the first time I realized just how much taller he was—I barely reached his shoulder.
"You need to lower yourself a bit; you're too tall," I complained.
"Alright, alright, today you're the boss." He bent down slightly to match my height.
Just before the camera clicked, he placed a hand on my shoulder and gently pulled me closer.
That was our first photo together. In it, a girl with glasses and a high ponytail beamed brightly, standing beside the boy she liked.
Yes, I never confessed my feelings. Even though I liked him, I felt we had met at the wrong time. He had to focus on his final exams, and I wasn't sure how he felt about me. So, I kept my feelings to myself.
After graduation, I moved far from home for university. When I started my first year and he was in his third, our conversations gradually faded. I knew he was busy preparing for exams, so I didn't want to disturb him.
In my world, it was as if Nan Jun had slowly faded away. I immersed myself in my busy university life, believing I had moved on.
Then, in my second year, during freshman orientation, I was handing out flyers for a club event. Suddenly, from the crowd, I caught a glimpse of a familiar figure. But just as quickly as I saw him, he was gone.
My heart pounded uncontrollably. I realized I had been lying to myself all along. I thought a year had made me forget him, but the rapid beating of my heart told me otherwise.
I muttered to myself, Lin Xi, there's no way he could be here.
Shaking off the thought, I continued distributing flyers. Once I was done, I planned to head back to my dorm but, for some reason, I bought a drink from the cafeteria and wandered around aimlessly, as if waiting for someone.
After a while, I sat down under some shade, closed my eyes, and enjoyed the cool breeze. But in my mind, his face appeared again—his smiling eyes, his warm expression. I missed him so much.
When I opened my eyes, I noticed someone beside me. Without looking, I got up to leave.
But then, a familiar voice called out, "Lin Xi, have you forgotten about your junior?"
I turned around—and there he was, standing right in front of me.
For some reason, my nose stung, and before I could stop it, tears started rolling down my cheeks.
He panicked. "Don't cry! I won't call you that anymore!"
I shook my head. "It's not that… I'm just really happy to see you."
After I calmed down, I found out he was now a freshman here.
"Well then, Lin Xi, senior, I'll be in your care," he said with a grin, extending his hand toward me.
I took his hand—still as warm as ever—and smiled back.
"Looking forward to it, Nan Jun."
At that moment, a voice inside me asked—Is this my chance to finally confess?