Chapter 194: The Feud of Confinement, Irreconcilable
In the circles of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law in later generations, there's a striking saying: "The hatred during confinement is irreconcilable."
A simple search online reveals countless examples, most of which stem from daughters-in-law experiencing mistreatment during their postpartum confinement period, leading to lifelong resentment toward their mothers-in-law.
What happens in just over a month can become an insurmountable hurdle in their hearts.
As the saying goes, "There's no smoke without fire." While the phrase "the hatred during confinement is irreconcilable" may be somewhat exaggerated, its prevalence as a hot topic in mother-in-law and daughter-in-law discussions indicates that parents-in-law must pay close attention to their daughters-in-law during this critical period.
In his previous life, during his later years, Deng Shirong spent his time reading novels, watching short videos, or catching up on the news.
Although the internet is filled with toxic advice and mixed content that's hard to verify, some insights are worth pondering. Deng Shirong consumed a lot of such advice, combined it with his own experiences, and gained valuable lessons.
For instance, how to treat his daughter-in-law was one of Deng Shirong's key takeaways.
The results speak for themselves. Since his eldest daughter-in-law married into the Deng family, the household has been harmonious. Everyone in the village envies his eldest daughter-in-law.
Many so-called postpartum grudges in later generations weren't as severe as they seemed. Some issues faded after the confinement period and weren't remembered for a lifetime.
But comparisons are inevitable. What might have been forgotten resurfaces when daughters-in-law discuss their confinement experiences with friends, classmates, colleagues, or other mothers.
When they compare their treatment to others, especially those they perceive as inferior, feelings of imbalance arise. What should have been forgotten becomes a lifelong grievance, and every mention of the confinement period turns into a critique of their in-laws.
Deng Shirong had heard plenty of such gossip in his previous life. For example, one mother-in-law slaughtered countless chickens and cooked ginger wine for her daughter-in-law during confinement, while another daughter-in-law never tasted chicken after giving birth to a daughter. Some daughters-in-law had to cook and do laundry the day after giving birth, while others didn't even have to wash their own underwear.
Since such comparisons are unavoidable, Deng Shirong made sure his daughter-in-law stood out. No matter who she was compared to, she would come out on top.
Thus, the postpartum treatment Zhang Xiuping received left the entire village in awe.
First, in terms of food, she had a chicken cooked with ginger wine every day, along with a variety of other dishes. This alone was enough to make every daughter-in-law in Thatchfield Village envious. No one else enjoyed such treatment during their confinement.
If food was about economic means, the rest was purely about emotional care.
For example, during her confinement, Zhang Xiuping never touched cold water, never washed a single piece of clothing, and even her bathwater was boiled with maple leaves by her sister-in-law and brought to the bathroom for her. She didn't have to hold the baby and soothe him in the middle of the night.
Whether day or night, if the baby cried for more than a minute, her sister-in-law would immediately appear and take the child away.
In short, Zhang Xiuping's confinement was incredibly comfortable. With good nutrition and a positive mood, her health improved daily. While other young wives felt like their confinement dragged on for a year, Zhang Xiuping barely noticed the time passing, and before she knew it, a full month had gone by.
"Ah Ping, if I could get even half the treatment you received during confinement, I'd be grateful to my ancestors!" Ou Guohua said with emotion.
Zhang Xiuping smiled. "Don't worry. I'll ask Brother Tai to talk to your A Yuan about this. Let's not discuss other things for now. During your confinement, you must be well-fed. I'm not saying you need a chicken every day, but at least have ginger wine with every meal.
As for the rest, it depends on whether your mother-in-law is willing to help. It's not appropriate to bring this up directly, lest your mother-in-law becomes unhappy."
Ou Guohua replied, "I'm not too worried about food. Even if Brother Tai doesn't mention it to A Yuan, I believe my mother-in-law won't mistreat me in this regard. After all, we haven't split the family yet. A Yuan is the pillar of the household. Anyone with a bit of sense wouldn't skimp on my meals during confinement."
Ou Guofang nodded. "Exactly. The money others earn combined isn't even a fraction of what your Yuan makes. If they're unwilling to feed you well during confinement, it's better to separate and live independently."
Ou Guohua sighed. "How many of us daughters-in-law don't want to split the family and live on our own? But it's not up to us. It's the parents-in-law who decide. If they don't agree to split, the family stays together."
Zhang Xiuping quickly advised, "Ahua, don't think about splitting the family for the next two or three years. If the villagers find out, they'll gossip behind your back. Of course, if your mother-in-law truly mistreats you, there's no need to suffer in silence. If your parents-in-law refuse to split, ask my father-in-law for help."
Ou Guofang added, "Yes, Ahua, don't worry. If it comes to that, with Uncle Jiu stepping in, it'll only take a word to decide whether the family splits or not."
Ou Guohua thought of Uncle Jiu's prestige in the village and smiled. "That's true. I'll talk to Yuan tonight and ask him to test my parents-in-law's attitude. Let's see if they agree to let me go to the county town for childbirth. Then, I'll see how they treat me during confinement.
As long as they don't go too far, I won't argue for Yuan's sake."
Zhang Xiuping smiled. "I'm glad you think this way."
…
As mentioned earlier, in the Double Prosperity region's full-month banquet customs, boys are presented first, and girls last. If a boy is born, the banquet can be held early, but for a girl, it can only be postponed.
Although Xiaodong'er turned one month old on November 11, Deng Shirong postponed her full-month banquet to the 17th.
On the afternoon of the 16th, guests began arriving, including members of the county theater troupe.
Those who came to help started slaughtering pigs and preparing time-consuming dishes in advance.
Over the past year, Deng Shirong's family had hosted several banquets of varying scales. His eldest daughter was experienced and could arrange everything orderly without Deng Shirong's intervention.
(End of this chapter)