It took me a second, but I came up with a solution.
I had options—none of them great—but the best one was exploration.
Even though I had walked for hours the day before and found nothing, sitting around wasn't going to change that. My only real choice was to head back into the unknown and hope I stumbled across something more edible than peat moss.
'Luckily, I have a secret weapon.'
'My almighty Compass!' I thought, ready to wander off in whatever eldritch squiggle direction this is supposed to be.
'...That's not north...'
'Not a problem.' I thought, slightly disappointed it's not conveniently in English.
The symbols were unfamiliar, but as long as I picked one and used it as a reference point, I could at least avoid walking in circles.
I was at a disadvantage, though. The trees blotted out the sky, making it impossible for me to see the sun. If I could, I might have been able to figure out which hemisphere I was on, determine north or south, and move in a direction where the climate—and hopefully the ecosystem—changed more drastically over time. A slight efficiency, but one that could make all the difference in a place this vast.
'My only option is to pick a direction and stick with it.'
After picking the direction symbol that looked the goofiest, I headed back into the "chavern" to prepare.
'hehe, Chavern.' I giggled. 'Funny name.' I thought, happy with the new name of my house.
First, I went in the kitchen and grabbed a dull knife. Not great, but better than nothing.
Then I found some cooking twine—which I was both surprised and grateful the previous owners had—and lashed the knife to the end of a mop handle, turning it into a makeshift spear.
Out back, near the firewood, I found a saw and brought it into the bar area. I used it to cut the seat off of a bar chair, then carved out two notches on the sides and threaded them with twine to create a crude wooden shield.
"I DUB THEE, THE SPEAR OF ADUN AND THE SHIELD OF PARIAH" I shouted, pleased with my ingenuity.
Finally, I took the dew-soaked rags from my water collection. I wrung one into my mouth for a quick drink, then secured the others against the handle of my shield.
With that, my preparations were complete.
All that was left was to follow the whims of my compass and pray. And pray I did—because if I don't find food soon, I'm pretty sure my new spear and shield would rot in the ground, never to be properly used.
And so I marched.
And marched.
And marched.
I marched so far that my rag water had run dry. I wasn't too thirsty yet, but odds are that I'd need to get more water before I headed back.
More marching.
Nine hours. My legs were giving out. My feet begged for mercy. My stomach threatened to implode. I felt like death—light-headed, malnourished death.
Worst of all. Nothing. There was absolutely nothing in vision and nothing had been in vision the entire time.
It befuddled me to no end. By now my questions were innumerable.
'Where the fuck am I?'
'When the fuck am I?'
'How does a tavern that clearly dealt with more than just plants obtain jack shit in the middle of the middle of the MIDDLE of NOWHERE?'
'Why the fuck am I?' Yeah, no way I'm answering that one. I'd need a philosopher and a couple shots of whiskey to even get close.
None my questions were being answered.
Then, something flickered in the corner of my eye. My heart leaped. Food? People? An answer? Whiskey?
No.
More trees.
"MORE TREES. FUCK!'"
I needed something. On top of dying physically I started going insane. I couldn't care less if a predator heard me yell and came running over. At that point I would have welcomed it with open arms saying "Sweet death, you have more teeth than I expected!"
Then, in the distance, a shape.
A hallucination?
A cruel joke?
No...
It moved.
A creature.
Large ears.
A rabbit. A big fucking rabbit.
'Doth thou giant ass ears deceive me?'
'Is that a hop skip and a leap of cooked mutton straight into my stomach?'
I was losing it.
And then it clicked. The gears in my head started to turn. This was it. This rabbit was my lifeline.
'Calm down.' I told myself.
I needed patience and stealth.
I wasn't in the right state of mind to figure out a trap or lure the thing toward me. All I could think of was killing it with my spear.
Luckily, it wasn't moving much. It was just nibbling at a purple flow on the ground.
Deep concentration cut out everything else.
Then, like a whisper in my bones—I felt it.
Magic.
That bunny had mana. And not just a small amount. It had lots.
I didn't dare approach any further. I felt it with all of my being. If I got any closer, it would detect me.
I hesitated, unsure of what to do next.
But I couldn't afford hesitation. At least that's what I told myself.
I put every ounce of focus I could muster and readied my spear.
It happened in an instant. The moment I went to throw the spear, my vision zoomed in and I knew exactly what I needed to do to hit the bullseye.
Never in my life have I ever thrown a javelin. I had no understanding of the technique, no knowledge of the aerodynamics, and no actual ability to throw a javelin. But this wasn't earth. I wasn't bound by conventional wisdom. Desperation took over. Instinct reached for mana—and it answered. I called out to the manifestation of my will and brought forth the first spell I had ever cast. A spell that, no doubt, was well beyond what I'm capable of.
Fwoop
Kshink
Dead. The dull knife lodged squarely between its eyes.
The rabbit noticed my Spear of Adun. Only a second too late.
As joy started to envelope me, so too did exhaustion. Darkness consumed my vision and the world went dark.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The darkness did not last long.
"Shit!" I bolted upright, clutching my stomach.
I scanned my surroundings. The rabbit was still there, my spear sticking out of its head like some morbid flagpole.
I staggered to my feet and approached.
'Damn.' I thought. 'That's one big bunny'
It looked to be the size of a full grown pig.
I was intrigued. 'How and why did these buggers evolve to get this big?' I thought.
But despite it being good that I now had a lot of food. It's size offered a significant down side.
'How the hell am I gonna lug this thing all the way back to the Chavern?'
Grilling it on the spot wasn't an option. No firewood. No way to suspend the meat. No reliable fire-starting method besides the ol' "rub two sticks together and pray" routine.
I considered shaving bits off a tree, using my spear as a spit, and trying the fire-starter-with-a-bow-and-two-sticks trick you see in survival documentaries. But… a dull knife wouldn't cut through bark easily, my spear would catch fire, and—oh yeah—I'd probably burn down the whole damn forest.
I needed a plan. Fast.
'Fuck the plan.' I thought.
'My 240lb 6'2" body's got more than enough calories to get me back while just dragging the damn thing.'
And so that's exactly what I did. I tied up the bunny using the twine around my shield, drank the water that accumulated in my rag while I was unconscious, and set off with my compass.