For an entire week, lightning rained down relentlessly—but only on Chunhe's hut. Every time he so much as tried to peek outside, another bolt would strike down as if warning him to stay put. The villagers, at first startled, soon grew used to the bizarre phenomenon, treating it as an normal day. But when the storm finally ceased, the land around them had been enriched, leading to an unprecedented harvest.
As the villagers celebrated their bounty, Hong Xian approached Chunhe hut, chunhe who was finally able to step outside without fear of being struck down.
chunhe "Come with me,"
"It's time you learned about the market."
Curious and eager for a change of pace after his week of confinement, Chunhe agreed.
The journey to town stretched over three days, the road winding through valleys and dense forests. The seven carts rumbled steadily forward, each loaded with baskets of fresh vegetables, sacks of rice, and pots of golden honey. As they departed, the entire village had gathered to see them off, cheering and waving.
"Bring back good fortune!"
"Don't let those city folks swindle you!"
Chunhe especially you chunhe don't swindle them
huh
"One glance at your face, and they'll think a bandit lord has arrived to collect his tax," Hong Xian teased chunhe
Xu Mei "True, true. We should have dressed you in black and given you a blade. That way, we could skip the bargaining and go straight to looting."
"Ah, but why should I sully my hands? With a face like this, I just need to stand there and let you lot empty their pockets for me. After all, what are minions for?"
"If I were a bandit, you'd all be working under me. And trust me, I'd make you lot useful.
Liu Fan, you'd be the decoy, with your innocent
Xu Mei, you'd be the one sweet-talking rich merchants into handing over their gold willingly.
And Hong Xian?" He tilted his head toward the old chief. "You'd just don't be useless."
"Listen to this tyrant! He's already planning his reign of terror!"
Liu Fan, guiding his own cart, laughed. "With that scowl of yours, they might throw silver at you just to avoid trouble."
Xu Mei leaned forward with a grin. "What if we don't get anything? Will you start robbing nobles for fresh meat?"
"Careful, Chunhe. If you glare too hard, the town guards might arrest you before we even get a chance to sell anything."
The group burst into laughter. Even Hong Xian, who often played the wise elder, had to wipe a tear from his eye. "I take it back! With a mouth like that, you're no bandit—more like a scholar who lost his way and decided to conquer the underworld instead."
"Do you ever stop running your mouth?"
"If I did, who would keep you entertained?"
"I forgot to pack salt."
The journey was long, but the real spectacle came when they set up camp for the night.
With sleeves rolled up and an air of lazy confidence, he crouched by the fire, pulling out fresh ingredients from their carts. His knife work was a blur, vegetables diced with such precision that even the most skilled kitchen hands would weep in shame. A fragrant aroma filled the air as he expertly controlled the fire, each dish coming together with practiced ease.
The aroma of slow-roasted duck filled the small tent , dimly lit lamp, mingling with the scent of fresh scallions and ginger. Steam curled from a pot of jasmine rice, delicate yet rich, the perfect complement to the feast laid out on the open land seats made by logs.
"Braised pork belly lifting the lid to reveal glistening, caramelized meat soaked in rich, savory sauce.
"Steamed fish with ginger and scallions,"
chicken wings, sweet and sour chicken, bone broth soup
The group was frozen, staring at the feast before them.
Liu Fan leaned over, watching Chunhe's effortless movements. "By the heavens... where did you learn to cook like this?"
Xu Mei swallowed hard. "You... you can't be serious."
"...tell me this isn't just a dream. How—how can food taste like this?!"
Hong Xian ate like a pig and gently put down his chopsticks. "Chunhe, are you actually the reincarnation of the Cooking God?"
Chunhe merely smirked, watching as they devoured every last bite with an almost religious fervor. He took his time, sipping his soup as the night deepened
"Believe what you want."
A familiar blue screen flickered in his vision—something only he could see.
–––––––––––––––––– [System Screen] Skill: Master Chef (SSS-Rank) Proficiency: 100% Dishes Cooked: 13,472 Titles: Culinary Tyrant, Flavor Alchemist, Demon Chef Special Traits: Instant Recipe Replication, Fire Control, Ingredient Optimization ––––––––––––––––––
[Cooking Proficiency: Max]
[Flawless Execution: Activated]
[Dish Buff: Vitality +5, Qi Circulation +3]
Taking a sip of soup, he gave them a lazy smile. "I just learned it myself."
Hong Xian nearly choked. "Yourself? How does someone 'just learn' to cook like this?"
Chunhe spinning his chopsticks between his fingers. "I was alone all the time. had no money to eat in a restaurent i mean inn. so i learned myself reading books. just a hobby of mine ."
"...Tell me the truth. Were you a chef in a past life?"
"Does it matter?"
Liu Fan wiped his mouth, looking half in awe, half in despair. "It matters if it means I can eat like this every day."
if we keep eating like this, I swear, I'd follow you anywhere.
"A man with hands like yours could change the world. Be it with a blade in battle… or a knife in the kitchen."
The others exchanged glances, waiting for more, but Chunhe simply kept eating. He wasn't lying—he had been alone. But the truth was far less dramatic than they imagined.
He had been a shut-in. The government had restricted him from leaving his house because he made a mistake, and after months of surviving on instant noodles and frozen meals, he had snapped. He had watched every mukbang and cooking video he could find, practiced sixteen hours a day just so he could eat something decent.
What started as boredom turned into obsession. From Michelin-star techniques to traditional recipes, he had mastered them all.
The moment he tasted real food he had cooked himself, he realized something—the world of flavor was infinite.
Now, watching his companions weep over a simple bowl of noodles, he almost felt bad.
Almost.
Xu Mei wiped a tear. "If you ever leave farming, become a chef. give us a discount."
Liu Fan clutched his bowl. "I'll kill anyone who tries to steal you away from us."
Li Chen nodded solemnly. "I never believed in gods, but tonight, I pray to you."
Chunhe leaned back, grinning. "Then pray I don't raise my prices."
The night passed in blissful silence, broken only by the sound of chopsticks scraping bowls clean.
By the time they reached town the next day, the group was full, satisfied, and carrying one unshakable belief—
Their bandit lord wasn't just a useless farmer.
He was a god of flavor in the kitchen.
On the second day, they passed through a small village where the locals stared curiously at their carts. A group of children ran up, their eyes wide as they pointed at Chunhe.
"Big brother, are you a bandit?"
The entire group burst out laughing while Chunhe crossed his arms. "Yes, and these fools are my subordinates. were here to rob you."
time passed after some rest
By the third day, the road smoothed out as they neared the town. The scent of the city—baked bread, sizzling meat, and a hint of spices—drifted toward them before the walls even came into view.
Hong Xian stretched his arms. "We're finally here. Try not to scare the nobles away, Chunhe."
"Can't promise that. If they try to haggle, I might just tell them to fuck off."
As the carts rolled past the city gates, the real challenge began. Would the townspeople recognize the worth of their harvest? Or would Chunhe's so-called 'bandit' aura scare off potential customers before they even had a chance to taste?
Li Chen shook his head dramatically. "It's worse than that. The real problem is that he actually has the skills to back it up. If this vegetable-selling business doesn't work out, he might just take over the underworld instead."
When Xu Mei playfully flicked a stray leaf at him, Chunhe raised an eyebrow. "Trying to show your appeal? If you wanted to claim me, at least bring an offering. I accept payment in gold for considering."
Xu Mei snorted. "Who'd want to claim you? You'd eat me out of house and home."
Chunhe sighed dramatically. "Ah, the tragedy of being too magnificent. A fate I must bear alone."
Even Hong Xian had his turn when he patted his round belly after stealing a few tomatoes from their stock. Chunhe clicked his tongue. "Old man, at this rate, you'll eat through our profits before we even reach town. Should we sell you instead?"
Hong Xian smirked. "You wouldn't dare. Who else would handle the negotiations?"
"Negotiations?" Chunhe scoffed. "With your appetite, you'd trade away our stock for a banquet and call it a bargain."
As they passed through, Hong Xian nudged Chunhe. "Alright, bandit lord, time to switch faces. Look too smug, and the guards will think we're here to collect protection fees."
Chunhe exhaled, rolling his shoulders. "Fine, fine. I'll try to look more... friendly."
Li Chen coughed. "make sure you don't give them nightmares."
why you little
they all laughed