Dove.
When I opened my eyes the blue flame was still there in front of me, almost licking my knees. It didn't hurt though, instead its warmth was soothing and calming. Cleo was still gone, a phantom or a dream stemming from a time of severe trauma, a concussion and maybe blood loss. Pushing up off the ground, I looked around for a second, hoping to prove myself wrong and find Cleo, before my eyes notice a door at the far corner of the room.
I'm unsteady on my feet but I slowly walk towards it. I turn the knob and try to push the door open but it's stuck. Bracing my shoulder against it, I apply more force until it inches open slowly. Inside is a bedroom with a staircase leading up.
The room is dusty and unused. A modest bed in the corner, a writing desk and a bookshelf full of faded tomes that were probably once vibrant sources of entertainment. There's a small wardrobe in the corner and inside there's a mix of beautiful fabrics. Unable to stop myself, I walk closer and run a finger over a vibrant purple gown. I used to wear things like this once.
----
Dove at age 7.
The music felt like a fever, my body got warmer and warmer the louder it became. I could hear drums and strange chanting echoing in my chest.
With the warm music comes lights. They twinkle in the forest, in the darkness, spinning about like a beautiful mirage.
It's then I notice that in between the lights is a woman, she's beautiful.
She has long raven hair, pale almost translucent skin and shining golden eyes. She pauses in front of me and smiles kindly.
"Hello sweet child, do not fear the darkness because we will guide you home." She whispers to me pleasantly.
"My daddy" I start, my voice muddled with tears. She pulls me into her embrace, patting my hair reassuringly.
"Yes, we'll find your daddy, do not fret sweet girl. We understand how important family is here and always protect our kin."
Picking me up, she walks deeper into the forest for a long time until I start to see the lights of the castle like twinkling little promises on the horizon. I grow excited and my tears slow.
"Yes! Yes! Daddy is in the castle!" I squeal and point, squirming in her arms with joy. She slows and looks me in the eye, confused.
"My little darling, that cannot be." She whispers confused, "for you are, like me, a Mat'ar and they would not allow a slave to live in the castle."
Me? A-a slave?
I shake my little head and point a chubby finger in her face, "You're silly, I'm a princess of Salva. My older twin sister Cecilia will claim the throne one day. I can't be Maataur, because my eyes aren't gold. My eyes are green. Thank you for helping me find my way back but you're wrong."
The woman gives me a sad look, "Sweet girl, there is only one princess of Salva."
I hold my ground, waving at myself, "If that was true, I wouldn't be standing in front of you right now. I won't stand for this nonsense any further, thank you for your help and I will repay you for it one day but I'm going home. Please put me down, I can find my way on my own from here."
With a sigh, she puts me on the ground, but she doesn't immediately let go of my shoulder. Instead she crouches low to look me in the eye, and brushes a thumb over my cheek to wipe the remnants of the tears from my face with incredible gentleness.
"My sweet girl, I know you won't hear me now but when you emerge from the shadow you'll be a marvellous sight to behold. Come find me then, come find me when you're ready to learn more. I'll do as you ask and leave you here, if you follow the lights you'll find your way home. I --" she pauses and places a hand on her chest for emphasis, "--Lila, do vow to teach you if you ever appear before me again. My tribe remains within this forest, as we have for a century before that and as we shall even as the human settlements eventually fall to the sands of time."
I shake off the strangely intimate gesture and confusing speech and run back towards the lights, to my family, as fast as my little legs can carry me.
When I arrived in the palace my sister, Cecilia, was still sitting in the garden looking at the water alone. Her face was cold and quiet, she got that way sometimes if I left her alone for too long. I steel my resolve and approach her.
"Cece" I start, my voice shakier than I'd hoped, realizing now that I can see better that my bright purple gown was a torn and muddy mess.
Cecilia gives me a sad smile, standing up and walking towards me. When she reaches me, she gives me a hard slap that makes my ears ring.
"Father told you not to draw attention to yourself, today you caused the entire staff to go search for you and you broke up my engagement. You hurt the kingdom today and that unacceptable." Cecilia hissed dropping her hand, sadness and anger and I'm not sure what else written all over her face.
My little hand holds my red cheek and despite the pain, I won't let myself cry.
"As the second child, you're meant to stay in the shadows unless you're needed. You know this." She continued angrily before storming off, leaving me standing there.
It wasn't until I was absolutely sure I was alone that I again broke down in tears.