Chapter 11:
The drums started at dawn.
A deep, rhythmic pounding shook the walls of Lucius's modest villa, rattling the clay cups on his table. He barely had time to pull on his sandals before the door burst open, revealing a wild-eyed Nikias.
"They're coming," the Greek gasped, his face slick with sweat. "Nero's sending them down the Via Appia right now."
Lucius didn't need to ask who. The system's alert pulsed crimson in his vision:
[Imperial Decree Enacted: 'Beast Matches' Mandatory
Participating Species: African Elephants (3), War Rhinos (2), Nubian Giraffes (1)
New Rule Modifications:
- Goals doubled in width
- Ball replaced with oxhide sack of wine
- Players may ride animals after 60th minute]
The streets were chaos. Merchants scrambled to pull their carts aside as the first towering shapes rounded the bend. Six African elephants, their massive feet shaking the ground, marched in perfect formation. Behind them came the rhinos—chains clanking between their legs—and finally, the absurdly out-of-place giraffe, its handler struggling to keep it from nibbling rooftops.
Atop the lead elephant, perched on a gilded howdah, sat Nero. The emperor's purple cloak flapped dramatically as he raised a jeweled megaphone:
"Behold! The future of football!"
The Circus Maximus had been transformed overnight. Workers were still hammering extra-wide goalposts into place as Lucius and his team were herded onto the sand. The usual white chalk lines had been replaced with red paint—"For better visibility when blood spills," Nero had cheerfully explained.
Julia Antonia materialized at Lucius's side, her usually impeccable coiffure coming undone. "He's gone completely mad," she hissed. "Those rhinos killed three handlers this morning."
The system's tactical analysis was bleak:
[Opponent Analysis: Imperial Beast XI
Strengths:
- Unstoppable charging power
- Intimidation factor (100% morale penalty)
Weaknesses:
- Poor turning radius
- Vulnerable to high balls (except giraffe)
Suggested Strategy: 'Matador Defense' - lure and redirect]
Vulso cracked his knuckles. "I say we fight fire with fire." He nodded toward the Briton chieftain, who was already eyeing the smallest elephant with disturbing calculation.
The Vestal acolyte stepped forward, her white robes fluttering. "The scrolls speak of Hannibal's men crossing the Alps with vinegar and fire to break rocks. Perhaps..."
Lucius's eyes lit up.
The opening whistle nearly went unheard over the elephants' trumpeting.
Nero's beasts charged immediately, their massive feet kicking up great clouds of sand. The wine-sack ball burst on first contact, drenching the nearest rhino—which promptly went berserk, chasing its own handler across the pitch.
Chaos reigned.
FC Roma executed their "Matador" defense with desperate precision:
- Nikias and the Vestal lured elephants into wide turns with quick passes
- Vulso distracted the rhinos by waving a red cloak (stolen from a horrified senator)
- The Briton chieftain somehow mounted the giraffe, using its height for aerial passes
At halftime, the score stood at an improbable 2-1 for the humans.
Nero, watching from his elevated throne, was not pleased.
"Boring!" he screeched, hurling a golden goblet onto the sand. "I want carnage! I want spectacle!" He turned to his beastmaster. "Release the backup players."
A hidden gate creaked open.
Three fully grown male lions sauntered onto the pitch—unmuzzled, unchained, and very clearly hungry.
The system's warning was almost apologetic:
[Second Half Modifiers:
- All animals now rider-eligible
- Lions gain +5 aggression per human goal
- Nero's patience at 20%]
The Vestal's plan was insane. It had to be.
As the lions prowled closer, Lucius's team scrambled up the only available cover—the goalposts. Nikias clung to the crossbar like a shipwreck survivor, while Vulso and the Briton balanced precariously on opposite uprights.
The lions circled below, tails twitching.
Then—inspiration.
"Remember Hannibal!" Lucius shouted, pulling the vinegar flask from his belt. He poured the acrid liquid onto his sandal and dropped it.
The nearest lion sniffed, recoiled violently, and sneezed itself into a daze.
The system lit up:
[Improvised Weapon Effective:
- Vinegar repels 70% of big cats
- Remaining 30% now very angry]
What followed was the most surreal fifteen minutes in football history:
- Players leaping between goalposts like macaques
- The Vestal singing hymns to confuse the lions
- The giraffe (now riderless) casually eating the netting
When the final whistle blew—mercifully early due to a senator's heart attack—the score remained 2-1.
Nero's applause was slow, measured.
"Clever," he murmured. "But next time..." His smile turned feral. "We play in the Forum. With more lions. And perhaps... a bear."
That night, beneath the Temple of Vesta, the resistance solidified.
Team owners from across Rome crowded the secret chamber, their voices low but fervent:
- The Ostia Dockers brought smuggled weapons
- The Collegia Butchers offered safe houses
- The Vestals provided ancient scrolls detailing "unconventional tactics"
Lucius unrolled a map across the altar. "Nero wants beasts? We'll give him beasts." His finger tapped the animal pens at the Forum Boarium. "But not the ones he expects."
The system approved:
[Insurgency Plan Formed:
1. Infiltrate beast handlers (completed)
2. Replace Nero's lions with drugged substitutes
3. Use controlled chaos to discredit imperial matches
Risk/Reward: High/Extreme]
As the meeting dispersed, the Vestal acolyte caught Lucius's arm. "There's more," she whispered. "The scrolls speak of a Greek fire brigade that once played football with flaming balls... safely."
Somewhere above them, an elephant trumpeted.
Dawn found Lucius summoned to an unlikely meeting—the private baths of Senator Marcus Drusus, ringleader of the anti-Nero faction.
The old patrician didn't mince words. "The Senate will fund your underground league," he growled, "if you help us overthrow that singing fool."
The system's political analysis spun wildly:
[Opportunity: Senatorial Backing
Pros:
- Unlimited funds
- Political protection
Cons:
- Becomes political rebellion
- Players become pawns]
Lucius exhaled slowly. "We play football. Not politics."
Drusus's smile was razor-thin. "In Rome, they're the same thing."
As Lucius left, a shadow detached itself from the colonnade—Decimus.
"Choose your next move carefully, football man," he murmured, polishing a dagger with his sleeve. "The game is changing."
The system's final alert pulsed like a warning beacon:
[Crisis Point Reached:
Football has become Rome's battleground
Final Prep Needed Before:
- The Slave Uprising
- The Great Fire
- The Emperor's Last Match]
Somewhere in the distance, an elephant answered a lion's roar. The beautiful game had become a beast of its own.