After the movie, which was unexpectedly fun, I went downstairs with all the lights almost turned off. The kitchen had no light, the dining room was dark, and the living room was also dark. The movie wasn't that long, but probably because of Irin's special investigation into me, she had already fallen asleep.
I am about to leave the house. I see the black figure in the corner of my eyes, where only the faded orange light shines through the back door of the house. I turn my face to look again. My eyes haven't manipulated me these days, and I appreciate that time, and now it happens again. The idea that someone would follow me like a shadow but not a particular shadow was a ghost—sometimes it was Winston, a guy I cracked his head with, and sometimes it was my mother, and sometimes I hoped that they wouldn't carry anything with them like a knife, a helmet or a gun.
My right-hand touches the door handle, and I'm about to push the heavy door gently so I won't wake people in the house.
"Hey,"
"Geez!" I cringe and scream at the same time. I turn to a guy's voice, and my eyes scream louder. My mouth is open a little, but my words won't come out.
"Are you stealing something?" He asks,
"No," I say as I look at his bright silver eyes in the dark room. "Are you?" I ask,
"Heh," He chuckles lightly as he steps closer to me. "Done with the movie night?" He asks,
"How did you—What are you doing here? Where's Ivan?" I ask,
He shakes his head with a smirk. "You always answer my question with a question," he says, looking at me properly. "He just got upstairs before you came down—we were just catching up in the backyard." He answers both my questions.
I nod slowly, and I push the door. His shadow covers my back. He lays his right hand over my head and pushes the door for me.
"I can do that—but thank you," I say lightly and walk out. I glance at him and see his tiny smile as he leaves the house.
As I see him under the streetlight, I think how real and unreal he is. My heart is pounding slower after he gave me a heart attack. I say nothing and walk in my direction. As I walk, the sound of the wind is more vigorous each day. It's telling me that the winter season is coming, and the fall is almost over.
"So, have you broken up with him yet?"
"For god sake!---Zygmunt." I flinch and turn around quickly after he whispers beside my ear from behind and out of nowhere. "You can't come to people like that," I say,
"Then, you should stop strolling on the street alone late at night like this." He says,
I turn to him as he moves himself to walk beside me. "I'm not strolling." I say, watching him walk ahead of me, "It's not the way to your home." I say,
"I know," He says,
I watch him standing there, waiting for me to walk with him. Then, I take a step closer; this is the second time we have walked together. We keep the silence as our friends, easy and calm. He doesn't mind. I didn't mind before, but now I want him to break the silence. As my eyes lurk and sneak to the background, especially the woods, Zygmunt catches my behavior; he chuckles—a lighter laugh in his throat and glances at me.
"What are you looking for? or Who—are you looking for?" He asks,
"Nothing," I say, turning to look straight at my house, which is not far from my sight.
"Your boyfriend?" He asks,
"No," I say,
"Who then?" He looks at me for the answer, but I say no more words, "So you broke up with him?" He asks,
"No," I say,
"Why?" he keeps on asking.
I stop walking and turn to him. "Because I like him," I say,
Then, he stops and turns to me. "But you don't love him." He says,
My eyes glare so deep inside his sparkling twinkle snow. Wondering and frustrated, he gives me mixed feelings—what does he want from me?
"Why do you want me to break up with him so bad?" I ask,
He steps closer, "I don't think you're not ready for my answer yet." He says,
Intrigue—intrigue indeed, "If I say I'm ready, will you tell me?" I stare at him and ask,
He uses his tongue to poke the inside of his left cheek and smiles—a tiny one, but somehow, it has a big impact on my body. He leans forward to me, "Don't forget to lock the door."
I glare at him, soften my eyes, and sigh through the wind in the tiny space that he gives me.
The feelings and the chills,
I don't know if the cool weather surrounding me or the air or ambiance around his body is freezing me like that man does
Dinner with other families started to be more common to me than having dinner with my own father since I can't even remember when we sat at the dining table and had a fabulous meal or even typical spaghetti meatballs. That will be an awkward moment when the time comes. But still, the idea of gathering with strangers who have high manners, I need to be proper and careful of my actions all the time, which makes me feel a bit awkward, especially with the Oskar family.
Tonight, I'm wearing white thigh-high tights with clips on—the second favorite, the first favorite was stolen, assume if I wasn't mistaken, under the ivory dress. I let my hair down and neatly tucked the front side behind both my ears. My high heels, which are only three inches, hit the floor not too loud, but it announced that the guest had arrived in the house.
Tytas holds my hand through the hall to the dining glamor dining room, seeing Mr. Oskar sitting at the head of the table with the newspaper; even the bouquet and different flowers in the beautiful vases and the glimpse of candle lights can't dim his businessman over there. He folds down half the newspaper after hearing about our existence. He greets me with a smile, and, about to put it down, Mrs. Oskar enters the room and gives him a look, so he gives the papers to the servant and secretly rolls his eyes. Mrs. Oskar greets me with an elegant facial expression as she dresses this evening. She also compliments my dress and looks, and she seems to be more pleased with my presents than usual. The excellent meals and dishes are fantastic, and some are a bit rare to have as I admire all the food lying around in front of me. Mrs. Oskar expresses her thoughts about which dishes are presented, especially for me. I am very grateful that she had the time to order the cooks what was good and what was better for my taste, and I think she would probably imply my taste from the younger me. However, I'm still grateful. We discuss mainly the future since the present is not so much going on, and Mr. Oskar doesn't want to bore us with his business. he congratulates me on the job—volunteering at the Apollon Hospital, and tells me how much it would help and support me in the future. And is a topic that I've never thought they would bring up, but Mrs. Oskar opens her mouth and gracefully mentions my mother but also down-to-earth. They were friends, but I can't say that they were besties as Mrs. Meride. Honestly, my mother's relationship and her connections were quite a mystery. She seemed to be herself and fun with Mrs. Oskar, and she looked at ease—safe with Mrs. Meride, so I really didn't exactly know what the actual relationship was and which was more profound, as like as not they were both accurate and also deep but in different ways.
After dinner, Tytas takes me to a place I have never been to in this house. The place behind his bedroom, which is outside the hall, cannot be accessed, and the door is the most neutral compared to the fancy, elegant interior. He slowly leads me inside, and my heart is pounding nervously and excitedly at the same time. My hair senses something that is inside—something Irin has told me about.
"I want to show you something, " he says as he pushes the door inside, holds my hand, and leads me inside. As I put my right foot in the middle of the entrance, he turns to me, "I don't want you to be scared."
Here we go,
He looks me in the eyes and is about to say something, but he doesn't. He steps back aside and exposes the dark red wall that is full of guns—handguns, rifles, and shotguns. Name it, I bet there are all, in this room—the gun collections Irin told me about. I pause almost at the center of the room, look around, and am about to step further. My body hits the couch; the massive couch is more like a bed to me. Tytas approaches me from behind slowly, touches my fingers, and I flinch a little.
"They are all yours?" I ask,
"Yes," he says lightly.
I glance at him, "Why do you want to show me this?" I ask,
He holds both my hands and turns my body to face him. "I don't want you to imagine things from others' point of view, " he says, looks at me in a gentle way, and glides his hands through my arms. "I saw the picture—my picture—in your room that night."
My eyes open wider,
"The picture of us," he says, leaning closer. I don't know if you found it or someone else. I want to explain, and I want you to see my point of view."
He knows if it wasn't me, and it must be Irin.
I shift my eyes away, turn around, and start to walk around the room as I look at the weapons—the worst kinds that always shoot my heart every time I see any of them, and they don't need to pull the trigger. Guns and I are each other's worst enemies, and I don't know that he knows. And if he knows, he has the balls to show this to me.
"So what's your point of view then?" I ask,
"It's a collective—I started to collect them last year. I like the design of each one, how each one works; the gimmick, the device, especially the vintage one, and the mechanism it works differently." As he says, he follows me from behind.
I look at him. " How does each one work? Do you use them?" I ask as I walk to the center.
"No," He says and stops in front of me, "I learn from the collectors, and I'm fascinated by it," he says,
I say nothing because I don't know how to respond. I shift my eyes and notice the other door inside this room. I walk to it, and about to push it, Tytas grabs my hand and lightly pulls me back to him.
"That—I'm not ready to let you see it." He says,
Looking at him with his sparkling green eyes and the dark red room surrounding him makes his color appear more charming, but this man has more secrets underneath his gentle royal presence than I thought, and I'm kind of scared.
He sits on the edge of the couch, holding my hands, and locks eyes on me.
"How are you feeling, Zia?" he asks as he faces up to me.
I breathe in, "A bit shocked," and say it with my exhale lightly.
Tytas holds my hands properly, and he licks his bottom lip. "But you're not running away, " he says.
Well, if I run, he will catch me in only five seconds. I barely ran away from Vik. How could I run away from Tytas?
"I'm also shocked—that you knew about this, but you're still allowing me to be with you." He says and puts his face on my stomach, "Even after—Vik happened." He says lightly and then looks up at me. "You're not scared of him or me. I don't know the reasons. You hardly tell what you feel or think…why don't you run away?" He asks as he whispers.
Because—I live through my fears every damn day, possibly I'm used to it, but it doesn't mean I'm not scared.
"You make me fall in love with you even more—Letizia." He says, and he holds my waist, "You say nothing, but your action tells me—that I'm—important." he glides both his hands on both sides of my body, "Am I important?" he asks,
I raise my hand to touch his face, rub his cheek, and stroke his hair back to his neck. "I—"
His eyes are all over my face, stretching himself up to let his lips closer to mine. "He's—still in your heart." He says as if he asks, "It's been years—I'm so jealous," he says with his lips gently accidentally touching mine, "I can't compete with him, right?" He looks up into my eyes, "Please, tell me, Zia, you must be swayed at least a little when we are together." He gently puts his lips on mine, kisses me softly, and slowly takes them out, "or when we kiss." he whispers. He purses his lips a bit and waits,
"I like you, Tytas," I say, and I know that this isn't a perfect answer for him.
But he quickly kisses me despite that. He moves his lips and hands together like he knows what he's doing. His tongue is under mine, and he kisses my entire mouth crazily.
"Ha—" I gasp,
He pulls his tongue away and slides his hands under my dress, over my thighs, and feels my tights. While his fingers touch the clips on my high knee tights, he looks at me, likely stunned and not afraid to grab my asses, and then pushes my body to him.
"Your parents," I say softly,
"They're gone to bed." He says and kisses my neck.
Is he going to do it here? And now, I am really curious why he had that picture in this room full of guns.
He keeps on kissing while his hands are under my dress and pulls out my panties.