Cherreads

Chapter 44 - I Want To Live

Holy Crap.

Two chapters in just as many days.

Believe me, everyone, I'm just as surprised as you are.

What can I say, after finishing this Volume on my Patreon, I'm feeling pretty enthusiastic about this story's future.

This is the final chapter before the final Arc to the volume begins. We've all had a long enough break from this story, let's get back to the madness that has made you all read this far.

Enjoy!

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'Focus.'

Sitting with his legs crossed and his eyes closed, Derek felt the wind make the hair on his forehead dance and noticed the cold of being so high up.

The rocky ground was uncomfortable, an uneven surface that presented pebbles on one's ass and dirt that would spoil their pants.

Before him lay the expansive canyon, its labyrinth-like structure sure to feel tortuous to those inside yet mesmerizing to those who peered at it from up above.

The moonlight illuminated the immediate crevices while the more narrow and hidden areas remained in darkness.

At least, this is what he assumed.

His mind was currently hyper-focused, blocking out any distracting thoughts whether it was the inner turmoil or the world outside.

So much so that he had no idea how much time had passed, nor did he stop to think. 

Why was he doing all this?

'Hypnotism.'

For hypnotism to work, the hypnotist would need to induce a relaxed and unassuming state onto their target, thus achieving a hypnotic trance.

In a hypnotic trance, the victim's mind would become vulnerable, not necessarily weak, but more prone to suggestion as if their mind forgot how it worked and the hypnotist's words were a lie to a fix.

Whether it was hypnotism of the conventional use or the type for more unethical purposes, both utilised these words as a "Guide" that would delve deeper into one's subconscious.

However, Derek was alone.

Not only that, a hypnotist hypnotising themselves was almost something unheard of. 

Countless things could go wrong, seeing as the mind was a rather delicate thing.

Despite this, it didn't make a difference to Derek.

Derek's mind was so strong that he could enter a hyper-focused state that was similar to a hypnotic trance.

Something he was already familiar with after having dozed off countless times, daydreaming with his supersonic perception unknowingly activated.

It had become so bad that despite only a few seconds passing in real-time, it was only after he'd caught himself dozing off and daydreaming for something equivalent for hours or even days.

Nevertheless, simply entering this state wasn't enough. And Derek knew this.

Therefore, he needed to guide himself while simultaneously keeping his mind blank.

His guide was nothing more than memories from the day he'd bathed in the Lazarus Pit. What he saw while in there, the voices he heard and the emotions he'd felt.

He somehow needed to keep these thoughts in the back of his mind while also staying completely thoughtless.

It was a gruelling task that he couldn't quite grasp. It was like drawing a square with one hand and a circle with the other.

Well, that was until…

[You have purchased 3 random stat points]

[Strength Stat has increased by 3]

[You have purchased 3 random stat points]

[Endurance Stat has increased by 3]

[You have purchased 3 random stat points]

[Intelligence Stat has increased by 3]

Finally.

His intelligence was technically now higher than that of a human.

And boy could he feel it.

A single rank up to rank A+ increased his thinking tenfold, like his brain was a sky-scraper and it just unlocked a new floor.

So much so that it took him a few seconds to regain his composure after not only that but the sudden boost he'd gotten in his strength and endurance stat.

But now, with his mind working harder than it ever had as if it were a supercomputer, something was changing until…

-SHUUU

'Where…'

Derek snapped open his eyes, only to find himself in an empty white space, unclear where it started even if it ended for that matter.

Standing straight up, noting he was still wearing the same clothes, down to the very dust on his pants from sitting on the floor, Derek's eyes locked on the only thing in the space.

'A door.'

A plain and simple door, standing upright despite no walls supporting it like normal. Despite the unusual scene, Derek wasn't surprised or taken aback.

'To be expected. This is the guide.'

The subconscious guide he'd placed in the back of his mind for when he finally entered his complete hypnotic trance.

Therefore, without wasting a second, he steps forward, raising his hand to grab the door handle.

He continued walking, silent.

With the speed he was walking and the distance between him and the door, it should have been uncanny for the small trip to take this long, as opposed to only a few seconds.

Instead, it took a few minutes, the door gradually inching closer as if to tease him.

But he had long noticed that the more steps he took toward the door, the more muffled his senses became as if he were underwater.

Not only that, but his heartbeat started to race due to something he hadn't felt in a while. 

Anxiety, nervousness and something else. Due to not knowing where these emotions were coming from or who was inducing them, it was hard to tell what exactly it was.

But it was similar.

Similar to the emotions he'd felt while bathing in the pit. Sadness and emptiness.

Nevertheless, he finally grabbed the door handle, taking in a deep breath, ignoring anything that tried to invade the most powerful tool he had in this unfamiliar space.

His mind.

And so, with a deep breath, he twisted the door handle and yanked at the door with a stern expression, ready.

***

Derek looked around, even the slightest bit of light failing to appear and allow him visibility. Even his enhanced eyes did little to help.

No, it wasn't just that.

'Something's different…'

Derek thought, raising his hand and staring at it. It was like something else was interfering with his senses and emotions.

Or rather, someone else.

What did he feel?

Despair.

"Huff…huff…huff…"

At that moment, Derek slowly turned to what sounded like muffled sobs coming from behind him, finally witnessing something in the dark and expansive space.

He stared at a tall female wearing a deep emerald silk gown, its gold embroidery hinting at what Derek assumed to be a noble status. 

The flowing sleeves and cinched waist added elegance, while a jewelled tiara adorned her hair, resting comfortably in her just as elegant blonde hair, seemingly to not draw much attention, but was still somehow hard to miss.

But most notably, what Derek couldn't help but stare at, was her blurred face.

"You…good…for…nothing…bastard."

Derek stared with an emotionless face as the female gripped her dress, slightly pulling it upward to raise her leg and stomp…on a frail boy lying in a fetal position below her.

There was a slight pause in her words each time she stomped down, the boy below her whimpering at her heels digging into his side and even head.

"You're nothing but the son to a whore. The only reason you're even alive is because of his majesty's kindness, yet you bring disgrace to my…to his name?" She spat, all while Derek watched quietly.

The boy beneath her feet, his black hair messy despite signs that there was effort once put into it.

With his head down, arms wrapped around his skull, his face remained covered, but Derek could still see the tears running down his face.

Not only that, he could feel it.

He could feel the pain of the lady's stomps as if he were the one being hit in the ribs.

He could feel her words boring down onto him like a ton of bricks, worsening a scar inside him that arguably hurt more than the physical pain.

And most notably, he could feel the sadness, fear and…hate.

Most likely at the female, but not just her…at the world.

'Why must the world be against me? Why must it make me feel so empty?'

Whose thoughts were these? Derek couldn't help but think about this in the next second of asking himself these questions.

His, or the boys?

The scene changed as the two figures disappeared from the dark, the scene returning to complete darkness.

But not even a minute later, once again, a scene appeared as the same boy, only his clothes now torn and ragged, sat on a wooden chair as the blurred female spoke with a similarly blurred-faced man a dozen feet away.

"He should be fine. Thanks to you, we were able to catch the human trafficking scum before they were able to put the boy through auction. You're a Hero."

"I'm just glad my boy is safe." The same female voice replied, this time far softer.

"But I can't hope to say the same for his mental health. He hasn't spoken a word since we rescued him. After all, this isn't the first time something like this has happened, right?"

The blurred female pressed her hand against her heart as mild sobbing could be heard from her, her head slowly darting from the boy back to the man before her.

"You're correct. Unfortunately, a boy of his stature who also wasn't born with a "Gift" may be seen as an easy target."

The man nodded in understanding, responding curtly, "The boy's lucky to have you."

"Thank you, I'll take it from here."

The man disappeared from the dark space as the female said this. 

And despite Derek not being able to see her face, he could almost sense her down expression switch to a deep and unfriendly scowl.

"Hasn't said a word?"

-SMASH

The female kicked the chair the boy sat on, shattering it as the boy helplessly hit the ground, his muscles naturally bracing themselves for what was to come.

"How close must you come to ruining this for me each time it happens? I don't care if you no longer like the taste of coffee, you drink it all at once for the sedative to kick in."

"And I don't care what the bad men did to hurt you, you always tell the authorities the story that will clear me as a suspect!"

Plotting an intricate kidnapping of an important child with human traffickers to get a rise in her status. All she had to do was turn a blind eye and "forget" where she last saw him.

Of course, she would soon double-cross the traffickers to repeat this scam infinitely, changing it slightly each time so it wasn't suspicious.

Somehow, Derek was able to know this much from what was happening. 

"Do you think his majesty won't one day throw me to the curb? If I can't keep my status as the best of his wives, he'll get bored of me. Yet you keep putting me up to failure!"

Once again, what Derek now assumed to be a shared thought, a question entered his mind.

He didn't dwindle on the man not staying as opposed to leaving him with this demon, despite him inwardly begging for it, instead, it was something else.

'Is my life nothing more than a tool to be used by another?'

For the next few hours, well, what Derek assumed to be hours, he witnessed figures enter the black abyss.

Whether it was the similarly dressed boys beating him, calling him a bastard or "Giftless", or the scene of his living quarters suspiciously becoming decorated in faeces, causing him to sleep in the cold outside with lurking animals while it was cleaned.

A cleaning process that took weeks to complete.

Each one posed a question that he would share.

'Why must I be so weak? Is powerlessness really something cursed at birth? I wonder what it would feel like to be…stronger.'

'Why must I be so different? Maybe if I was born different, they'd like me. Maybe…he'd like me.'

'I'd love to see what life would be like if perhaps I wasn't myself. Maybe then it would be a life worth living.'

Finally, a scene appeared of the boy kneeling before a seated figure, his face also blurred.

However, something was different about this man.

Despite wearing a rather obnoxiously large red royal mantle, his bulky physique still peeked through it, his strength oozing out of his eyes with nowhere else to go, like that of a sharp lion.

This time, Derek's plain expression twitched for a split second as he couldn't take his eyes off this figure, his heart racing.

"You…are a disgrace."

The figure's booming voice broke the silence, the boy flinching a little at these familiar words.

"Giftless, talentless, good-for-nothing and you are prone to the eyes of pirates who somehow manage to get their hands on you every other day of the week."

"You are not fit to carry the Bond name."

Derek stared as these words felt like a ton hitting the boy's shoulders as he held back tears.

"It is for these reasons that I have long meant to do this."

The boy slowly raised his head as these words entered his ears. Derek unconsciously braced himself too as if he knew what was coming.

"From today onward, you will be stripped of your Bond name and shall be banished."

The boy's heart dropped, the sentence replaying in his mind like a broken record.

"But…wait…"

"It is for your own good. For your lost honour. For #$%#$^@#$@#%@"

'This again?'

Derek clicked his teeth. Even while prying through his mind, this muffled audio like a radio with a bad signal almost censored parts of these sentences.

But the next words regained Derek's interest.

"Five Fables. That is all you will need."

"Five?! But father, that isn't…"

"Father? Have you forgotten? You are no longer a Bond."

Silence descended as Derek could feel this scene dwindling.

"You are no longer my son."

Darkness prevailed once again, replaced with the boy reappearing before Derek, only by himself this time with his face buried in his thighs as he sobbed.

Derek stood over the boy.

He didn't need to ask questions. He could already sense everything the boy was going through.

'Why? Why me? Was I a bad person in a past life? Why must the world persist in torturing me?'

"Why must it deny me happiness?"

The boy's words started to become vocal as Derek said nothing, staring.

"Why? Why?! Is it so hard to ask for peace? It is so hard to ask for freedom?"

"I wish. I wish I had the power to stop anyone who denied me anything I wanted. I wish everyone around me didn't make me feel as though life wasn't worth living. I wish death wasn't a better alternative. I wish…"

The boy looked up, his messy hair covering his upper face, but failed to block the burning green that peeked from his eyes, staring straight at Derek.

"I wish I could live!"

***

On a cliff overlooking a grand canyon, the moon loomed in the sky as a youth lay on his back, breathing heavily with one arm over his eyes.

Derek had exited the trance after an unknown amount of time had passed.

What of it?

Nothing that would help him in this world. Nothing about where exactly knowledge of this CW universe came from, who sent him here or what would happen once he obtained Five Fables, but that wasn't his goal anyway.

No, instead, he was able to achieve something else.

"I…understand now…"

He figured it out.

He figured out who Derek Bond was.

'Nobody.'

Nothing. 

Nobody. 

No one who had any business asking profound questions about what purpose or philosophy he should go by.

But ironically, in knowing this, he answered his questions.

You see, some people didn't have the luxury to ask themselves these questions. 

Some people only desired something that others would dismiss or take for granted.

Yet, despite being simple, it was the greatest and most valuable thing in the world.

"I…"

Freedom.

The ability to do whatever the hell one wanted with the power to make it so.

Breaking free from the chains of those who held you down, to maybe even find some who lift you up.

"I want…"

Tears streamed down the side of Derek's face as his arm remained on his eyes, laying backfirst on the dirt.

It was simple, yet to Derek…to the little boy crying in the dark corner, it meant everything.

"I want to live!"

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Next Chapter Title: Endgame

Like I said, I've ended the Volume on my Patreon, so if you're interested, check it out. I've got 15+ Chapters on there.

patreon.com/SonderNow

If not, the final arc starts next chapter anyways so enjoy.

Hm...should I ask for it?

Eh, what the hell. Scumbag for life.

Gimme dem POWERSTONES!

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