The parking lot was dark. Ethan hurried away from Jacques, clutching two plastic bundles of groceries. He tried his best to run, but Jacques caught up with him just ten steps before he reached his motorcycle.
Jacques lifted him by the waist and spun him in a circle.
They giggled in the empty lot. Ethan tried not to drop the groceries as Jacques kissed him from behind.
The headlamps of a passing car cut through the moment, scattering their romance. They moved to the side where their motorcycles were parked. Jacques had already taken the grocery bags and was trying to figure out how to load them onto his bike—but a biker's motorcycle wasn't made for grocery shopping. He frowned, clearly at a loss.
"Let me handle it," Ethan said, reclaiming the bags. He hung them between his legs, hooking the handles onto the plastic hook just beneath the handlebar—a perfect spot for carrying stuff.
Rain started falling at 7 a.m., just as they reached Ethan's flat. They were still talking as they climbed the stairs, Jacques carrying both of the bulky grocery bags despite Ethan's half-hearted protests.
"Lucky it's just the first floor," Ethan muttered, shaking water from his hair.
"Hey, I'm the one with the baggage," Jacques huffed.
"No one told you to carry them for me!"
"That's the point. Anyway, I left the stolen motor parts in your flat, just under your bed. I'll leave them there for a few days until I figure out where to sell them," Jacques added, walking behind him.
"Yeah, sure—" Ethan stopped.
Because he saw Aldo waiting at the entrance to his flat. He looked bored, like someone who had been waiting a long time.
"Aldo!" Ethan greeted him warmly. But hearing that name, Jacques's face darkened—grim, tense, like he was bracing for a fight.
"Hey, uh… you were in a hurry. You dropped this," Aldo said politely, handing Ethan a handkerchief.
"Oh, that's very nice of you," Ethan said, taking it. "You came all the way here just to return this?"
"Well, yeah!" Aldo smiled brightly. He didn't look at all like the aggressive man Jacques had seen in his dream.
"How long have you been waiting?" Ethan asked, concerned.
"Right after you walked off. It dropped, so I rushed over. But I guess you weren't home yet."
"Come in, let's have dinner together. It's raining outside anyway," Ethan said, pulling out his keys and unlocking the door.
"Oh—thanks, I appreciate it." Aldo glanced at Jacques then—and felt the unmistakable wave of hostility radiating off him. It was practically a war cry, though Aldo had no idea why this guy seemed to hate him. He pretended not to notice, keeping his tone polite and his body language neutral.
"Hi."
"Oh—have you two met?" Ethan asked, suddenly awkward. "Jacques, this is Aldo, he's my friend. Aldo, this is Jacques. He's my—"
"Boyfriend!" Jacques cut in quickly.
The bold claim made Ethan freeze. That was unexpected.
"Oh," Aldo looked a bit confused, glancing between Ethan and Jacques, clearly caught off guard. He quickly regained his composure, giving a polite smile. "I see..."
Jacques took a step forward, his gaze darkening as he clearly sized up Aldo, as if prepared to challenge him in an instant. "Yeah, he's taken so don't even think of---"
Before things could escalate, Ethan stepped in, pulling Jacques back into his chest and offering a comforting, calming embrace. It successfully disarms Jacques's killing aura.
"Aldo, let's get in," Ethan said, his voice smooth as he guided Jacques toward the door.
"We need to continue our discussion about chemotherapy—at least until the rain lets up. And you, my boyfriend..." He pulled Jacques even tighter to his chest, wrapping his arm around Jacques's stomach from behind. "Try not to kill anyone. You hear me?"
***
"Let me do it!" Jacques snapped, grabbing the knife and gently pushing Aldo out of the kitchen. He took over peeling the garlic.
"Looks like my boyfriend is trying to be helpful today. I hope you don't take it personally, Aldo," Ethan said, clearly amused.
"Oh, no—of course not. Sorry if I got in the way or anything," Aldo replied quickly, sitting at the table and doing his best to avoid interacting with Jacques—or provoking him further.
"And you, boyfriend, that's not how you peel garlic! Here, let me show you." Ethan took the knife and effortlessly smashed a garlic clove with the flat side of the blade.
"That's smashing garlic, not peeling," Jacques pointed out.
"It's the same thing," Ethan handing the knife back.
"Wanna know how to peel and smash something at once?" Jacques grinned.
Ethan gave him a once-over, suspicious and amused. "Don't you dare."
Jacques moved toward him, reaching for his side like he was about to start undressing him. Both burst into laughter as they wrestled playfully.
***
A few moments later, dinner was ready. Ethan plated a pork belly and ham burger for Jacques, while he and Aldo shared a spicier dish—rica.
"Does it taste good?" Ethan asked, glancing at Aldo mid-bite.
Aldo nodded. "Yeah, but… the bread is a little burnt."
"Charcoal's good for detox," Jacques chimed in dryly, chewing with zero remorse—and sending Ethan into a fit of laughter.
"Well, thank you, boyfriend, for taking care of my intestines," Ethan said, patting Jacques's arm. His touch is always gentle.
Then, in perfect overlap, Jacques asked, "How close are you two?"
At the exact same moment, Aldo said, "When did you two meet?"
Both of them fell silent. They looked at each other—realizing they were digging for the same thing.
"I met Jacques this morning. He got lost and hungry, so I fed him," Ethan answered simply. Then he turned to Jacques. "Close enough to share underwear."
Aldo burst out laughing, clearly remembering the situation. "Oh no, no, no—don't bring that up! Nobody wants to remember that!"
"What? What?" Jacques felt his ears heat up, but he tried hard not to look jealous.
Ethan? He just laughed it off.
"Ethan, it still gives me the creeps when I remember that! You're such an idiot, I swear!" Aldo laughed again—loud, easy, and a little too triumphant for Jacques's liking.
To Jacques, it didn't sound like casual laughter anymore. It sounded victorious, Jacques couldn't help but imagine how it happened—some absurd, blown-out version of how they'd ended up sharing underwear. The mental picture was ridiculous… and somehow it made his ears burn even hotter.
Jacques went quiet. He folded his arms across his chest, his face suddenly serious.
He was starting to wonder if this was even worth fighting for anymore. Because right now, he wasn't sure he cared whether Ethan still belonged to him or not.
Sharing underwear?
And now—right in front of him—they were laughing about it like it was some kind of inside joke?
How dare Ethan have inside jokes with someone else—and Jacques wasn't part of it?
And even worse: that someone was trying to steal Ethan away from him.
This... was unforgettable.
Suddenly, a flash of memories occurs into his vision, they are very vivid and happens within seconds.
Jacques remember the life where he live with Ethan in a secluded village. They both are adults, in their 20s. Jacques is finally free to build his camper pod—his dream, his vessel to travel the stars.
One night, as the camper pod nears completion, Jacques and Ethan sit side by side in lawn chairs.
"It's almost done," Ethan says. "You'll be leaving this planet soon."
"We'll live together. Traveling from star to star," Jacques replies, smiling.
But after that night, Ethan begins to change. He grows distant. He never home, and sometimes won't even sleep on the same bed as Jacques.
At first, Jacques think Ethan probably busy doing something, but never cross his mind that he got someone else. But his absence starts to gnaws at him, it makes Jacques frustrated. So Jacques starts to leave his camper pod, and walk outside, calling Ethan's name again and again—but Ethan is really hard to find.
Eventually, Jacques finds Ethan, but with someone else.
But it's not Aldo. It's one of his friends.
… they seem so close.
"It's okay, we're just friend", and he invited Jacques to have dinner together. But Jacques can see it. The way Ethan laughs at his joke, and the way they talk to one another; full of inside jokes.
Who am I to you?
However, In his heart, he believes Ethan didn't mean it. They just really good friends. Soon, the camper pod is finished, and they will leave Planet Alayan. Ethan will come with him, so it's understandable if Ethan want to spend his time with his friends before they left.
Days passed by, but Ethan never returns.
Eventually, the camper pod is complete. and it's time to go. So, Jacques comes to sees Ethan, with leather jacket, khaki pants, boots on his feet, a sweater around his neck, a rucksack over his shoulder.
"I'm leaving," he says.
He thinks Ethan will ask to come with him. He thinks Ethan won't want to be apart.
But he's wrong.
So wrong.
Ethan only smiles lightly, like it's a casual goodbye between friends.
"Oh, then… good luck. Goodbye, Jacques. Have fun."
Not only he betrayed their shared dreams together, but also, he let him go that easily.
Those words feel like betrayal.
Ethan had found someone new.
And so, Jacques climbs into the camper pod. He tries his best not to feel anything. Not to break.
But as the pod rumbles beneath him, preparing to launch… the pain is too much.
Betrayal.
How could you? Choose the planet over me?
The pod breaks through the atmosphere. The stars draw closer. In mere minutes, Jacques is up there—among the stars.
It was his life long dream. His life goal. He's been chasing it from loop to loop, rewinding time every time he failed.
And now that he's finally here…
It feels empty.
The stars. The nebulae dancing. The vast, infinite universe stretching out before him. So many mysteries. So many worlds to see.
But none of it could eases the pain in his chest.
It all means nothing without you, Ethan.
With tears in his eyes, Jacques reaches for the oxygen switch.
He turns it off.
And lies down on the bed.
The camper pod he carved with his own hands… wire to wire, metal to metal, .... now becomes his coffin.
At least, he sleeps among the stars.
And now, even when he remembers everything, he still choose someone else over Jacques.
Maybe—just maybe—it really was over. Maybe it was time to walk away.
Because maybe, it was really never meant to be.
It's over.
It's done.
"Really?" Jacques asked Ethan, his expression dead serious.
"Come on! What do you think we're doing? It's just underwear," Ethan said, wiping tears from his eyes, still laughing too hard.
"Yeah, it's just normally happens when you've known someone for years," Aldo cut in, his voice sharp. "Nothing compared to someone you just met and already call you his boyfriend."
Ethan laughs harder, and Jacques could swear that Aldo, feels more victorious.
"Wow, really," Jacques exhales. He could not believe what he was dealing with right now. "Okay, I get it."
Jacques stands up and grabs the plastic bundles with partition of the biker's motorcycle he robbed this morning.
"Jacques?" Ethan calls.
Jacques make sure nothing got left behind, and he open the door and walk out.
"Baby, where are you going?" Ethan calls again, this time more urgent.
The door slams shut. Leaving Ethan and Aldo in the flat in silence.
Aldo shook his head and chuckles, "kids"
However Ethan stops laughing at all, he keep being back and forth between go and get Jacques, or accept that this is the best exit way.
"Finally, that annoying kid left. Gosh, he was so obnoxious, who does he think he is?" Aldo laughs, "he just knew you this morning and thinking that he can claim anyone he want? bah!"
Punished by the Thunder storms in his heart, Ethan immediately stand up and rushes to the door, without even bother closing it, and without even getting his shoes or flip flops on, he rushes down the stairway and to the parking lot, hoping that it's not too late.
Jacques was just leaving the parking lot when Ethan caught up to him, stopping him at the front of the motorcycle.
"Jacques, we were just teasing you—it's not what you think," Ethan said, breathless.
But Jacques looked at him with a flat expression. No anger, no sadness, no tears. And that scared Ethan.
"Move," Jacques said coldly.
But Ethan didn't move. "Please, get off the motorcycle. We need to talk."
He knew—deep in his gut—that if Jacques left now, he would never come back. His intuition screamed it, confirmed by the storm raging in his chest.
Jacques had already made up his mind. He got off the motorcycle—not to talk, but to shove Ethan aside.
He said, cold and sharp, "Joking or not, it showed me where you stand. You made me the joke, and you expect me to laugh along with you two? Laugh at how irrelevant I am to your life? How he's more a part of it than I'll ever be? And you fed that. You liked it."
"No! No, it's not like that! There's something you don't know about me!" Ethan cried, clutching at Jacques's shirt.
"What is it that I don't know, huh? Everyone else seems to know everything about you—except me! So who am I to you, Ethan? What the hell am I doing here if you can't even let me in?"
Ethan knew—if he told Jacques the truth, maybe he could make him stay. But it would mean Jacques giving up his dream. And if he stayed silent, Jacques would never know… never know the pain Ethan had endured just to protect that dream.
Jacques shouldn't give that dream up. They had lived that life before—in another version of time—and it had destroyed him from the inside and he hides it with a mask, pretending that he was happy. Watching that happen had hurt Ethan more than anything. But knowing that he was the reason for it?
That was unbearable.
Jacques continued, his eyes blazing, every word striking straight to the heart. "You crossed the line. And that showed me exactly where I stand in your life. We keep trying, but it never works, does it? Loop after loop, and we're still stuck in the same place. That's a sign. This was never meant to be. Goodbye, Ethan. Have fun."
Jacques got back on the motorcycle. Ethan lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Jacques's neck, holding on tight.
"Don't go…" Ethan whispered between his tears. And he meant it. "Please… I love you. I love you, Jacques."
"Love my ass," Jacques muttered, shoving him off.
Then he drove away.
Ethan's legs gave out, and he collapsed to the asphalt. The rain kept falling—thicker now, pounding the ground—but the air felt warmer compared to the cold spreading through his chest.
That's the moment when I finally realized that..... you are the one that I want.
I love you more than my fear.
***
"If you want it, you gotta go get it."
What do you want, Jacques?
I want my dignity, my dream, my life.
With or without you, I will live my dream.
You can't take the sky from me!