Previously on MILF Mountain…
Kazuya barely survived the Mom Wars.
Mona and Eleanor have allied.
Now… he is trapped in the deadliest fate imaginable.
MORNING IN THE MILF-INFESTED BASE CAMP
Kazuya woke up to a horrifying sound.
Mona: "Sweetheart, rise and shine! Breakfast is ready! 🍳"
Eleanor: "Darling, I ironed your clothes. ✨"
Kazuya screamed.
Sylvara, fully dressed and sipping coffee, grinned. "Morning, babe. How's it feel having two moms now?"
Kazuya trembled. "This is worse than death."
Bradimus leaned in, whispering. "Dude. We have to get out of here."
Lady Ravynne, also sipping coffee, nodded. "Agreed. They've turned this place into… an inescapable Mom Fortress."
The Goose: "HONK." (Translation: "There is no escape.")
Kazuya gulped. "No. No, we can escape. We have to."
Sylvara raised an eyebrow. "Escape? Babe, are you saying…"
Kazuya clenched his fist. "**I'm saying… we have to BREAK OUT OF MILF MOUNTAIN."
The camp fell silent.
A bold and completely unnecessary anime-style logo appeared in the sky.
🔥 MISSION START: OPERATION MILF BREAKOUT 🔥
PHASE ONE: AVOID THE MOM CHECK-IN
Kazuya and the team sneaked through camp.
They had to avoid two deadly obstacles:
☠️ Mona's Motherly Check-In ("Sweetie, have you eaten? Let me fix your hair.")
☠️ Eleanor's Passive-Aggressive Guilt ("Oh, going somewhere? No, no, it's fine… I just thought we'd spend some time together. But, I understand…")
Bradimus: "Dude, this is impossible."
Lady Ravynne: "Have faith. The Chosen One always finds a way."
Suddenly…
Mona's voice echoed from behind them.
"Kazuya, where are you going?"
THE WORLD SLOWED DOWN.
Kazuya panicked.
Sylvara acted fast. She threw a smoke bomb.
💨 POOF! 💨
Mona waved the smoke away. "Oh, you kids and your magic tricks."
But by the time the smoke cleared…
Kazuya and the party were gone.
PHASE TWO: THE MOM HOMING INSTINCT
They ran.
They dodged.
But no matter where they went, Mona and Eleanor always found them.
Bradimus gasped. "How?! How are they tracking us?!"
Lady Ravynne narrowed her eyes. "The Mom Homing Instinct. A mother always knows where her child is."
Kazuya paled. "So… there's no escape?"
Sylvara: "There's one way."
She pulled out a forbidden scroll.
Lady Ravynne gasped. "No. You don't mean—"
Sylvara nodded. "The only way to escape is…"
THE CALL-YOUR-MOM FIRST TECHNIQUE.
Kazuya's hands shook. "No… no, I swore I'd never use it…"
Bradimus: "It's the only way, man!"
Kazuya clutched the scroll.
He took a deep breath…
And activated it.
A glowing spectral phone appeared in the sky.
It rang… and rang…
Then…
A voice answered.
"Hello, sweetheart! It's been so long since you called! How's life? Have you been eating? Are you sleeping enough? You know, I was just telling Aunt Margaret about you—"
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Mona and Eleanor FROZE.
Their eyes glowed.
Mona: "Oh. OH. HE CALLED HIS REAL MOM."
Eleanor: "We… we've lost."
They dissolved into nothingness.
The entire MILF Mountain Fortress collapsed.
Kazuya fell to his knees, exhausted. "It's over… we're free…"
EPILOGUE: THE NEW QUEST
As the party walked away from the ruins, Kazuya took a deep breath.
Bradimus patted his shoulder. "Dude. You won."
Sylvara grinned. "Yeah. You survived MILF Mountain."
Lady Ravynne: "What now?"
Kazuya stood tall.
He looked at the horizon.
And smirked.
"We find the next adventure."
The Goose: "HONK." (Translation: "And I will bring chaos.")
🔥 TO BE CONTINUED… 🔥