The first woman in a month, deadly glints from the tree tops, and my first Home Run in a while.
I grabbed the gun from the house and loaded a full magazine into it, then slung it over my shoulder. I grabbed the mostly empty health potion and the small escape potion and put them in my bag, which I also slung over my shoulder. After a second, I switched the straps around so the gun strap was on top, then headed out to the fence.
"Let's see," I said, "The goblin ran this way. I don't sense the shadow around so-"
I hopped the fence easily, despite my bulk. Forcing myself to let go, I held the spear protectively as I jogged through the dense woods. Thankfully, the afternoon sun lit my way clearly. Unlike the twilight on my first day. The goblin made an obvious path as it wildly swung its sword. Of course, if the goblin didn't know where it was going then- wait. How would I get back? I couldn't rely on this trail.
I turned around, still able to see my fence. I could put some light up or leave a more obvious trail…
"Hey," I said to the tree, "Fall for me."
CRACK!
The tree tipped over and fell away from me, perpendicular to my house. I probably should have hit it from a different angle so it pointed towards my home. Ah well.
I kept jogging, occasionally knocking down trees to point at the ones further back. However, I stopped when I heard the sounds of battle. Creeping through the woods, glass jars tinkling against each other, I realized that I was extraordinarily bad at stealth.
Better to get there quickly.
Classical sounds of war clamored above my wobbling sound effects. Metal clanging on metal, the familiar sound of goblins dying, warcries in a language I didn't know. Occasional sounds I didn't recognize crashed through the forest. Big sounds. I felt goosebumps. A goblin splatted nearby in an angry puddle.
A clearing opened ahead of me and I skipped. People! I peered around a tree like a shy balloon and analyzed the situation.
Slaughter, death, strewn weapons and bones before a wall of stained steel. Green, black, and sickly yellow blood glistened in the sun. The shield wall surrounded several horses and less armored people. And in the middle-
A woman!
Okay, I understand what that sounds like. But I hadn't seen another living being in a month and a half. And there, in a stained riding dress and holding a large wooden staff, was a beautiful woman. Fantasy beautiful, an unrealistic improbability.
And I was immediately repulsed.
It's a knee-jerk reaction. My mother drilled it into me. Her beauty was frequently flaunting itself from the magazine racks. Judging me every time I went shopping.
Beautiful people were cruel. I knew it couldn't be true about everyone, but I allowed myself this pregidous. Perhaps the men would be down for a conversation, if I could cross the language barrier-
The woman raised her staff. What- Magic! Was she a wizard, about to shoot a fireball?
A glittering sword, glowing and pinkish, appeared in the air. It spun, humming dangerously like a lethal Beyblade, and flew through a dozen goblins, spraying black everywhere. And her face seemed…bored.
"Ah," I said to myself, "Aloof. I hate being right."
I glanced over my shoulder nervously. These people were well armed, experienced, and winning. Yet they looked ragged, tired, dirty in a way that gets ingrained for a week. Still, they fought with precision and strength. Teamwork, splitting the enemy in four.
Meanwhile, I had no one to watch my back. Anything could stab me in the back. Theoretically, I should be able to take more damage than that but…
The tree I was hiding behind might be strong enough for me to climb. At the very least, the goblins would have a hard time reaching me there. A safer way to wait for the end of the battle.
I used to climb trees when I was a kid, and I found the sticky pitch of pine familiar. Adhesive. Ah well, at least I wouldn't fall.
I found a decent vantage point and plunged my spear into the trunk, not trusting the branches to hold me this high up. Juggling the gun around that spear was tricky, but I managed to get a perch on the tree. I lay my rifle along a nearby branch and tried to find something to do. I took careful aim, watching the battle progress. Once they finished the battle, I was going to approach them and-
I saw a shadow move, high in a tree across the clearing. I squinted down the scope on the gun, scanning the area as my leg tingled. Then I saw it. A Cheshire smile.
Scurvy Knaves, I thought as I felt my heart thump, of course. It would be here.
That thing filled my nightmares, and I desperately wanted to know what it was. But shadows always cloaked it, and it never showed itself when I wasn't outside the shield. But surely, it wouldn't be able to kill me quickly now. I only had 15 HP when I last fled from it.
Of course, I had never found my cut off foot. Just my slightly shredded shoe which had been thrown back at the shield one day. (I had decided to go shoeless since then, and I had grown tougher but I really needed new shoes.)
I lined up my rifle, but the distance was too far for accuracy. I had practiced accuracy shots on the farm, but that had been limited to the length of the land. This clearing was easily bigger than that, more of a field, and my aim was already unreliable. Still…
It wasn't targeting me. I could feel that, and it was a clever monster. It had baited me into a trap, it could certainly pick out the most valuable target. The mage woman.
It would not be so foolish as to attack when the girl's guards were close. Especially that one guy with a special design on his breastplate. Which meant that it would attack only if the formation broke, which would be at the end of the battle. I had time.
Still, I didn't let myself relax. The shadow could change targets to me, and who knew what it was thinking. So I kept my gun trained and steady on the area right behind the mage woman. Because if anime taught me anything, it was that a surprise attack always comes from directly behind the target.
Of course, whether that applied in this world was yet to be seen.
I'll admit, spending a solid twenty minutes staring just beyond an unreasonably attractive woman wasn't as tedious as I thought it would be. Yes, I despised what personality vain beauties had, but that didn't mean I wasn't attracted to them. It had been a long month and a half, and I could see her clearly on the edges of the scope. Dressed like any attractive lady in a fantasy world.
Nice.
Still, I found other things quite pressing and problematic. Most pressingly?
I was straddling a metal spear. One wrong move and the threat of imminent agony kept my mind otherwise occupied. It felt like forever, but the men eventually eradicated the goblins. The final goblin was caught in the Mage's magic and flung high.
"Aaeee!" the goblin spun into the sky.
"All right," I muttered, glancing up, "that was the last one. As long as it doesn't land on my shield and rush back, we should be fine."
I shifted a half inch, the most I could dare, and winced. That would need ice.
Now that the battle, their formation broke as soon as the order was given. I prepared myself, focusing back on the mage woman. She was talking animatedly, although I couldn't understand their language. Something she said seemed to irritate the special soldier, and he walked away.
Game time.
Breathe. Safety off. Finger on the trigger. One shot, no burst. No wind. Steady.
A shadow glided across the ground. THE shadow. There was no time to think.
I didn't hesitate.
BANG!
My ears rang and I pulled the scope back onto target as I scanned the dust-filled scene. I had to have hit the monster. Living the best I could meant saving people like I always wanted to do.
Ding!
Through the scope, I caught the princess scrambling for her staff. Where was the Shadow? A splash of silvery blood, and I saw it. The shadow, without a smile, looked straight at me. Dark flesh pulled taught as it crouched to leap. I fired.
BANG!
The shadow staggered, a blessedly mortal movement. Perhaps it could be killed? But just as I started to pull the trigger again, the shadow leapt. Not for me, but rather the shadows of the trees in the distance. Fleeing.
Or circling around to kill me.
"Tart faced sour guts!" I said, flicking the safety on and slinging the gun back across my shoulder. I managed to slip onto a lower branch and pulled my spear out with a tug. Now all I had to do was get down and run as fast as I could.
And, of course, the branch broke beneath me.
"AAh-ugh-aahug-" I screamed, the wind getting driven out of me as I fell down the branches like a game of pinball.
I landed on the ground (eventually), gasping wordlessly for air. Once I relearned how to breathe, staggered to my feet. I looked at the people who had formed back up and I met the eyes of the beautiful mage woman. I had saved her life. She knew that.
I looked away, seeing something I didn't recognize in pretty eyes. I had gotten blood on her dress, and the silver blood clashed with her muted color scheme. She was probably upset about that.
Either way, the shadow was coming for me. Probably. I cheerily waved to the only humans I had seen in a month and then fled the way I came.
Running towards the last tree I cut down, I scanned around me for the shadow. I was beginning to feel its hateful smile, but couldn't tell where it came from. It was either still far away, or not smiling that much. I ran straight home, following a felled tree pointing to the next felled tree, zigzagging along the path I made.
Still, I could feel it's smile. Maybe I was hallucinating it, but I didn't want to check. Bursting through a thicket, I continued on despite scratches to my exposed skin. Burs and branches stabbed painfully into to my feet, but I powered through. My meager t-shirt and jeans were giving serious 'distressed' vibes. Of course, I was distressed, so I guess I matched.
Still, distressed should not be paired with morbidly obese. The threadbare torn clothing didn't reveal cute curves or a six pack, it revealed a pasty balloon trying to fit through a balcony a chain-link fence.
I pulled a hard right, following the direction of another tree I felled as I poured on the speed. I could feel the smile fade behind me as I widened the gap. Soon I would be home and safe and- and-
It had been too far. Surely I cut the trees closer together than this. It's probably just a bit further. Any second now. Any second.
I pulled to a stop in a tiny clearing, sun pouring through the gap in the trees. I gasped, heart hammering, unsure if I could still sense the smile. What I did know was that I forgot that the last tree was pointed in the wrong direction. Backtracking was my best bet, but the monster would be that way. And I couldn't wait here.
I need to get my bearings, I thought, and lose this grinning freak.
I backed up from the tree and sunlight touched my skin as I squatted. Only one answer for that then.
"Terror JUMP!" I cried, utilizing my skill as I exploded into the sky.