Parker had a lot of questions in life, but right now, the biggest one had to be—who the hell told these guys that wearing suits made them more heroic? Seriously. Was this, like, an official Olympian policy? Were the three big boss gods—Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades—actually out here coaching their kids on fashion choices?
"Listen, son, if you're gonna save lives and be a beacon of hope, you gotta do it in a designer suit. Humans respect a crisp lapel."
The idea alone made Parker want to laugh. Maybe it worked in the movies, but in real life? Theseus standing there in his stupidly well-tailored suit just made him look like some overpaid security guard cosplaying as a superhero. Like, what was the message supposed to be? That he was classy while punching through walls?
That he could kick ass and attend a gala on the same night? The heroic drip made no damn sense.
