I had underestimated the goons sent by the Baron, they chased Lafool and I through the endless forest, of course left alone I could have easily left them behind if it wasn't for my eternally loyal servant..... seriously though, how can one be ugly, short and slow? Truly a sad trick fate has played on my short legged friend, Even more of a reason why I couldn't leave him behind my loyal aid.
Anyway, thus began my new adventure, we went from town to town, meeting new friends, overcoming new obstacles and my personal favorite... nightly adventures with the towns beauties, Hahaha! Don't worry ladies Gaston is enough for everyone. Anyways, such were the tales of my life, never hungry, never a dull moment and my bed never cold, however, all good things must come to an end and every journey has it's obstacles, just like how the sweet honey is at the expense of the hardworking bees, my nightly adventures were gotten at the expense of husbands who were not attentive enough and Father's who were too strict with their marriage ready daughters. Obviously, this group of husbands and fathers weren't too happy when they discovered the nightly activities of their wives and daughters.....but who knew they would actually band together to try and get rid of me; *sigh* It's truly sad, how I am always pursued just for my gorgeousness... truly sad indeed.
I and Lafool were chased out of the town by this band of furious fathers and husbands. Their pursuit was like a clingy middle aged woman, unending and surprisingly strong despite how they looked. It also didn't help that my loyal servant, Lafool, would stop to catch his breath every few miles, I had to carry the weakling through most of the journey, but as life had shown me, good things happens to good people like me. I and Lafool stumbled upon a little town most didn't know about as it was close to the Castle of the the Forgotten King which was still a mystery most didn't want to come near, but to people looking for a place to hide it was a haven, however, little did I know it was also where I would meet...her.
During the few days of settling down and making sure our chasers were gone, I had already gathered a group of admirers as well as some of the few beauties this little town had to offer and although these bed warmers weren't the best on my record but a man had to eat and they were the best this town had to offer, that is...until I met her. I had heard rumors of a famous scientist who recently moved into town with his daughter, now the scientist I could care less about but his daughter on the other hand was said to be a beauty never before seen and that she instantly took the title of the prettiest flower in town just from stepping into it. Initially, I was sceptical of these rumors,'what do these town munchkins know about beauty' I said.
However, I soon ate those words when I saw this said beauty walking across the town street, I was completely dumbfounded. I didn't even know where to begin with, her hair was brunette and she had no makeup powder yet had a unique attraction and natural look. She had brown eyes that seem to sparkle and lips that seemed to speak to me without moving. She wore a simple gown that reached all the way to her ankles but it did little to hide that huge— Hahaha! Gaston likey. Without further ado, I puffed up my magnificent chest muscles, checked my chiseled face; which looked gorgeous and finally walked with large strides towards this peerless beauty who although didn't know it yet was about to be my greatest conquest yet.
She walked into the building that stored books that had writings in them and kept them on shelves; although I never knew why. I followed her into this building, where it seemed she was well known as everyone was greeting her when ever she passed by, but never mind that, I've finally seen a chance to introduce myself to this beauty. I ran ahead of her and hid behind one of the shelves ready to ' accidentally' bump into her which will bring something into her life that will forever change it for the better....me.
It didn't take long for her to come over in which I executed my plan perfectly. I quickly stood in front of her and put on my most convincing surprised face, obviously not forgetting to flex my bulging muscles, but not too much of cause, wouldn't want to scare the poor thing away.
" Woah! Hey~ careful dear, you almost bumped into me, Haha! But don't worry, I know how huge and muscular I am than others Hahaha!! My name is Gaston by the way, what's your " I said with confidence.
" By the gods your loud" I heard a feminine voice say.
" Haha! Well it's nice to meet you 'by the gods you're lou— wait; Huh??".
Confusion was set on my face as I looked towards the beauty who at some point had a scowl on her face, although she was frowning she still looked absolutely beautifu— eh? Are her lips moving.
" Do you have muscles for ears" she said surprising me out of my thoughts
" Huh? Wh— What do you mean?" I said confused on how this conversation was going
" Didn't you hear what I said before" she said with the same scowl on her face, which was still beautiful.
" Well, eh...no?" I said managing to gather my thoughts
" So you can hear me" she said with her left eyebrow raised.
" Ah, yes….…I guess?" I said marveling in her facial expressions
" Alright then since you can hear me, I'll repeat myself 'Please excuse me, you're blocking the way" she said these words slowly as if trying to make me understand.
" Sure no pro— Wait! What!??" Was she rejecting me.
" I thought you said you could hear?" She said as her face went back to a scowl.
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
My thoughts were interrupted and I was brought back to the present. I took in my surroundings and remembered I was in bedroom of a low end tavern reminiscing about my past and how I got to the lowest point in my life.
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
" That had better be the cook with my meal" I said with growing frustrated at the repeated knocking that broke my thoughts.
I stood up and walked towards the door, not forgetting to bob my head on the way there due to the low ceiling as the floor squeaked because of my weight.
*Squeak*
*Squeak*
I opened the door with vigor, gaining a creaking protest from the door as I looked for the cause of my growing frustration. However to my shock I saw no one there, instinctively I looked down....yet, still no one, out of habit I looked even lower.....ah! Finally after looking lower than my head would have naturally allowed me, I saw the cause of my initial confusion. Standing in front of the door was my loyal aid, Lafool, but he seemed to be squirming about like had something to say.
" Spit it out Lafool! " I said remembering my initial frustration.
" Th—Th—The guards" he said as he seemed genuinely scared to even properly form a sentence.
Seeing this I immediately frowned, could it be Lafool was being bullied by the town guards. Immediately my frown turned to full blown furry, not only was I forced to hide in this town at the edge of the kingdom but now even guards of this dung infested spot dare to lay their hands on my man servant.
"Lafool get me my sword, I'll show those pathetic town guards why I have yet to be defeated" I said through my gritted teeths, so what if they're town guards at worst it means sleeping in the forest again, and as for the possiblity of me losing...never crossed my mind, I have fought throughout my life and never lost once, infact most of my battles were against groups of men in which I either defeated them or was quick enough to live another day.
I immediately started walking only to feel something tiny gripping my leg, I stopped and looked down only to see Lafool gripping my leg as he looked up at me soo scared that he was practically crying as he screamed.
" ROYAL!!!!" He shouted with tears and snots fly in the air.
" What?" I said my voice was sharp as my anger was now mixed with confusion.
"Gu—Gu—Guards! THE ROYAL GUARDS ARE HERE!!!!!!"
Lafool's words echoed in my ears, as the air grew cold to my skin as the situation dawned on me.
" WHAT!!! ".