Hey, Kid.
-And you all as well, folks-
How have you been?
Good, I hope.
My questions are never rhetorical, you know?
Feel free to inbox me!
Or not!
No pressure!
But I will always be here should you need to talk, vent, cry, laugh, or whatever suits you.
People need people, yeah?
I have been okay.
Better than I've been in a while.
I had been losing a lot of sleep over that whole debacle with my coworker and the...N.S.F.W. picture.
My morals are just so staunch that it was really, really bothering me.
I finally got a chance to speak with her, and she insists that she didn't see anything!
Either she is lying to me to make me feel better, or she isn't, and I am -and have been- overthinking this entire thing!
Maybe I am, and she really didn't see anything, and it's all in my head.
Maybe I am not, and she did see something, but she is uncomfortable and won't admit it.
Maybe she really didn't, and has no issue at all with me.
Maybe she did see something, and she liked it, so she is waiting for a time to speak up?
Maybe she did see something, and she is waiting to blackmail me!
UuuuuuuuuuUUUUUuuuuUUuuUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!
What do I do!?
Maybe I really am just overthinking.
My head won't leave my head alone.
I will figure it out, lbvs.
Till then?
Lock your N.S.F.W. folder, folks.
Or an awkward situation might force you a bit later on.
Enjoy.
-----
September 16th, 2018.
-----
Dear You.
I am so tired...
Me and (who I assume is your mom) made up.
Sometimes things take time...
Just have to be patient.
Just have to let things play out at times, and just keep (or try to keep) a calm, open, and understanding mind.
You will meet some strange people in your life...
Be humble.
We are all HUMAN.
-Dad.
-----
Sometimes I wish that I could remember a lot more of the details that surrounded these situations, you know?
I may have some of them "cataloged" in one of my old journals or another, lbvs.
This argument?
I can't recall what it was about or who.
I just know that it was obviously heavy enough to do lasting damage.
I hate that...
Such small things would cause the fragile balance that we would maintain to shift very suddenly in one direction or another, often to my detriment.
I have never been one to argue, you know? I grew up in a relatively loud environment that was constantly bustling with the racket and noises of not only whatever my mom and stepdad were up to, but also that of five to seven other children at all times.
Not to mention the fact that each of us had our own plethora of friends.
It was quite a busy, hectic, and chaotic environment.
One that I sought to make my adult life the opposite of, which didn't seem to mesh very well with the more 'electric' lifestyle of my then partner.
While I was -and still am- one for a blunt and book or a video game, she was more inclined to indulge in several shots and blaring rock music lol.
We were opposites that attracted pretty well, until we didn't.
These things can happen, you know?
I was so madly in love with her that I just...I would look past any and everything.
Above all else, Kid...I just wanted YOU.
I wanted you to be a thing, whether myself and your mom worked out in that capacity or not.
I will always love her, but I had gotten to a point where I just couldn't take the wait or the weight anymore.
I could feel the end coming, and I fought it.
I fought it for at least four more years before I finally found the courage to walk away for my own sake...
I hate that I had to.
But bah, lol.
That is a story for another time, Kid.
I would have hated to be a single parent, but I would have hated more to stay with someone if we could not make it work, JUST for the child.
I personally feel as if that sort of mindset is quite toxic and can only lead to more problems.
Problems that will inevitably bleed into that child's life as well.
-I have no idea what or who I was referring to when I said you would meet some strange people, and to be humble...
But I meant it then, and I mean it now.
Life is weird.
You will meet some WEIRD ass people.
Be humble.
Live and let live.
That can and will get you pretty far, Kid.
I am sure I will see you back here among these pages soon.
We have a bit more of a journey to make together.
Me, you, Kid, and this little crowd of loyal Readers we've managed to gather here around this tiny fire pit of ours.
It is a bit cozy here, is it not?
You are all always welcome.
Till next time, folks, safe travels.
And as always:
Stay safe.
Stay healthy.
Stay vigilant.
-Redd.