The gym descended into chaos like a romance-themed zombie movie. Students clutched their chests, moaned Morty's name, and began staggering toward him like a hormonal stampede. The love potion, catalyzed by the airborne flu virus, had gone full Cronenberg—again. Jessica tackled Morty to the ground. "You're my soulmate!" she screamed, eyes wild.
"Nope. Nope nope nope!" Morty wriggled away and sprinted for the door, a dozen hormone-crazed teens close behind.
'He sure is enjoying himself,' Richard thought, a small smile spread on his lips as he called Rick. Rick stumbled in from the emergency side entrance, panting, hair disheveled. "Alright… okay, maybe there were a few bugs in the formula."
Richard, still watching from the corner and completely untouched by the chaos (thanks to a personal micro-environmental bubble), raised an eyebrow. "A few bugs? Rick, you weaponized teenage desperation. It's like watching a dating app go nuclear. Although it is very fun to watch."
Rick wiped sweat from his brow. "It's not that bad."
Just then, Coach Ferrell dove headfirst through the DJ booth, snarling, "Morty is MINE!"
Richard dryly muttered, "Yeah. Manageable." Inside he was laughing his ass off, this was way too funny. 'Morty is living the life…' Richard thought as he watched the civilization collapse around him. Rick eventually got Morty out of there as soon as possible, leaving a bunch of people falling over a Morty clone with no life. Soon they realized that it was a fake and began to go outside.
{Back at the Smith House}
The family had barricaded themselves inside the living room. Rick was working at hyper-speed on his portal gun, cursing and belching. Morty hyperventilated in a corner. Summer yelled at her phone—somehow, her TikTok followers were still begging for updates on the "apocalypse prom." Beth loaded tranquilizer darts into a vet gun. "This is your fault, Rick!"
"Technically, it's the flu season's fault. But sure, blame the guy with the best intentions and worst track record," Rick snapped.
Jerry, meanwhile, peeked out through the blinds like a terrified meerkat. "They're…they're climbing the mailbox!"
Richard sipped coffee from a mug that read 'Existence is a side quest.' "Rick, how's that 'safe' potion working out for you? I'm just asking so I can calculate the sarcasm-to-sincerity ratio for my next eye roll."
Rick growled. "Alright, genius-lite, you got something better?"
Richard stood up slowly, cracking his neck. "Better? No. But more effective and less idiotic? Always."
He pressed a button on his wristband. Holographic strands of DNA and mutating viral structures danced in the air. "I've been analyzing the pathogen since the dance. The virus bonded with the potion's pheromone compounds and spliced with multiple flu strains. Cute trick. Unstable as hell."
Jerry, to everyone's surprise, had armed himself with two broomsticks taped together like a staff. "I'll buy you time!"
Summer blinked. "Dad, what are you doing?"
Jerry turned dramatically. "I'm being the hero this family never asked for!"
Beth snorted. "Oh my god, he's serious." Meanwhile, Richard thought 'Somehow my instincts tell me that he will surprise me.'
"I will need 5 minutes, if you die, I will not revive you, so don't die," Richard said under the surprise gaze of others, while Jerry felt touched but wiped his tears and charged outside, wildly swatting mutated, love-struck townspeople. Some ran. Some confessed their love to him. One of them tried to propose. Jerry screamed.
Richard watched, unimpressed. "You know, I expected him to cry and pee himself. This is actually… mildly admirable. In a 'watching a puppy learn quantum physics' kind of way." 'My intuition sometimes pulls out the fun in stuff,' he thought.
Rick adjusted his goggles. "Alright, Einstein 2.0, what's the fix?"
Richard smirked and held up a syringe filled with swirling silver-blue liquid. "The virus evolved to target Morty's DNA, but I'm a singularity—immune to contamination. I created a neutralizing agent using my genome as the base. Inject this into the water supply and boom, mass cure."
Rick scratched his head. "Huh. That's… pretty impressive."
Richard jabbed the syringe into a stabilizer module and tossed it to Rick. "Just don't fumble it like your parenting skills."
Rick grumbled but opened a portal to the town's water purification plant. "I'll handle the delivery. You watch Jerry not die."
{Meanwhile – Jerry vs. Love Zombies}
Jerry had somehow scaled a traffic light. "I AM YOUR GOD NOW!" he yelled, hurling pretzel sticks at people.
Summer peeked outside. "Is it weird I'm proud of him?"
Beth shrugged. "Honestly? Little bit."
Morty, still cowering inside, looked up at Richard. "S-so… are we good?"
Richard raised his coffee while smiling like a madman watching Jerry be amusing as hell, said, "Once Rick gets back, the town will go back to not wanting to sleep with you. So… mostly."
A distant explosion rocked the air. Pink mist evaporated from the horizon. Rick returned, slightly singed but grinning. "Antidote in the water. Give it ten minutes." Students across town started collapsing like balloons with holes. By morning, no one would remember the incident, thanks to a neural recalibrator Rick tossed into the air like confetti.
{Back in the Kitchen}
Jerry limped into the kitchen, covered in lipstick, glitter, and one glittery shoe. "I… I did it."
Richard looked at him for a long moment. "Congratulations, Jerry. You somehow didn't die or doom us further. I'll add it to your highlight reel. It's got three seconds now."
Rick slapped him on the back. "That's one more second than last month!"
Morty groaned. "I never want to go to a dance again."
Richard nodded. "Good. Society doesn't need more mating rituals disguised as punch-drunk hormone festivals."
Beth sighed. "Same time next week?"
Everyone nodded. Rick belched. "Wubba-lubba-dub-dub."
Richard raised his mug. "May God look after us."
Rick retorted, "Never thought you believed in god, did you turn Christian after your breakup?"
"Holy shit Rick, not everything is about my breakup. Can you go one fucking day without mentioning it?" Richard snapped his head to Rick and spat out a string of curses.
"Hahaha, no," Rick said and dodged a bunch of lasers being shot at him by Richard. 'Why did I choose this family again?' he thought in dismay as everyone laughed around him.