"You may take Mr. Potter back to Hogwarts promptly, trainee Tonks."
"Err," Tonks said.
Amelia Bones glared at her. "Is there something wrong with my request?"
"No!" Tonks said, raising her hands. "I can get him back there! Nothing at all to it! It's just… are you alright, Boss? You're looking pale."
Amelia Bones pulled her coat tighter around herself, sinking back in her chair to hide her trembling legs. Underneath its fabric folds, she wore nothing but the remnants of Harry's cum.
"Your concern is noted, Trainee," Amelia said. "If you would truly like to ease my worries… Then do as I say. Promptly."
"Yes Boss!" Tonks snapped off a salute.
She led Harry out of the office, pulling him along by the hand.
The office was just as crowded now as when they entered. It might've even gotten busier. There were more than just Aurors running around. Clerks, other ministry officials, and visitors called in for statements or complaints all crowded the busy rooms. As they passed a branching hallway, a voice made Tonks and Harry stop.
"This is ridiculous! It's absurd! Look me in the eyes and tell me that again, if you're man enough!"
The response was too quiet for Tonks and Harry to make out, but it presumably consisted of looking the man in the eyes and telling him whatever it was again, because soon the shouter was back to shouting.
"I'll have your head! I'll ruin your life, and the lives of every single member of your family! You won't survive this I tell you, you won't!"
The door flew open. Out exited Lucius Malfoy in the flesh, his naturally-pale skin flush with anger.
He didn't even spare a glance for Harry and Tonks as he swept past, two targets he would've normally delighted in ridiculing. His strides were long as he left the office in record time.
"Dad?" Tonks said.
Harry stopped watching Malfoy in time to see a man with light hair and a slight gut emerge from the same door. He had a book tucked under one arm, and a large smile on his face.
"Hey there Nymphadora!" he greeted with a wave.
"Dad—" Tonks hissed.
"I'm not calling you Tonks," said Ted Tonks. "That's just confusing."
He walked over, studying Harry. He held out his hand.
"I'm Nymphadora's father," Ted introduced himself. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Harry was exhausted, and to be honest, quite ready to go to sleep. But he made sure to shake the offered hand. Ted Tonks was a good man… And Harry respected any Muggleborn man who somehow managed to fuck his way into the Black Family (even if it got him and his wife burned off the tapestry as soon as the news came out).
"Harry Potter," Harry said.
"Ah! I should've figured," said Ted. "I heard you got kidnapped."
"Fortunately, your daughter swept in just in the nick of time," Harry reported.
"Did she now?" Ted looked at his daughter. He was much sharper than he often acted, and in moments like this one, you could see it. "That's fortunate."
"Dad, what are you doing here?" Tonks asked.
"Working. What do you think? I know my cases aren't quite as flashy as yours, considering they stick to the courtroom and all, but they still get me out of the house from time to time.
"Is someone suing the Malfoys?" Harry asked.
"People are always suing the Malfoys," Ted said. "You just wouldn't know it, considering ninety-percent of them get bought off, and the last ten percent end up with a corrupt judge."
"Can a lawyer say that?" Tonks asked.
Her father shrugged. "I just did, and I haven't combusted yet… So I'll go with yes."
"Lucius must really hate parting with his money if he was that mad about making a settlement," Harry said.
Ted Tonks paused. He seemed to be fighting a smile.
"I know I said his money solves every case, but it might be closer to ninety-nine and nine tenths of cases."
"He's lost some?" Tonks said.
"Not yet. But this time… Well, I can't spill the details. You should be hearing about them first, Harry."
"Me?"
Tonks looked suspicious. "What did you do this time?"
"I don't know!" Harry protested.
Was Malfoy taking the fallout for the dragon attack? He'd gotten off light after the Quidditch World Cup, and last Harry checked, your son having a micropenis wasn't a suable offense. For once, he didn't think he was behind something.
"You'll see soon enough." Ted clapped him on the shoulder. "Good meeting you! And in the future, be careful. My daughter tries her best… but you're probably better off not relying on too many rescue missions from her. She's liable to trip."
"Dad!" Tonks complained, but her father was already walking away.
"He's nice," Harry said.
"Yeah, yeah." Tonks pulled him along. "Let's get out of here, before anyone else finds time in their busy schedule to insult me."
O-O-O
Even a day later, signs of what had transpired were visible at Hogwarts. A large swathe of grass had burned away, and in one place, it seemed unable to grow back, no matter what anyone tried. It was as if every last root in that one spot had perished with no hope of repair.
Harry paused on the lawn, staring briefly at the hollowed-out and crispy wreckage of the Beauxbatons carriage.
"I swear I didn't…" he said.
Shaking his head, he finished the walk up to the Great Hall.
Tonks left him at Hogsmeade, returning to the office. She told him not to get into any trouble, but her eyes didn't fool him. Not only did she not believe he would listen, she was hoping he wouldn't, giving her another chance to stop him. Harry loved a bit of ambition in his hero.
As soon as he stepped into the Great Hall, conversation stopped. He'd arrived right in the middle of lunch. Students stopped eating to whisper to each other, many of them pointing at him, and it wasn't just the ones from Hogwarts. Viktor Krum stared stonily at Harry as he passed. Most of Durmstrang was seated with Slytherin, while Beauxbatons was more split. As Harry walked past, a voice called out to him.
"Looking to get kidnapped again, Potter?" Draco asked. "If it was me, I would've hid out for a few more days, just out of embarrassment."
There were giggles along the Slytherin table. Harry cocked his head.
"Draco, I really couldn't be less surprised that your first resort is running back to your mommy."
"Jealous, Potter?"
"Of course I am," Harry said. "Your mother is one sexy witch. I'd run to her in a heartbeat… and more."
He kept walking as Draco attempted to summon a comeback. He was too tired to deal with that boy at the moment.
It took him five seconds after reaching the Gryffindor Table to realize he should've skipped lunch entirely and gone straight up to his room for a nice nap.
"Harry! Harry! Are you alright!"
"What was Tom Riddle like?"
"How'd you get grabbed!"
Harry blinked, holding his hands up as if they could shield him from the verbal barrage.
"Please, please, one at a time!" someone said fiercely.
Harry sighed with relief. "Thank you… Fleur?!"
The part-veela smiled at him.
"You are too sweet, Harry," she said with a blush.
There were a few other Beauxbatons sitting at the Gryffindor table, now that Harry looked for them, but Fleur was by far the closest. She'd somehow managed to move directly next to him, despite the fact that someone else had been there when he sat down.
"I didn't expect to see you here," Harry admitted.
Not so soon, at least. He was sure she'd pay him a visit, but he definitely didn't remember her eating at the Gryffindor table in the past. Fleur nodded somberly.
"After the poor fate our dear carriage met, adjustments had to be made. I suggested that we integrate in with the students of Hogwarts, staying with them. To deepen school relations, of course." She paused. "I am ready to deepen our school relations any time, Harry Potter."
More than a few students suddenly coughed on their drinks, while Alicia Spinnet stumbled as she walked past, heading toward an open seat beside Angelina Johnson.
"She's staying in our dorm," Hermione said from across the table.
"Oui," Fleur said. "I asked to stay in the boys Gryffindor dorm, but your Professor McGonagall would not allow it."
"I wonder why," Harry said.
"The two of you know each other?" Dean Thomas asked.
He was usually always together with Seamus Finnegan, his best friend, but on this afternoon Seamus was nowhere in sight.
"We met this summer," Harry said.
"When?!" Hermione asked.
"At the Quidditch World Cup."
Lavender Brown, sitting next to Hermione, suddenly gasped.
"You cheeky fucker!" she exclaimed.
On the Hogwarts Express, Harry had told her and her friends that he watched the World Cup from a VIP box, and went home with a veela after. Harry shot her a wink.
Harry hoped that he would soon fade out of the spotlight, but he should've known better. Most of Gryffindor was still grilling him to learn how he got 'kidnapped,' and they didn't seem to believe him when he said it all happened while he was taking a nap. Then Fleur wanted to feed him, and Harry couldn't exactly say no to that. He just couldn't escape the feeling, from the way various looks he was getting off other boys, that he'd have to be on the lookout for assassination attempts in his near future.
Eventually, during a brief lull in conversation, Ron managed to get close enough to whisper i Harry's ear.
"I'm, err, glad you're okay," he said. "Don't know who I'd partner with in potions if anything bad actually got you."
Harry grinned at him— and he meant it with everything he had. Ron might be crap at sappy stuff, but Harry wouldn't forget in a hurry how the redhead walked toward three adult dragons, just because he saw Harry on the other side.
"Say, you haven't changed your mind about entering the Triwizard Tournament, have you?" Harry whispered back.
Ron blinked. "You mean if I want to? Of course I do! But I dunno, Dumbledore seems pretty serious about this age limit business…"
Harry looked at the staff table, where he found the headmaster rocking back and forth on a recliner far nicer than the wooden seat he usually used at the table. The man had a bruise in the shape of a chair leg spanning his face and forehead, and he was grinning from ear to ear. From where Harry was sitting, it looked like the only thing the man cared at all about was his 'Tiffany'.
"Don't worry about Dumbledore," Harry said to Ron. "I was just asking out of curiousity."
As lunch drew to a close, Harry had already decided to skip his next class. A bit of sleep sounded well worth one period of detention. The only obstacle was how to ditch Fleur, because frankly, if she got ahold of him now she'd drain what little his balls had left and leave him like a husk.
He was pondering the logistics of using his invisibility cloak when it happened.
There was a loud groan, like a giant was snoring in the room with them. By the time that Harry and others looked over, the entire Slytherin table was enveloped by a great smokey Pop!
Students shouted. Green-robed Slytherins and fur-clad Durmstrang students sprung away, coughing on the smoke. Those sitting near the middle of the table looked slightly singed. Draco Malfoy, in particular, had lost his eyebrows altogether.
But while this was a much more noticeable event, it was not the only problem students faced. Hermione sipped her goblet— and rather suddenly, a strange look entered her eyes.
"Did you know I can juggle?" she asked.
"Hermione, what?" Harry asked.
She giggled. "Watch!"
She snatched up her goblet — still completely full — along with the goblets of the students on either side of her, tossing them in the air. She didn't catch a single one, ending up totally doused in Pumpkin Juice. Instead of looking shocked, she merely continued to giggle.
"Did you know I can do flips?" she asked, beginning to stand.
Harry stunned her before she could offer a demonstration of that, softening her fall with a cushioning charm.
It wasn't just Hermione. Select students at every table except for the Slytherin one were starting to act out in ridiculous ways. Harry reached over and wiped up trace amounts of Hermione's Pumpkin Juice. When he sniffed it, he caught a whiff of something else.
"Some sort of potion," he mumbled. "But why…?"
Colin Creevey ran past, moving awkwardly but with a wide grin, beginning to pull off his shirt. Harry stunned him as well, but the pattern was beginning to sink in.
It was only Muggleborns whose drink had been spiked.
The staff stood, even Dumbledore, though he had attached his chair to his own posterior, forcing him to waddle like a hermit crab. When the teacher in the lead, Professor Vector, went to step around the staff table, she was sent sprawling.
Enormous words made of sparks had appeared in the air, glittering like a wall between the students and the staff.
LONG LIVE TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE, SAVIOR OF ALL HALF-BLOODS!
Through the chaos, Su looked straight at Harry from the Ravenclaw table.
'Why?' she mouthed at him.
But Harry could only stare back at her, his eyes wide.
'This wasn't me!' he mouthed.
'Then who was it?!'
Harry didn't know. But he was going to find out.
Just as soon as he got his nap.
O-O-O
Classes were canceled for the rest of the day. Harry's nap turned into something quite a bit longer. He slept until the following morning, and when he rose and stretched, he found Su waiting for him downstairs in a sparsely-populated common room.
"Fix this," Su said, her arms crossed.
"I plan to," Harry assured her. There was no one close enough to listen in, so he added, "Believe me, I'm not just going to let someone else use the name of someone else that I'm using for my own purposes for their own purposes."
Su wrinkled her nose. "You phrased that terribly on purpose. But whatever, as long as you're on board."
"I'm surprised you're so motivated about this," Harry admitted. "You're a half-blood, aren't you?"
"That's why!" Su shivered. "I've already caught people giving me suspicious looks, and it's been a day. If this goes on much longer it's going to turn into a witch hunt. We've got to stop it before then."
As they talked, a few older years were passing by. One broke away from them. Alicia Spinnet approached Harry and Su, crossing her arms.
"Are you guys going to look into what happened yesterday?" she asked. "If you are, let me help. Your friend is right, Harry. I've noticed the looks too."
"Sure, you can come," Harry agreed. "I know just the place to start, too."
O-O-O
The Hogwarts Kitchens were a room just as large as the Great Hall, located directly beneath the more famous room, just with far less grandiose decor. Instead of students and professors, it was filled at all times by a veritable army of house elves. They worked in elaborate formations at all times of day, prepping food for lunch as soon as breakfast was done, and for dinner after lunch, and so on, each and every day.
"Harry Potter sir!"
A familiar House Elf leaped away from his work, waving a wrinkled hand above his even-more-wrinkled head. Harry smiled as Dobby approached them, hopping back and forth between his small feet.
"Dobby!" Harry said. "How are you?"
"Very good, sir!" said Dobby. "Very very good! Master Dumbledore has hired me, and he is giving me pay!"
"A free elf?" Su asked.
"Dobby is a bit irregular," Harry explained. Turning back to the elf, he said, "Listen, Dobby, something bad happened yesterday."
Dobby's smile faded.
"Oh, yes," he said. "Dobby was hearing about that. The professors came to the kitchens asking elves about it, but we didn't know much. Someone put things into students' drinks. Bad things!"
"It wasn't the elves?" Harry asked.
"Well, the elves did do it, yes," Dobby said. "But we told the professors, it was because of a note! They had a signed note from Professor Vector, the lady with the hair that looks like a fresh brown rag! So the elves listened, and we did it. But when we looked for the note later, it was gone!"
"Must have been a fake," Alicia said.
"Dobby, how did the note arrive?" Harry asked.
"Left outside the door, right where you came in!" Dobby exclaimed. "But we didn't see who was doing it. No, we didn't see nothing at all!"
Dobby pulled on his long ears in dismay, turning his head back and forth.
"That's alright," Su assured him. She looked at Harry and Alicia. "If this happened during lunch, then it had to be left by someone who wasn't in the Great Hall. That should narrow it down a ton."
"I can help!" Alicia said eagerly. "I'm a prefect, so I had to pay attention to what students weren't in the Great Hall yesterday, in case they were in trouble somewhere else. Hold on, I'll find the list."
As Alicia dug through her bag, Harry said, "Thanks, Dobby."
"Bring them to justices, Harry Potter sir!" Dobby said. "No one plays tricks on elves and gets away with it!"
He marched back to work, spotting the dirty looks he was getting off of his coworkers for abandoning his station. Su stared after him.
"Strange little elf," she said.
"Always has been," Harry agreed. "Dobby's great."
"Got it!" Alica had dragged her finger down the parchment she pulled out of her pocket. "It looks like the first name is…"
O-O-O
"Why me?" Tracey Davis asked flatly.
The Slytherin glared at them, looking a bit like a cornered stray cat. She was hunkered in the corner of an unused classroom, as far away from the beaten track as possible. It was a miracle they found her at all.
Tracey had pale skin and brown hair, paired with brown eyes that looked like they could cut glass if she glared. Currently, that glare was trained on Harry.
"We're not just interviewing you," Su said. "You just happened to be the first—"
"And why was I the first?" Tracey asked.
"Where were you yesterday?" Harry said. "Why weren't you in the Great Hall?"
"That's just none of your business, is it Potter?"
"It could be," Harry said, "if you were the one that set off an explosion at the Slytherin table. You know, you were the only one that wasn't there to get caught up in it."
"Like you care what happens to Slytherins."
"I'm cool with blowing them up, that's true," Harry said. "But whoever did it made it about half-bloods… which you happen to be."
"So are you," Tracey pointed out. "Maybe you did it."
"As if the person who did it would be looking for suspects," Alicia said. "Just tell us where you were?"
Tracey glanced around, assessing her options for ways out. Finding none, she eventually said, "I went to the kitchens."
"To put potions in drinks!" Alicia said triumphantly.
"To eat a damn lunch!" Tracey said. "Ask the elves. I've eaten there almost every day for the last two years! They'll back that up!"
"Why?" Su asked.
Tracey sneered. "You said it, didn't you? I'm a half-blood. You see these robes?" Tracey yanked on the snake badge woven onto her chest. "Figure it out yourself. But quit bothering me."
She went back to eating the sandwich she had been working on when they arrived, refusing to look them in the eyes. Trading looks, Harry, Su, and Alicia backed away, leaving the room.
"She could be lying," Su said. "We'll have to ask the elves."
"Easy enough to do," Harry said. "Alicia, there have to be more to check on, right?"
"Sure are," Alicia said. "Let's see. We'll be looking for…"
O-O-O
"Me?" Seamus Finnegan said. "Really? You think I did all that."
"Not necessarily," Su said. "We're just checking. Where were you yesterday at lunch?"
"Right here," Seamus said, gesturing at the Gryffindor Common Room around them. "I was trying to finish a paper on Mandrakes before we went to Herbology."
"We did have herbology that afternoon," Harry said.
"You're pretty outspoken about being a half-blood," Alicia said. "You talk about it more than almost anyone else…"
"I'm proud of my mum and my dad," Seamus said. "Is that something to hang my head over? Here!"
He grabbed a bundle of crinkled paper from his bag, thrusting it out to them. Su took it and began to read. Absently, she grabbed a quill from the table beside Seamus.
"This is the paper he was talking about," she confirmed, absently marking corrections as she went.
"That's good enough," Harry said. "He answered what we were asking."
Su handed back the paper. Seamus stared at it, then looked up.
"I might have to look at getting into this terrorist business," he said, "if just being suspected gets somebody to do my homework for me!"
O-O-O
"Where were you yesterday at lunch?"
Cho Chang backed away a step as Alicia invaded her personal space.
"Why?" Cho asked. "I didn't have anything to do with that nasty prank!"
"We're just making sure of that," Su assured her. "Whoever did it drugged every Muggleborn with a mix of Befuddlement Draughts and Confidence Boosting Brews. That's a nasty combination, giving them complete confidence while getting rid of their impulse control. It could've turned bad. There's not many students who could brew something like that— but you could've."
"Since when does being a good student get you suspected like this?" Cho complained. "All my grades are good, not just Potions!"
"Then tell us what you were up to yesterday," Alicia said.
"It was… I…" Cho looked at Harry apologetically, then faced Alicia. "I was in a broom closet on the second floor!"
"With?" Alicia asked.
Cho blushed even brighter. "Cedric Diggory!"
"We'll check with him," Su said. "I'm sure you're telling the truth, but that will confirm it."
Cho nodded tersely, quickly leaving them behind as she jogged down the hallway.
Su sagged. "I could never be an Auror. I feel awful, quizzing all these people! How many do we have left?"
"Just one," Alicia said.
Harry snuck a look at her list over her shoulder. Immediately, he groaned.
"You're about to feel a whole lot worse after this one," Harry promised Su. "I know this name."
O-O-O
"Do you honestly think you're helping anyone running around like idiotic vigilantes?"
"Shut up and let us do the talking, Zacharias," Harry said.
Zacharias Smith was a blond boy with an upturned nose, a very punchable face that was, regrettably, matched by his personality. He'd been an original member of the D.A…. but only to quiz Harry for details about Cedric Diggory's death. He spent meetings insulting Harry and other members, and was the only one out of the whole D.A. to run before the final battle against Voldemort.
They had cornered him just outside the Hufflepuff Common Room, walking awkwardly in robes that looked a little too big. As per normal, their question had only gotten them insulted.
"Just tell us what you were doing, and we'll leave you alone," Alicia said.
"I don't have to tell you anything," Zacharias said. "And I don't want to. Leave me alone."
This wasn't the first time they'd gone through a question and answer process like this one. Just as Harry was getting sick of it, someone else's patience broke first.
"Look, slimeball," Su said, grabbing Zachariah's collar. "Everyone else gave us something, no matter how annoyed they were. They came up with good explanations. So the longer you whine and deflect everything we ask, the more guilty it makes you look. What do you say we go straight to the professors? Are you going to be a little shit to them? Or is your lack of spine going to get you to confess to everything?"
Zacharias tried to pull away, but he found her grip shockingly strong. Physically pinned back against the wall, that same cowardice that saw him duck every fight that ever came his way made him break.
"I was cleaning my robes!" he snapped. "In case you were wondering, it didn't work. Look at this!"
He pulled back his Hufflepuff robes to reveal a better-fitting set underneath. These had a badger badge on them, but the colors were all wrong. They looked like an amalgamation of every house's signature color, with green, red, and blue all mixing together like tie-dye.
"Justin Finch-Fletchley did this!" he said. "Maybe you should go and interrogate him!"
"Justin?" Harry asked. "Why would he do that?"
"Because he's a prat who can't take a joke," Zacharias said. "All I did was ask if Hannah had put on a little weight. It's not my fault she went and started crying."
Su released his collar, giving him a look of disgust.
"We'll check with Justin," she said, turning and leaving. Harry and Alicia followed her, not wanting to hear another second of Zacharias's nasally voice.
"That's all of them," Alicia said. "There weren't any other half-bloods outside of the Great Hall at lunch. We'll check their stories, but do you think you might know who did it?"
"I've got a few ideas," Harry said. "Tomorrow, I'll know for sure. Go ahead and meet me on the seventh floor, by the portrait of Barnabus the Barmy…"
O-O-O
A day came and went. When Alicia arrived at the specified place, she found an entrance to a room, one that once she passed through looked exactly like a courtroom from Level Ten of the Ministry of Magic. Every one of the half-bloods they interviewed were already there, while Harry sat at the top of the raised podium like a judge. She walked in and stood near Harry, beside Su.
"Thanks for coming, everyone," Harry said. "We've checked out your stories. Tracey, the house elves confirmed that you come by often, and that you arrived after the potions had been left."
Tracey smiled, crossing her arms.
"Seamus, I checked with the others, and you were in the common room when they arrived. Dean said you told him ahead of time what you would be doing. It all checks out."
"Thanks," Seamus grunted.
"Cho!" Harry said, making Cho jump. "Cedric backed up your story."
She just blushed.
"And Justin confirmed he did curse Zacharias's robes. He said it pretty proudly, too."
"Git," Zacharias muttered.
"So we have no clues?" Alicia asked. "We're at a dead end!"
"We wouldn't have called you here if that were true," Su said.
"Exactly right!" Harry smiled. "Right now, in the room with us, is the culprit. And I know who they are."