"Sasuke, see that dummy over there?" I point at a training dummy that's fireproof, because it's Uchiha property, what do you expect? If training items aren't fireproof, throw them in the trash!
"What about it, Akari?" He asks. Oh boy, he has no idea what I'm going to put him through. When I'm done with him, he'd wish Itachi finished him off as well.
Too soon? Probably too soon, yea. That joke was in bad taste, my fault.
"You are going to use fire element jutsus on it until you either faint, puke or run out of chakra. It's usually a mix of all three. You just turned eleven a little while ago, so it's time for you to enlarge your chakra coils." His face quickly turns green. "Don't worry about it too much, I only slept for two days straight the first time I had chakra exhaustion. Granted, I did take a full week to fully recover from the symptoms…"
Sasuke quickly cuts in. Looks pretty worried, and he should be. "What are the symptoms? I am aware that there isn't school during this period of time, but I still have to attend the academy a week later after the holiday ends."
"Ah, you'll just feel disoriented and be in a constant state of nausea. It is kind of like eating raw pork, but not life threatening, so you'll be fine! And if you aren't, I'll just have to baby you for a bit. Come on, I always wanted to spoil you, and hear you call me stuff like big sister or something." I tease him a bit, and his face turns red instead of green.
"Fine, I'll get started on it. How long does this normally take?" He asks while forming head seals for the Great Fireball Jutsu. Man, so obedient, this guy. I had to fuss for hours before spitting out my first jutsu because I was scared of fire at first.
"Eh, you're still growing, so it probably only takes around ten Great Fireball Jutsus to stretch your chakra coils and use up most of your chakra. After that, you might suddenly feel lightheaded and fall face down to the concrete ground, but I might catch you! Depends on how I feel at that moment, really, so you better pray you do well." I giggle as I see Sasuke giving me a look. This is fun, man.
"Might catch me," He chokes. "Depends on your mood. That's… a little cruel, isn't it?"
I pretend to stroke my non-existing beard. "You're right, it is quite cruel. How about this? If you call me big sister, I'll catch you when you inevitably fall. It's a pretty good deal if I do say so myself! Come on, give in and come to the dark side!"
He blushes. "I have no idea what you're talking about, big si-sister." Man, his face really is cute as hell! I want to squish them.
I successfully refrain myself from squealing. "Your face really is quite dangerous, you know? I bet you would be very successful in infiltration missions. You could literally go up to the target, ask them a question while flashing them your cute puppy eyes, and they would hand you the information you need with no questions asked."
He chooses not to answer my question and just launches a fireball at the training dummy, smart boy. Once someone starts indulging me in my antics, they are going to be in a world of pain. If you want proof, just ask my teammates!
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After the eleventh Great Fireball Jutsu, he finally faints and as promised, I catch him before he face-plants into the ground. I princess-carried him all the way back to our shared house and then put him on the couch. I check his body, chakra pathways, some more health related stuff and adjust some of it to lessen the discomfort of chakra exhaustion. He should be fine, since he's still growing and the effects of chakra exhaustion are normally more painful when the patient is a fully grown adult. He's still going to feel like shit if he doesn't get enough rest, so he better get ready to sleep for a day straight, minimum.
I get the shower ready, prepare Sasuke some fresh, clean clothes and fill the tub with hot water. He's training to be a mercenary, not a barbarian. It's always better to take a shower before sleeping, and if anyone disagrees, their opinion doesn't matter and someone should get them into a psych ward. Ever since I became a Chunin, most of my missions are located at least a day or two away from villages or inns, so I plan to spoil him as much as I can before he goes and either be a missing-nin, which will be good for him since he's getting out of Danzo's grasp, but also very bad at the same time since he's going to learn from fucking Orochimaru.
Really, I decided long ago to not stop him from doing what he decides to do. I'm going to cry a lot if he defects, but I'll manage in the end. But enough of that depressing topic, that gloomy shit will sort itself out when the time comes.
Sasuke starts to stir, and I interrupt his chakra flow to wake him up. He takes some time to get off the couch, but he manages to get in the bathtub to clean himself up. In the meantime, I'm going to prepare fried rice with baked pork chops. It's a very fling dish, and he needs to eat more if he wants to grow! Also to get that chakra back as well.
Oh no, I sound like my mom, am I someone's parent figure? I'm barely eighteen, I'm not that old, am I? Eighteen was the legal adult age for most countries back then, but here? People normally are already engaged at eighteen…
Oh shit, is the only reason I'm not getting marriage proposals is because I basically adopted a kid? That is it, Sasuke can't go, I'm not ready to deal with that pile of shit and I am very allergic to romantic feelings. Uchiha, remember? It took a traumatizing experience for me to trust someone enough to sleep together in a single bed and unless I'm going to be in another traumatizing experience with anyone decent, I'm not getting fucking engaged. Trauma bonding for the win, baby!
I breathe in and out for a while, calming myself after that minor breakdown. Seriously, stop thinking about anything even slightly related to marriage, or I'll jinx myself. Might need to have a talk with Inochi about this one and actually have him do his job as a therapist instead of just acting as a messenger.
I really need to accept a mission with my team soon, I always feel better after beating people up. It's a bit inhumane and insane of me, I know. But everyone's a bit crazy here. Anko loves dango way too much and has abandonment issues, Tenzo's emotionally stunted, and Kakashi reads porn in public. And me? Well, I'm just a bit of a pyromaniac. Just a tad, promise.
Hey, I got this cool jutsu called Majestic Destroyer Flame ages ago, everyone would be a pyromaniac if they have a fire jutsu that can basically engulf a small house. Why else would I even try to expand Sasuke's chakra reserves? Sharing is caring, after all, and I am very eager to share this joy with my last non-murderous living relative.
Nothing spells family bonding time more than two Uchihas burning down a hidden village or two together for a mission, or a capital city. I'm not too picky.