As time went on with the relationship, eventually we bought an apartment and moved in together. This was a very exciting time for me. Growing up as a kid, I watched my grandfather operate his businesses, so I always wanted to be like him. I always wanted to make a lot of money and get out on my own and say I provided this for myself. In my sophomore year in high school, I started working, and I saved up all that money, thousands of dollars, and I put down the down payments on our first apartment. Yes, it was a little rundown apartment. But to me, it was like I was in Hollywood, and I just bought my first mansion because that was a goal of mine. I wanted to be this independent woman.
The first time my neighbor saw this apartment, her nose went straight in the air. I know you live next to several welfare people. These apartments have bad reputations around here, and your husband shouldn't be around that environment. I remember her words so clearly.
I had swallowed plenty of disgusted feelings because I don't judge people, and that's one thing I can honestly say about myself. Whatever way somebody uses to take care of their family, and if it is receiving help, that is their business, and at least they were brave enough to accept the help they needed.
I was very downhearted because I put out the money to pay for this apartment, not my husband, and this woman came in and criticized my hard work. The girl she said wasn't good enough, the girl she has called so many names provided a place for her family to stay. Those feelings will always be set wrong with me.
It is very hurtful when you are so proud of something, and you have an individual downgrading your accomplishments. Because your achievements weren't on their standards. Now I learned that people like her will never be impressed, and here's the reason they have an unrealistic fantasy of what should have happened. They have stored away such a fantasy fairy tale in their brain that they won't accept anything that's not that. What she wanted me to provide was not realistic for the money that I had, and she wouldn't accept anything else that wasn't what she wanted it to be. So, in lesson number one and dealing with mental abuse, you will never be able to impress someone who has a skewed reality. You just won't, so don't even try it.
This wasn't the first time I experienced success on my end and criticism on hers. I started working in a daycare. Working with children has always been a love of mind, and it was a second plan before joining the military. But this job was never good enough for her. She would make comments about how it wasn't enough money or how I should be going to college, and that my husband's in the military, and he's doing something, aren't you?
I don't think anyone registers enough of how criticizing somebody truly is mental abuse and makes you question everything about yourself. It makes you question, am I doing things right? Am I wrong, maybe he deserves better? I don't care if I was a convicted felon; nobody is entitled to make somebody feel bad about themselves. Nobody, under any circumstances.