Wim Py sat cross-legged in the middle of the forest clearing, the veena resting awkwardly in his lap like a responsibility he desperately wanted to escape. The moonlight filtered through the trees, casting an eerie glow on his trembling hands as they hovered over the strings. He gulped.
Behind a particularly large tree, Shotaro, Paliv, and Fa Git were crouched together, peeking out like a trio of bandits watching their last hope make a complete fool of himself.
"I don't like this," Wim Py muttered to himself. "I don't like this one bit." His fingers tapped nervously against the instrument. "Why am I even doing this? Why did I let myself get kidnapped? Why do I still not have a spine?!"
"Less whining, more playing," Shotaro hissed from the shadows, his voice just loud enough to remind Wim Py that he had an audience of highly judgmental individuals.
"You act like it's easy!" Wim Py, snapped in a hushed whisper. "Do you even know how precise veena playing has to be? This isn't some tavern lute you can just pluck at and hope for the best! This is an ancient, refined art, requiring years of training, deep understanding of music theory, and an absolute absence of extreme stress—WHICH I AM CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING!"
"Man, just play the damn thing," Fa Git grumbled. "Or do you want me to start throwing rocks until you start making some kind of sound?"
Wim Py's eye twitched. He inhaled deeply. Then, with the sorrow of a man whose fate was in the hands of lunatics, he positioned his fingers and began to play.
The first note rang out. Pure, rich, and melancholic, it resonated through the forest like a whisper from the past. The second note followed, flowing seamlessly into the next, weaving a melody so hauntingly beautiful that even the wind seemed to still, listening.
Paliv raised an eyebrow. "Huh. He's actually good."
Shotaro nodded slightly, arms crossed. "Yeah. Surprising, given his general existence."
Wim Py, too focused to process the backhanded compliments, continued playing, his fingers moving fluidly across the strings. The music grew deeper, more enchanting, as if the very essence of the forest was bending to its rhythm. Fireflies appeared from nowhere, drifting lazily through the air. The rustling of leaves softened. Even the occasional chirping of crickets slowed, as if compelled to listen.
The first sign of her arrival was not footsteps, nor the rustling of branches—it was the scent. A soft, intoxicating fragrance, delicate yet overwhelming, like the very concept of allure given form. It was the kind of scent that made the mind wander, the heart race, and the body question its own self-control. It was divine.
Then came the glow. A soft, golden shimmer, like the first light of dawn kissing the horizon. It didn't burst into existence—it simply was, as if reality itself had always intended for her to be here but had only just remembered.
Wim Py's fingers froze on the veena, his breath hitching.
And then, from the veil of moonlight and mist, she stepped forward.
Urvashi, the most beautiful of all Apsaras.
Her skin was luminous, a deep honeyed gold that seemed to shimmer under the night sky, as though woven from threads of liquid sunlight. Her long, silken hair cascaded down her back in waves of dark violet, interlaced with strands of silver that glowed faintly, shifting like mist in the breeze. Eyes like molten amethyst, rich and glimmering with an eternal, playful knowing, locked onto Wim Py with a look that was equal parts amusement and curiosity.
Her attire was both scandalous and regal, a paradox only she could embody. A choli of sheer, celestial silk—so light it seemed to defy gravity—wrapped around her, its rich hues shifting between deep sapphire and twilight purple with each movement. A golden chain adorned her collarbone, delicate yet intricate, its design mimicking the spirals of galaxies. Flowing beneath, an ethereal skirt of translucent, iridescent fabric clung to her hips before billowing out, the colors shifting from a deep sunset orange to a dusky pink with every step. Bangles of luminous jade clinked softly on her wrists, her every movement a melody of divine grace.
And then, there was her expression.
Not wrathful. Not impatient.
But pleased.
Her full lips curled into a knowing, seductive smile, a quiet hum escaping her throat as she tilted her head, studying the trembling dark elf before her.
"Hmm~" She leaned slightly forward, her hands delicately brushing against the air as if tracing the final remnants of the melody still hanging in the night. "Who would have thought? A summoning so… earnest. So… sweet." She let out a small, musical laugh, her voice dripping with honeyed delight. "And from one so… unassuming."
Wim Py, the quivering little mess that he was, trembled harder, his breath hitching. Then, in what could only be described as the dumbest fucking decision of his life, he wailed, "MOM!!!!!!!!~~~~~~"
A silence followed.
Not just any silence.
A soul-crushing, spine-snapping, godless silence.
In the bushes, Shotaro, Paliv, and Fa Git instantly smacked their own foreheads in perfect, despair-ridden synchronization.
Then it happened. What everyone feared.
Urvashi went still.
Not just still—stone fucking still.
The amused expression on her divine face did a slow, calculated reset, like a celestial error message just popped up in her brain. Her glowing amethyst eyes flickered—once, twice—before narrowing into something so deadly that even the stars seemed to dim.
"You…" she repeated, her voice a quiet storm, "dare… call me Mom?"
Wim Py suddenly couldn't breathe.
His body locked up, sweat flooding down his ash-gray skin as his entire dark elf brain screamed at him to run—not that his legs were listening.
Urvashi took a step forward, and in that instant, the air changed.
The soft warmth that once radiated from her celestial form burned away, replaced by something searing.
Her luminous violet hair, woven with strands of pure stardust, flickered with an eerie, shimmering intensity. The golden ornaments woven through her locks clinked ominously, as if whispering prayers for the poor bastard's soul. Her celestial skirt—once flowing with a dreamlike elegance—now rustled with the weight of an incoming execution. Sapphire, deep magenta, and burning gold flickered in sharp bursts, like the embers of a dying sun, pulsing with barely restrained wrath.
And that top? That sheer, tantalizing choli of divine silk? The delicate golden embroidery practically glowed with divine fury as she placed her hands on her hips, fingers cracking as if they had been waiting to introduce Wim Py to a level of pain mortal languages had yet to describe.
She knelt slightly, leaning in ever so painfully close, her divine scent of lotus and wild honey now carrying an undercurrent of pure violence.
Wim Py's life was flashing before his eyes. It was a short, sad film.
"You little shit," she cooed, her voice dipped in molten fury. "Do I look like I crawled out of the depths of cosmic divinity just to birth you?"
Wim Py made an animal noise. A pathetic noise.
Urvashi was not done.
Her delicate fingers, adorned with rings of cosmic metal, twitched as if considering whether to just end this sad excuse of an elf right then and there. "Mom?" she spat, her grin a sharp, deadly curve. "Mom?" She straightened, her bangles jangling like chains of a condemned man. "You summon me, the most resplendent, most desired, most divine apsara of the celestial courts, with a song so sweet it stirred even my slumber, and you—she pointed a sharp nail at his face—"have the audacity to address me as if I wiped your fucking nose as a baby?"
Wim Py did not respond.
Because Wim Py could not respond.
His soul had already left his body, packed its bags, and was currently sprinting toward the afterlife at speeds previously unknown to elven biology.
Urvashi, still radiating enough divine fury to char an entire forest into a fine powder, exhaled sharply through her nose. She was done. So done.
And then, she cursed him.
"From this moment forward, you shall live as a eunuch," she declared, her voice echoing with celestial decree.
Wim Py blinked. Then he blinked again. Then, a strange sensation bloomed in his lower half—like something warm and familiar had just vanished into the void. His face went pale.
He looked down.
He patted down.
Nothing.
Absolutely fucking nothing.
A bloodcurdling shriek tore from his throat. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Shotaro, Fa Git, and Paliv all recoiled slightly, watching in muted horror as the dark elf collapsed to his knees, gripping his now tragically smooth lower half.
"She took it," Wim Py whimpered. "*She actually took it. My lineage… my future… my precious—GAAAAH!!!"
Paliv squinted. "Well… at least he doesn't have to worry about being a mama's boy anymore."
Fa Git, still in shock, slowly turned to Shotaro. "...Bro, that was too far, even for her."
Shotaro was about to respond—really, he was—but then something shifted.
A voice cut through the air.
"Wait."
It was firm, quiet, but carried a strange weight.
Urvashi, already primed to end another life today, immediately turned toward the speaker with offense etched into every celestial feature. "Who dares—"
And then she saw him.
The world froze.
The moment her eyes landed on Shotaro, something snapped inside her.
Her body jerked back, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks. A colorless, primal terror overtook her face as she took a trembling step away, then another, her lips parting in an unholy gasp.
Then, she screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Shotaro blinked. "...The fuck?"
Paliv and Fa Git just stared.
Wim Py, still curled on the ground in grief, was too busy lamenting his lost assets to care.
"V—Vasudev?!!!" Urvashi shrieked, looking at Shotaro with a mix of horror and absolute disbelief. Her entire divine form trembled, her violet hair seeming to dim as memories flooded into her mind.
She saw him.
Not Shotaro.
Him.
A boy.
A boy tending to a herd of cattle under the warm, golden hues of a distant, forgotten sun.
She remembered how beautiful he had been—so effortlessly divine, his dark complexion glowing under the light, his smile carrying an entire universe within it. He had been young, carefree, his movements as fluid as the river's flow, his laughter sweeter than any melody she had ever danced to.
And she, the celestial Urvashi, the undisputed enchantress of the heavens, had been intrigued.
She had tried to woo him, of course.
How could she not?
He had been flawless.
She had approached him, eyes shimmering, movements calculated, voice like liquid seduction. She had whispered words dipped in honey, let her fingers trace the air between them, let her divine presence bloom with all the beauty that had once driven gods and kings alike to madness.
And yet.
He had rejected her.
Not with anger. Not with disgust. Not even with arrogance.
Just… a soft smile. A knowing glance. A look that spoke of something she had not yet understood.
She had demanded his true nature.
Because no man—no being—could ever deny her.
And then…
The boy had simply smiled wider.
And in that instant, the world had shattered.
The golden light around him had ripped apart, unfolding into something incomprehensible. The boy had ceased to be a boy, and in his place stood something so vast, so impossibly divine, that her mind had bent beneath the weight of it.
She had seen Mahavishnu.
She had seen everything.
Time. Space. Creation. Destruction. The infinite cycle of all existence, spiraling endlessly into and out of itself. She had seen stars die and be born in the blink of an eye, had felt her very being dissolve into the cosmic truth.
And then, the next moment, she had been back.
Just standing there.
Trembling.
Traumatized.
And that boy—no, that being—had simply… gone back to tending his cattle, as if he hadn't just shattered her perception of reality into a million fucking pieces.
Urvashi stood there now, staring at Shotaro, her entire being consumed by that ancient horror.
Her knees buckled.
She swayed.
And then, with a soft, strangled noise—
She fainted.
Face-first.
Into the dirt.
A silence followed.
Not just any silence.
A profound silence.
Shotaro, standing there with the most dead inside expression, slowly turned to Paliv and Fa Git. "...Did I just traumatize an apsara into unconsciousness?"
Fa Git nodded slowly. "Yeah, bro."
Paliv folded her arms, staring down at the unconscious apsara with mild disinterest. "So… should we, uh… wake her up?"
Shotaro, still processing whatever the hell had just happened, glanced at Urvashi's collapsed form, then at Wim Py—who was still curled up on the ground, whimpering over his now nonexistent junk—then back at Urvashi.
After a long, long pause, he let out a deep sigh.
"…Let's give her a minute."
And almost as if the universe itself refused to let them have that minute, Urvashi's eyes snapped open.
She sat up like a corpse jolted awake from the afterlife, her celestial body trembling as though she had just seen the face of the absolute. Her breathing was ragged, erratic, like she had just been dunked into the ocean of cosmic truth for the second time in her life.
Then, her gaze landed on Shotaro again.
She froze.
It was like staring into a mirror reflecting an image she had long tried to erase from her memory.
A ditto.
A perfect, uncanny echo of him.
The boy who had shattered her perception of reality, who had ripped away her illusions with a single smile and left her questioning her entire existence.
Her hands shook. Her lips parted.
And before anyone could react, she dropped to her knees.
Bowed her head.
And then, in a voice still laced with lingering horror, she whispered:
"…Forgive me, O Great One."
Paliv blinked. "…What."
Fa Git leaned forward slightly. "Nah, hold up—what?"
Wim Py, still holding his crotch like a mother mourning her lost child, barely lifted his head. "Huh…?"
Shotaro, now forced to endure yet another episode of Why the Fuck Is This Happening to Me, just stared at the apsara prostrating herself before him like he was the second coming of Oh Shit Not Again.
"…What?"
Paliv squinted at the whole scene like she had just walked in on a cult initiation. "What the fuck is happening here?"
Shotaro exhaled through his nose and dragged a hand down his face. "What do you think reincarnation is?"
Paliv tilted her head. "Uh… soul getting into a new body after death?"
Shotaro clicked his tongue. "No, it's more complicated than that." He looked at the apsara still groveling at his feet and sighed. "It's not the soul that carries over to a new body. It's…" He gestured vaguely. "Let's just say it's more like… cosmic data, the karma being transferred into a new avatar."
Paliv's eyes narrowed. "That… sounds like some bullshit."
Shotaro ignored her. "I am an incarnation of Vishnu," he said flatly, as if he was just casually mentioning he had an overdue library book.
There was a long silence.
Fa Git snapped his fingers. "Ohhh, so that's why Penetrator was calling you 'Kalki.'"
Shotaro nodded. "Yeah. The karma that's stored in my causal layer belongs to the previous nine incarnations."
Paliv pointed at Urvashi, still quaking on the floor. "So she must've met the previous you."
Shotaro sighed again and gave a small nod. "Krishna."
Another long silence.
Wim Py, voice still weak from literal genital deletion, sniffled like a man on the verge of an existential breakdown. "S-So, um… does that mean… she sees you as—"
Before he could finish, Urvashi violently recoiled, her body convulsing as if she had just been forced to relive every single one of her past traumas at once. It was the kind of reaction you'd expect from someone who just saw their worst ex walk into the room after twenty lifetimes.
"DO NOT SAY IT."
Wim Py immediately shut up. Even he, in his eunuch-induced despair, knew not to push his luck.
Fa Git, ever the agent of chaos, leaned in toward Shotaro with a smirk. "Yo, what did Krishna do to her?"
Shotaro exhaled sharply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I don't know. I have the karma, not the memories."
Paliv raised an eyebrow. "So, what? You're him, but not him?"
Shotaro thought about it for a second before sighing. "Okay, imagine you spend years playing an RPG. You master the game, unlock every skill, and max out every stat. Then one day, you start a new save file. All your skills and potential carry over, but the new character? He's not the original—he just has all the karmic baggage from that playthrough."
Paliv blinked. "So… you're a New Game Plus version of Krishna?"
Shotaro groaned. "That's not the point—"
Fa Git clapped his hands. "Damn, no wonder she's losing her shit."
As if on cue, Urvashi twitched violently, staring at Shotaro with an expression that was equal parts horror, divine reverence, and emotional devastation. It was the exact face of someone who had spent millennia repressing a traumatic rejection, only to have it resurface in the worst way possible.
"You—" her voice cracked. "You're telling me you don't even remember rejecting me?!"
Shotaro stared at her, deadpan. "Lady, I barely remember what I had for breakfast."
Urvashi trembled. Her hands balled into fists, then unclenched, then balled again as if she was debating whether to throw a divine tantrum or just drop dead on the spot.
Meanwhile, Wim Py was still sobbing over his nonexistent future children. Paliv sighed. "Okay, but seriously, are we just gonna let him cry like this?"
Fa Git shrugged. "I mean… it is kinda funny."
Shotaro sighed, rubbing his temples. He was too tired for this. Too divinely reincarnated for this. And most of all, he was too done with whatever cosmic bullshit he had just stepped into.
"Okay, Urvashi, take that poor boy's curse off," Shotaro muttered, gesturing vaguely toward Wim Py, who was still clutching his newly gender-swapped situation in existential horror.
Urvashi, however, remained unmoved, arms crossed as she tapped a delicate, gold-adorned foot against the forest floor. "First," she said, her voice laced with a dangerous kind of curiosity, "prove it."
Shotaro narrowed his eyes. "Prove what?"
Urvashi's lips curled into a sly smirk. "That you're him. Not just some lucky bastard wearing his face."
Shotaro let out the longest exhale of his life. "You cannot be serious right now."
Urvashi simply raised an expectant eyebrow.
Shotaro's eye twitched. He glanced at Wim Py, who was still whimpering softly, hands trembling over the new void where his family jewels had once been. He looked like he had just been subjected to a fate worse than death.
"Things I do for wimpy soft boys," Shotaro grumbled under his breath before shaking his head. "Fine. You want proof? I'll give you proof."
He extended his hand.
And the air cracked.
From his palm, something stirred—no, manifested—with a divine authority so absolute that the very concept of space shuddered around it. A ring of pure, incandescent energy spun into existence, its edges razor-thin, sharper than the sharpest sword, deadlier than death itself. It hummed with a sound that wasn't just noise but a fundamental truth—a vibration older than time, echoing with the weight of a thousand cosmic cycles.
The Sudarshana Chakra.
It did not glow. It burned. The very idea of light bowed before it, its brilliance not something seen but understood, seared directly into the soul of any who beheld it.
The golden disc rotated, its movement impossibly smooth yet terrifyingly violent, as if the very fabric of reality was struggling to contain its presence. It did not simply exist; it declared itself. Every revolution was a statement, every hum a divine decree: This is the weapon of Vishnu. The ender of tyrants. The slayer of the unrighteous. The great unmaking.
Shotaro, face deadpan, held it up toward Urvashi.
"Is this enough proof?" he asked.
Urvashi just stood there. Staring. Not blinking. Not breathing.
Fa Git, ever the insightful commentator, let out a low whistle. "Whew. That's some real 'shut the fuck up' energy right there."
Paliv squinted at the weapon. "Wait… if that thing's spinning, how's it not making any wind?"
Shotaro sighed. "Because it doesn't work on normal physics, Paliv."
Urvashi, meanwhile, had yet to move. Her eyes were locked onto the chakra, wide, trembling, her mind visibly shattering under the realization that, yes—this was him. The him. The one she had once tried to seduce, only to be humbled in the most existentially devastating way imaginable.
Wim Py, still curled into himself like a shrimp on the forest floor, whimpered. "C-Can I at least get my d—"
"SHUT UP." Urvashi and Shotaro snapped in perfect unison, their voices cutting through the night like synchronized divine fury.
For a moment, there was silence, save for the faint, hypnotic hum of the Sudarshana Chakra still hovering over Shotaro's palm. It did not simply exist—it demanded acknowledgment, its golden edges spinning with an authority that felt almost too much for the mortal world to contain.
Urvashi's eyes remained locked onto it, unblinking, unmoving, her entire form trembling as if she were witnessing the totality of her past mistakes in one concentrated, celestial disc of judgment.
"The Chakra…" she finally whispered, voice laced with reverence, fear, and a deep, bone-shaking realization. "You really are Narayan."
"Who is Nara—?" Fa Git began, only to be swiftly cut off by Shotaro.
"Vishnu's other name."
Paliv clicked her tongue. "Why does he need so many names? Can't gods just stick to one?"
Shotaro ignored her, focusing instead on Urvashi, who had still not moved.
Fa Git, meanwhile, eyed the divine weapon with blatant curiosity, rubbing his chin. "Okay, but what is with this… disc thing, anyway?"
Shotaro tilted his head. "You ever heard of divine weaponry?"
Fa Git blinked. "Uh… no?"
"Figures," Shotaro muttered, before rolling his shoulders. "Alright, listen up. Divine weaponry is categorized into two primary types: Astras and Shastras." He gestured to his waist, where his ever-faithful blade rested in its sheath. "My katana, Alakshmi, is a Shastra—a close-range weapon, forged and wielded in direct combat."
Then, he raised the chakra slightly, letting its glow flicker ominously against the darkened trees. "This, on the other hand, is an Astra—a weapon of divine projection. It isn't something you swing or stab with. It is a force of absolute decree, a weapon that obeys no laws but its own and delivers judgment from anywhere,at any time,without fail."
Fa Git squinted. "So it's like… a ranged attack?"
Shotaro sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Sure, if you want to put it in the dumbest possible terms."
Urvashi, finally regaining some composure, let out a slow, controlled breath. "The Sudarshana Chakra," she murmured, eyes never leaving its terrifyingly precise rotations. "It is as strong as the Trishula."
Fa Git raised an eyebrow. "The what now?"
"The Trident of Shiva," Shotaro explained. "A weapon that exists in a state of absolute annihilation. Anything it touches is erased from existence—not just physically, but conceptually. No reincarnation. No afterlife. No nothing."
Fa Git frowned. "...That sounds excessive."
Shotaro deadpanned. "It is literally Shiva's weapon. The God of Destruction. What the hell did you expect, a foam bat?"
Paliv snorted.
Urvashi, still unnerved, took a deep breath before continuing. "And this Chakra…" her voice wavered slightly, "Its power dwarfs the Vajra."
"Okay, I really need a glossary at this point," Fa Git muttered.
"The Vajra," Urvashi explained, regaining some of her usual pride, "is Indra's weapon. A divine thunderbolt, said to be the mightiest force of pure impact. It can end the Null Space in a single strike."
Fa Git furrowed his brows. "Okay, that sounds pretty overpowered."
Shotaro let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah? Well, the Sudarshana Chakra makes the Vajra look like a toddler's rattle."
Fa Git blinked. "…What."
"The Chakra is not a weapon of impact," Shotaro continued, eyes glinting. "It is a weapon of absolute resolution. While the Vajra is like a hammer smashing through reality, the Chakra is… something else."
Urvashi nodded solemnly. "It does not simply strike. It decides. The Chakra does not miss. The Chakra does not hesitate. And once it has been unleashed…"
Shotaro finished for her, his voice like the final toll of a divine bell.
"It cannot be stopped."
Fa Git and Paliv both stared at the golden disc, their initial expressions of vague amusement slowly warping into something far more unsettled. The sheer inevitability of it—it wasn't just a weapon. It was a declaration. A concept. A divine edict forged into physical form, existing purely to execute an outcome that had already been decided the moment it was unleashed.
Wim Py, meanwhile, was still curled up in the fetal position, making a sound somewhere between a dying animal and a defective air conditioning unit. "C-Can I—"
"No."
Urvashi and Shotaro snapped, again, in perfect unison.
The forest fell silent for a beat. Then another.
Then, Paliv, who apparently hadn't quite grasped the severity of what she had just witnessed, huffed and folded her arms. "Then why didn't you just spam it when you had it?"
Shotaro froze.
Fa Git, to his credit, physically recoiled like she had just suggested licking the Chakra to see if it was real. Urvashi nearly fainted again. Even the Sudarshana Chakra itself, still hovering menacingly over Shotaro's palm, seemed to hum in a way that suggested it had just been disrespected on a fundamental level.
Shotaro's eye twitched. Then, without a word, he calmly raised his hand and brought it down onto Paliv's head in a firm, well-practiced bonk.
"Ow!" she yelped, rubbing the spot where he had smacked her. "What the hell was that for?!"
"Do you hear yourself when you speak?" Shotaro asked, exasperated. "Do you actually listen to the words coming out of your own mouth? Or do you just let the intrusive thoughts win?"
Paliv scowled. "I mean, if it's so powerful, why not just—"
Shotaro immediately bonked her again.
"Ow! Stop that!"
"No. Because apparently, you need physical damage to compensate for the mental damage you're doing to me right now."
Paliv growled, rubbing her head. "You still haven't answered my question."
Shotaro sighed, shaking his head. "Okay, first of all—" He pointed at the still-spinning Chakra. "—do you have any idea what this thing actually does?"
Paliv, feeling defensive, crossed her arms again. "Yeah, it's a really strong divine Frisbee."
Urvashi audibly gasped. Fa Git actually choked.
Shotaro stared at her. Then exhaled very slowly through his nose.
"Paliv."
"Yeah?"
"I love you, you're my sister, I'd die for you… but if you ever refer to the Sudarshana Chakra as a 'really strong divine Frisbee' again, I am going to use it specifically to remove that part of your brain where you store bad opinions."
Paliv huffed. "Whatever. You still didn't answer—"
Shotaro cut her off by raising a finger. "Second of all," he continued, voice dangerously calm, "I promised to never abuse it. To someone very important."
Paliv blinked. "…Oh."
"Yeah."
"…But hypothetically—"
Shotaro immediately bonked her again.
"OW, DAMN IT, SHOTARO—"
"And third," Shotaro said, ignoring her completely, "spamming the Sudarshana Chakra is impossible."
Paliv scoffed. "Why?"
Shotaro gestured vaguely at the concept of causality. "Because there won't be anything left after one use."
Paliv paused. Then frowned. "…Oh."
Fa Git, finally regaining his ability to form words, cleared his throat. "Wait, hold up—are you saying that if you use it once, it just… deletes everything?"
Shotaro sighed. "Okay, let me put it this way. You ever heard of a nuke?"
Fa Git nodded slowly.
"Alright, now imagine a nuke that doesn't explode. It just decides that a city doesn't exist anymore."
Fa Git paled.
"Now imagine that, but scaled up to the level of fundamental reality itself."
Fa Git paled further.
"Now imagine that, but it doesn't just erase reality—it erases the very concept of whatever it's used on. Past, present, future. Completely and utterly unmade, like it was never supposed to be there in the first place."
"…Hah," Fa Git wheezed, sounding dangerously close to throwing up. "That's… kinda overkill."
"No shit."
Paliv, still rubbing her bruised head, muttered, "So you're saying this thing is like… a reality check?"
Shotaro's face was completely blank.
"…Yes, Paliv."
The Chakra hummed ominously.
"It is the ultimate reality check."
Silence.
Then—
"Damnit, now I want a divine weapon too."
Everyone turned to Fa Git, who was standing there with his arms crossed, looking mildly annoyed. Like Shotaro had just pulled out the actual debug menu of existence while Fa Git was stuck punching things manually.
Shotaro blinked. "What."
"I'm just saying," Fa Git shrugged, "if you get that, then I should get something too. Where's my 'one tap the concept of cause and effect' button?"
Shotaro stared at him for a long moment before sighing. "You do realize that most divine weapons aren't just handed out, right?"
Fa Git waved him off. "Yeah, yeah, I get it—'cosmic stuff, big deal, blah blah blah'—but if I can get one, I want one."
Shotaro rubbed his temples. "Alright, first of all, I'm starting to regret this conversation. Second, technically speaking… you can."
Fa Git's ears perked up. "Wait, for real?"
Shotaro nodded. "Most divine weapons aren't like the Sudarshana Chakra, where they're directly tied to a specific deity or incarnation. A lot of them are learned. Meaning, if you know the proper techniques and mantras, you can summon and wield them."
Fa Git grinned. "Cool. Gimme a list."
Paliv scoffed. "What, are you gonna grind for divine weapon unlocks?"
"If that's what it takes."
Shotaro sighed. "Alright, fine. There are a lot, but I'll give you three of the big ones."
Fa Git cracked his knuckles. "Hit me."
Shotaro raised a finger. "First—Brahmastra."
Urvashi stepped forward, suddenly looking very serious. "Brahmastra is one of the deadliest divine weapons, forged by Brahma himself. It is absolute annihilation—not merely destruction, but conceptual erasure."
Fa Git nodded. "Sounds strong."
Shotaro gave him a flat look. "Strong? That's like saying a metaphysical omnipocalypse is 'a bit excessive.'"
Urvashi continued, "When fired, the Brahmastra doesn't just hit the target—it corrects the multiversal equation by removing them from all points in existence. Every layer of reality, every possibility, every past and future iteration—gone. Not even their karma remains. It is a weapon of absolute finality."
"…Okay, yeah, that's pretty overpowered."
Shotaro smirked. "Oh, you think that's bad?"
Fa Git blinked.
"Brahmashirastra."
Urvashi inhaled sharply. "Oh, no."
Paliv raised an eyebrow. "What's the difference?"
Shotaro exhaled, his expression dark. "Brahmashirastra is the Brahmastra… on steroids."
"…How much steroids?"
"Imagine you took Brahmastra and said, 'Nah, not enough,' and then made it four times stronger."
Fa Git blinked. "Why the hell would anyone need that?"
Shotaro shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe because people get tired of just deleting single multiversal layers and decide to erase entire cosmological hierarchies?"
Urvashi sighed. "Brahmashirastra is so devastating that using it once can shatter the fundamental archetypes that structure reality. It doesn't just erase things—it breaks the laws that allow things to exist in the first place. Causality collapses. Space and time stop being distinct. It's a weapon of cosmological catastrophe—even the gods hesitate to let it be used."
"…Hah." Fa Git let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, alright, that sounds kinda nuts."
Shotaro smirked again. "Oh, we're not done."
Fa Git's stomach dropped.
Fa Git, still recovering from the existential horror of Brahmashirastra, cautiously raised a hand. "Okay, so… those are terrifying, but I still kinda want to know more. Like, what about other weapons? You said most of these can be learned, right?"
Shotaro exhaled. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean they're easy to get. You don't just sign up for a divine weapons club and get handed cosmic nukes."
Fa Git nodded. "Alright, fair. So what's another big one?"
Shotaro smirked. "You sure?"
"…No, but hit me."
Shotaro leaned forward. "Alright. Narayanastra."
The moment he said it, Urvashi let out a long, exhausted sigh. Paliv, who had just finished rubbing her bruised head, actually flinched.
Fa Git blinked. "Wait, why do you all look like I just said 'global thermonuclear war'?"
Shotaro chuckled. "Because, my friend, Narayanastra is not a weapon."
"…Huh?"
"It is an event."
Fa Git frowned. "What kind of event?"
Shotaro grinned. "The kind that makes armies wish they were never born."
Fa Git opened his mouth, then shut it. Then opened it again. "…Elaborate."
Urvashi massaged her temples. "Narayanastra is Vishnu's personal battlefield dominator. It is the celestial equivalent of saying, 'I'm done playing fair' and then proceeding to delete everything that ever opposed you."
Fa Git nodded slowly. "Okay, still need details."
Shotaro gestured vaguely. "Imagine this. You're standing on a battlefield. Thousands—millions—of warriors, all prepped for war, all ready to fight. Then someone activates Narayanastra."
Fa Git nodded.
Shotaro smirked. "Now imagine that, suddenly, the sky cracks open and an absolute storm of divine weapons rains down. Not just arrows. Not just spears. Astra and Shastra. Every kind. Thousands. Tens of thousands. Each one as powerful as an arrow fired from Gandiva itself."
Fa Git's brain stopped. "Wait, Gandiva?"
Urvashi crossed her arms. "The bow of Arjuna, wielded in the great war. It does not fire arrows. It fires conceptual inevitabilities."
Paliv scowled. "That sounds stupid."
Shotaro chuckled. "Oh, it is stupid. Stupidly overpowered. Gandiva is a bow that never runs out of arrows, never misses, and each shot is guaranteed to kill what it hits. It is less a weapon and more a celestial kill confirmation machine."
Fa Git inhaled sharply. "And Narayanastra fires thousands of weapons each as strong as a Gandiva arrow?"
"Yup."
"And each is a divine Astra or Shastra?"
"Yup."
"…Targeting entire armies?"
"Correct."
Fa Git paled. "That's… That's…"
Shotaro grinned. "Bullshit? Broken? Absolutely the most unfair thing ever conceived?"
Fa Git nodded slowly.
Paliv scowled again. "Okay, but there's gotta be a counter, right?"
Urvashi sighed. "Yes. The only way to survive Narayanastra… is to not fight back."
Paliv frowned. "What."
Shotaro nodded. "Narayanastra doesn't attack people. It attacks threats. If you're armed, if you're fighting, if you so much as think about resisting, the Astra and Shastra will find you and end you. But if you drop your weapons and surrender, they pass right over you."
Fa Git let out a long, dead sigh. "…I'll stick to throwing knives."
"Good call," Shotaro said, giving him a reassuring nod.
Paliv, however, wasn't done yet. She turned to Shotaro, arms crossed, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. "Alright, so how many of these reality-breaking divine weapons do you know about?"
Shotaro didn't hesitate. "All of them."
Paliv blinked. Fa Git blinked. Urvashi looked like she wanted to punch something.
"…The fuck?" Fa Git finally managed to say.
Shotaro exhaled, running a hand through his silver hair. "Listen, you don't know the shenanigans I survived before I woke up in Drakastradorn."
Paliv frowned. "What do you mean, shenanigans?"
Shotaro gestured vaguely. "I mean… everything. Gods, demons, cosmic warfare, reincarnations, divine betrayals, timeline collapses, dimensional nonsense, people trying to marry me for reasons—"
Urvashi coughed violently.
Shotaro continued without acknowledging it. "—and, of course, bullshit training arcs that should've killed me several times over."
Fa Git looked at him skeptically. "And you remember all of that?"
Shotaro scratched his cheek awkwardly. "Ah, well, see… no. My amnesia is, uh, kind of an asshole. It's like a slow software update that only installs files at the worst possible moments. Half the time, I don't even know what I know until someone brings it up, and suddenly—bam—flashback unlocked, divine knowledge retrieved, now I remember how to erase a dimension with a cough."
Paliv stared. "That's so fucking unfair."
Shotaro sighed. "Tell me about it. Imagine waking up one day and suddenly remembering that you can summon a flaming space-time erasing trident, but you don't remember why you can. It's like being given a nuke but no instruction manual."
Fa Git's expression twisted in discomfort. "Okay, but, like, why are you only remembering things now?"
Shotaro shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe it's trauma. Maybe it's fate. Maybe it's some celestial version of git good forcing me to slowly unlock my own DLC."
Paliv facepalmed. "So what you're saying is—"
Shotaro leaned in close, grabbing both Paliv and Fa Git by the shoulders, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper.
"Listen, my amnesia isn't even the real problem. Alakshmi doesn't like it when I even think about using another weapon."
Paliv squinted. "Huh?"
Shotaro's eyes darted to the side, like a man afraid of being overheard by an omniscient and vengeful entity.
"I mean, she really doesn't like it. I don't want to get murdered in my sleep by my own sword's soul, so I actively avoid using anything else. Someone please save me from her. Oh my fucking god."
Paliv and Fa Git exchanged glances.
"…You're scared of your own katana?" Fa Git asked, barely holding back a snort.
"Yes," Shotaro hissed, "because she's crazy."
"Define crazy."
Shotaro's voice dropped even lower, barely above a whisper.
"She once whispered 'good morning' to me in a dream and then stabbed me awake."
Fa Git gagged. Paliv took a cautious step back.
Before anyone could process that particular horror, Wim Py, who had been lying on the ground in existential despair, finally spoke up again.
"Uhh," he croaked, voice hoarse from both trauma and loss, "can we go back to getting my dick back?"
Shotaro blinked.
"…Oh. Right. Yeah, uh… Urvashi, give him his dick back."
Urvashi, still looking way too interested in Shotaro's divine nonsense, waved a lazy hand. "Mmm… can't."
Wim Py paled. "What."
Urvashi stretched. "Yeah, I, uh… can't undo my curses. Too complicated. Too divine. Too 'whoops, should've read the fine print' kinda deal."
Shotaro frowned. "Wait, what?"
Wim Py, now vibrating, managed to choke out, "What the fuck do you mean you can't?!"
"I can, however," Urvashi said smoothly, ignoring his panic, "limit the effects for, say… a year?"
Shotaro immediately nodded. "Acceptable."
Wim Py's entire soul left his body. "THE FUCK YOU MEAN 'ACCEPTABLE'?! YOU MEAN I GOTTA SQUAT TO PEE FOR A YEAR NOW?!"
"Yeah."
Wim Py's mouth opened. No words came out.
Only pain.
Shotaro, meanwhile, ignored the suffering of his newly be-vagina'd companion and turned to Urvashi with a much more pressing issue.
"Urvashi, we need your help."
The Apsara raised an eyebrow. "You need my help?"
"Yeah. We need you to use your… uh… 'diplomatic' skills to establish a dialogue with the village elders."
Urvashi immediately straightened, her smirk returning. "Say no more."
Fa Git blinked. "Wait. You're just saying yes?"
Urvashi shrugged. "That dude standing right there? He's Vishnu. One of the three big guys. Everyone knows better than to refuse."
Fa Git squinted at Shotaro. "...So you're saying if I just stand next to this dude, people will do whatever I ask?"
"No," Shotaro said flatly.
Fa Git groaned. "Figures."
Urvashi leaned in. "Look, I may be divine, but I'm not stupid. If I say no, the Chakra might look at me funny, and I'd rather not take that risk."
Shotaro crossed his arms, nodding in satisfaction. "Sometimes, being an incarnation of a god isn't that bad."
Wim Py, still on the ground, rolled over and screamed into the dirt.
Wim Py, still making pained noises, dragged himself off the ground and stumbled back toward his hut, muttering every profanity he knew under his breath. Shotaro, Fa Git, Paliv, and Urvashi watched him go, each silently wondering if he would ever recover from this emotionally, mentally, or physically.
Spoiler: He would not.
When Wim Py reached his hut, he swung the door open, prepared to collapse into his bed and cry himself to sleep.
Instead, he was met with the single most traumatic sight of his life.
His parents were going at it.
Like feral animals.
They barely even noticed him at first, too caught up in their impromptu grief-induced baby-making session.
It was only after a long, horrified pause that his mother, Big Kant, screamed.
"OH MY GOD—WHAT THE FUCK, WIM PY!?"
His father, Pa Py, nearly dislocated something in his panic.
Wim Py slammed the door shut and stood outside, completely still. His brain had shut down. His body had become an empty husk. His soul had ascended to a higher plane just to escape the sheer visceral horror of what he had just witnessed.
From inside the hut, Big Kant's voice rang out.
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! WE WERE REPLACING YOU!"
Wim Py let out a long, dead groan. He wasn't sure what was worse—his parents going at it or them so readily moving on.
Then, as if the universe had not already cursed him enough today, Big Kant kicked open the door and zeroed in on Shotaro.
"You! You dick-stealing, divinely incarnated motherfucker!" she shrieked, her eyes practically glowing with pure, unfiltered rage. "My baby has to squat to piss for a year because of you!"
Shotaro, arms still crossed, sighed. "To be fair, that's mostly his fault."
"HOW THE FUCK IS IT HIS FAULT!?"
"He could've just not called out for you, but he just had to open his mouth. This is a valuable life lesson about shutting up."
Big Kant's fury only intensified. She stormed toward Shotaro, fists clenched, prepared to throw hands with a literal god's reincarnation.
And then Urvashi, uninterested in Wim Py's family drama, simply turned and strutted toward the village elders' hut like she owned the place.
—
The elders, all of whom had been vehemently against this whole diplomatic nonsense, had no idea what hit them.
Urvashi had come in, given them a single glance, and then completely dismantled their willpower with a show of divine charm.
She danced, she sang, she spoke sweetly about the joys of unity and peace.
She smiled, she twirled, she utterly destroyed their ability to form logical counterarguments.
By the end of it, grown men were weeping.
One had proposed.
Another had simply fallen to his knees and whispered, "I have seen divinity, and it is her."
The head elder wiped his tears and, with trembling reverence, cleared his throat.
"…We shall allow the imperial elf and the human to stay."
A stunned silence.
Fa Git turned to Shotaro. "Wait, that's it?"
"Yeah," Shotaro said, blinking. "That's it."
Paliv, ever the realist, immediately took advantage of the situation. "By the way, I totally killed your warriors when they infiltrated our city."
The elders, still dazed from Urvashi's mind-warping charisma, merely nodded.
"…Yes. That was expected."
"…Wait, really?"
"We assumed you would."
"…Oh."
There was an awkward pause.
Shotaro slowly raised his hand. "So… we good?"
The head elder sighed, still visibly enchanted by the Apsara's presence.
"…You have our blessing. One year."
Urvashi smirked. "Pleasure doing business."
In the distance, Wim Py's soul could be heard leaving his body.