Explain? How was he supposed to explain this?
There was no way Kei could tell Tsunade that he was just rambling nonsense and planning to take her down in one move when he got the chance. After all, in that situation, the only thing he could think of was the reason why she came looking for him and got physical with him.
It was probably just because of the rumors about him and Kushina circulating in the village.
The key issue was that he had no way to explain those rumors, and Tsunade didn't seem like she wanted to hear any explanations anyway.
If he didn't take her down first, was he supposed to just stand there and let her wreck his house? Later, when Kei heard Kushina say that Tsunade came looking for him because she couldn't borrow money from her…
He thought about it for a moment and finally understood. Was Tsunade really short on money?
As the strongest medical-nin in the current shinobi world and one of the Sannin, if she just spread the word that she was out of money, forget borrowing, people would be lining up to give her money for free.
It was just that the Tsunade at this stage wasn't as completely disillusioned as she was in the original story. She only let go of her image entirely when she was with family.
So, when she saw Kushina seriously analyzing what kind of money could be borrowed and what couldn't, and once again advising her to stop gambling, of course, she had to come take a look.
This woman… she came to inspect her future brother-in-law!
Kei's expression almost cracked. At least at this moment, he genuinely wanted to cover his face and run away.
What a miscalculation!
At the time, he was only thinking about stopping this violent woman from destroying his house. If he had known earlier, he should've had a little more patience and sparred with her for a while longer.
Who knows, maybe after her little test, they could've all sat down happily for dinner?
"Aiya~ Tsunade-nee~ I heard that Jiraiya-senpai and Orochimaru-senpai are back too! How about we invite them over tonight and have some fun together?"
Seeing her boyfriend's awkward expression, Kushina quickly stepped forward, wrapped her arms around Tsunade's, and changed the subject with a cheerful smile.
"Tch~ What's so fun about those two idiots? I'd rather watch this kid's genjutsu."
Tsunade pouted unhappily but let Kushina pull her over to the couch.
She had figured it out.
Kushina's whole heart was with this kid, and she wouldn't tolerate him being wronged in the slightest.
Hah—women in love… hopeless.
"Well then, after dinner, I'll perform for you, Tsunade-nee?" Kei tested the waters.
Tsunade gave him a "you're finally getting it" look before turning to pat her flat stomach. Then, she shot Kushina a glance that basically said, You handle this.
She had overslept this morning and missed breakfast, then spent the whole afternoon slaughtering enemies in the illusion world. Now that the sky was dark, if she didn't eat soon, she was afraid even her chest would shrink from hunger.
"I got it, I got it!" Kei quickly got up from the couch and headed straight for the kitchen.
This was at least Kushina's family visiting.
At first, he didn't understand the situation, so knocking her out with genjutsu was one thing, but if he didn't even offer her a meal now, that would be way too rude. Besides, if Kushina went to cook, he'd have to stay here making awkward conversation with Tsunade.
And… He was afraid his toes would curl from embarrassment.
"Do you remember the announcement the village made a while ago?" Kushina, amused by her boyfriend's hasty retreat, turned to strike up a conversation with Tsunade.
"Announcement? Who even pays attention to that stuff?"
"It was about the Uzumaki clan!"
"Oh—so?"
"This time, Kei and Minato went on a mission together and brought back a girl from the Uzumaki clan. Her name is Honoka. I heard she's dating Minato…"
"Wait, hold on. Why do all you Uzumaki women like blond guys?"
"Huh?"
"What do you mean 'huh'? Do you only look at faces when picking a boyfriend? I remember…"
The two girls lowered their voices, chatting in the living room.
Kei vaguely overheard the conversation in the living room and almost rolled his eyes to the sky.
What do you mean all Uzumaki women like blond guys? His hair wasn't just blonde—it was gold! Gold! And besides… weren't they basically the same?
Weren't their hair colors the same?
"Forget it, since you just called me handsome, I'll let this slide." Muttering to himself, Kei decided to spare his future sister-in-law for now.
He turned around, opened the fridge, picked out his favorite vegetables and meats to prepare dinner, and then glanced at the system interface. He had just received three chances to draw new traits, and he hadn't used them yet.
Let's gacha!
---
[Obtained:
- One Pregnancy, Nine Babies (Blue)
- Nothing to His Name (Gray)
- Expired Milk (White)]
[One Pregnancy, Nine Babies (Blue):
A natural pregnancy-enhancing physique. Increases pregnancy probability, with a small chance of having twins, triplets… up to nine babies. Enhances post-birth recovery and likelihood of future pregnancies.]
[Nothing to His Name (Gray):
A pitiful guy cursed by misfortune. No matter how hard he tries to change, his length will gradually shrink to below 5cm. Greatly increases the chance of being disliked by partners, breakups, divorces, and self-esteem issues.]
[Expired Milk (White):
When using medical ninjutsu, causes unpredictable, subtle changes in its nature. Slightly improves medical ninjutsu control and healing effects, but patients may experience mild, short-term side effects.]
---
One blue, one gray, one white… Kei pursed his lips and subconsciously glanced at Kushina and Tsunade, who were whispering in the living room.
He had only just started dating Kushina today, and the system was already thinking about babies? Wasn't that a bit too soon?
And twins or triplets were still manageable…
Diaper changes, feeding, rocking them to sleep—two parents could handle it.
But nine babies at once... was this some kind of malicious curse?!
Giving birth was already tough for women. Carrying nine at once? Even with a C-section, wasn't that basically a death sentence?!
And even if she somehow survived… Nine babies wailing at the same time, all needing to be fed… Holy, Kei shuddered violently. Nope, nope, not thinking about it. This trait was practically as bad as a cursed black trait!
And then there was [Nothing to His Name].
At first glance, he thought it meant losing all his money.
But no—it was worse than [One Pregnancy, Nine Babies]!
It even specifically stated: "No matter how hard you try, it will still shrink."
So even Orochimaru's soft-body modifications wouldn't save him?!
Kei glanced downward and silently thanked fate for his generous proportions. Otherwise, this would have been terrifying.
As for the last one, [Expired Milk]…
For a medical ninja, it was probably, maybe, somewhat useful? It increased medical ninjutsu control and healing effects, but the mild side effects part was…
"Did I forget to wash my hands? Or have I just been doing too many bad things lately?"
Kei glanced at his hands, which were currently washing vegetables, and immediately rejected that thought.
No way, this wasn't his fault. Absolutely not!
He was a guy who loved his village. Though, he did take out the ANBU leader. He cared about his friends and even set up Minato's love life. He helped others—he even made Kurama smile. And he guided his students with care, while occasionally using them as free labor.
He was a good guy. So, how could he be the problem? If anything, it was the system's fault!
This shady system was probably broken from the start! Ever since he got the system, how many proper traits had he even drawn?!
Yeah, that was right. It was all the system's fault!
He was a good guy!!