He wandered leisurely back to the entrance of the clan's territory.
Kei glanced toward his home, noticing the wisps of smoke rising from the chimney and a few elderly clan members looking at him with teasing expressions.
Kushina was definitely at his house.
Recalling what Minato had told him before leaving Konoha about the gossip circulating at the temporary jonin standby station, he felt a slight headache coming on.
Given Kushina's habit of frequently visiting the jonin standby station, there was no way she hadn't heard those rumors.
A loan turning into a bride price, a savings book becoming undeniable proof of a relationship, staying over for one night turning into solid evidence of cohabitation…
"Sanpei, come here."
Kei waved at a clan member, who had just returned from outside carrying a basket of vegetables.
"What's up?"
Sanpei, who had just entered his sixth year at the Ninja Academy, still had the clear-eyed foolishness of youth. Seeing Kei calling him over, he ran up eagerly.
"While I was away, did the heads of the Ino-Shika-Chō clans get beaten up?"
"Huh? Who would dare beat up them?"
"… Do you know where the temporary jonin standby station is after the previous one was destroyed?"
"Y-Yeah, I do."
"Has it been torn down?"
"Huh? N-No, it hasn't."
"Keep your innocent look, and go home early for dinner."
Kei generously pulled out a few 200-ryō bills from his pocket and stuffed them into Sanpei's hands.
"Hehe~ Thanks!"
Sanpei grinned, tucked away the money, and happily bounced home.
If answering a few simple questions could earn him this much pocket money, then Kei was definitely the most generous man in the clan!
Kei had successfully gathered the answers he needed.
Instantly, he felt at ease—his heart no longer pounded, his face stayed cool, and he walked with confidence and swagger!
If Shikaku, Inoichi, and Chōza—those notorious gossip spreaders—hadn't been beaten up, it meant Kushina hadn't taken her anger out on them.
And if the temporary jonin standby station hadn't been demolished, it meant Kushina had known about these rumors in advance.
Or rather, these rumors had started spreading with her tacit approval. Though he wasn't sure how Shikaku and the others had communicated with Kushina, the fact that she had allowed this meant—she had made up her mind. She wasn't hiding it anymore.
She wanted to be with him!
Otherwise, what kind of girl would tolerate such rumors?
Ehehehe~
Should he start being more proactive? She had already gone this far. As the man in the relationship, he needed to show enough sincerity and commitment.
After all, love was a two-way street.
He couldn't possibly let the girl take the lead in confessing, right?
With his hands in his pockets, Kei hummed a cheerful tune from his past life and strutted toward his house with an air of unshakable confidence.
Meanwhile, the elders sitting at the clan entrance exchanged glances.
"What's up with him?"
"No idea. But I saw him give Sanpei some money—he must've gotten the answers he wanted."
"Is Lady Tsunade's name really not intimidating enough anymore?"
"I thought he'd bolt at the mention of Tsunade's name. Last time Jiraiya offended her, that punch…"
"My mom—cough, my wife just called me for lunch. I'm heading back."
"Same here. It's noon already—time for lunch."
"Yeah, yeah!"
The clan members who had gathered at the entrance suddenly scattered.
And before Kei even reached his doorstep—
Multiple chakra signatures, through various sensing jutsu, locked onto his front door with precision.
"???"
Kei furrowed his brows.
Seriously? You bunch of old geezers, missing limbs and all, really have nothing better to do?
Can't a guy just have a relationship without you gossiping about it?
If the clan's sensory barrier wasn't activated, would you all just go ahead and sense inside the house directly? And what's with these so-called "hidden" sensory techniques?
One or two, fine.
In Konoha, most people wouldn't notice. But for fuck's sake, eight of them stacked together? Anyone would feel like they were being watched!
He raised a proud middle finger toward the sky.
Kei made up his mind—he needed to open that breakfast shop he had been planning as soon as possible.
Weren't these old geezers too idle for their own good?
Grinding tofu, making soy milk, steaming buns, shaping dumplings, frying dough sticks, flipping pancakes, pan-frying shrimp dumplings…
No rush—he had plenty of work to keep them busy! But for now, he had to make them back off first.
Maintaining his middle-finger salute, Kei directly infused a mental shockwave from his illusion into the dozen or so sensory techniques targeting him.
"Ow! You little bastard! That was dirty!"
"Ahh! My hemorrhoids!"
"Ugh! You brat! I was just checking on you, and you dare hit me with such a nasty jutsu?!"
"Honey! Come help me look at this—"
"You're not even fifty yet! And you already shit yourself?! You—you—"
"Let me explain..."
The once-quiet Yamanaka clan compound instantly erupted into chaos. Especially in the house of that poor guy who, thanks to the genjutsu, suddenly lost control of his sphincter.
Complete and utter mayhem.
Kei, sensing that all the sensory techniques had dissipated, nodded in satisfaction.
Standing in front of his house, he took several deep breaths. After composing himself, he finally reached for the handle and pushed open the door.
"I'm home."
His voice carried an uncharacteristic gentleness. That was—until he saw the blonde woman sitting cross-legged in the living room just past the entrance.
She was holding a bottle of sake, her face flushed with intoxication.
His smile instantly froze.
Shit.
He guessed wrong!
"Hmm? Brat! I've been waiting for you!"
Tsunade, sake bottle in hand, paused slightly. Her red lips parted into a smile—excited yet sinister.
With a single slap on the coffee table, she launched herself forward like a pouncing tiger. Her right fist, infused with chakra and cutting through the air like a blade, came straight for Kei's face!
The hell?! She's using her punch right away?!
With the enhanced reaction speed granted by his [Zero-Frame Start], Kei clearly saw the dense chakra concentrated around Tsunade's fist.
Forget taking that hit directly—even a mere graze would send an elite jonin straight to the afterlife!
She had blocked all escape routes inside the house. The force of her punch was aimed toward the front door, meaning she was deliberately trying to blast him outside to avoid damaging the house!
Her footwork was cautious, keeping a fraction of her weight ready for evasive maneuvers—she was wary of his clan's secret techniques.
And the Yin Seal on her forehead, once a pale blue, had darkened, pulsing rhythmically as it released small amounts of chakra.
She was defending against his genjutsu?
Hah~ Let's test my Water Release.
SPLASH—
Kei's muscles bulged as his entire body surged with strength.
Instead of retreating, he advanced. Stepping in low, he caught Tsunade's wrist with his right hand before her punch could land.
Her punch carried an overwhelming force, but using that very momentum, he twisted his body and flipped her over his shoulder, throwing her straight out the front door!