130. Profound Significance
Li Aozi ignored Nimotin's despondent expression and hung up, looking at the last name on his list.
"Hmm... if something goes wrong, that wouldn't be good."
Li Aozi hesitated for a moment but decided to make the call.
"Beep... beep... The number you have dialed is not in service. Please try again later."
He hung up and redialed; right now, Li Aozi needed every bit of help he could get.
"Beep... beep..."
The ringtone went on for a long time without any change on the call interface.
Just as Li Aozi was about to give up, the call suddenly connected.
Click.
"…Mr. Li Aozi?"
A calm young female voice answered him.
"Sorry for calling you so suddenly and disturbing you."
Li Aozi couldn't see the video; he didn't know if it was inconvenient for her to turn it on or if the terminal camera was broken. Just hearing her voice made him feel a little uneasy, but he continued:
"Though it might be abrupt to say this... could you come and help me, Miss Yavanna?"
Yavanna was silent for a moment before she spoke suddenly:
"…Are you saying you really need me now?"
"Not exactly."
The moment Li Aozi finished speaking, he noticed something peculiar in her tone.
It was as if she had some faint sense of "expectation."
He immediately changed his approach:
"I mean, if it's too troublesome or you can't do it, you can refuse."
"—What do you need me to do?"
Yavanna's soft tone caught Li Aozi off guard; until now, most of the women he'd met were independent, strong-willed, and resilient.
But Yavanna was different. Perhaps it was the mystery of not seeing her face, or maybe it was because she'd recently experienced some setbacks—her voice was both gentle and vulnerable.
Her voice was like warm cotton candy, wrapping around Li Aozi's ears, warm and sticky, full of dependency.
It had been a long time since Li Aozi had encountered someone so reliant on him; it made him a bit uncomfortable. He decided to say:
"Yavanna, are you okay lately? If you have any problems, you can talk to me; I still have time."
"Nothing's wrong with me, I just..."
"Just what, Miss Yavanna?"
"I just feel so happy when I hear that someone, especially you, needs me…"
Yavanna's voice was somewhat unsteady, as if she was walking in a windy place, and Li Aozi immediately thought of the Outer Realm.
"Are you in the Outer Realm?"
"Don't worry about me, but if you are really concerned about my safety, I would be flattered..." Yavanna seemed to tuck the terminal close under her cloak, speaking softly.
Her gentle voice was like a whisper in his ear, clear enough that Li Aozi felt as though Yavanna was leaning against his shoulder, speaking into his ear.
"It sounds like whether I worry or not, it's still wrong."
Li Aozi spread his hands:
"Honestly, you don't have to hide anything, Yavanna. If you're worried about being disliked after someone gets to know you, then you'll never make friends."
"…Friends?" Yavanna seemed slightly surprised. "You only see me as a friend?"
"Not exactly, Yavanna. You hold a special significance to me; you're one of a kind on this planet."
Li Aozi said:
"You have talents that others don't, and that's very important to me."
"My existence has significance to others." Yavanna murmured. "I'm significant... meaningful to you..."
There was a hint of girlish glee in her tone.
"Yavanna, don't belittle yourself."
At this point, Li Aozi was no longer focused on seeking Yavanna's help; he was worried about her mental state. If something were to happen, he'd lose his [Object Resonance] and might not be able to find it again.
"Thank you for telling me this. I'm really happy." Yavanna said, "Am I also unique to you?"
"You are the most unique existence on this planet."
Li Aozi admitted:
"It could take hundreds of thousands, even millions of years to find someone like you. In a way, you are a divine treasure, one of a kind."
"…But I think I'm not worthy of that."
Yavanna suddenly sank back into despair:
"Mr. Li Aozi, I'm not as great as you say. I'm clumsy and foolish, unable to do anything right, and in trying not to die this way, I made unforgivable mistakes. My existence defies morality; I'm a monster. I don't know what to do; the world rejects and abandons me… I'm scared."
She clearly had some psychological issues.
Li Aozi found a place to sit. Such things shouldn't be his responsibility to handle.
But Yavanna's mother had died, her father was in prison, her brother was unemployed, and she was working a job against her conscience. With all this pressure, it was a wonder she hadn't developed severe mental health issues.
"Yavanna."
"The whole world hates me, and I'm so scared. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I know I don't deserve forgiveness..."
"Yavanna!"
"I've seen terrifying things, but nothing as scary as my own mistakes. If others are hell, then I'm at least a demon king. I should die, but I'm too scared..."
"Yavanna, you idiot, can you shut up and listen to me!"
Unable to take it any longer, Li Aozi snapped at her. Yavanna's statements were getting more dangerous by the second, and anything could happen next.
"You say the whole world hates you—so what am I, Li Aozi? Am I just some irrelevant speck of dust?"
"That's not what I meant. I mean—"
"I don't hate you, Yavanna."
Li Aozi said:
"You're kind and thoughtful. Sometimes you're too naïve, but more often than not, you realize when you've done wrong and make things right."
"But the things I did before—"
"Is there anyone who hates you for your past mistakes?"
"She, Si Jia... Jia Jia... I caused her death, and she became a ghost..."
"Does she hate you?"
"…She's always clinging to me."
"I'm not asking that, Yavanna. I'm asking, does the 'Si Jia' you harmed, hate you?"
"…She says she loves me."
Yavanna said painfully:
"She traded her life for mine. Over the years, she hasn't harmed me, nor has she hated me. Instead, she loves me, protects me... I'm scared and in pain. I don't deserve to enjoy this; I'm weighed down by guilt, yet she forgives me... It's love—pure love. Why doesn't she hate me? This love torments me even more."
"Yavanna, life-for-life is one of the simplest emotions in the world."
Li Aozi said:
"But the one who sacrificed didn't do it for you to live in guilt."
"But she shouldn't have had to sacrifice—"
"You don't have the right to dictate the will of the sacrificer. That was her choice. You have the will to survive, and others have the courage to die."
Li Aozi said:
"Miss Yavanna, I don't know what happened between you two. But I do know this: if you can feel guilt and remorse for your past mistakes, then you are still human, and that's a good thing."
"I'm... human?"
"I'm not talking about species. I'm saying you still have a conscience, and that's enough."
Li Aozi said:
"I've seen evil humans betray their own kind for personal gain. I've also seen noble cosmic beings sacrifice their lives to protect a planet—believe me, some things aren't absolute."
"People used to label and separate others, but in the face of the cosmic calendar, you are all just specks of dust."
"I don't know what mistakes you've made, but if you haven't inflicted pain or harm on others and have reached this point because of another's sacrifice, then your life isn't just your own anymore."
Li Aozi raised his hand, and a flame illuminated the silhouettes of two girls.
"So what should I do, Li Aozi?"
Yavanna asked in confusion:
"I know saying this makes me sound pathetic, but I really don't know. Everything I do feels wrong. I've lost who I am, and my life is spiraling downward. The world hates me... I think... I can only trust you now. You're the only one who won't hate me."
"Live."
Li Aozi said.
"Live?"
Yavanna repeated the word.
"Yavanna, Nomi died in the Abyss Humanitarian's lab; her remains were lost. Qiu Ran died on a train home, and her ashes were scattered in the snow. I took their Omega Energy, and if I die, there will be no trace of them left in this world."
Li Aozi said:
"If you have no burdens, then even if you die, no one will care. You'd die selfishly and freely. But when you carry others' lives with you, your life isn't just yours anymore."
"If you have a good friend who knows you died, they would feel sad and hurt."
"If someone loves you, your death would be the end of their world."
"If someone believes in and supports you, your departure would cause them immense pain, and they would remember you forever."
"Yavanna, it might sound strange, but humans aren't beasts. Beasts live for survival and reproduction; humans are social creatures. Some people die, and the whole world celebrates, while others die, and the entire nation mourns. Humans live for themselves, but people—they live for others."
"Aozi... if I die, you would—"
"I've already said it, Yavanna." Li Aozi said, "You hold a special significance to me. You have family and someone who sacrificed themselves to keep you alive. From that moment, you were no longer just Yavanna; you were the Yavanna we like, want to be with, and are willing to sacrifice for."
"That's why you can't die. You have to carry the expectations of everyone and keep living—that's your 'redemption' for the mistakes of your past."
"Then—"
Yavanna's voice rose, and she eagerly asked:
"Mr. Li Aozi, would you like me that way?"
"I already said I don't dislike you, right?" Li Aozi smiled. "I don't dislike you, but whether I can like you is up to you."
"Thank you." Yavanna said, "For that reason, you are also one of the reasons for my existence."
"I hold feelings of affection for you, Mr. Li Aozi."