Chapter Four: Team-building
"Team Three: fail."
"Team Four: fail."
"You know, Team Five almost had it. Almost. There was this one move this one kid made, he did this sort of hip-twist thing during a throw-"
"Ahem, merely pass or fail, please."
"Oh, apologies Hokage-sama. Yeah, superhard fail."
"… thank you."
"Team Six: fail. Though I would like to request bi-monthly updates on one of them should they opt for the general forces. With some growth, there might even be chuunin-potential there down the line."
"Noted. I'll refer you to the Jonin Commander, he'll pass instructions to the chuunin captain of the rookie squads."
"Thank you, Hokage-sama."
The jonin-sensei stepped back into the group of assembled people standing in the Hokage's office, a little over a dozen total, making it somewhat cramped. The prospective jonin-sensei were gathered of course, as well as several sensei from the Academy, mostly to shed light on any prospective new shinobi if required.
'Though with every jonin having failed their students until now, there sadly hasn't been much of a need for them so far.' Hiruzen Sarutobi thought, a mixture of saddened and relieved.
To take a jonin practically off-duty for several years at least, making them unavailable for the high-profile, high-paying missions for the village as they were essentially relegated to babysitting duties, was a gamble one could only afford in peace time. In war, it would've been unthinkable to pull your strongest jonin away from the frontlines after all, though some jonin teams had flourished under such horrible circumstances, creating legends in their own right. Jiraiya's team, and of course Minato's team afterwards were prime examples of this. But the world had been enjoying an unprecedented long time of peace and stability, though it was bought at a great price at times, so now would've been the perfect opportunity to look towards their new generation and nourish the strength that would keep the tree of Konoha standing tall in future years.
Knowing that many of his jonin did not feel said new generation was worthy enough of their tutelage to carry it forwards, in a time where they could finally afford such valuable resources, was a blow to Hiruzen, but even more so to Iruka he imagined. The scarred young man had taken great pride in his homeroom class, a great honor and responsibility, especially given his young age. To have almost two dozen of his students, many children who he had been guiding and teaching for several years at this point, so casually dismissed by his peers and betters… it must be a blow to the man and Hiruzen's heart went out to the passionate young teacher.
But nonetheless, some part of Hiruzen was also gladdened that his jonin felt secure enough to be picky in who they'd take on as student and impart their hard-earned knowledge and secrets onto, instead of being forced by the circumstances of war to train the next generation into hardened killers like themselves. It was a shame that this current crop hadn't proved themselves worthy of their demands, but there was nothing inherently wrong with having high standards, especially when it came to a jonin's abilities, which were often gained through great hardship over a lifetime. There was no doubt that Iruka's teachings would see the dismissed children through a solid career in the general forces of Konoha; there was hardly a need in any army to have only frontline personnel after all.
As a veteran of three world wars, Hiruzen understood better than most the vital importance of a solid support structure and foundation for any army's long-term victory.
Besides all that though, Hiruzen could admit at least to himself that there was also a bias amongst the jonin which was somewhat less noble. After all, the children of clans had yet to come and those were sadly always given preference as students for jonin instruction. Not that Hiruzen agreed with that sentiment (after all, two of his own three students hadn't come from clans either) but it was an undeniable truth. Likely, more than a few of the jonin who had failed clanless children this year did so in the hopes of getting assigned a more elite team during next year's rotation. After all, while they might prefer students with more status, their own status as shinobi played a role as well in what kind of students they were assigned.
Last year, Guy had essentially gotten first dibs on Academy graduates, which he had shamelessly abused to snatch up the undeniable prodigy Hyuuga Neji, though he had baffled many by his insistence on claiming the rather talentless Rock Lee as well.
This year it had been Kakashi who had been first in line for team compositions and the Hokage wasn't too proud to admit that his own son had followed immediately after. While few would accuse him of nepotism (and even fewer would dare do so to his face) there was also simply the fact that Asuma was one of the strongest shinobi in the village after Kakashi and Guy. Kurenai Yuuhi had also sprung to the front of the line, much to the ire of more seasoned jonin given her very recent promotion, but her gift for Genjutsu was undeniable and sorely needed in the village with the demise of the Uchiha clan.
However, Hiruzen had been surprised by the vehement opposition from one person in particular. Not that the man had opposed her promotion or even her becoming a sensei in principle, but he had been absolutely adamant in which clan children should be appointed to the young woman's care.
All this meant that, while indeed well over half of Iruka's graduating class had been failed, the cream of the crop so to speak had yet to be determined.
… so where the hell were their jonin?!
"Is anyone aware of the whereabouts of Hatake Kakashi, Sarutobi Asuma and Yuuhi Kurenai?" Hiruzen eventually rumbled out, his eyes closed but his gravelly voice hinting at his displeasure and the assembled crowd of hardened jonin shuffled their feet.
"Well… there were these explosions a while back, at the edge of the village… they've died down a while ago…" one of them suggested and Hiruzen hummed at that.
He had been sorely tempted to take out his crystal ball when he saw the first dust cloud rise up near the edge of the forest line, since surely there was no need to go that hard against mere Academy graduates, but he had eventually decided against it. To take on a student as a jonin was not just a matter of passing on skills, it was also a matter of great trust and he would make for a poor leader indeed if he betrayed that trust from the very first day teacher and student were meant to forge said bond.
Besides, his own genin test had come with its own fair share of explosions as well.
Still, for all three of the jonin to be absent for so long…
A snip of his finger saw an ANBU materialize at his side. Some of the Academy teachers twitched at the man's sudden appearance, though most of the jonin barely even reacted at this point, a few of the better ones likely already having spotted the special operative beforehand.
"Take a team, track down the absent jonin sensei. Discover their whereabouts and escort them back to my office, or report back to me if they're on their way already." Hiruzen ordered and the ANBU bowed his head.
"Hai, Hokage-sama!"
"Oh, that won't be necessary, Hokage-sama. No need to send my little kohai here running himself ragged all over the village." The lazy voice of one of Konoha's most renowned ninja rang out through the office as the door was opened, Kakashi clearly having caught the order with his keen senses.
As expected, he walked in the room with his nose stuck in his little book. What wasn't expected was the poor condition of the book (everyone knew Kakashi's love for the work of Hiruzen's student) not to mention the poor condition of the man himself.
The spine of the book was bent and the pages were wrinkly, clearly haven gotten soaked at some point and left to dry. There was even a small diamond-shaped hole in the front cover, which Hiruzen's eyes immediately recognized as having been made by the tip of a kunai. Similar battle damage covered the rest of the man as well. There were rips in his clothing, most prominently a tear in his ever-present face mask (causing several of the jonin to lean forwards eagerly for a glimpse of the man's face, however brief), the pockets of his flak jacket were noticeably empty and there was the faint, but very noticeable scent of smoke wafting off the man. He looked as if he had just come of a double, back-to-back S rank mission, not an afternoon of putting 12 year olds through their paces!
What was somehow even more surprising was the state of the people that followed Kakashi into the office. Kurenai and Asuma were leaning on each other, both looking equally as battle-damaged as the son of the White Fang (and Asuma was doing a very bad job at hiding his pleasure at being used as the gorgeous woman's walking stick), with his own son wearing an absolute shiner of a black eye, the purplish bruise covering almost the entire left side of his face. The perpetual cigarette held between his lips was broken halfway, the end dangling limply which was almost as blasphemous as the state of Kakashi's Icha Icha book.
To Hiruzen's surprise, Guy and Hamaru followed the trio inside, despite the former already having his own genin team and the latter having absolutely zero chance of ever becoming a jonin sensei himself thanks to his dark past, despite arguably being the third or fourth strongest being currently in the room. Guy was wearing an enormous shining grin (literally, as the Hokage was forced to briefly narrow his eyes against the glare when the man's teeth were caught in the setting sun at Hiruzen's back), despite the many tears in his jumpsuit and Hiruzen noted to his shock he had divested himself of his orange legwarmers, which the Hokage knew hid truly monstrous ankle weights.
In contrast, Hamaru seemed to be in the best state of all of them, physically at least, though that was likely thanks to the unique healing factor the giant Inuzuka possessed. His clothing certainly seemed to have suffered quite heavily. While he wasn't wearing his usual duster over his tank top, the shirt itself had one of its shoulder straps cut and there was a giant circular burn mark square in the middle of the torso, exposing the muscled chest underneath, as if the man had been hit with a fist… that was on fire.
'Actually…' Hiruzen mused as he once again glanced at the weightless Guy.
Though he knew Asuma favored Katon jutsu as well..
Lowering his hat over his eyes, Hiruzen simply grunted and dismissed the still waiting ANBU with a wave of his hand, who had somehow managed to portray a distinct aura of embarrassed frustration with Kakashi's greeting and even more so with the man's jaunty wave towards the operative's retreating back.
Tough it was heartening to see both Kakashi and Tenzo be still on good terms after the hardships they had both suffered at the hands of Danzo and Orochimaru, Hiruzen still felt like he had to regain control of the conversation in his own office, especially considering the smell of smoke coming off the five jonin was beginning to become somewhat overpowering in the cramped space, even with the decades' worth of tobacco smoke he had personally contributed to the room over the years.
"What is the meaning of this?" Hiruzen thundered, and despite having his body remain seated in his chair, the effect was immediate on his subordinates, many of them almost instinctively straightened up to stand at attention.
"Oh, we just wanted to report the results of our genin tests. Or was that not today?" Kakashi idly replied in the face of his leader's ire, gently trying to turn a waterlogged page without tearing the material.
Well, most of his subordinates at least.
"It is today. In fact, it started nearly four hours ago!" Hiruzen harshly replied, to absolutely no effect.
"See? We're practically on time."
Hiruzen sighed as he sunk a bit lower in his chair, recognizing a losing battle when faced with one.
"And why were you almost on time now, Kakashi? With the state of you, I can only imagine a small army of black cats and sweet old grannies crossed your path this time." Hiruzen prodded sarcastically.
Kakashi lowered his Icha Icha slightly, just so he could show his smiling eye over the edge of the battered book in his hands.
"My, how accurate Hokage-sama! Truly you are The Professor as they say!" the man said with infuriating sincerity.
"Hmpf! And the same goes for the rest of you I imagine?" Hiruzen rumbled and while Kurenai at least looked somewhat nervous and abashed in the face of her leader's ire, his son had long since become immune to such glares and he simply shrugged for the both of them.
Further behind them, the always optimistic Guy likely hadn't even registered Hiruzen's frustration, placing his fists on his hips and nodding happily while at his side, the ever recalcitrant Hamaru simply grinned back, showing off those typical Inuzuka fangs.
Hiruzen could only imagine that a lifetime underneath Orochimaru's tutelage made one practically immune to mere glares. The thought brought a sudden spike of sadness to his weary heart and he coughed as he focused back on the present.
"Explain. Your assignment was to test your compatibility with some Academy graduates. Considering the state of you, I can only assume that the near half hour of explosions in the village today, beyond the borders of the cemetery, had something to do with your tests. What prompted you to find such force necessary? And how was such force used against all three of you?" Hiruzen stated firmly.
"Well, you see, it all started with Haruno Sakura." Kakashi stated simply to the surprise of everyone in the room, not the least of which Iruka, who jumped up from his seat.
"Sakura did this to you? All of you? But… how?"
"Turns out, Hamaru here has been honing that mind of hers on the sly into something that is truly horrifying." Kakashi said idly, jabbing a finger over his shoulder towards the grinning Inuzuka as he finally put his book away.
Hiruzen had been aware of course of how nearly all of the clan children of this year's graduates had been frequenting the home of the former exile (of course he had been, considering how both Kakashi and Iruka had logged complaints with him about that very thing, to say nothing of the near constant beratement he received from his former teammates over the freedom he allowed the troubled Inuzuka) but he had allowed it nonetheless because he had seen how significantly it had strengthened the bonds between Naruto and who he sincerely hoped would become his comrades and allies in time.
The young blonde hadn't had it easy in the Village, Hiruzen knew, and it pained him to admit his part in that. So, despite his own misgivings, he had stood firm and promised himself that Naruto's wellbeing and happiness would be the one thing he wouldn't interfere in, the one thing in his life that he would be selfish in and choose the wants of Sarutobi Hiruzen, the man Naruto called 'Grandpa' over the needs of the Third Hokage, the man known the world over as 'The God of Shinobi'.
'But to think that Hamaru has been training these children to such an extent that they leave hardened jonin like this… impossible.'
"Explain your meaning." Hiruzen pressed and Kakashi pretended to think for a moment before glancing at the assembled jonin.
"Hmm… imagine a Nara…"
"…yes?"
"With the work ethic of Guy here."
"YOSH!"
For a moment, silence, pure and complete silence, dominated the office, before Iruka sat back down in his chair again, a slightly stunned look on his face mixed with pride.
"Mercy save us all…" someone in the crowd whispered in a horrified voice to dark agreeing mutters of the rest of the crowd.
"Enough! Kakashi, would you just get it over with and explain what happened today? What events did Haruno Sakura apparently set in motion that led to five of my strongest jonin to trudge into my office like they were genin fresh off a Tora the cat mission?"
Kakashi merely eye-smiled.
"You know what my motto is, right Hokage?"
"Don't wake me up before 11 AM?"
"No, the other one."
"Never mention numbers and physical activity in the same sentence around Might Guy?"
"YOSH!"
"No, the other one."
"You shouldn't read Lord Jiraiya's book in the order they were published; you should begin with Icha Icha Innocence before starting on Icha Icha Violence and finally finish on Icha Icha Paradise."
"Hokage-sama! For shame!"
"They are highly respected literary masterpieces about the stirring intricacies of complex relations between men and women!"
"No, the other one, though that is a really good one."
"A shinobi should always look underneath the underneath?"
"That's the one!"
"… you know, I always wondered what he meant with that. Like, if it's underneath something, then that's the real deal already, right? Since it was hidden in the first place? How can something be, like… more hidden?"
"I think it has to do with layers. Like with mind games. Like you think you've found something, but they wanted you to find that specific something, so really, all you've done is you uncovered something they are fine with you discovering, so you gotta dig even deeper…"
"What, so you're saying you can stack underneath-s?"
"It's underneath-s all the way down man."
"ANYWAYS… As it turned out, Haruno Sakura had already figured this part out pretty quick, which is how we unfortunately were forced to keep escalating the situation against our students." Kakashi loudly mused over the discussion in the crowd and Hiruzen's sharp mind immediately noted the title he gave the prospective genin.
A small smile now on his face, he leaned back further in his chair and lit up his pipe.
"Tell me everything."
Some hours (and a lot of bruises) earlier that day
A punch sent Kakashi's lithe form flying. Thinking fast, he turned the motion into a corkscrew, took a kunai out of his pouch and sent it hurling towards the window he was rapidly approaching. The blackened steel of the combat knife shattered the window and the airborne Hatake tucked in his shoulders, tightened his rotation and flitted through the now shattered glass with nary a scratch on his combat vest, coming up in a smooth combat roll in a civilian's kitchen.
With said civilians sitting at their kitchen table, spoons and chopsticks lifted halfway to their gaping mouths as they stared up at him with wide eyes.
"Good afternoon. Itadakimasu. The stairs?" Kakashi said casually.
Slowly, the youngest of two children pointed towards a hallway to their left, a dumpling still hovering a few inches in front of his mouth and the tall shinobi gave the kid a thankful nod as he hurried his way out of the room.
"Wait, shinobi-san!" he heard behind him as the father of the household was finally roused from his shocked stupor, but by then Kakashi had already zipped down the hallway, rushed down the stairs, threw open the door and-
"Whoa!"
-was immediately forced to slide further on his knees, the silver tips of his hair brushing just underneath the burly arm of Hamaru which had swung forwards in a ruthless clothesline that would've caught Kakashi square in the face-mask if not for his superb reflexes.
"You know, for all the shit you gave the kids for running away all the time, I'm a bit surprised you're not taking this opportunity to stand and try to beat the shit out of me. I would've expected differently from Guy's 'Eternal Rival'." The enormous Inuzuka mused, seemingly not at all bothered by missing that last blow, merely rolling out his shoulder instead as he slowly stalked towards the cautious Kakashi.
"You forget the goal of their test, and thus your contract. Beating one another into a pulp is irrelevant to the success of the mission."
At Hamaru's raised eyebrow, Kakashi fished the two silver bells from his belt, holding them up for his opponent to see, Hamaru's eyes narrowing in suspicion.
"The true goal of the mission is to claim these bells." He explained, before he showed the other hand that he had hid behind his back while he distracted the Inuzuka's gaze with the bells.
Hamaru's eyes widened as he saw what Kakashi was up to, but even as his large muscles coiled to spring into action, the silver-haired Hatake put his plan into motion.
"And I'm not going to let that happen. Summoning Technique!"
His other hand, the sealing matrix already prepped behind his back and spread on his palm, clasped over the two bells in his outstretched hand before both were engulfed in a puff of smoke. When it cleared, the two bells were gone, their only evidence being the red strings that they used to dangle from, which now suspended two of his fastest ninken by their clamped shut jaws instead.
For a split second, both opponents stood across from another, completely silent, their forms utterly still as the muscles in their bodies tensed-
"Mommy, can I pet that dawg?"
"Honey no!"
Hamaru exploded into motion, kicking up a cloud of dust at his feet from the sheer force of his push off (and incidentally throwing said dust straight into the face of the civilian father who had only now managed to follow Kakashi down the stairs and out into the street, only to get smacked full in the face with kicked-up gravel the moment he spotted the scarecrow ninja).
"Urushi! Shiba! Double time it, get out of here!"
Two muffled 'Hai!' were his answers and then the dogs were off, ducking and weaving between people's legs or jumping over carts and heads, to the surprised shouts of many. Trained ninken who had been Kakashi's trusted companions for years even on his most dangerous missions, the two dogs immediately knew exactly what to do, wisely going in completely opposite directions, meaning that even if he could catch one of them (and Kakashi had to admit it was a distinct possibility) Hamaru could never hope to reclaim both bells.
Having been tricked and besieged by an army of Naruto clones for the better part of this morning and then duped with Sakura's little loophole abuse just now, there was a part of Kakashi that had been sorely tempted to immediately unsummon Urushi and Shiba and thus send the two ninken back to their Summoning Realm, taking the bells out of his opponent's reach completely.
However, it would make him a hypocrite if he did that, since that would completely negate the point of the test entirely as he had just pointed out, so he'd give them an (almost) fair chance to reclaim the bells instead.
Not that it truly mattered at this point: as far as Kakashi was concerned, Team 7 was practically a given and in his opinion could turn up as soon as tomorrow morning at the Hokage desk to start missions (at an appropriate time of day, of course). It was unprecedented perhaps, especially given his track record with genin teams, but some of the stunts these kids managed to pull off on him of all people, an ex-ANBU no less, would be something that would've given many a chuunin a run for their money.
Still, now that Sakura had escalated the situation, a part of him was struck with curiosity as to how far they could take it. And it wasn't like Hamaru was wrong per se. While he wouldn't consider the two of them adversaries, there was a lot that was left unsaid between the two of them. A spar was a good an opportunity as any to air them out.
Which is why Kakashi didn't retreat as the enormous Inuzuka bore down on him once again, fist pulled back for a devastating punch.
'Interesting, he ignored my ninken completely. Is he just that eager to bash my face in? Possibly, given his track record. And, well, he is an Inuzuka, after all. But no, you don't survive being Orochimaru's right hand man for years with an impulsive attitude like that. He deemed me the priority over the bells, which probably means he either thinks the kids can handle them, or he thinks subduing me will give them an edge over Urushi and Shiba, perhaps by turning me into an hostage or something.'
The thought flitted through Kakashi's mind faster than the lightning he once split using Raikiri, giving him just enough time to counter the mega-ton punch on a direct collision with his face. Having been a long time friend sparring partner of Might Guy, and aware of the fact that Hamaru occasionally trained with the exercise maniac in their spare time, Kakashi knew better than to try a direct block against the enormous Inuzuka. As the haymaker closed in on his jaw, Kakashi instead leaned back and shot his hand up, shoving hard up and to the right against the underside of Hamaru's forearm, making the punch pass right in front of his nose instead of crashing into the side of his face.
The large fist still went past with such speed and force, the resulting backlash was strong enough to send a gust of wind fluttering through Kakashi's silver hair, but despite the near-miss, the seasoned jonin was already moving. Ducking in closer underneath the now wide-open arm, he let off a quick one-two punch combination on Hamaru's mid-riff before the large man could recover.
Despite the other man merely wearing a tank top and not the standard Konoha flak jacket, Kakashi was shocked to find that it still felt as if he just tried to punch through a brick wall. Instead of doubling over, or even be sent reeling, Hamaru didn't so much as budge from Kakashi's onslaught, merely letting out a grunt at the harsh impacts.
'That man is completely solid! What does he eat for breakfast, bricks with a side of cement?' the jonin thought to himself, before ducking out of the way as Hamaru brought down both arms in a devastating overhead blow that crashed into the road where Kakashi had just stood, throwing up a small cloud of dust and debris.
Kakashi himself was already on the move, one uncovered eye critically observing his opponent as his keen mind mentally replayed the last few interactions in high speed.
'He is undeniably stronger and more durable than me. He likely has significantly larger chakra reserves as well, especially since I've taxed mine somewhat already dealing with the brats. Thankfully, I'm still faster, so I can use that to my advantage-'
Before he could finish the thought, he spotted Hamaru make a hidden movement inside the cloud of dust he had kicked up, before something small and solid slammed so hard into his forehead, it whipped his head back. Suddenly finding himself watching the sky ('so this is what the Nara are all about? … I think I can see the appeal') Kakashi spotted a small, smashed pebble bouncing away from where it had impacted the metal plate in his forehead protector hard enough, he could feel the dent press into his skull from the other side of the cloth band.
'Had that been a kunai… or even aimed a few inches to the left of the metal covering…' Kakashi thought somewhat shocked.
Time picked up again (and with it, a blooming dull ache in his forehead that he already knew would turn into a massive bruise) and Kakashi forcibly titled his head back down again-
"Gotcha."
-only to come directly face-to-face (and almost nose-to-nose) with Hamaru, who was in the midst of a flying tackle, burly arms already coming in to close around Kakashi's lithe form in the more painful, combat-orientated version of a not-so-friendly hug.
'There's nothing to it, if I don't get out of here then-! I apologize, civilian-san… again…'
Hamaru's arms slammed shut like the jaws of a crocodile, crashing around Kakashi's form and pinning him in place… before with a 'poof!' the trapped shinobi was gone, having instead taken to a nearby rooftop. The huge Inuzuka snarled and was off in hot pursuit, leaving the shattered remains of the replacement to fall to the street.
"Not my toaster as well?!" came an anguished cry from a nearby window.
Kakashi bowed his head and bravely kept running.