Robin imagined motherhood to be magical but didn't turn out as ideal. It had been more than seven months but it didn't feel that way for Robin. Time flew by without notice. Robin thought he would be back to his original self after that didn't turn out to be the case. He was just as clueless as the first day with much less patience. The sleepless nights didn't help his mood. Victor was turning out to be a far better parent than him. Who knew a manly Alpha like him would have such soft motherly instincts?
"What are you looking at?" Victor asked, sitting at the love seat, cradling their sleeping son.
"How are you so good at taking care of him?"
Victor chuckled. "Why are you so suprised? I took care of you, didn't I?" he said with a flirtatious wink.
Robin nodded. "I'm glad you are my mate. I feel useless as a mother."
Victor frowned. He stood up and walked up to him. "No matter how much I care for our baby, I can never take your place. You are his mother. You are the one he is always going to seek when he is in distress. So never call yourself useless, you are far from useless."
Robin couldn't help as tears trickled down his cheeks. He had been an emotional mess ever since the birth of his baby boy and perhaps that's why he felt distant from everyone. Victor included. Sex was out of the picture, even physical intimacy was lacking in their relationship. Robin couldn't fault Victor, Victor had been more than supportive, it was Robin who was having a hard time opening up to him again.
Robin was roaming the halls of his palace with his baby in his arms. He realized how different the palace looked. There weren't as many servants as there used to be. Even the air felt different. Light and soothing. His baby slept peacefully, sucking on his thumb.
"Do you want me to put him to bed?" one of his maids asked as she came from the opposite direction.
"No, I am fine," Robin said, clutching his boy and walking to the sleeping chamber. He slowly put him down on the cot, puckering his lips around the air, Robin smiled at his innocent face. He decided to go check on Victor while his attendant kept an eye on his baby.
He walked to the soldier's training area and saw a very shirtless Victor dueling with soldiers. Robin stood in his tracks, awestruck at his beauty. He was still the man he had fallen in love with. Strong, tall, and handsome while Robin felt like an ugly hog. Half of his hair had fallen off, his once radiant skin felt dry, his spirit dull. He loved his son, no doubt about that, he just wished he was more capable of being a perfect omega. Being a better partner. He had seen omegas bounce back to their old self a few weeks after birth then why was he still stuck in the newborn phase?
Robin stood at a distance admiring his perfect mate and wondering if he was good enough for him. He wondered what it would be like to touch those rippling muscles, have those hungry eyes on him again, have those rough hands caress him like they used to. Maybe Victor didn't find him as sexy anymore, and who would in his disheveled state?
He left the area before Victor could see how he was peeping on him from the shadows. When he came back to his room one of the soldiers informed Victor's family was there to see him. Robin tensed up. He wasn't ready to face Victor's family yet. They would be disappointed to see their king choose such a weak mate who hadn't gotten himself together even seven months after the birth. Robin went to the mirror and tried to fix his appearance. He wished he hadn't let off his lady maids. They knew how to make him look presentable. After struggling with his wayward hair for a few minutes Robin gave up. Maybe he should cut his hair short like Kyle's. Seeing no other option than to go before them just like he was, he asked his attendant to call them to his room. Rody and Caroline walked in first, followed by Arthur. Caroline dashed to his baby first, a wide smile on her face.
"I have been dying to meet him," Caroline exclaimed. "He looks just like you, Robin. So cute,"
Robin smiled weekly. "Thanks."
"How have you been?" Arthur asked, frowning at him. Robin tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. He wondered if Arthur could tell how poorly he was doing.
"I have been better," Robin said and immediately felt guilty for complaining when Victor was doing most of the work with their son. Waking up for night feeds, spending all of his free time with the baby, and taking care of Robin while being a responsible King.
"Victor told us how traumatic the birth was. How are you feeling now?" Caroline asked.
"Good," Robin said, hiding the knot in his throat. He had been better but he didn't want to sound like a snob complaining about being a tired parent when he had so much help. "Victor said you guys wanted to come see me a few months back but I was such a mess I didn't want you guys to see me like that. But then I am still a mess so maybe you guys should have come earlier."
"It's okay. We get it," Caroline said. "We are glad you are doing better."
Robin nodded, forcing a smile.
"Come, let's sit in the living area," Robin said, rolling the baby cot outside the room to the living area.
"I am going to be honest, this place looked more beautiful when your father was the king," Arthur commented, looking at the ceiling. Caroline swatted him on the arm.
"What?" Arthur said, "I am telling the truth. I could see my face on the marble floor."
"When did you visit the palace?"
"I have come here once during the war preparation. It was a brief visit."
"And you think the palace looked better then?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah," Arthur said with honesty.
"Yeah, that happens when you make people polish the floor day in and out until the King sees his face on it. My father would cut the gardener's hands if the flowers in the yard didn't bloom in time."
"Damn," Arthur whistled. "That man took decoration way too seriously."
"Why didn't Kyle and Nina come?" Robin asked.
Caroline and Rody looked at each other with unease.
"Victor asked them not to," Arthur blurted.
"Arthur," Caroline warned but it was too late. Robin knew they were hiding something.
"Why did he not want them to come?" Robin asked, frowning.
"Nina had school..."
"That's not it," Robin interrupted. "There is some other reason. Tell me," Robin asked.
"He is not stupid, Caroline," Rody said. "Tell him the reason."
Caroline sighed. "Victor thinks it might not be safe for them...especially for Nina. The Capital city still has a lot of supporters of King Marcella, not to mention with your father and brother missing and mates of your omega brothers joining forces with enemy nations, it's dangerous to be in Capital City."
Robin was shocked to hear that his father and brother weren't in the Palace prison. Why did Victor hide it from him?
"He did the right thing," Robin said. "I didn't know the extent of the danger." He didn't want to show Victor's family and the growing distance between the two of them. He decided to conceal the hurt he felt for the time being.
"I asked him to move you to Dhasur but he refused," Arthur said. "Maybe you could talk him into taking you there. The palace couldn't possibly be safe for you and the baby."
"Don't overstep, Arthur," came the deep voice of Victor from the doorway. "I know what I am doing."
"Brother," Rody greeted.
Victor nodded at them before going to the cot and peering down at their boy. "When did you guys come?" he asked, turning to Caroline and Rody.
"Just an hour ago," Caroline answered. "What did you name him, Victor?"
Robin smiled. He loved the name Victor had kept for his baby even though it felt a little too rowdy at the time Robin could see why he chose the name for their son. It fit his personality.
"Ragnor," Victor said, caressing their son's face. Robin had a feeling their son would be a fierce king and warrior just like his father.
Victor retired with Rody and Arthur to discuss a few things while Caroline and Robin stayed back and played with Ragnor. When it was time for dinner all of them went to the great hall. The kitchen staff had already been informed of the Dhasur royalty's arrival and they had prepared an extravagant meal for the night.
Robin wanted to enjoy the tasty food but he had so many things to discuss with Victor. His mind was reeling with it all. He wanted to ask him about the impending danger Arthur spoke about. But Victor was sitting all across the big table, talking to Arthur about god knew what. Robin felt a slithering anger against his mate for hiding things from him. So what if he was a new mother it didn't mean Victor would think he was incapable of knowing things related to his own country. He decided to confront Victor and take control of his life again.