I'd lived through these years, every step I took was fraught with difficulty, and each day I moved forward was by virtue of my own effort. No matter what I'd been through, I had never shed a tear of pain, because I knew crying wasn't something I should be doing; tears wouldn't yield any results!
If, when faced with difficulties or before getting married, I chose not to confront them and instead just hid somewhere quietly weeping, would those dangers have avoided me? Would I not have to endure those hardships again? Would the outcomes not be so difficult to achieve, time after time? No one knew the extent of my inner turmoil; I always appeared vigorous in front of others.
Because I didn't want anyone to see through the real me hidden deep inside, I didn't want others to know what kind of person I was. I wanted to disguise and hide who I truly was, live under a façade. Perhaps that might bring a different life for me."
