Chapter 22: Muffin
"Hey," Poochie said and gave a lackadaisical wave. "I'm glad you're okay."
Rose's cheeks got a bit darker. "Thank you, I feel the same way."
During this brief exchange Alexia's brain was going into overdrive. Obviously, she understood what was going on here. Rose had made it clear that she wouldn't do anything in public view but was still determined to win her over. Part of that would probably include trying to drive Poochie away. That meant Alexia could absolutely NOT afford to let Rose find out that she and Poochie were in a fake relationship. The other girl was completely infatuated with her. The only reason she'd agreed to back off was because she was convinced of the 'passionate love affair' she and Poochie were having. If the truth came out it would only encourage Rose and she might make her feelings known to the world.
For Alexia it was absolutely vital that Rose believe she and Poochie were madly and in love and could barely keep their hands off each other.
Alexia went up to Poochie, latched onto his arm and squeezed it against her chest as she rested her head against his shoulder. He turned to stare at her with raised eyebrows. She ignored it to smile at Rose.
"While I'm thrilled to have you join our section for Royal Bushin, you do know classes are still out?"
Rose was looking at her holding onto Poochie with a brittle smile. "I've never practiced Royal Bushin Swordstyle and am a complete novice in it. I thought it would be good to practice with both of you and learn the basics before classes commence again. Do you have an objection to that?"
"Of course, not! We'd both be more than happy to have you join us! Isn't that right, Poochie?"
"Uh, I guess? Why are you-"
"Rose, could you excuse us a moment? There's something my darling and I need to discuss."
"Darling?" He muttered.
Not waiting for Rose to respond, Alexia dragged Cid outside and made sure to shut the door behind them. She didn't let go of his arm until they were a safe distance and Alexia knew they could talk in private.
"Okay, what exactly are you scheming this time?" Poochie was staring at her suspicious.
"Let me explain this as quickly as I can," she said. "I'll use small words so you can follow. You remember how we originally began dating because Zenon was obsessed with me, and I needed you to force him to back off?"
"I remember you bullying me into a fake relationship I never wanted any part of."
"Well, I sort of need you to do it again for me."
"Uh, I'm not really following. Is some new guy bothering you or something?"
Alexia swallowed and avoided looking him in the eye. "Rose is in love with me and wants us to be a couple."
There was an uncomfortable silence. Then, "Oh, so that's how it is? Now it all suddenly makes sense."
Alexia rounded on him. "What the Hell does that mean?!"
"I mean it explains your rotten personality, what else? It makes sense now why you've made everyone around you so miserable. It must have been hard having to deny your true feelings all this time. But you don't need to worry, even if the society we live in doesn't approve, I'll totally support you and Rose being a couple."
Alexia hauled off and punched him in the arm so hard he landed on his ass. "I AM NOT GAY YOU IDIOT! Rose is in love with me not the other way round! I am absolutely one hundred percent attracted to men not women!"
Pooch stood back up and brushed himself off. "Well, I admit you did keep staring at my Excalibur, so maybe you're in your experimental stage right now."
"I'm not in any kind of stage, experimental or otherwise!" Alexia pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. "Look, stop twisting things around. It's simple, Rose has fallen in love with me, I need the two of us to act like a real loving couple to get her to give up. Got it? I want us to act in front of her the way we used to for Zenon. Only more so, we need to pretend we're deeply in love."
"Or, and hear me out a second, you could embrace the love that dare not speak its name, stop ruining my life, and find happiness with Rose. I know it might be kind of tough with how things are, but she's an amazing girl. Anyone would be lucky to have a girl like that fall in love with them. Even me."
"As if any girl would be crazy enough to fall in love with someone like you!"
Alexia had to put a hand to her mouth to cover an unexpected sneeze.
Though she didn't hear it, in the dojo Rose suddenly sneezed.
Far away in the hidden city of Alexandria, Alpha suddenly sneezed.
Writing chapter fifteen of, 'The Shameless Noble Woman', Beta suddenly sneezed.
In her offices at Mitsugoshi, Gamma suddenly sneezed.
Nearby, Nu suddenly sneezed.
Out in the Forbidden Woods, while munching on a mountain lion Delta suddenly sneezed.
At the Kagenou estates, Claire suddenly sneezed.
Throughout the world, dozens of women suddenly sneezed.
"Anyway," Alexia continued. "Can you just help me by acting like a devoted boyfriend? At least until Rose comes to her senses."
"You know that might take a while. My experience is that princesses don't have a whole lot of common sense and just don't know when to quit."
Alexia punched him again. "This isn't a joke! Unlike with Zenon people in general and my family in particular would not approve of that sort of relationship between me and Rose. If there's even a rumor about it that would probably be enough to get me shipped off to some distant country as a bride!"
"You don't say?" Poochie suddenly got a far away look in his eyes.
"Hey! Don't get any weird ideas! If I even suspect you told anyone about this, I will make your life an absolute living Hell!"
"And that would be different from the way things are now how exactly?"
"I'm serious!"
"So am I."
"Grrr, fine!" Alexia grabbed her purse and yanked open the drawstrings. "We both know how this works. How much?"
Poochie thought it over a moment. "Ten gold coins should do it."
"Ten? Isn't that a little excessive? We're already in a fake relationship. All I want is for us to act a little lovey dovey in front of Rose. You know, hold hands, walk arm in arm, stare into each other's eyes, say sweet things to each other, hug one another, and m… maybe kiss."
"Kiss?"
Alexia could feel her cheeks get hot and stared at his kneecaps. "D… Don't get any weird ideas! The thought of actually kissing you makes my stomach turn. B… But if it's necessary, and only if it's absolutely necessary, I expect you to kiss me. I expect you to be ready and willing to make any romantic gesture needed to convince Rose of our passionate and all-consuming love. No matter how long it takes."
"I see," Poochie mumbled. "You're right ten gold coins don't make sense for something like that."
"Glad you agree."
"Make it twenty."
XXX
Alexia growled, argued, and threatened, but ended up handing him twenty gold coins. When they returned to the dojo, they were walking arm and arm and staring into each other's eyes.
"That was quite a while," Rose said. "Did the two of you have a good talk?"
"Certainly, Poochie and I always have good conversations."
"Uhm, I've been meaning to ask, why do you call Cid that? Is it a pet name?"
"Of course, lovers like us always use pet names," Alexia said with a grin. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"Maybe just a bit," she looked longingly at Cid. "I suppose I'm a little jealous of your closeness."
"Well, if you're going to spend time with us, you'll have to get used to it," Alexia grinned knowingly at him. "Isn't that right, Poochie?"
He grinned back at her. "It sure is, Muffin."
Alexia blinked. "What?"
"I said it sure is, Muffin."
"Muffin," Rose sighed. "What a cute nickname."
"Y… Yes, it sure is."
"She loves being called that," he said. "You can expect to hear that name a lot."
Alexia sent him a glare that promised cruel and savage retribution for this humiliation the moment they were alone.