He woke up in Ranboo's bed and slowly sat up looking around.
Why did he fall asleep in Ran's bed again? He didn't remember. Was probably just tired.
Then the memories came flooding back to him.
He clutched the sheets under him and looked over to Ran. He brushed the hair out of Ran's face and pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"Good-bye, love." He whispered as he brushed Ran's hair one more time before getting up.
He walked to the door for the thought to be last time.
A few of his feathers fell off his winds and Ran laid in the middle of them all.
He saved the image to his memory before he left.
He headed straight to his room and took a bath, putting on his armor with the cat sweater he stole from Ran all that time ago.
He put the rest of his clothes he was gifted into his bag and tidied up the room before looking out the window.
The sun had only just begun to rise.
Good, he had time to do one more thing.
He uses his magic to make a paper and quill, sitting down at the desk.
Dear Ranboo,
Hello dearest, is it ok that I call you that? I don't want to make more paper so it'll have to do.
I knew you liked me and I liked you back. I'm sorry that I told you through a letter but I don't think I could of told you any other way.
Your the first person to ever make me feel this way, but we will never see each other again, even though I so desperately want to stay by your side for the rest of my life.
I will truly miss you.
~Goodbye, Love
-Thomas
He folded it up and put one of his feathers into the folds before putting a magic stamp onto it.
He put the letter in the drawer of the desk and put his necklace on it before snatching it back up.
He'd keep the necklace. He needed something more than a cat sweater from him.
He closed the door and took a deep breath.
Why did fate have to hurt him so?
He slung his bag over his shoulders and made his way out of his room and through the halls, trying to not think of Tubbo or Sam, Techno or Wilbur, Phil or Kristen.
He was familiar with the guards so they didn't give him a second glance other than to question where he was going at such a inprimely hour. They were sad when he told them it was time for him to leave and go back home.
He walked to the stables and saw something weird. Where's Carl?
He ran around the stables looking for him, he made sure that Carl wasn't sleeping.
Maybe he could ask Techno. That guy's like a human map and is always up at the brink of dawn.
He walked his way back to the gate and explained the situation to the guards and they said they didn't know where Carl was either.
He walked around the castle till he found Techno in the library.
"Hey Techno, do you know where Carl, my horse, is?" He asked as he got closer to Techno.
"I have something to explain to you runt." Techno stated, standing up.
Techno walked over to him with a dark glint in his eyes.
He knew Techno wouldn't hurt him without justified cause but he still took a involuntary step back.
Techno seemed to either not notice or not care. His bet being a the latter.
"When we made the decision to not accept the treaty we also made another decision." Techno explained, grabbing his arm impossibly tight.
"We weren't going to communicate with them and we weren't giving anything back." Techno growled.
"But you don't ha-." He stated before a chill ran down his spine.
There was one way to communicate with Esspmie and one thing that belonged to them. Him.
"But Techno I can't just not go back, that would be treas-." He sputtered trying to pull away from Techno before he felt his head be slammed into the floor.
His vision was swarmed with black dots and he's pretty sure he choked out blood and had a broken skull.
It was hard to get in air and he thought he was crying. It was hard to tell.
One thing he did know was that he was scared and panicked.
He wanted to scream for help or from pain but his ears ringed so loud that he didn't know if he already was.
He could feel tears burning his cheeks so he knew he was crying.
He wanted so badly to fall asleep but his magic burned at his skin and made it impossible to do so.
Everything hurt so very bad and he didn't know what was happening and he panicked more and that made him hurt more which threw him down a spiral of panic.
The buzzing turned into his heart beat and his circulating blood.
His breath hurt and he couldn't understand why.
The light burnt his his eyes.
The light, wait his vision is back!
He saw himself in his room and he was on his bed.
Techno wasn't here. That was a good thing.
He didn't want that to be a good thing.
He heard footsteps and started panicking again.
It all still hurts. Make it stop. He wanted it all to stop! Please!
He covered his mouth trying to make as little noise as possible.
Go away! Leave him alone!
Did Ran know? No, he couldn't, he was with him when they made the decision. He was absolutely distraught and cried himself to sleep. Ran also doesn't have enough courage to be part of something like that and would of told him.
Ran would of held him close and told him that he wouldn't let him leave and would try to be as nice and kind as possible.
Ran wouldn't make him hurt.
He wanted Ran to be here. Why wasn't Ran here!
He grabbed his necklace and sent Ran his panic and hurt.
For the first time since Ran gave him the necklace, Ran didn't show up.
He knew Ran was asleep and that's why he didn't show up, but his already present panic only made him panic more.
He held back panicked and distraught chirps and his want for his flock. Flock being only one person now.
His eyes wandered to the note he left for Ran. He wanted to go and grab the note but his body didn't want to make a inch.
He managed to clutch onto a pillow and imagined it was Ran laying next to him and comforting him.
Running his cold, long fingers through his hair and softly brushing his wing, kissing his head and saying words of comfort.
He made a pathetic chirp for his flock before falling asleep.
He was to far into sleep to be woken up by the sad warble just half an hour later.