I began strolling along the cracked paved walkway towards the gate. I opened the gate, which was slow due to all the rust over the years. The sun was beginning to set, creating hazes of color in the sky. The colors were dancing in a haphazard dance. There were acres of muddy, dry country in front of me, and the wind was blowing with nowhere to go. I felt the wind brush against me fiercely as if I were the center of serenity in this location.
It blew through my hair, raising it up to follow it. I rushed with the mournful breeze, dancing in circles and twirling on the damp ground. I felt relaxed as I breathed in the breeze, a calmness that reassured me that everything would be well at some point. Maybe I'm hurting right now, but in time, everything will be well. This feeling made me crave the comfort of home.
The sun was setting low, and the hues in the sky were fading to black. The breeze drew me to the front door, and I went inside. I walked upstairs to wait for my papa to come home. The sky had now transformed into a black roadway leading to an unknown location. A place that terrified me and made me believe I was alone. I was alone in a dark empty place now, and I peered out the window to see that it was thundering outside, which fretted me. I wished my papa had come home earlier tonight. But suddenly I hear a noise behind me and turn, startled.
"How did you get here?" I gasped. But Vedant only smirks, then vanishes after a while.
I find myself again in this chamber with no end to the walls or floor. Everything is in slow motion yet accelerating at the same time. It's full of noises I've never heard before, and I'm surrounded by strangers without faces. I felt warmth pour over the right side of my body as if I were in a hot spring. I turn to look. I see Vedant standing on the other side of whatever place we're in, emotionless and blank. I grin and approach him, but I am paralyzed in the corner and begin to fear. Despite my best efforts, I am unable to get away from him because I am attracted to him like a magnet. I can't speak. He is ignorant that I exist.
All I can do is watch as a faceless female approaches him, whispering in his ear and touching his body. She begins to undress him as he remains as blank as a mannequin. It's torture for me, and I'm powerless to stop what's happening. Then in an instant, I'm alone in the same room again. Vedant emerges from the darkness of the space. He says nothing, but he keeps his gaze on me all the time.
"Vedant..." I say his name.
"ssh..." He placed his lips on mine to stop me from speaking. His lips feel so gentle on mine. I groan softly and wrap my arms around him. Our initial kiss is followed by a second, a third, and a fourth, and each kiss melts into the next as our lips, tongues, and teeth freely explore each other's mouths, faces, ears, and necks. Soft animal cries rise from our throats as untamed passions overwhelm us, almost blinding us. His body crushes on mine, and I feel a swelling in my tummy.
He leads me to my bed. He pushes me down onto my back and crawls up beside me, straddling me with one leg. We exchange intense looks, and I assist him in removing his shirt. I close my eyes as I feel his lips on my skin.
"Vedant..." I say and open my eyes, but all I get is shock.
Above me is Rahul, who appears to be a man out to torture his victim, and I am now his victim. I struggle against him, but I'm imprisoned.
"You're all mine now," Rahul says to me, looking to his right side. With tears in my eyes, I look to the right side, where Vedant stands, waiting to witness my doom.
"She is all yours..." he says and walks away. I watch him walk away without a backward glance. I stare at Rahul again, who is on the edge of ruining me.
"Come, let the fun begin," he adds, and I scream with all of my might.
I awoke suddenly from that terrifying dream. The dream was so real. I felt like I was in the room with Vedant and Rahul. I wipe the tears from my eyes. I glance at the time, and it's 3:00 a.m. I wipe the tears away with a handkerchief. I am saturated in my perspiration. Outside it's pitch black; I shouldn't be worried because I'm far away from him. He'll never find me now. I'm safe, yet those dreams still torment me.
It's been almost three months since I arrived in Manali, but I haven't slept soundly for a single day. I still dread that one day he will locate me and forcefully take him with him before throwing me at Rahul.
The wind is howling outside; ignoring those thoughts, I get up and close the window. I look at the enormous mirror in my bedroom. Brown eyes are empty and weary, stopping me in my tracks. It was not the physical fatigue that most people are accustomed to, which can typically be remedied with a decent nap. No, it demonstrated bone-deep emotional fatigue induced by unsolved hurts perpetrated by someone, and in my case it was vedant.
After a few moments, I realize that the woman in the reflection is me. A quick glimpse reveals my darkish complexion lacking its usual glow, and my dark hair is tossed into its typical at-home messy bun, with parts falling around my face that I can't be bothered to straighten. All I can think about is when I'll stop getting these awful dreams.
I took my exhausted and aching body and returned to the familiar materials of my leathery bed. But then I felt nauseated. I went to the restroom and threw up. I'd already puked twice, against my will. After cleaning my face, I lay back down on my bed, my mind leisurely generating random thoughts. I was dizzy, and my head hurt like hell. I needed to get out of this sorry position, but all I could do was sit in silence as my mind wandered. My eyelids closed on their own, and my mind relaxed as the pain subsided, as did my body's sensations. Is this what dying is like?
My body slowly returned to me, and anguish flooded my head. I was sore, exhausted, in agony, and on the edge of passing out again. And the sickness was swirling around in my stomach. I felt dirty and sad. I drifted off quickly as I felt tired again.
I awakened after some time, feeling slightly better, but my body was still sore and uncomfortable. I looked and felt horrible. I wished I could exit this body. Leave the world. Leave all my duties and pain behind. I want to die. The nausea returned, and I dashed to the bathroom to vomit once more. I sat on the bed, trying to remember what I had eaten the day before, but there was nothing that would upset my stomach.
I've been so depressed recently that I don't feel like talking to anyone. Papa is attempting to make me forget everything, but everything flashes before me like a motion film, and I feel angry at myself for making a fool of myself. Tears began to run down my cheeks. I do not want to be like this, but something is happening inside my body that I cannot control.
I drank some water, washed my face, and then came back down. Papa was in the kitchen again, making something for me. I feel so sorry for him. He lost his wife and is now saddled with two useless daughters. One daughter has gone down the dark path of Lust and will never return, while the other has ruined her life with poor life choices. I approached quietly and sat down at the dining table.
It's been almost three months, and I'm still not ready to accept what has happened to me. It feels like a bad dream. I feel like I'll wake up in my old house with Papa. But then my dreams remind me that I've been through the nightmare. Outside, there is a breathtaking view of the mountains, but my head is so depressed that nothing feels good.
Anup, just thinking about him makes me feel like there must be something I did in my previous life to deserve a friend like him. He indirectly helped me get out of my torment. He has allowed us to remain in his outhouse. Every day, he ensures that me and Papa are well taken care of. I know he has feelings for me. His daily gestures make my heart warm every day. I do not want to lead him on. I'm too broken to even consider giving someone else a chance.
I felt like throwing up again, so I hurried to the sink and did just that. I puked as Papa held my hair from behind me. He brought me a glass of water, which I drank.
"Beta, did you have something yesterday?" He questioned me with his sorrowful gaze. I shook my head, in denial.
"OK, you're rather restless these days. Go show the doctor and come. For the time being, I will give you a tablet that will make you feel better," he added, before going to the cabinet to retrieve the pills.
Papa approached me with the pill and a glass of water; I removed my sheltering hands and gladly swallowed the pill. I chugged the flavorless, frigid liquid in the glass before carelessly placing it on my coffee table. Papa was still standing over me. I squinted and pushed myself to look at Papa, whose eyes were filled with concern and pity. He had been giving me this look a lot lately. I know he's worried about me he knows how much the accident has affected me. But he has no idea what effect the nightmare has had on my thoughts.
"Sleep for a while; you'll feel better," Papa murmured, caressing my head.
"Yes, Papa," I answered.
Papa carefully pulled my frail body into a lying down position, and I winced when a ray of light from the door struck my eyes. I quickly clenched both of my eyes shut and relaxed as a warm blanket was placed over me.
"Sleep beta, but I want to talk to you once you feel better." He whispered, and I slowly nodded before feeling my head gently raised by a silky hand. A fluffed-up pillow was placed under my head, and I was returned to my familiar position. My hurting body craved rest once more, so I might sleep away my misery. I felt a flood of anguish and rest sweep over me as I gently drifted asleep.