The next few days passed in a blur of little white pills and sparkling amethyst eyes. Everything was hazy, accompanied by the thrumming of hospital machinery and the brightness of the fluorescent lights.
Even Dazai's brain was fuzzy, her thoughts little more than a distant, muted buzzing, lacking the usual screaming urge to do something – anything – just to feel. Instead, it was like her mind was on vacation, swimming in a cocktail of opioids and IV drips.
In fact, Dazai felt fucking amazing.
God, she loved pills.
She didn't know exactly which ones she was on – her eyes were too unfocused to read the labels – but they were good, strong. They stopped the screaming, and best of all, they let her sleep.
Dazai never slept. There was always something to worry about, something to do, some reason that made sleep a luxury she couldn't afford. She couldn't remember the last time she slept more than three consecutive hours, but now she couldn't stay awake for more than two.
Yeah, pills were good…
----
Dazai woke again to Mori's cold hands shaking her gently by the shoulders.
"Morning doc." She yawned, stretching out her stiff (and only recently unrestrained) arms.
"Morning, Dazai. You're being discharged today. Isn't that exciting?"
Exciting?
What was she, four?
"Yeah, totally." Dazai snorted.
"Luckily, you sustained no serious damage." The doctor went on, ignoring her blatant sarcasm as he readied another dose of medication. "A few bruised ribs and a mild concussion, but nothing to worry about. There's also a slight scratch to the surface of your right eye, likely caused by a small rock from the riverbed, and while there will be some permanent cosmetic alterations, it should regain full sight again in a few months. I can prescribe you contacts, but not until the eye is fully healed."
"Is that what the bandages are for?"
Dazai had guessed as much, but with no mirrors in the room, she hadn't been able to check for sure.
"It's mainly there to prevent infection, but – yes – walking around with two differently coloured eyes is a tad bit too conspicuous for what I have planned."
"And walking around looking like a pirate isn't?"
Mori shrugged.
Whatever.
Pirates were sexy as hell and she could see just fine with one eye anyway.
"So, what were you saying about me being discharged?"
----
Mori's house was underwhelming, a small flat above a private practice somewhere in Yokohama.
It felt like she hadn't even left the hospital; everything was the same boring shade of white – the walls, the floors, the countertops – and all smelt vaguely of antiseptic. Everything felt stilted, clinical, drained of both colour and life – exactly the kind of place Dazai imagined the doctor would live.
"Dazai."
Hearing her name, the brunette turned around.
Mori was standing a few meters away in the kitchen, next to a girl of about nine or ten who had definitely not been there two seconds ago.
She was European – possibly Germanic – with piercing blue eyes and long blonde hair that flowed down her back before stopping at her hips. She was wearing a red Lolita dress that made her look younger than she really was – and sweeter too, if the snide look she was currently fixing Dazai with was anything to go by.
"This is Elise. She's been dying to meet you. Isn't that right, Elise?"
The little blonde girl scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah right. The only one desperate for us two to meet was you, Rintarou." She whined. "And I preferred the last girl you brought home, this one's already broken."
She stepped forward as she spoke, grabbing at Dazai's cut-up wrists to emphasise her point. But as soon as their skin touched, Elise vanished in a flash of blue light.
What?!
Dazai looked over at Mori, wide-eyed, but he didn't look worried at all.
In fact, he looked the opposite of worried, his magenta eyes glittering with mirth as his lips quirked upwards in a smirk.
"Elise is my Ability. I trust that you've heard of them?"
"A little."
Sure she'd heard of Abilities.
But an Ability created person?
"If you wanted me to meet her, why did you make her disappear?"
"I didn't make her disappear," Mori said, his smile only growing wider. "You did. You have an Ability too, Dazai. Did you really not know?"
An Ability?
What?
"No? What kind of Ability?"
"A nullifying Ability. I noticed it at the hospital. It appears to work through physical contact, although we'll obviously have to test that theory out."
"Yeah. Sure." The brunette mumbled dispassionately.
"You must be exhausted. We can talk about this more tomorrow morning. The shower is down the corridor to the left."
The bathroom was no different to the rest of the apartment – white tiles, white sink, white… everything. Although it's not like Dazai had been expecting anything else, she'd noticed a recurring theme with all the white.
She stripped off the clothes Mori had given her at the hospital (one of his shirts and a pair of his trousers that she had to roll up about twenty times to stop from falling down), letting them fall to the floor before stepping into the shower cubicle and turning the water on.
A contented sigh left her lips as the hot water ran down her body.
God, Dazai couldn't remember the last time she'd had a hot shower.
She bent down to pick up a bar of soap, but her lips quirked up as she found something better underneath.
A razor.
Jackpot.
Dazai sat the soap back down, instead picking up the blade and pressing it to the skin of her left forearm.
Fuck.
How long had it been since she last did this?
The feeling of its silver kiss biting into her skin was practically orgasmic, and Dazai felt her brain melt away as the familiar ecstasy of pain engulfed her, fresh blood dripping down faded scars and tainting the water pink.
It swirled in the shower drain, turning deeper, darker, crimson rivulets spouting from each new cut until the white tile turned completely red.
Dazai's brain turned off; no more thoughts, just the mechanical action of slicing skin, angling the blade a little higher, and slicing again. She didn't see the sky turn black outside, or feel the water turn cold as the hot water ran out, there was only red and silver and the warm bite of pain.
She didn't hear the creaking of the bathroom door hinges, didn't even register Mori's entrance until the doctor coughed.
He looked on the scene dispassionately, his face entirely emotionless. It was like he walked in on Dazai reading a book, not hacking at her arms like a demented butcher.
Mori cleared his throat again, grabbing her attention.
"Hey, doc." She giggled. "I guess I lost track of time."
"Yes. It looks like you've been having a lot of fun." He said, nodding to the blood that was – well – everywhere. "But I suggest you get out now. I don't exactly feel like getting wet dragging your unconscious body out of the shower."
Dazai's knees chose that exact moment to buckle, emphasising Mori's point.
She switched the water off and stepped out, taking a (white) towel from Mori's outstretched hand and patting herself dry. By the time she was dry, the fabric was more red than white. She dropped it and took a seat next to the doctor on the bathroom floor.
"Is this going to be a problem?" He said at last, gesturing to her hacked-up wrists.
"You recruited me during a suicide attempt. I think we both know the answer to that, doc."
Mori shrugged, picking up a roll of bandages from a pile that seemed to have magically spawned next to him – seriously, when the fuck had they got there? – and starting to wrap Dazai's left forearm. The bleeding hadn't stopped, but it had significantly lessened, the rivulets fading to a slow trickle that only slowed further with each new layer of gauze.
"If you really want, I can help with providing a quick and painless death. But I need you to hold off until after my plans have been enacted."
"Are you going to tell me those plans any time soon?"
"Where would be the fun in that?" The doctor asked, shooting Dazai a cruel smile as he tied off the end of the bandage and dropped her left arm. "Other wrist."
The brunette threw her right at him.
"As for what I can tell you right now… Well, actually, first I have a question for you, Dazai. Do you know what a gentleman's club is?"
What?
Of all the things Mori could've said, she certainly wasn't expecting that.
Dazai's brows knitted together in confusion.
"…Yes?"
"Ah! Good, that's one less bit of explaining for me to do. Well, that's where you're going to be working for the next few months."
What?
That was his big plan entailed for her?
Becoming a prostitute?
"Are you joking?"
"Nope!" The doctor grinned, dropping her wrist as he finished tying off the last bandage. "I'm as serious as a heart attack."
"Okay." Dazai nodded, her lips slightly pursed.
Sure, there were more exciting things she could do (a lot more exciting things) but this was only for a few months. And it wasn't anything she hadn't done before.
"Great. Now, I need you to be honest with me, Dazai; do you know how to pleasure a man?"
The brunette fought the urge to roll her eyes.
She'd mastered blow jobs before she'd learned to count, and it wasn't exactly difficult to let a man stick his dick in you.
"Why don't I show you just how much I know?"
Dazai didn't wait for a response, swinging her legs so that each knee was on the outside of Mori's own, trapping the older man between her thighs. She leaned in to kiss him, capturing lips that were soft and tasted vaguely of antiseptic as she slipped her tongue inside. She toyed with his shirt buttons as they kissed, twisting and pulling each one until the shirt flapped open, exposing the doctor's pale chest and faint abs.
His hands were in her hair now, fingers curling into the scalp, tugging at the roots, pulling her face closer.
"You're good." He breathed against her tingling lips.
"I know."
Dazai lowered her kisses, focusing on sucking dark spots along the doctor's jaw, his neck, his chest, his—
"Ahh!"
"You like that?" She smirked, bringing her head up to look Mori in the eyes.
Her hand was on his zipper now, tugging down gently like the already knew the answer. (And judging by the growing damp patch on Mori's boxers, she was dead on.)
She pulled his pants down past his ankles, making sure to take twice as long removing his boxers.
"Dazai!"
"Shhh." She said, putting a finger to the doctor's lips. "I'm in charge and I say be patient."
The brunette took his boxers off at last, throwing them against the wall where they joined the rest of Mori's cast-off clothing.
His dick was out now, flushed and dripping. It wasn't the biggest Dazai had ever seen, but it was pretty sizeable, thicker than average too.
She pressed a kiss to his pubic bone, sucking at the skin there before dragging her lips lower. Even his skin tasted like disinfectant, a bitter, chemical lemon that flooded her senses. Mori's hips jerked upwards in response, his back arching as her lips finally moved to cover his length.
Oral sex was never a favourite of hers, but damn if Dazai couldn't deliver the perfect blowjob.
The doctor's hands buried themselves in her hair again, pulling the brunette closer and forcing her to take more of him, pubic hair tickling her nose. Her eyes watered and she probably would've gagged if she hadn't done this a hundred times before, but instead Dazai just took it in her stride, bobbing up and down at a faster rate than she had before.
Dazai was just about to start fondling the rest of his junk when the grip in her hair tightened, ripping out a few painful strands, and Mori's hips buckled once again and his bitter load painted the back of her throat.
Damn.
That was quick.
He slid past her lips with an audible pop, before bringing a hand to her jaw, shutting her mouth and forcing the brunette to swallow everything.
"You're good." He managed, his voice slightly high and out of breath. He was no doubt embarrassed by just how quickly he had come, but - hey! – it wasn't her fault she was so good at this! "I think you'll fit in just fine."