A rat's home
Loras POV
A sword flashed in the hot sunlight as it cut a straw dummy. It was the same movements I have learned since I was a child: cut, slash, and stab. Simple movement, yet after doing it for hours, my hands started to bleed from the blisters, and the dummy was already in pieces. It was harder to hold the blunt sword with each swing, but I kept going as stopping would mean I had to think again, and I knew where my thoughts would take me.
The dark alleys of King's Landing filled with filthy rats was a better place than what hid deep in my mind. It was the only place where I felt safe, having no time to think but act. I tried to ignore it, but today wasn't a day I could rest. That nightmare repeated itself over and over in my head all day. I don't know what triggered it, but I dreamed of that day. The day my heart was torn away, the day the love of my life was killed before my eyes.
"You will get a heatstroke if you continue like this." The sword slipped from my hands as I lost concentration. "Should I send for Maester?"
"I am fine, brother," I replied coldly before cleaning my hands. "What do you want?"
"You were missed," Garlan said. "Mother sent me to check on you and make sure you don't miss your meals."
"I wasn't hungry." I wrapped my hands and stopped the bleeding. "You have nothing more to say than let continue in peace."
"I understand now why your skills improved so much, even to be able to defeat the Mountain in single combat." Garlan didn't leave as I wished. "I guess there isn't anyone to spar with you. And that's why you are alone here. Training harder than you ever did in your younger days."
"The Lannisters have rubbed off on you, brother," I replied. "You weren't so evasive with your words before."
"And you weren't so cold before."
"What do you want?"
"How about a spar? It has been a long time since we had one."
When someone talks about the best swordsman of the Seven Kingdoms, names like Jaime Lannister, Barristan Selmy, and others in history like Arthur Dayne or the Dragonknight would be mentioned all the time. But rarely, if ever, would Garlan Tyrell's name be in the same topic. But for as long as I could remember, Garlan was the strongest and best fighter I had seen.
Unlike others and even the younger me, Garlan cared little for glory and fame. He would rather spend his time listening to his wife playing the high harp than attend banquets. And he would rather train with three or four men to better prepare for a real fight than try his luck in a tourney. Garlan wasn't a fancy knight prancing around showing how shiny his armor and sword were.
No, he was a man who would put on a dead man's armor if it meant a better chance to win a fight. People loved to call the reachmen greenboys, but if any of them would be faced with Garlan, I don't think such a thought would come to their minds again. So, even if I wanted to be left alone, a proper fight might clear my head better than cooking in the sun.
"Longswords? Or with shields, too?" I asked, looking over the rack of training swords and other equipment.
"I don't think you want a prolong dance," Garlan replied, taking a longsword, doing a few swings to get used to the weight and balance of the sword. "Let's go up to three hits."
"Fine with me."
There was no talking from the moment we faced each other. Garlan was always serious when he sparred, treating it like a real fight. I had too much on my head, so it was hard to untangle any of it into any coherent sentence. So, I showed it with a burst of strength as I struck Garlan. There was nothing but anger that led my sword. And, unsurprisingly, Garlan easily parred such swings and pushed me back.
The Mountain was nothing but a mountain of muscle. For his size, he was pretty fast. But there was little technique in his swordplay. Maybe he never needed it as with his strength alone, he could cleave anyone into pieces. But Garlan was different. He used little of his strength; everything was timing to him. He observed and timed his parries, blocks, and strikes according to how his opponent acted.
"Strike one," Garlan said as he led me close in before parrying my strike and stabbing into my chest. "You always were too emotional. I know you can do better. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been able to kill the Mountain. Show me what you showed him."
Imagining it turned my blood cold. The anger that burned hot suddenly turned into icy cold. I felt the feeling of the moments when I enacted my revenge. My mind focused, observing and calculating Garlan's body, as I did with the Mountain and everyone else I killed for my vengeance. I showed him my cold hatred.
"That better," Garlan said as I pushed his sword, holding it in a lock before kicking his leg, and as he lost his balance slashed him through the torso. "It is good to see you learned a few more skills. Your swordmanship was so boring before."
I hated him like I hated my family for siding with the Lannisters while we could have already killed them all. But I loved him like I loved my family. Even knowing about my relationship with Renly, Garlan was nothing but supportive, if a bit worrying about it. I never needed to hide my preference from him like I did from the rest of the world. I loved him. But I hated him for standing in my way.
"It would have been more enjoyable if you weren't already dead tired, though." Garlan only smiled as in quick succession he cut me and then stabbed me, without me being able even to react. "We should do it more often. Next time, don't tire yourself to death by facing a strawman."
"Aren't you going to leave soon, anyway?" I asked, as I heard that army of five thousand was getting ready to patrol the crownlands.
"We need to keep an order," Garlan replied. "It has been hectic ever since Jon Connington returned with the Golden Company. Even if he managed to chase King Stannis away from the Stormlands, it only created more chaos in the Crownlands, as more and more deserters are gathering here and robbing people. Especially with the rumors of the Bandit King reaching us."
"Don't tell me you believe that bullshit of Jon Connington pledging his fealty to King Tommen."
I couldn't tell him of what Varys has said to me, as it would compromise me. But just thinking of what that spider said being true was shocking enough. Could it really be true? A Targaryen is returning to take his seat on the Iron Throne. Probably not. Just another fake, using the chaos to get on top of the world.
"Even if we could ignore the rumors of Targaryen banners being seen, I have to question how he managed to hire the Golden Company," Garlan replied. "We still don't know what he is doing or who he is truly loyal to, but for now, it is good for us that he defeated King Stannis and is keeping himself in Stormlands, giving us more time to prepare. As we need to deal with that Bandit King first before it grows into something more problematic."
"Heh, Bandit King, what other ridiculous things will come up in this war? There were already way too many kings."
"Too true, but I only have concerns about one king," Garlan replied. "Theon Greyjoy is the only one that is a threat to us. Stannis is already falling apart. The Starks can have the North, and it is no concern for us. But Theon, he is dangerous."
"You think so highly of him?"
"I haven't faced him in a battle yet," Garlan said. "But from everything I know about him, he is the most dangerous man in the world. The ability to control the battlefield as he wished isn't something any could do. No matter how outnumbered, how dire the situation was for him, everything still seemed to be under his control. That is why I am concerned about him the most."
"But he is gone."
"And that worries me," Garlan replied. "What is he doing? What will he bring to prepare? And if the things I heard he is up to are true, I sure once he returns the world will burn, so I must prepare myself too. He will be our worst enemy."
"Well, good luck then," I said, not caring much about it.
"Won't you join me? We will only do some patrolling in the Crownlands and part of Kingswood. Nothing more."
"If it were just you, I would love to." I always would want to be by Garlan's side. "But I will never serve a Lannister."
"I know that you hold a grudge against them, but you need to set it aside. They are part of our family now, and we need to do our best to keep them on the throne. It's time to forget the past. I know you loved Renly, but he can't occupy your heart for eternity."
"He doesn't," I replied truthfully. "How can he be when my heart was torn out of me? He died protecting me, did you know that? He ordered Ser Barristan to save me. And what did the Lannister do? They tarnished his name after killing him. It wasn't enough to kill him in cold and unjustly way, but they made him most disgusting person upon his death, that the populace wouldn't even say his name again."
"There's nothing we can do about it." Garlan, at least, was honest. "He was an enemy, and enemies do not deserve any kind of consideration. I am sorry, I am truly, and I wish I could be by your side, but we must push down our emotions and do what is best for the family."
"I lived in the streets," I said while cleaning the training area so that I wouldn't face Garlan. "I was hunted down, dirty, starving, and scared. There were many times I thought of giving up. Many times, I couldn't handle the situation I was in. Do you know what kept me moving? Hatred. You're saying I should let it go. But it is already too late. Without this hatred, I don't know how to live. And I know you would have felt the same if Leonette was killed before your eyes."
"I know. I just thought you were better than me." Garlan couldn't deny it. "I am sorry, but I must do this before you do something stupid."
"Do what?"
"I exile you from King's Landing."
"What?" I couldn't believe what I had heard.
"You pushed this on yourself," Garlan said. "You are going home and be here until I say otherwise."
"And if I don't want to?"
"It isn't a request; you will do it, or I make you."
"Heh," I could only laugh. "I waited for you, you know. I waited for you and my father's army to storm King's Landing, putting justice in place and saving me from that darkness. But you didn't. Instead, you bent your knee to them, and now you do this? No, fuck you. I leave myself, and you and the rest of your family can just forget about me."
"Brother, don't make me raise my hand."
"I have no brother, no family, and no home." I walked past Garlan, not turning my head back.
It seemed I only had my hatred left. I wonder how long they were planning this. Probably ever since I killed the Mountain and only waited for Garlan to return so he could do the dirty work. It didn't surprise me, but it surely disappointed me. How dare they think I would do as they wish after all they have done?
…
The dark streets of King's Landing were the same as I had left them. Dark, cold, and full of rats. It seemed the war hadn't reached this place yet. For of all the dangers that lurked in these streets, somehow I felt quite safe. It was strange that even with a dagger and few coins on me, I felt far more secure here than I ever did in the Red Keep. Well, ever since that day, anyway. It was home to rats, and I belonged here.
I left the Red Keep before Garlan could act out. Even he had to keep up the act of a harmonious family, so he had to prepare his men if he wanted to force me away. Still, I am thankful for his actions. I should not have held back anymore for their sake. They made their decision, so I will respect that and do as I should have done a long time ago.
I will kill Tywin and Cersei.
…
Garlan POV
"We can't find him anywhere, ser." I nodded at the report and dismissed them.
Was Loras' room always so empty? He loved flowers, especially those gifted by Renly. I remember that before the war, his room was always colorful and full of various flowers. Keeping it fragment, even Margaery would be jealous of him and would cry why her room didn't have one or another flower that Loras had.
"He is gone?" Speaking of the devil. "He was even faster than we expected."
"He isn't the brother we used to know," I told my sister. "Not anymore."
"I know how you feel, brother," Margaery smiled sweetly. "But we had to do it. Now is the time to act. To show our loyalty. Besides, he will return."
It seemed everyone was colder than I thought they would be. But Margaery was right; Loras has already done enough to get our people in the court. Now, he would only push too far. We needed time to get rid of the Lannisters and consume everything they are worth. For now, we have to use Loras once again to distract them from us.