Tomioka couldn't remember the last time he had set foot on the butterfly estate.
The place retained the same smell of medicine and countryside. Polished wood and the scent of wisteria; with the whisper of all the Kakushi walking from place to place.
He didn't really like the place for the simple reason that Shinobu could appear at any corner to bother him as usual; not that he really liked the idea of being around people either so he did his best not to go or get in the way unless it was really important.
And Tomioka didn't know if he would consider this important.
Giyu had received a raven from the insect pillar. Something that was unusual, even for Kocho.
He had opened the message while eating lunch at a small street food stall and had read it without much interest at first. A cordial greeting that painted the ink with sarcasm and then the news that Tanjiro was currently at the butterfly estate.
That was something he did know. Kamado spent his days training there when he wasn't being sent on missions, but what struck him as odd was the phrase "he's been in a coma for two weeks and I need you to come see him."
He didn't understand why Kocho had thought it would be relevant to tell him now when on other occasions she hadn't. It wasn't something he expected, but he wasn't going to accept that it intrigued him either. Not at all.
So he decided to go to the estate as much as he didn't want to. It took him a few days to arrive, being greeted by Shinobu and Aoi's permanent smile beside her.
And when he had asked why she had sent for him, she replied in a sing-song voice, "After all, he is your responsibility."
Giyu didn't believe that to begin with. Tanjiro was someone independent whom he rarely saw. Sometimes he would get some crows from him, but it's not like Tomioka would answer. He didn't mean to be rude, but he had come to the conclusion that it was best to keep his distance from others and that interpersonal relationships were fucking painful in his circumstances.
Though well, he was the one who tried to kill his demon sister in the first place, but he was just doing his job.
He was also the one who told him not to be vulnerable and lectured him about how his empty words of bringing Nezuko back to normal were ridiculous for a weakling like him and ironically ended up motivating him in a way.
It was Tomioka who ultimately sent him to Urokodaki to become a demon slayer and who had pledged his life for his sister and ...
Okay. Maybe Tanjiro really was his responsibility.
And it was from the moment he hesitated to annihilate the demon.
Resigned, he ended up letting out a sigh in the hallway where Tanjiro's room was supposed to be. Repeating to himself that he was only doing it at Shinobu's request; otherwise she wouldn't leave him alone.
Tomioka walked at a slow pace and before he arrived, the door opened from the inside revealing Kanao, Kocho's young successor coming out of the place.
She seemed surprised to see him there as her shoulders twitched slightly when their gazes met. Neither said anything in the second of awkwardness that surrounded them and Kanao merely gave a small bow which he awkwardly returned before watching her walk away.
Tomioka had entered the room and, like the rest of the estate, it had a dense smell of medicine and disinfectant. It was a small room, with only the bed against the wall to his right, where Tanjiro was lying.
He was still unconscious, face up and with a peaceful expression on his face. He had bandages on his head covering the strange mark on his forehead with which he had met him and another on his chin and jaw.
He didn't know if he had others on more parts of his body, but from what Shinobu had told him, he had returned in a rather serious condition from a mission with Tengen. So he could only guess.
Tomioka then noticed the bundle huddled in the blankets next to Tanjiro. It was Nezuko, small as a five-year-old sleeping without letting go of her brother's hand. Tomioka watched them for a few long seconds, as he was enveloped by the cloying brotherly affection these siblings emanated even in their sleep.
Giyu walked at a silent pace up to them. He had in his memory the fresh memory of the young man begging him not to take anything else from him, and for a second he wondered what would have happened if he had simply done his job that time on the mountain.
He decided to push that thought away as he stood beside him now.
And maybe it happened without thinking or it was an action prompted by his cracked heart, but before he knew it one of his hands went up to Tanjiro's face, taking a lock of hair, pulling it back and bringing it behind his ear. It was soft to the touch, a little dirty surely from the time that had passed since he had last washed it, but Giyu didn't mind.
And then Tomioka knew this was dangerous, because through his tormented head a thought passed as if it were the whisper of wisteria swaying in the wind, which managed to soften something inside him.
Because maybe...
Maybe Giyu should respond to the ravens he receives from him.
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September 10th
What is this?
Giyu blinks a couple of times until he focuses his still drowsy gaze.
The hand on which he rests his weight sinks into the uncomfortable seats of the armchair where he woke up and where he is sitting, but his eyes are fixed on the palm of the other one, more specifically on the kanji written on his skin in black ink.
'Tanjiro'
It's a name, or so he assumes.
He doesn't think he knows anyone by that name, but it's certainly a name he heard somewhere. He recognizes it for some strange reason deep in his memory, but what causes the confused pinch between his eyebrows is the fact that he doesn't know how it got there.
It's not written in his handwriting, the penmanship is a little messier and scrambled and the ink has smudged a bit from the natural sweat on his hands, but the name is easy to read at a glance.
Strange. Giyu doesn't think he has any reason to want to write it on the palm of his hand in easy-to-erase ink, but as unusual as it is he lets it go after a few seconds when he notices that he's wearing a normal set of clothes instead of just pajama pants.
Then, as he tries to straighten his posture, a sudden pain in his back makes him relapse to the fact that he has woken up on the couch instead of in his bed. He lets out a grunt of annoyance at this, scolding himself aloud for the obvious stupidity of that decision.
His gaze sweeps around the apartment and he lets out a sigh covered in what he would consider relief. Finding the overwhelming but familiar loneliness of the apartment instead of endless mountains and a huge lake is comforting as fucked up as it sounds.
For the past few days he's been having the strangest dreams. As if he was living someone else's life; one very different from his own on several levels.
There he also had a sister with black hair and a warm smile, but compared to his own, she didn't worry about him as much and she was a few years younger.
He had more friends than he is used to and an oddly traditional looking grandfather. He also lived in a village in the middle of somewhere in Japan and, strangest of all, had a less mature appearance than his own. Large, pretty vermillion eyes; annoying earrings and a weird mark on his forehead.
When he woke up he would end up with something unusual burning under his skin. A thought buzzing around and saying that the people he was seeing look familiar; close in some way, especially the supposed family he was living with in those lucid dreams.
Frankly, deep down, he feels that those people had been part of his life at some point, but Tomioka knows that's impossible, having never set foot in a rural area like that. He has grown up in Tokyo all his life, and the only people he has come to establish close ties with that he maintains so far are his older sister, Tengen, and Sabito.
But the unmistakable feeling of deja vu is still there, clinging to his hand and tingling, although he's not going to pay too much attention to it for the moment.
Giyu rubs his eyes and lets out a long yawn. His hair is matted and his body is sweaty. If he has time he will have to take a bath. With a glance he finds his cell phone on the floor face down, picks it up praying it's not too late and scolding himself for not plugging it into the charger the night before.
There are still a couple of hours left until his first class and a quarter of the battery, which relieves him deeply. Tomioka is about to get up and head to the bathroom, but when he unlocks the phone screen he finds the diary app open in the main menu.
That's not strange, as he has a habit of writing in it in the evenings, but what makes him pause is the most recent note, glowing green amidst the blue of all the others. It greets him with an eerie strangeness.
It's dated from yesterday, but Giyu doesn't remember writing anything yesterday.
His fingers open it without much thought, feeling extremely uneasy about it and then read:
I wished Sabito-kun a good day today. That made him very happy, he even blushed! You should do that more often.
Oh! I also talked a lot with Tengen-san at lunch, he's a nice guy. He told me that I'm much more than a frown. I don't know what he means by that.
Anyway, I had fun today, it was a very nice dream Giyu-san!
Giyu has to blink a couple of times to take in what's on his phone. The frown on his face gradually increases until the pinch between his eyebrows seems to hurt.
What!?
Reading Sabito's name and the word blush in the same paragraph makes him feel an ephemeral surge of panic. The strange sensation of heat and embarrassment rises up his neck until it clusters on his cheeks. He wants to hold it back, but imagining Sabito blushing, blushing for him? is stronger at this moment.
His grip on the phone increases and his heart beats very confusedly in his ears. Tomioka really tries to imagine himself provoking those reactions in Sabito. Yes, he may have liked him for a few years now, but Tomioka isn't outgoing or risky enough to venture out and do or say something to accomplish that.
Giyu shakes his head and grimaces in disgust at the shiver that runs through him just putting that mental image in his head.
Yeah, he definitely didn't write that.
What's going on?
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"Wow, you actually deigned to comb your hair today." Tengen scoffs at the sight of him with his hair tied in the typical low ponytail. His fingers hold one of the jet-colored locks for a couple of seconds before letting go.
Giyu looks much more presentable than the day before when he wore it all loose and unbrushed. The stoic expression also returned and although the day before he was pleased to see Giyu much more open than he usually is, he can't help but widen his smile at seeing his friend normal again.
Tomioka doesn't say anything to him, nor does he stop his feet as he walks around the campus. He just rolls his eyes and settles the weight of the backpack on his shoulders once again.
He decided to ignore the strange way he had started his morning after the door to his apartment closed behind him, having realized that he had taken longer than necessary in the shower.
His only concern at the moment will be the exam he will be giving on Friday for which he must set a reminder on his phone. It won't be any weird dreams or vertigo provoking emotions.
No sir.
"Are we going to the cafe again today?" Tengen then asks, breaking the small bubble of silence they kept themselves in after a while.
"Sorry, I have homework to finish" Giyu replies simply. Regretfully remembering all the accumulated homework that for some reason he hasn't done until now. "I'll buy you that lunch some other time."
Tengen stops. Tomioka notices and does the same, turning to look at him with curiosity at the sudden and abrupt way he does it. The other looks at him with a questioning expression "But you already did."
Tomioka watches him for a couple of sharp breaths. The same frown he had in the morning reappears on his face. Confused and bewildered. Extremely bewildered.
Because Giyu definitely did not buy him that lunch. He would know since Tomioka has always been someone excessively careful when it comes to his own money. However, from the way Tengen assures him and from his own confused expression, it seems that he has indeed already done so.
Giyu only feels the panic rising.
"Wait a minute, was that you, Tengen? Have you been playing with my phone?" exclaims Giyu, leaning his body toward Tengen. The memory of the strange note on his phone from that morning is present in his memory. Hurried voice with a hint of insistence from the sudden idea that maybe it's Uzui playing a fucking joke on him.
"What?" Tengen answers him again, even more confused.
"Sabito has arrived!" neither manages to say anything else as Sabito's weight hits them from behind hugging them by the shoulders, or so he tries to do to Tengen, but all he manages to do is wrap his arms around him below the shoulder blades. Giyu is the only one who loses his balance a bit and leans forward when Sabito's bubbly, fruity voice reaches him, very, very close to his ear and greets them "Good morning!"
"You look happy today," Tengen smiles, catching that animated attitude from Sabito. His face turns to look at him, forgetting the confusion of a few seconds ago.
" Why sure, today's going to be a good day" he laughs. His cheekbones rise and his eyelids crinkle. His mood doesn't wane at any moment and for Tomioka it even seems to increase when he turns his face towards his direction and says, with a nice pink color on his cheeks, "Right Giyu?"
Giyu doesn't notice how his shoulders tense under Sabito's touch, nor how there are bubbles of heat rising to his face. His earlier concern fades between the pounding of his heart and the mocking chuckle Tengen tries to hold back at the surely ridiculous expression on his face at the moment.
What the hell is going on!?
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September 13th
'Tanjiro? Who are you? What are you?'
Tanjiro has his hand fully extended in front of him. Eyes fixed on the drawn kanji that run down his wrist to the inside of his elbow. Compared to the ones in his notebook, these look rushed, gone over several times on his skin with the black marker.
Again, he doesn't know how they got there. He tries to find an answer, but his memories crowd together and make him dizzy. They are blurry and do not allow him to think clearly.
There is a strange, disembodied voice in his ears whispering something akin to an apology and a wish for him to wake up soon, which for some reason squeezes his heart in the time it takes to fade and Tanjiro realizes that his sister is back under the door frame.
How long has she been there?
"Tanjiro, it's time for breakfast," Nezuko says. Her voice calm and laughing as always; he can feel the confused pinch between his brows relax.
His arm falls to his side; maybe he's trying to hide the words scrawled on his skin from his sister or maybe he doesn't notice, but he merely smiles at her before saying he'll be with them soon.
She closes the door. Her footsteps move away and Tanjiro raises his arm again; he fixes his gaze back on the ink, but doesn't hear that monotone voice inside his head again in the time it takes to get ready for school.
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" Morning..."
The moment Tanjiro sets foot in the classroom, the noise that once filled the atmosphere fades away. He is startled by the sudden change and by the fact that the eyes of all his classmates are now on him. Some are curious and others wary; whatever it is, they end up making him uncomfortable and his pace quickens until he reaches his desk next to Zenitsu.
"W-Why is everyone staring at me?" he asks self-consciously as he shuffles his chair.
Zenitsu doesn't take his eyes off him, even when he's already seated, and lets out an incredulous snort before answering him. "It must be because of the scene you made yesterday."
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September 12
Giyu let out the fifth yawn so far in their walk. He could feel several students from his class nipping at his heels from behind, walking the same path to the classroom.
His two so-called friends, in front of him, were again arguing over something stupid. The blond was very dramatic with his answers while the other boy, who by the way was holding a strange and creepy boar's head in his hands, was much more aggressive.
So far Tomioka hadn't bothered to learn their names as, first of all, he didn't care too much and, second of all, this was all nothing more than a dream so he didn't see the point in doing so.
He also couldn't quite remember the name of his sweet, giggly sister who he had gone to school with that morning, and that was the only thing that made him feel a little guilty, as the girl kept reminding him of his own sibling.
He glanced around the place one more time, running his eyes over the details of the classrooms and the leaves blowing off the branches of the trees on the other side of the windows.
God, it had been so long since he had been in high school.
This environment wasn't so unfamiliar to him, though. The hustle and bustle of students everywhere was something he also found in college, but he had forgotten what it was like to hear the sports teacher's whistle in the distance, to have to follow the insufferable schedule of back-to-back classes, or to wear the annoyingly hideous uniform.
Giyu had done his best to forget his high school days, as most of them were boring or simply irrelevant. Sabito was his only friend, but they weren't in the same class and he only saw him during breaks, so he spent most of his time alone.
It was strange for Tomioka to have people to interact with and say more than short yes and no sentences.
This guy... Tanjiro? seemed to be someone more sociable and warm with his classmates or people in general. He guessed as much from the way they treated him and Giyu would be lying if he said he didn't feel overwhelmed and fucking uncomfortable.
Giyu had tried not to talk too much so the others wouldn't notice anything strange like, I don't know, that he' s not in fact Tanjiro but someone else using his body, but everyone was getting pretty close to him so the task was proving more difficult than he would have imagined.
Fortunately for him there was only the last class left after arts, so now he just had to hold on until he reached the classroom. He would keep a low profile. Yes, that's what he would do
"Did you see the election posters?"
"No matter how they do it, nothing's going to change, except whoever gets the bribe."
Wait.
"Shh, that useless girl, Nezuko depends on it."
What?
"God, the idiot thinks she's soo much just because her uncle is the mayor."
"Ugh, I know right?"
Zenitsu turned around as he also heard the chatter and all the ridiculous comments towards his beautiful Nezuko. In doing so he found that Tanjiro had also suddenly stopped by one of the trash cans in the hallway.
The girls there hadn't noticed his presence as they were still talking a few feet behind them and Agatsuma thought his friend would say something to them, but his gaze was fixed on his shoes and he didn't move.
"Nezuko is my sister, right?" he then asked, stopping Zenitsu from doing anything. It was almost a whisper, but he heard it.
"Ah... yeah" he nodded in response, somewhat confused and thrown off by the noticeably serious and different tone of voice he spoke in. "T-Tanjiro!
The next thing he knew, Tanjiro had kicked the trash can next to him; cans and bottles bounced on the ground and the thump echoed loudly drawing the attention of most of the people around him, including those girls who were most likely in the same classroom as Nezuko, causing them to shut up.
Tanjiro watched them over his shoulder. His gaze was piercing. Cold and very, very annoyed. His jaw was clenched and there was a concerning pinch between his eyebrows.
"No, go on, keep talking." That was what he said to them, turning to face them fully and scaring them even more.
Everyone there sensed for the first time that depth in his voice and the latent threat painted in it.
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The sound of a ball hitting a baseball bat is heard along with the chirping of cicadas. It is hot and about ten minutes have passed since the break began.
The grip of his hands on the chopsticks weakens and the small rice ball falls back into the bento as Zenitsu finishes telling him what happened the day before.
Tanjiro has always been a true believer in justice and would do anything to protect and defend his sister, however, he is more about blunt and sometimes outrageous words than actions, so his stomach tightens and he breaks out in a cold sweat as he imagines himself behaving like that.
The rays of sunlight streaming through the branches of the tree they are standing under hit him directly in the face, but he is too dismayed to notice.
"I...I..." he passes saliva and doesn't bother to hide the panic he feels when he finally speaks "I did what?"
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The sunset is in the sky. The clouds are moving with fullness. There is no wind that afternoon, only the aroma of Urokodaki's brewed tea escaping into the garden through the open doors of the dining room he shares at that moment with his granddaughter.
Nezuko turns, as does her grandfather, when they hear the dull thud of the sliding door hitting the frame. Hurried footsteps follow and they see Tanjiro's figure run past them down the hallway.
He doesn't hear when his sister calls his name curiously, as everything around him feels too strong, coming towards him and hitting him with unheard and unimaginable understanding. He is more focused on climbing the stairs and getting to his room as quickly as possible.
The backpack falls carelessly next to the desk and Tanjiro rummages around until he finds his notebook. That notebook where the question that started it all was.
The pages turn, the tearing sound of each one resonates too much in his hatreds. In the last one written by him, after his English notes, he finds what he was looking for. A pile of scribbles and notes in no apparent order. Strikethroughs and totally unconnected writings.
Handwriting that is not his own.
"Is this...could this be..."
"No no no no no no..."
Giyu moves his foot up and down impatiently. The seat of his couch is particularly fussy at the moment and his t-shirt feels uncomfortably sticky. He has his phone a very small space away from his face.
His diary is open and Tomioka is flipping through it quickly, feeling the bewilderment and panic he's been carrying around all these days tighten in his chest in an overwhelming way the more he backs up his notes; because this cannot be happening.
"Could this be that we're really…"
It's not just one page that's written in Tanjiro's notebook. They are many, hidden among notes from weeks ago, each with the same calligraphy and quick sketches of various parts he recognizes from Itomori, such as the tori at the entrance to the sun god's temple.
The more pages he turns, the more he discovers. More glimpses of someone else's doubts and confusion. All they manage to do is increase the dark sense of panic that settles in his gut.
"In our dreams, that guy and I are..."
Realization hits Giyu. Impossibility and unrealism have come out of the shadows, making clearer the ridiculous situation he had been in for weeks now. The one he convinced himself were only strange dreams, in addition to the tormenting nightmares in which he saw himself using a katana.
His heart strangles in his throat at the thought of a stranger living in his body and intruding on his life.
"In our dreams, that guy and I are..."
It's clear. It' s real.
This is real.
As unimaginable as it seems, it is.
"Switching places?!"
"Switching places?!"