Chapter 25
The days in the polytechnic were nothing like I expected. When I first stepped onto the campus, I felt like an outsider in a world that was moving at a pace I wasn't quite ready for. The lectures were demanding, the assignments piled up faster than I could handle, and the overwhelming feeling of being a small fish in a big pond was hard to shake off. But there was a part of me that embraced the challenge. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I was doing something important—something that could change my future.
The first semester passed in a blur of textbooks, late nights studying, and navigating the social intricacies of university life. I made some new friends, mostly from my class, and I began to find my place within the hustle of campus life. But there were days when I questioned my decision. Days when I missed the security of the shop, the familiarity of the work I had been doing for so long.
During those low moments, I would think back to the days when I was with Emmanuel and Usman, the days before I made the choice to leave the familiar behind. I hadn't talked to them much since I started school, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had let them down. They were still out there, working hard in their own ways, and I was here, struggling to balance this new life I had chosen.
One evening, after a particularly exhausting day, I decided to call Emmanuel. It had been months since we last spoke, and I wasn't sure what to expect. The phone rang a few times before he answered.
"Fred! It's been a while, man. How are you doing?" His voice was warm, like nothing had changed.
"I'm good, bro. Just… trying to keep up with everything, you know?" I answered, feeling a wave of relief at hearing his voice.
Emmanuel chuckled. "I get it. School must be a lot to handle, huh?"
I sighed. "Yeah, it's tough. But I'm managing. I think I made the right choice... at least I hope I did."
There was a pause before Emmanuel spoke again. "I know you, Fred. You'll make it. You always do."
His words gave me a boost, more than I realized. We talked for a while longer, catching up on everything. Emmanuel told me he was doing well, still managing his business and studying part-time. He mentioned Usman and how he was still around, always cracking jokes and keeping things light, just like old times.
"You should come by sometime, man," Emmanuel said as our conversation wound down. "We miss you here. It's not the same without you."
"I'll definitely try, bro. I promise," I said, feeling a pang of guilt.
After hanging up, I sat back and let the quiet of my room wash over me. I had made a lot of mistakes over the past few years—choices that had led me down a winding path of self-doubt and distractions. But hearing from Emmanuel reminded me of something important: I wasn't alone in this journey. I had people who cared about me, who wanted to see me succeed. Maybe that was the motivation I needed to keep pushing forward.
The next day, I showed up to class with a renewed sense of determination. I dove back into my studies, focused on the work at hand, and started to take more pride in my education. I knew I was still a long way from where I wanted to be, but at least I was moving in the right direction.
As the semester progressed, I began to find a balance. The academic pressure was still there, but I started to understand how to manage my time better. I attended study groups, went to the library more often, and found myself participating more in class discussions. I could feel myself changing, growing, and for the first time in a long time, I was proud of who I was becoming.
But the hardest part was still ahead of me: figuring out how to survive without falling back into old habits. The temptation to go out and party, to chase after distractions that had once filled my days, was always lurking. Some days, the pull of the past was too strong to ignore. I would get messages from old friends asking if I wanted to hang out, to grab a drink or hit a party. It was so easy to slip back into the old routines.
But I knew I couldn't. I had made a commitment to myself, to my future. I couldn't let the distractions pull me away from the path I had chosen. So, I started to say no. I started to prioritize my studies, my goals. It wasn't easy, and there were days when I doubted myself, when I longed for the carefree days of drinking and partying. But every time I resisted the temptation, I felt a little stronger.
By the end of the semester, I had proven to myself that I could do this. I passed my exams with decent grades, nothing stellar but enough to show that I was capable of more than I had believed. And more importantly, I had learned to control the impulses that had once derailed me.
The next semester brought new challenges, but I felt more prepared. I started to get involved in more campus activities, joining clubs and meeting more people who shared similar interests. The academic pressure was still there, but I no longer felt overwhelmed. I had found my rhythm.
But no matter how much I changed, there was one thing that kept lingering in the back of my mind: the memory of Beth.
We hadn't spoken since she broke my heart, and I still hadn't fully come to terms with how she moved on so easily. Part of me wanted to reach out, to try and understand what went wrong, but another part of me knew it was better to leave it in the past. She had her own life now, just as I had mine.
For the first time in a while, I realized that I was finally putting myself first. I had always been the kind of person who tried to make everyone else happy, to please the people around me, but I was beginning to understand that in order to move forward, I needed to focus on my own journey.
As the new semester began, I walked across the campus with a sense of purpose. I didn't know what the future held, but for the first time in a long time, I was ready to face it head-on.