Chapter 18
As I walked back to the island that evening, the bus bounced over the uneven roads of Lagos, and I tried to focus on the rhythm of the city that always seemed alive, no matter the hour. The low hum of the engine, the distant chatter of passengers, and the occasional blaring of a car horn were like the background soundtrack of my life in Lagos. I thought about the GCE exams coming up, about Emmanuel's support, and about my growing feelings for Beth. I was beginning to feel like I had a chance, like I could maybe carve out a space for myself in this chaotic world.
But at the same time, the reality of my situation hung over me. My thoughts drifted back to Aunty Mary and her anger, to the disappointment in my family's eyes, and to the shame of being considered a failure. I wondered if they would ever understand that I wasn't trying to escape their love or guidance—I just needed to do things on my own terms.
When I finally arrived at Obalende, the sun had dipped behind the horizon, and the streets were lit by the glow of street lamps. The air was cool, and the hustle and bustle of the market had quieted down. I walked toward the familiar street corner near where I usually hung out with friends. There, a few of the guys from the neighborhood were gathered, talking and laughing. Usman was among them, and when he saw me, he waved me over.
"Fred! What's up, man?" Usman greeted me with a broad smile.
I sat down beside him, nodding at the others. They were all chatting about the latest football match, but I wasn't really paying attention. My mind was still on the events of the day. I couldn't stop thinking about Emmanuel's help, the GCE exam I had to prepare for, and the ever-present worry about where I would stay at night.
"How's everything going?" Usman asked, his voice lowering as he noticed the serious look on my face.
"Good. I'm just trying to figure things out," I answered, not wanting to burden him with too many details.
He nodded, his face softening with understanding. He'd always been the type to sense when something was wrong, even when I didn't say it out loud.
"You still staying at Mr. Mohammed's place?" Usman asked, his tone careful.
I shook my head. "Nah, I had to leave there. It's complicated."
"Complicated?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "What happened?"
I took a deep breath. "Aunty Mary found out I was staying there, and she made a scene. Now, I'm kind of… on my own."
Usman didn't say anything at first. He just stared at me, as if trying to process everything. Finally, he spoke.
"You know, you can always crash at my place again, Fred," he said. "I don't care what my dad thinks. You're my friend. You always have a place to stay."
I smiled, touched by his offer. "I appreciate that, man, but I don't want to keep putting you in that position. I need to figure this out for myself."
Usman nodded, though I could tell he didn't fully agree with me. But he didn't press the matter any further.
"Well, if you ever change your mind, my door's always open," he said, clapping me on the shoulder.
"Thanks, bro," I replied.
The conversation shifted back to the usual banter, but I couldn't shake the nagging feeling in my chest. I knew Usman was a true friend, and I appreciated his support, but I couldn't keep depending on him. I needed to prove to myself that I could handle things, even if it meant facing them alone.
As the night wore on, I made my way back to the street where I'd been hiding out. I'd avoided returning to Aunty Mary's place ever since the confrontation, not wanting to deal with the anger or the questions. My mind raced as I searched for any possible solution to my living situation.
I knew the cold room was no longer an option, and I couldn't keep relying on others. I needed a place that would offer me more than just a roof over my head. I needed somewhere I could plan for the future, where I could study for the GCE exams, and maybe, just maybe, find a way to get my life back on track.
That's when it hit me.
I had never really considered it before, but there was one place I could go. The one place where I could have some peace. My grandmother's house in the village.
The thought made me pause. I hadn't been back there in years. Part of me had always resisted the idea, thinking I would be giving up on everything I had started in Lagos. But another part of me knew that going back to the village wasn't necessarily a defeat. It was just a different path—one that might give me the space I needed to breathe and figure things out. My grandmother had always been kind to me, and she had a way of offering wisdom without judgment. Maybe that was what I needed right now: some time away from the chaos, to reflect and prepare for the future.
I stood there, weighing my options, when my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a message from Beth.
"Hey, just wanted to check in. How are you doing? Hope you're okay. Can we meet tomorrow?"
I smiled as I read the message. Beth was always there for me, always checking in, always offering her support. Her words were a reminder of how much she cared, and for the first time in days, I felt a glimmer of hope. I knew I had a lot of decisions to make, but I wasn't entirely alone in this journey. I had friends, and I had Beth.
Maybe things would be okay after all.
I quickly typed a reply.
"I'm okay. Let's meet tomorrow. I'll let you know where."
After hitting send, I turned and walked toward the bus stop. The night was still young, but the city felt different tonight. Less like a place I was trying to survive in, and more like a place I could start building a life.
Soundtrack: Weightless by Marconi Union