i gulped in fear by his smrink and that type of look on face! unable to utter word!
(damn dont stared at me with that playful smrink of yours with that eyes turning myside with that really? type of look. )
he: so....mm..(he start interwiding our fingures while coming close and my heart start dancing like its on disco stage performing his performance happy or scared hard to tell. but one thing for sure..i am Paniked right now. that i want to run away.. were my eyes stucked on him...noticing his every action. suddenly he start getting on me(no there is lot of gap between us but still his moving on me making mr slide down.....i h-hahe is close to my ear as his breath touch my ear loabe i was frozed but my nails are ready to scrach him.
suddenly his smrink turned into a giggly laugh. and he move side BUT still grabing our hand!
(looking side from me....not able to make eye contact not him nor me. )
me: ah..a..they paired us. so..llets go to complete task first and then
he: first! and then?
me: and then?...w-what! what huh then we need to save others also i am worried about them.
he: and what about me?
me: ah...do i need to answer this quetion?..WAIT! to answer your quetions am not google okey!
he just smiled at me..
and hug me...crassing my hairs..
(why so emotional today huh! what happen to this dude! why he always hug me like i am something very important to him and his scared to lost. who thr hell on earth treat there bets like this!
just go on and hurt me, broke my heart, hate me!, pull then push me, show me that crule nature, judge me, laugh at me, make my joke, treat me like showcaae thing, or a bird in cage use for fun ,
show me love is bad and moster like me dont desurve it! and leave me in middle of road alone let me choose do or die, dont care about me. dont get worried about me. stop your heart beating for me, LIKE OTHERS DO! i will be able to bear that pain. oove is pain i cant bare. am not precious for you. it maybe attraction or something cause no one can fall for me ever. and even if you thought its love. my love is not safe. its so deep for you! and am scared if you after loving me leave like others betaeen road and i turn become harmful for you and hurt you then what huh! i know after knowing me your flow will be low towards me and at a point your love is gone. i know how this is gonna end but it all be ok. so lets just end before start. let me stay in my red line dont come inside dont grab my hand and drag me out from this line. i dont want to fill something i want to turn my heart in stone...i want to act like doll hurtless. dont make me act like girl. why giving me hopes!
why showing me that am precious
why caring me
why worried for me
why make me fill safe like home
why make me fill special with you
why make me fill loved
why make my heart starnger to me by making him belonging to you. why your doing this. why want to surch for her who is hided in deep down. why you want me.
why you love me.
if i ever love you. it will be forver. and it will expect love from you for forever creating a very special bond between us...if you see with love it will be delicate thread around you. playing with lil fingure of your Left which easy to cut and if you ever see it with hate it will be rope around your neck. do you still want to fall for me?
i know you were able to cross this wall between us. but dont slide those cartains around me. dont surch for real me. she is weak ,pure kind, she is strong and stubborn to be still alive inside waiting for somone who will find her. but am making her safely alone dieing inside behind lot of cartains. dont save her. she desurve for what she are. angels should be in heavens only! earth never meant to place were they should stay!
ah...i should wakeup from dreams i had and push him side! BUT am unable to control on myself...my body, heart and maybe soul too want him but mind stops me saying the reality making me stand front of mirror of reality
stoping me showing what we are.
i should stop dreaming about fairytales. life is reality need to open my eyes CAuse dreams are dreams it only can shown by eyes close. )